Bf into Lesbians

[tinkerbelle26]

Does anybody think that it is a problem that my boyfriend loves to watch lesbian action, especially girls orally pleasing one another and persistently tells me its okay if I want to try things with other girls...but only if he can watch. I've never expressed any interest in other girls, so I'm just wondering if there is an underlying cause to his fantasies about girl on girl action, and why he does not prefer to think about men and women together?

[socks1w]

Well alot of guys I know enjoy watching girls together,I think its just somethin that sparks thier interest.I think its pretty normal,nothin to worry about really.Diff things turn diff pple on.

[avman]

That is a very common fantasy for men. Don't ask me why, but there are studies all over the place that list this one as a top fantasy.

 

If it upsets you, then you should talk directly to your boyfriend about it. The real issue is whether the fantasy causes friction in your relationship rather than the nature of the fantasy itself.

[laboheme]

Oh, the infamous lesbian question. The way I've heard it answered is...Twice as many boobs, twice as many vaginas, twice as many of everything...hey, a guy is happy. Also, some men seem to think (perhaps with good reason?) that women know how to please themselves and hence know how to please other women. So by watching two women interact they want to be educated...and enjoy the double view.

[Xx7shadesRedxX]

no surprises there... most men are into lesbian action... i was in a situation like that myself... my bf at the time wanted a menage trois with another woman and i had no desire to do it... it caused friction up until i talked with him about it... he settled for porn. problem solved.

[itsallgrand]

Like the others said. ^

 

As for his comments about it being 'okay for you to be with another girl, as long as he can watch' : I'd clear that up right away. He's trying to see if he can make that happen. Boys are silly.

[shes2smart]

A bisexual friend of mine always used to say that guys who think 2 girls together would be really cool overlooked one potential outcome: They'd realize they didn't need HIM around to....er....get the job done.

 

It's a common enough fantasy, but if it doesn't float your boat or sound like something you want to try/experiment with, I'd make that clear up front and ask him not to pressure you about it.

[Scotcha]

They way my boyfriend put it..

 

Girls = GOOD

Guys = BAD

 

Girl + Girl - Guy = PORN WORTH WATCHING

[itsallgrand]

A bisexual friend of mine always used to say that guys who think 2 girls together would be really cool overlooked one potential outcome: They'd realize they didn't need HIM around to....er....get the job done.

 

WORD! .......

[Massari]

persistently tells me its okay if I want to try things with other girls...but only if he can watch.

 

 

OK watching lesbian porn is ok!! I do it also its sexy and hot haha but I WOULD NEVER WANT my gf to be in it!!! or involved with another woman, I mean it its like cheating on you only with a girl. to me this is the same as be cheated on with another man. So buttom line its ok if he enjoys watching it but wanting you to do it with another woman.. that I would be concerned about ..

 

[-X so watch out and be careful.. if he cares about you he wouldn't want to do it. I know you may not want to hear this but I can't help it, it's just wrong,

[4InchFury]

Lesbian porn is the best kind of pornography to watch, since their are no penises involved and twice as many boobs/vaginas. (I'm not gay).

 

Though personally I think you should tell your boyfriend to keep it just a fantasy, because chances are once you try lesbian sex you will become addicted to it and leave your boyfriend. It will only hurt him in the end.

[Dako]

If I liked porn, there'd be no guys in it.

I'm not into naked guys.

Yucko.

[LostInMyThoughts]

I got my technique from Ron Jeremy.

 

Plus how you gonna learn new stuff by watching two girls?

[Dako]

LOL!

 

You must be in good form, Lost.

[Deviant_Kate]

A bisexual friend of mine always used to say that guys who think 2 girls together would be really cool overlooked one potential outcome: They'd realize they didn't need HIM around to....er....get the job done.

 

That's always been my feelings on the subject. It's kind of ridiculous the way guys go nuts when they find out I have a girlfriend - you don't know how many times a guy has offered to "help out" in the bedroom. I just tell 'em "nope. We've got everything under control."

 

When people ask us who the "man" is in the relationship, I say "there is no man, that's why it works so well."

[sparkle1]

I think fantasy is fine. A lot of men i know love watching girl on girl.

 

women don't mind seeing another naked lady (generally) and we would prefer to watch porn which we can relate most to - i.e man and woman.

 

Men - don't tend to like looking at other mens * * * * *...but love vagina's.

 

It makes sense really.

 

I wouldn't worry - except on the "you can do it if you want to" thing. tell him no (if you don't want to do it). I would still clasify it as cheating!...

[Day_Walker]

As far as I am concerned girl on girl is just softcore porn, I know a lot of guys who are into, particularly guys who are into giving oral or who are on the conservative side.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

My boyfriend doesn't like the idea at all.

 

He's not homophobic, but has expressed absolute horror at the notion of girl + girl or me + another girl.

 

However, this may be linked to the fact I'm heavily bisexual and he feels as though he's more likely to lose me to a girl than a guy.

[mykeyg]

Why would a guy want to watch guy on girl when he can HAVE guy on girl himself. Porn is supposed to be exiciting and beyond the norm, that's why young boys watch it. But when you get to the age where you can participate you need something different. I do feel that menage a troises are just one big consenting cheat session. Although I've fantacised about ex girlfriends having sex with other girls, the actual idea that someone else was pleasuring her would really put me off.

[anthony06]

I have never met a guy in my life that wasnt into lesbians or bi's. I am too. I'm not attracted to them in person. but it is a turn on to watch them together in porn...its cause most guys have a mentality if one hot girl is nice, 2 is better..like the more the merrier. like saying $10 is better than $5 or something. he's totally normal...

[Massari]

 

I wouldn't worry - except on the "you can do it if you want to" thing. tell him no (if you don't want to do it). I would still clasify it as cheating!...

 

YES exactly thats what I said.. its funny no one here seemed make a point on that except me and sparkle!

[shes2smart]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparkle1

I wouldn't worry - except on the "you can do it if you want to" thing. tell him no (if you don't want to do it). I would still clasify it as cheating!...

 

YES exactly thats what I said.. its funny no one here seemed make a point on that except me and sparkle!

 

 

Well if she was interested and her bf knew about it and agreed to her participation, a lot of people wouldn't see that as cheating.

 

The really damaging part of cheating is NOT the inclusion of another person or particiaption in any specific act(s) with a person other than your SO. The thing that causes the most damage to the primary relationship and loss of trust is the lying and sneaking around that goes on.

 

Cheating, IMO, has more to do with knowledge and consent rather than specific sexual acts.

 

Simply put:

 

If your partner knows what you want to do (and with whom), and they're cool with it = not cheating (no matter what the activity is)

 

If your partner knows what you want to do, they're NOT cool with it, and you do it anyway = cheating

 

If you don't tell your partner what you want to do, there's no way they can consent = cheating

 

And that definition will cover almost every situation with any combination of persons that you can think up.

 

But since the OP has said that she's NOT interested in experimenting with another woman, it's a moot point anyway.

[Majoraslayer]

The whole lesbian thing is ALL fantasy. Personally, I wouldn't want someone I loved enough to have sex with to EVER have sex with ANYONE else, male or female, even if I knew about it. Everyone has a different view on commitment of course, but the girl-on-girl fantasy is best limited to porn.

[Dako]

My friend Steve was into watching girls do it.

He'd just watch this one couple go at it at their place. They were all friends, but they weren't into guys. He's bi but got a big kick out of it.

He quit when he got married, at least so he says.

[tinkerbelle26]

As far as I am concerned girl on girl is just softcore porn, I know a lot of guys who are into, particularly guys who are into giving oral or who are on the conservative side.

 

This is an interesting point...because it describes him. He is rather conservative and likes oral. Maybe the lesbian fantasy and porn is for technique?? Girls pleasing girls should know best about their bits right??

 

As for the idea of cheating...I agree with the other posters about thinking girl on girl is cheating. I wouldnt want him going out and hooking up with another guy. I think thats just as bad as hooking up with another girl. Its not me...and im supposed to be HIS girlfriend. Just like he is my boyfriend and i only want to be with him. I brought up that point to him, and he does not feel its cheating as long as he can watch. Then I brought up the idea that what if it was with another guy....because sex is sex....and he kinda laughed it off and said as long as there are 2 girls it doesnt matter if another guy is entering the picture. I thought that was kinda funny. I guess I find it a hard pill to swallow because I dont have any fantasies and he's thinking about me with other people....not with him.