Nude pics of ex

[doyathink]

Do you really think that he's still in love with her? If he was, why is he staying with me?

 

Perhaps! Quite possible! Is he the co-dependent type? Is he satisfying his loneliness with you? OR...he loves you and wants you but cannot at this time let her go completely!

[Anna.]

well, she's still an issue after 2 and a half years, what does that say to you?

 

Get away from this screwed up, unhealthy relationship. You are teaching your children through your actions that this is ok and it's not. He's a liar and an abuser. You had two black eyes! No man should ever put his hands on you like that, period. LEAVE HIM.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I'd probably have left him before that. He sounds just DElightttfullllll

[schmandy]

I would confront him with his lie. Yes, you snooped - but it was justified!

 

If you think of a child who lies, think of how you would try to correct the situation. You can't ignore their lie. You can't try to out-sneak them. You HAVE to confront it.

 

Why does he find it necessary to keep those pictures? Is he going to one day show them to his grandchildren?

 

I'd be highly insulted. But that's just me. When I first got together with my husband, he admitted that an ex had given him certain underwear. The next week, he was a bit short on underwear! He knew I did it, but never confronted me with it. I would have admitted to it if he had. Instead, I just bought him new undies.

 

All of us have a right to feel emotions for our partners. And memories of their ex do not bring out positive ones for most of us. Let us know how it progresses.

[SherriLi]

Hello ppl.

 

Its pretty much over now.

 

Ever since he told me he threw out the pics, and we thought we moved past that sh*t, he was happy and being very nice.

 

Friday, he said he had to work all weekend, he offered to watch the kids while i went out, he even said "You can even go to the bar honey, i trust you". So i stayed at my moms and played some crib and dice with my brothers and sister until just after eight, , (he gets off at eight) when i got home he was pretty mad because i wasn't there when he got home. He was like "well, i didn't know where you were! What you were doing!"

He didn't know about me finding and trashing the pics yet. So i was pretty mad, that he was giving me sh*t about staying at my mom's until eight. He was probably right though. I said i had to the kids hair, but i decided to do it Saturday instead. The whole family was at my mom's, i was having a good time. I didn't think it would hurt anything.

 

After he gave me sh*t about something so trivial as that i lost my temper. Started screaming at him about the pics. He said that he meant to throw them away, but he wanted to burn the face out of them first. He could have done that earlier right? It's not rocket science.

 

We fought and fought, finally he came to my rooom and said, "ok, i'll end the friendship, just let me do it on my own terms."

 

He moved out anyway. He said that only time can heal what has happened between us, all the pain we've caused eachother. He's absolutley right. Says he needs to be away from me for a while.

 

It was soo terrible, we both shed so many tears. He came Saturday saying all he wants is me, he doesn't want to be anywhere else. We were both crying so bad.

 

I lied to him too, about a past ex-boyfriend he was friends with. One day long ago this ex and my b/f's best friend came over for drinks, i was trying to keep to my self. I didn't want to interfere too much, they were in the kitchen playing dice, so i sat in the living room and was playing ps2, This old ex of mine sat down on the floor and started watching me. I asked him if he wanted to play cuz he looked interested. My b/f got super jealous, and after they left, he asked me if i ever slept with him. I lied and said no.(we were together 2 years and he only slept w/me once in the beginning. Then he cheatede on me through out the rest of the rel.) I had my reasons for lieing, cuz he was soo furious with me, cuz he really liked this guy, and i knew it would ruin any friendship they had, and also cuz im ashamed of my past, and also it didn't mean anything to me. I was a promiscuous teen. I have changed and am not like that anymore, so it shames me. I know i shouldn't have lied. Cuz it made things 10x worse in the end.

Well after he left home, he went to this ex's house with his bestfriend (they are both *ssholes) They were laughing, apparently i was the butt of thier jokes, the old ex said hey, we have both slept with her now! My man stood up, and told him to shut up, ans said that i didn't. When he came back that night, he asked me and i told him the truth.

He feels foolish for standing up for me, when i was the one who lied, and he called him a liar. He said that both of those frienships are over now and he's really hurt by that. And it's my fault. He came back that night to stay. But after i came clean about lying, he left, and he was soo mad at me. Now im the one in the wrong. He says he needs time away from me, that he doesn't want to see me.

I asked him if it was over yesterday when he came over, he didn't say no. Just that he needed time away from me.

 

I just feel so lost without him. He's the center of my world. The house is soo empty without him there. I can't leave him...

 

Do you think he'll be back??

[flower99]

Darling, You aren't happy & he's not happy. As a result your child probably isn't either.

There is so much lies & hurt in this relationship. the fights lead to screaming & hitting. This is unhealthy for everyone.

Why stay?

These problems with him won't go away. Time can't erase the past.

If it's only because you are lost & empty without him, than fix that inside you. Find yourself again. You don't NEED him. You CAN do this. If God brings you to it, he will help you through it. You have the strength within you to make it through this & come out wiser & stronger for it. It's time to focus on you & your child now.

Best of luck, I wish you happiness.

[rightfromthestart]

i would not tell him u found the pictures and know he is lying and then tell him that u really dig his body and that you want to be able to see his naked * * * whenever u want and to do that u want to take pix of him. then when u do, tell him its over - dump him - and burn the photos in front of him - then a few weeks later send him an email with a few attachments [which are the real pix, you torched copies] and say...opppppppppppsy, guess i lied just like you! lol

 

teasing. trying to make a funny. i would grab those pix, and kick his soory * * * to the moon alice!

 

personally, any pictures that a couple took together should be treated with respect. my policy is, as the man, you should always give all couple, or solo pictures to the woman and let her decide what she wants to keep, what she whats you to keep, and what ones should be burned. and if there is any compromising pictures of your partner, they don't belong to you. they belong to her or him. because they did so because they trusted you then so keep up your side of the deal.

[SherriLi]

Thanks for your kind words Flower99.

 

I just can't help but feel like he's turned the tables on me so he is in more control over the break up. I can't help but see my self falling for it. I am putty in his hands and he knows it. This sucks.

 

He came over at lunch today to grab his glasses, he said hed pick more of his stuff on Saturday. Said he was done with all of this * * * *. He brang up a bunch of old sh*t and now i feel like dirt.

 

He should be in my position right now. He's the one who:

Left me in the beginning of our rel. to pursue her. Cheated and gave me an std. Went to a wedding after he chose me and then kissed her, swore all year long that he didn't touch her. He didn't confess until about a month ago. He doesn't even call that cheating. He's the one who beat me. He's the one wanted to have an abortion, because he wasn't sure f*ckin finished with his ex yet. He's the one who brought forth all this pain.

Yes, i lashed out. I yelled, said hateful things, i was hurt.

 

He's tellin me that he is finished with my sh*t. God he made me feel low today. Ohh man i don't know if i can take this pain, ITS ONLY DAY 3!

What can i do to stop it? He said he's finished. He's soooo mad because of that lie.

[head_heart]

my bf has a homemade sex video tape of him and his ex having sex...more of filming her though....He told me he did some naughty thing with her but didn't tell me if he still keeps it...I accidentally found it out while I was looking for some other tapes...I watched it and my heart sank...But I didn't say anything and I let it go... I think it's his right to keep it...it was a part of his life. I don't have naked pics or sex tape of my exes, but they are in my memory and no one can really take them away. However, I know past is past, the man I love is him now. I don't miss any of my ex bfs while I am with him. But on last Friday, we had a big fight. It was about his ex, who he filmed. The fight was not about the tape, it was like this girl was enaged, and then she threw herself to him and he was horny and then ..well you know the rest. We were arguing about moral standards...but it ended up him telling me he felt that 4 months were "his happest time" ever and that girl was not a bad person or I am a better person. I got really hurt and I made a connection with the tape, which made me feel even worse. I left him for my apartment (we live together in his house) without telling him why. He called and apologized and asked me to go home.

 

I think the problem is not about the pics or the tape, it is about if you think and believe you are the only woman in his heart while you two are together. I never felt more secure with anyone else but him. He asked me to move in with him, he introduced me to his family, he cancelled his membership on link removed soon after we met, he let me access his email ( I don't want to though)...I felt he is the man that I can really trust. I have faith in what I believe and I decided to forgive him. Besides, while I was giving hard time to him, he was quiet patient (he is not a good tempered man and he is quitting pot, quiet depressed), looking at me or just lying beside me to watch me sleep. Last nite, he taped us and I felt.... kinda happy (b/c i feel special??) but also sad (b/c what he said about that girl)...

 

I think the difference between your case and my case is your bf lied to you. That's bad. My bf wouldn't lie to me, if I asked him if he had the tape, he probably would have told me he did. At some point he has to throw that tape away though. Now I think it's not the time. We are just bf and gf, not married yet. No one knows if it's going to work out or not. It's not fair to ask him to give up his belongings for someone he might or might not have in the future.

 

This is jsut my way of thinking. Hope it helps...

[rightfromthestart]

"It's not fair to ask him to give up his belongings for someone he might or might not have in the future."

 

i disagree [when don't i - lol] - but wouldn't this be the perfect time to ask him to give that up - that would tell u about his future

[head_heart]

His behaviors kinda indicates what he wants from me, which I believe it's marriage. However, I have learned things can change, nothing is really certain. Only time can tell us. I've only been with him about 1 year, living together for 4 months. It's too soon for me to make decisions. ...again, just my philosophy...

[flower99]

yes he know that we are thier putty in there hands. Change that. don't be his putty. Don't allow him to feel like sh*t. You know your lie was mild compared to the list of crap you wrote right here that he's done to you. So regardless of if he turns the tables on you...YOu know the truth! .

Yes it's only been 3 days & I know it's hard...I'm sorry (hugs)...but it's going to get worse before it will get better. You CAN do this. Just keep your eyes on the light at the end of a tunnel.

Pray. Take care of you & your child now. Getting back with him, would NOT be healthy for you & your child....so always remember you're doing the right thing & God WILL give you strength. believe it & Believe in yourself.

[SherriLi]

yes he know that we are thier putty in there hands. Change that. don't be his putty. Don't allow him to feel like sh*t. You know your lie was mild compared to the list of crap you wrote right here that he's done to you. So regardless of if he turns the tables on you...YOu know the truth! .

Yes it's only been 3 days & I know it's hard...I'm sorry (hugs)...but it's going to get worse before it will get better. You CAN do this. Just keep your eyes on the light at the end of a tunnel.

Pray. Take care of you & your child now. Getting back with him, would NOT be healthy for you & your child....so always remember you're doing the right thing & God WILL give you strength. believe it & Believe in yourself.

 

Hi Flower99,

 

Thanks for the encouraging words

Well yesterday at lunch he came back and got his glasses. He made me feel so completely low.. Asked me who else i slept with even before we started dating, and the few monthes that we broke up in the beginning of the rel. so he could pursue HER. He made me feel like such a sl*t. Then he said he was through with my sh*t and said he'd be by on Sat. to pick up the rest of his stuff. I just agreed with him and told him he was right, that i shouldn't have lied. but pointed out that he lied too.

Anyway, after work he phoned. I was feeling pretty low and having a crying session. He apologised fir naking me feel like crap. He said that he needed time and that he'd see me saturday... What does that mean? That he is still moving out completley, but we aren't over yet?? That i didn't get. I just told him to take all the time he needs.

 

I'm not going to call..... i won't beg for im to come home... Im gonna give him all the time that he needs to get over everything that has happened.

Then i'll decide what path i'll take when it comes down to that.

 

Flower99.. Don't you see... If it was alllllll bad i wouldn't have considered going back in the first place. All of our fights and anger have been about this friendship between them. I know NOW.. that if i would ahve handled it different, then everything would have been alright. We never talked when it came to this. We fought and i'd yell "at least put some distance between calls" Until the other night.. i said "honey, all i ask is that you put some disstance in between phone calls" He said "youve never put it like that before. Of course i will baby. If you would have asked me like that in the beginning i would have said yes without question"

 

And the night we broke up. I TOLD him to end the friendship, he said over and over and over again "NOBODY tells me what to do" like he was hinting to me. So i tried it, and what happened? "i'll call her once more and tell her and end it, but on my own terms." Like magic. I handled alot in the wrong way. I was soooo angry that he was calling her against my wishes that i never stopped to think that maybe if i was nice about it.. I was too hurt and angry to place my self out of the situation.

Before all that crap started, and in between after he quit contacting her, everything is absolutley wonderful! How can i give that up when i see now what the problems were and now that he is going to correct his part, and i know how to correct mine?

[emptyinside4yearsafter]

never let your partner take nude pictures of you after you have been in the swimming pool

 

[the frightened turtle behaviour]

 

link removed

[flower99]

How can you give up? well I wouldn't look at it like giving up.

I would look at it as drawing a line, there is only so much crap you can be put through & put your child through.

Stop thinking about what you want it to be & all it COULD be. Look at what it is. Sure you have your great parts...of course you do.. And you say it "could work" if.... but it hasn't, and it isn't.The bad out weighs the good.

if happiness & true love was truly meant to be found in this relationship ...You would have found it by now. I believe you deserve better..but are settling.

Keep on trying if you like...I wish you the best whatever your decision is.

[SherriLi]

Yur probably right about it being WHAT it is Flower...

 

He came to see me last night.. Got down on his knees told me loved me and he couldn't be away from me.

 

Had a wonderful night.

 

Came over today for lunch. I asked him if he was still moving the rest of his stuff out on Sat. He said yes... ???? If we are working on things why would he need all of the stuff that he never even touched since he moved in a year ago? IF he was so sure it wasn't going to work??? He said he didn't want me to take it for granted. He also told me that i really got to work on my reactions when im disappointed. I didn't do anything, just put my lunch to the side. When someone gets disappointed, they tend to lose their appitite right?

 

He also told me i really need to work on my anger problem, he knows what it's like because his were alot worse than mine. He was pulling people out thier cars at intersections from road rage because of his anger problems. I have an anger problem because he continues to choose his ex's frienship over my feelings, and now from the lookds of it, our relationship also.

Then he said he didn't like the fact that i was "forcing" hiim to end thier friendship. I asked him and he said he would. Now that he sees i really want him back he's trying to go back on that....

He said i shouldn't have asked him to end the frienship, that i should believei n him.

 

*sigh* i just don't get it. I know i said that i wasn't going to call him or see him. I haven't called him once, he's initiated every single encounter. When he invited himself over yesterday, i did't even think.... Yes popped out of my mouth even before i had a chance to blink.... Now this. You are probably right ](*,)

[flower99]

Awww....i'm sorry. ((hugs))

 

for every loss, something better comes along.

If he's not the one for you (which I'm thinking he really isn't) than that means, someone is BETTER for you. Someone will treat you better, will love more, will cherish you and all you are, someone will handle you more gently, someone will put YOU on the pedestal.

Look towards the light at the end of this tunnel. God will give you strength through this.

[Rabican]

For the sake of your kids, your safety, and happiness you should break up. I was willing to say confront him about the pictures and tell him to stop talking to the ex until you said you beat each other up... thats not a healthy relationship. Unless you are built like an nfl linebacker I couldnt ever imagine hitting a woman. You need to make your split... or hit up a counselor, but the current situation isnt good.

[SherriLi]

Oh the violence only happened once, He cried and cried and wanted to turn himself in, but i didn't want him to.

I could see how badly he regretted it.

The look in his eyes when he snapped out of it and stopped punching me... Ill never forget that look.. No it will never happen again..