second_opinion Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 Has anyone dated or liked someone's personality but not really their looks? I know its very shallow, but its just a question. Do you start liking their looks after awhile?? I think I am sort of attracted to this person because they can get me aroused, but I still feel like they can put more effort in their looks. Link to comment
arwen Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 I think both are part of attraction, and both can also change over time. For the inside, when you are in the early stages of dating or a relationship, there is no way you know someone's complete personality, all his habits, etc. As for looks, I have experienced that also attraction can grow. What seems to be 'looks' can also be related to personality-- I didn't used to be THIS attracted to my bf (when we were friends/housemates for 2 years before we got together). Now that I get to know him more and more, my heart makes a leap when I see his eyes and I want to cuddle him all the time. It's a weird thing, and I doubt that there is an algorithm from which you can predict attraction. Ilse Link to comment
pooh-bare Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 I think it's very possible.......when I first met my ex, I wasn't interested in all. My first thought was "not so hot looking", but then I got to know him, fell in love with him and he became THE most gorgeous man I'd ever seen.....Too bad he turned out to be a real jerk in the long run..............."I firmly believe lust and passionate sex are the basis and foundation stones of a healthy relationship" ~ unknown Link to comment
rightfromthestart Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 total opposite for me. when i first saw my ex i thought omg! wooo hoo. then reality sunk in. teasing. what attarcted me first was the written word, then voice, then seeing her. we actually started dating in reverse. we ended as most relationships do - but i liked the way it started. for me the attraction was based on the person - but when the ex wore those f--k boots one nite, that was pretty sweet 2! lol Link to comment
Ms. Babydoll Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 I think both are part of attraction, and both can also change over time. For the inside, when you are in the early stages of dating or a relationship, there is no way you know someone's complete personality, all his habits, etc. As for looks, I have experienced that also attraction can grow. What seems to be 'looks' can also be related to personality-- I didn't used to be THIS attracted to my bf (when we were friends/housemates for 2 years before we got together). Now that I get to know him more and more, my heart makes a leap when I see his eyes and I want to cuddle him all the time. It's a weird thing, and I doubt that there is an algorithm from which you can predict attraction. Ilse I can't agree more Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 well, call me shallow, but I can't date someone unless I am attracted to their looks. otherwise, they are "just a friend" to me, and i don't want to kiss my friends! that said, I agree with ilse, that as you get to know someone, and find that they are a wonderful person, they can start to look better and better to you. Likewise, if you meet someone and you see that they are mean, they can look worse and worse. that said, there are no guarantees in life. you could marry a model, but if they get into a car accident and get deformed, would you still love them? i would hope so... Link to comment
sparkle1 Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 i think it all depends on what you are looking for? I don't think you are shallow. But i think i you need to look outside the box. If you get on with that person, talk about everything, share things together, but you're not 100% there with there looks, - bad news? or simply a deeper love and connection? Looks are looks - at the end of the day ....we'll lose them at some point!! I think looks are totally over rated. I also think we put up with things sometimes because....they're good looking?! Link to comment
rightfromthestart Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 i think everything is connected. lets say u see this guy, and you notice he has great shoulders, and you think, mmmmmmmmm. then the first time you rest your head on those shoulders, it just feels right - the fit is perfect and u go...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh or you notice his hands...they look rugged and strong and you like that...but when you hold hands, u notice the embrace is tender and assuring...and u go....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh connectionssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss! Link to comment
sparkle1 Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 Yes right from the start...connection is important - very important, but are we saying that connection is OK - but if they're not all that looks wise...we ignore the basics? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 It is hard for me to answer a question like this because "looks" are different from 'the look" of the person which is more what causes me to be attracted to a man. I have been out with men who look like models and felt nothing - something about their presense, energy, personality, whatever, was a turn off or I felt neutral. Yes, there are some men who are just not appealing at all and it will never change and that is about looks - but that is rare. For me, I have to want to kiss the man at least by the 4th date or so - not that we would necesarily kiss but I need to want to. I also need to feel like I want to be near them - hold hands, etc. Sometimes a gorgeous face makes that easier, but not necesarily. Link to comment
sparkle1 Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 indeed....waking up to a beautiful face everyday is nice...but not if you can't have a chat whilst eating breakfast!! Personality personality personality!!! that is what counts. To me...if we click, have a spark, enjoy one anothers company, then the looks are totally irrelevant. that said to most men (sorry guys) to get to the personality stakes - we have to get throu the looks..... Link to comment
southerngirl Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 One day our looks will fade. We will age and our bodys will fail us. In the end I think its personality and what really makes the person who theya re from the inside that counts. You can fall in love with looks but that only takes you so far, once you get to know the person for who they are inside they can either become more and more attractive or uglier and uglier. Looks shouldnt be the most important qualification. Link to comment
rocio Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 Just a question: Would you want someone to sleep with you if he wasn't attracted to you? Link to comment
second_opinion Posted October 2, 2006 Author Share Posted October 2, 2006 Yehh everyone has a valid point... Well in my case the guy is sweet, he can look good but doesnt put much effort in it. There is a connection, its not really big though, but there is potenial. He isnt bad looking or anylooking, he just doesnt care. Link to comment
second_opinion Posted October 2, 2006 Author Share Posted October 2, 2006 Just a question: Would you want someone to sleep with you if he wasn't attracted to you? No, definatly not... but there is some attraction.. Link to comment
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