how important is sex in a relationship?

[ramsickle1369]

No, I'm not referring to any specific poster on this thread so, moderators, this isn't a flame.

 

(Love having to give disclaimers)

 

LMAO! Guess all have to do that now, huh?

[melrich]

I think it's far more often the emotional connection which of course affects the physical.

 

In my view, you are trying to separate things which cannot be separated. In an intimate relationship a strong emotional connection depends on strong physivcal connection and vice versa.

 

If either is weak then the relationship has problems.

[ramsickle1369]

In my view, you are trying to separate things which cannot be separated. In an intimate relationship a strong emotional connection depends on strong physivcal connection and vice versa.

 

If either is weak then the relationship has problems.

 

Very well said!

[xonicolemarie]

ive been dating my guy for 7 months and we still havent done it..we do other stuff though and it does make us feel more connected..but it def. doesnt play the most important role in our relationship

[Batya33]

In my view, you are trying to separate things which cannot be separated. In an intimate relationship a strong emotional connection depends on strong physivcal connection and vice versa.

 

If either is weak then the relationship has problems.

 

That was my point in responding to the poster who separated out "bad sex" as an impetus for cheating.

[melrich]

That was my point in responding to the poster who separated out "bad sex" as an impetus for cheating.

 

LOL.....I am not sure about "bad" sex. I think the thing is about all needs is that if a human's need are not met, they likely will seek out ways to meet them, whether that be physical or emotional or financial etc etc. It is the nature of the beast.

[Batya33]

LOL.....I am not sure about "bad" sex. I think the thing is about all needs is that if a human's need are not met, they likely will seek out ways to meet them, whether that be physical or emotional or financial etc etc. It is the nature of the beast.

 

Yes, I agree but in my opinion those who seek to fill those needs before ending the relationship by having sex with someone else is not cheating "because" of the bad sex but "because" his or her values justify that type of behavior.

[melrich]

Yes, maybe not "justify" the behaviour but don't get in the way of it.

 

Either way, if you do not satisfy to a significant extent your partner's emotional and physical needs you will be dumped or cheated on.

[ramsickle1369]

Yes, maybe not "justify" the behaviour but don't get in the way of it.

 

Either way, if you do not satisfy to a significant extent your partner's emotional and physical needs you will be dumped or cheated on.

 

I agree that one needs to get out of one situation before embarking on another. Not just to save face, but the emotional ramifications are too great to not heal from one before starting another.

[DuffyBalloon]

I don't think sex itself is mandatory but if two people are having sex then it is mandatory that it is satisfying for both. I am of the variety of people that believes if you can't get the sex right then a committed relationship is a waste of time. I'm talking about proper intimacy by the way, not just bumping uglies. It is the ultimate symbol of trust, communication and respect (things which I think ARE mandatory), but it is not the only one.

 

I don't understand what all these percentages mean by the way. Sex is not mutually exclusive to any other method of expression. Defining such things in absolute values is misleading anyway.

[girl68]

Sex is number one. Okay tied at number one.

 

If I'm not getting the sex you're not getting love. Sounds harsh but sex is something I bond over with the man I love.

[Taomagicdragon]

If I were to make a list:

 

1 - Love (emotional connection)

2 - Intelligence

3 - Humour

4 - Conversation

5 - Hobbies

6 - Physical intimacy

[girl68]

^ Wow number 6?!

[ramsickle1369]

Very interesting how everyone has such vastly differing opinons. I didn't used to think that sex was so important, until I went without for many years. Suddenly, it became obvious that the lack of physical intimacy caused the breakdown of just about everything else. I believe that Tao's list is not so much as ranked as it should be equal parts of the whole.

 

Without love, the sex is, as Duffy said, "bumping uglies". Without sex, the love will fade. Without Intellegence, humor, conversation and hobbies will be hard to share. So I suppose it is all 100% important...

 

I suppose the rank method is throwing everyone off as it really isn't something that can be ranked accross the board.