what to do when you run out of stuff to talk about!?

[Yvette84]

So, as all you long distance people know after a while the phone gets kinda...well....awkward! You know when you first meet you talk for HOURS day and night!! well after a while, when you talk EVERY single day, you kinda run out of stuff ya know? I mean you can talk about how your day went and just check in daily, but me and my BF want to talk longer!! it's just not much new happens from day to day to keep us on the phone for hours like we used to. and we know everything about each other.

In a LDR the phone is all ya got as far as quality time....so how do you make it last....????

[Rain__man]

Talk about the stuff people in love sometimes forget to ask each other... your hopes, your dreams. Beliefs in religion, dogma, other faiths, love, marriage, kids. What does the house you want to own later in life look like? It's kind of awkward to get to the "real" stuff sometimes, but you'll regret it if you never get to it

[princess81]

I am with rain on this one.

and also its not the quantity but the quality of the time that you spend on the phone.

[quietgrl]

I have a crush on 2 online male friends of mine and i never run out off things to talk about with those two men.I've know the first guy for 3 years and the 2nd guy for 2 years.

We talk about everything and we talk once a week via email or ever other week.

[Yvette84]

Talk about the stuff people in love sometimes forget to ask each other... your hopes, your dreams. Beliefs in religion, dogma, other faiths, love, marriage, kids. What does the house you want to own later in life look like? It's kind of awkward to get to the "real" stuff sometimes, but you'll regret it if you never get to it

Honestly...we have spoken about EVERY topic you mentioned! lol

[Yvette84]

I have a crush on 2 online male friends of mine and i never run out off things to talk about with those two men.I've know the first guy for 3 years and the 2nd guy for 2 years.

We talk about everything and we talk once a week via email or ever other week.

yeah, well once a week...I wouldn't run out of stuff either! Alot happens in a week! but we talk every day.

[quietgrl]

Yvette84,

 

I really feel for you because the two online men i have a crush on.I wish distance wasn't an issue.One guy lives in California(like me) but he lives 3 hours away and the 2nd guy lives in florada. I hope one day that I can met both men because email/IM/phones suck sometimes.I want a human face.

[Rain__man]

Honestly...we have spoken about EVERY topic you mentioned! lol

 

Well I'm sure you can come up with a few more Talking every day like that may be something like sex... It stays better for longer if you don't play it out. When you go without each other for a week or so (or more on occasion), you both find yourselves coming up with new ideas in your "me" time.

[El_ricko]

me and my g/f talk every day but we only talk for 15-20 min becuz i like you have ran out of stuff to talk about...but i think it makes it alot easier jus to hear the persons voice...we dont have a "meaningful" convo every time we talk someitmes its jus saying good night but maybe you should try shortening the convos until you do have something to talk about

[Honey Pumpkin]

So, as all you long distance people know after a while the phone gets kinda...well....awkward! You know when you first meet you talk for HOURS day and night!! well after a while, when you talk EVERY single day, you kinda run out of stuff ya know? I mean you can talk about how your day went and just check in daily, but me and my BF want to talk longer!! it's just not much new happens from day to day to keep us on the phone for hours like we used to. and we know everything about each other.

In a LDR the phone is all ya got as far as quality time....so how do you make it last....????

 

I'm having a 'thing' with someone LDR - which I'm rubbish at defining, but has been going on for months now. But anyway, I find that what he loves the most is when I'm random, starting conversations about things that have struck me through the day. Or when I play games. Or rant on about things.

 

I think it's harder in some senses, but there's such a lot to talk about. You don't have just one conversation about, say, politics and then it's done. You can chatter on about anything, much like you would in person.

 

Books you've read, newspaper articles that you find funny/interesting/scary, general stuff, serious stuff like rain_man mentions. I would be a bit worried if I didn't have things to talk about; what does he say when you ask him about it???? Do you meet up often in person to catch up? Maybe that wuold help you to reconnect.

 

Good luck.

[Daligal83]

My situation is like El ricko's. We talk everyday but it's not for hours, not really becuase we run out of things to say but we're both very busy and just don't have the time to be on the phone for that long. One thing that could help though is something we do when we're actually with each other in person. We play this question game. You take turns asking a question, but you have to answer it yourself first. It can be serious, something you've always wanted to know about the person, or fun. We've literally played this game for hours, it's fun!

[vandgsmom]

Absense makes the heart grow fonder...

 

Consider taking a break one day a week. A designated "me" day that you are not attatched to your phone. Whatever you do during your "me" time can be what you talk about the next convo. The movie you saw, the book you were reading, the show on TV, etc...

[Honey Pumpkin]

Daligal, the question game *is* fun - we've played that too. Ask a question, any question kind of thing. Sometimes I've used it for intimate stuff 'who was/is the love of your life', 'who was your first love', 'what was the best sex you've ever had'. Or fun stuff - 'what's your favourite book?' Or interesting stuff (to me), which is about hypotheticals and ethics. I don't know, I think it's about being willing and open to talk about anything. Rather than feel that a topic is done and dusted.

[Daligal83]

It's great because you can find out the little things about the person that you wouldn't through a typical conversation. My boyfriend and I had been friends for years, but we still learned so much through the game because we didn't know the little, personal things. And now that we're far apart, it can still work too since we're not around for all the little things.

 

Honey Pumpkin, we do all those questions too. I once asked him how many times he's been in love, and his next question was like, what's your favorite ice cream haha. And he loves the hypotheticals!

[Yvette84]

sadly I've tried that game and he says "I dunno what to ask.." lol! But I bought this book called "The book of questions" I guess I could try that, I just never did cuz I thought he'd think it was boring or something.

[Daligal83]

Use it! Send him a copy of it. I have trouble coming up with questions too, but when I do it's a really good one. Most of the time my boyfriend asks three or four questions before I come up with one. Maybe once you get the ball rolling by asking him a few questions, he'll get into it.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Ask the questions you are genuinely curious about!! Sexy ones get a pretty good response, to be honest, but the favourite ice cream/biscuit ones are hilarious. I don't know, a sample set of silly questions (completely off the top of my head):

 

If you were an animal what would you be and why?

If someone broke into your house and you could catch them, what would you do?

Do you carry a donor card? Would you NOT donate certain organs? why???

How would you tell a co-worker that they had body odour?

What's your favourite underwear? Do you have 'lucky' underwear?

What's your kinkiest fantasy?

 

I love the question game, lol!! Endlessly interesting - and they usually spark off a completely different conversation to the one you were expecting!

[Daligal83]

Those are great! I'm trying to think of ones we've done..

 

What would you do with your life if your current choice in career/education wasn't an option?

What do you like best/least about yourself?

What moment in your life are you most proud of?

What's your favorite thing about your relationship with each other?

If you could change one thing in your life that you've done, what is it and why?

 

I actually have played this game for years with my best friend, she's a pro at it. It made my day when my boyfriend suggested it because I knew they'd get along when they eventually meet.

 

Yvette, do you think your boyfriend would be open to playing with those types of questions? It might spark some thought in him and he'll come up with some of his own.

[Yvette84]

I will try it. thanx! but I mean...that's not something you can do everyday right?? I mean what do I do, he calls and I say "lets play the question game again!"??? lol

[Daligal83]

Well you can combine that with some of the other suggestions of not talking as long or as often. You can also just talk about everything that happened that day, that takes up a lot of time. Another suggestion, have a phone date. You can rent the same movie or watch a TV show together while you're on the phone. That way you don't have to talk, just make comments here and there, and it's less pressure. I know you want to talk to him for hours everyday, but maybe if you cut down that time and went out and did some fun things, it'd be another thing you can talk about!

[TheRedQueen]

I start picking my nose and drooling, this usually gets my dates really turned on.

[Yvette84]

when you meet the right person, you wouldn't even NEED to ask what your asking. Talking about everything and nothing comes naturally. Maybe you should ask if this is the right person, Sorry

Sorry but I STRONGLY disagree!!! haven't you seen what everyone else has posted??? it is hard for EVERYONE to talk to their bf/gf for hours EVERY DAY! it's just not easy. we do have great communication and stuff does come naturally for us, but at a certin point you will run out, whether the person is right for you or not.

[Daligal83]

I don't think you're being fair here. She's saying that after hours of conversation each day, she's looking for ways to find more to say. That means that everyday they have a couple of hours of great conversation. She never said she was unhappy, she just misses her boyfriend and wants to talk to him for as long as possible. Nothing is wrong with that.

[Yvette84]

I don't think you're being fair here. She's saying that after hours of conversation each day, she's looking for ways to find more to say. That means that everyday they have a couple of hours of great conversation. She never said she was unhappy, she just misses her boyfriend and wants to talk to him for as long as possible. Nothing is wrong with that.

thanx daligal, you are exactly right. That IS what I meant. And I AM VERY happy with my boyfriend belmontyboy. Plus he's so cute! today he called and was like "lets play trvial pursuit!" that kept us busy for a while!

by the way daligal you look SOOOO familiar! do you live around Sacramento??

[Daligal83]

Nope, but I wish I was lol! I'm from Western NY, but currently live in PA for school. I just have to finish this year and I get to go back to WNY!