When single how do you deal with need for affection

[annie24]

you can go and get a massage or a manicure. those may not be as good as cuddling together, but it is still physcial touch and can help you feel better.

[annie24]

oh! you guys already said massage! LOL.

 

it is true, it can make you feel close to someone and feel good. i'm sure there are a ton of massage schools in your area, they tend to have good rates.

[Belgian girl]

My friends were important to me, but I still felt lonely, especially when coming back to my empty apartment after being with them. I spent more time on campus, just to be near people. I've never cuddled or had sex, but I want someone special to be with, so even though my sex drive is making me crazy, I keep my patience (very vocally uncomfortable at times) because I know it will mean more to me to be with the guy I love. Hope for that does a lot for me.

 

Same here (but I've done cuddling and things that you can do before real sex comes)

[Ms. Babydoll]

When I used to be single I would spend a lot of time talking with my best friend and cuddling teddy bears and opening up to friends more. It really works, you feel more loved and you have a stronger connection with your friends.

[renaissancewoman101]

Thanks for your suggestions. Today I got to work with a classroom of kindergarteners for a few hours. That was fun and quite fulfilling. They were very huggy. I also went and got a haircut and got it cut real short, which took off a lot of weight and now I feel lighter. Oh well.

[annie24]

hey! sounds like a great day!

[Belgian girl]

Yes, you look quite different in contradiction with two pictures ago. Seems you're taking more care of your outside.

Nice to hear it seemed to be a good day! Keep going on!

[TheRedQueen]

My mother, sisters and doggy provide me with all the affection I could possibly need or ask for (thank god).

[GottaLetItBurn]

Practive the art or contentment.

 

I would say making new friends is the best way. Then flirting with people.

 

Give people warm smiles, and hugs, and see if it doesn't start getting returned.

[Chele]

I have a beautiful cat she gives me kisses and cuddles and talks with her meows.

 

I pray for Intimacy with the Lord God and feel his presense warmth and affection.

 

I spend time in nature where God can bless you with the love of his beautiful creatures. Birds can tweet at you and you may see creatures that respond to you with love.

 

It would be lovely to have a companion but I feel better to focus on what I have rather than not on what I don't.

[music lover 88]

Coollady, you hit the point. I want affection and cuddling and hand holding from someone. I want hugs and someone to share a bed with. It isnt easy to not have that. I had that when I was in a relationship with my ex and those are the things I miss most from a relationship.

 

Like you, I plod along, but sometimes the need for those things are just so overwhelming that I dont know what to do about it.

 

Wow, I have been feeling this need for affection ever since I my ex and I broke up about 6 months ago. I'm glad you started this thread, because even if we haven't exactly figured out how to deal with it, it helps to hear people talk about it...and it has been so incredibly hard for me these last few months too.

 

Ren, I am studying to be a teacher as well, I'm interning at a middle school right now and it helps to be around kids. They aren't "huggy" like kindergarten kids, but I receive attention and recognition which is nice.

 

The massage idea sounds really good, if I weren't having financial trouble then I'd be finding the fastest way to get one. I've never heard of the "cuddle parties," I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I think I will look into it.

[Lunabelle]

I found regular (every other week) visits with a licensed massage therapist for a full-body massage very useful at taking the edge off what I called "skin hunger."

 

Yes, this is it, right here.

 

Of course it's well proven that human beings need physical contact (besides sex I mean).

 

Just like food and air and sleep. This physical touch is a necessity.

 

I just feel better after a massage. Even if it's only 20 minutes a week. Around here I can get it for $1 a minute, and it's well worth it. Doesn't have to be full-body either, but that's great if you can afford it.

[Belgian girl]

I have a beautiful cat she gives me kisses and cuddles and talks with her meows.

 

I pray for Intimacy with the Lord God and feel his presense warmth and affection.

 

I spend time in nature where God can bless you with the love of his beautiful creatures. Birds can tweet at you and you may see creatures that respond to you with love.

 

It would be lovely to have a companion but I feel better to focus on what I have rather than not on what I don't.

 

beautifull last two alineas

[Pkittie]

Hi guys,

 

I totally relate to you ppl. I broke up with my ex two yrs back & since then no kissing hugging in my life. I'll turn 32 very soon. I'm losing it...never had neven been in casual relationships...but wonedring if lov will ever come my way...I have no family in the US...have few frens but I can't go around hugging these gals...I met a guy this sat & sun we met again. He gave me a hug at the end of the date. It felst soooooo nice but I felt shy & withdrew as he was about to kiss me. I'm so scared of getting hurt. Looks like most guys don't have that cuddling need...I guess for now I'll have to hug my huge teddy bear and sleep. Loneliness is no good...almost feels like a disease...it's surprising how many ppl r single & alone now in their 30s and 40s...and 50s...Let's hope & pray that life also brings love along the way...

[kailola]

Well...some guys have that need too, though.

 

Some nights the need for a touch, any touch, makes me want to crawl out of my skin. It drives me really crazy, up to the point I can't sleep or lie down and so I just pace around, trying to calm down.

 

In those states it helps if I rub my shoulders and my upper arms for a while. Sometimes. I read that that kind of skinrubbing triggers some endorfine release.

[EvaGina]

My Cat

my mum

my friends

my brother

[renaissancewoman101]

It's nice to see this thread resurrected. I still haven't found a satisfying way to deal with my need for affection so I just leave it alone for now and try not to think about it.

 

But watching my guinea pigs and playing with them, does give me a sense of belonging, so that helps.

[Leonhart]

Curl up into a ball and wait for morning to come.

 

Hey, may not be manly, but it works.

[Invective]

Yeah, honestly, I have experienced very tough times with this, and as a guy, I have no suggestions as to how to feel better.

 

I went for so long with no relationship, I began to barely even give a * * * * about sex, I just wanted someone to be close to me, someone to be *comfortable* being close to me and not pull away... Being a guy, no-one expects, and we're I suppose trained to not actually want another person being physically close to us. It's really hard, and yes, nights I felt my skin crawling just craving for someone to touch me

[kailola]

You described perfectly how I often feel too.