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How Old Were You?


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How old were you when you found your love/soulmate?


I'm turning 24 in a few weeks. I thought I had found my soulmate until 2 months ago and now, after he left me hurt and broken, I have started thinking about the inevitable and necessary life after the ex...



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I was just 16 when I met my soulmate. And 18 when I learned that a "soulmate" is really just a romantic opinion.


I was left hurt and broken for a long time but I came out of it with my heart once again in one piece. Soulmates.. I don't buy it. A relationship is what you make of it. If it doesn't work out do your best to make a new one that does.

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I guess my question was more about the AGE than the idea of a soulmate.... Love, soulmate, life partner, whatever you want to call it.... How old were you?


Because at 24 I wonder if I'm late. It just seems like with so many people in this world, finding the one meant for me is less likely than winning the lottery!

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Maybe i am just an idealistic romantic, or maybe I am deluded, or maybe I have not fully accepted the reality of my breakup, but I do believe in the idea of a soulmate.


I was 18 years, 10 months when I met the man who would become my ex 14 years later. And through much of this time I thought he was my soul mate. And I still think we will be somehow connnected to each other as we each move on to the next phases of our lives...but in this intervening period as we transition from being lovers to friends, we just need to stay away from each other in order to lessen the hurt.


So in short, I think it all depends on how you define soulmate. Can a friend be a soulmate? A kindred spirit? Someone you just click with on a different level, even if you are not romatically involved?

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The concept of a "soulmate" or "the ONE" is something that causes more pressure, unrealistic expectations and misery than is necessary, IMO. I think it also causes a good number of people to stay in situations that are harmful and unhealthy...as in, "I can't leave him/her even if s/hes cheating/abusive/a deadbeat/or other undesirable trait! S/He's my soulmate!"


I believe at any given time, there are a number of people you could be compatible with, attracted to AND who would feel the same way about you. Each relationship we enter into is an opportunity to learn and grow. Sometimes you grow apart over time, sometimes you grow together. Sometimes the lessons you were supposed to learn from that particular relationship get completed and you go your separate ways.


I was involved in 3 long-term (meaning 2 or more years in duration) non-marriage relationships in my adult life before I met the guy I married. I met him when I was 37, and we got married a few weeks after my 38th birthday. My marriage is by far the sanest, happiest and healthiest relationship I have been part of. However, had I not been involved in ALL the other relationships I'd had prior to meeting my husband, there is NO WAY I could be in the relationship we have now.


While I have a very hard time imagining my life without my husband in it, I also know if that situation ever arose, I would be just fine without him, too.


If you absolutely feel the need to believe in a soulmate, I'd suggest you could find your soulmate by looking in a mirror....for that is truly the one person who will always be with you for the duration of your life.

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  • 2 weeks later...

33. I only met him this year. Our relationship is hard for others to understand, but it gives us more happiness than we ever thought possible. We have truly revolutionised each others' worlds. We are improving each other, even though we are afraid of the intensity of our feelings. We only realised recently that we handled domesticity really well, that it wasn't just a "Heathcliff and Catherine" thing. Of course, amid all the intensity, we just have an awesome awesome time, no matter what we are doing.


And I didn't really believe in the concept of soulmates until I met him. As for being with them or not being with them, I don't think it matters with soulmates, as long as you maintain the connection. Because when you love someone that much, their happiness is more important to you than yours. At least for me. I've always been self-centred so generosity is the lesson that I need to learn.


It'll happen. And I still think there is more than one soulmate for every person, although I hope that there's just MY ONE for me.

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Oh, and Soulmates are also like Claymates. We all believe they exist, but noone actually will admit seeing one.


Aaarrrrgggghhhh! Don't remind me of that whole Claymate thing. I was programming a radio station when he was on AI and those people drove me nuts!


I'm going to cower under my bed in fear now. Thanks.

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