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I'm not ready for this! :(


Ians Mommy
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I was babysitting my sister's kids today (7, 5, and 3) and I started crying in the middle of it and now I know I'm not ready to be a Mom but I love my son so much..

 

I can't stop crying because I know I'm too young for this and I'm so scared of being a mom now. I don't know what to do. I called Ian and he came home from work and he has no clue what to tell me other than that he knows I'll be a great mom.

 

Ugh I'm so scared and it's probably over nothing.

 

Stupid hormones.

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Well, honestly if I was 16 I would be scared too. I know this is so tough for you but have you considered adoption? Since you love your son so much, would you consider having a mom and dad who are in a stable family raise your son so that he can have the best of everything? You sound like you want the best for him and that is the only reason I raise the issue.

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Yes you are quite young, but you are a strong person. You can do this. You WILL be a great mom. I know that you love your baby very much already.

 

Your hormones definitely are in a delicate state right now and your emotions can be all over the place. That happens to just about every woman I know that has been pregnant, regardless of age.

 

I would imagine that baby sitting three kids that are quite young in age was a bit overwhelming for you right now.

 

You will be fine. I know you have a lot of head of you, becoming a mother at such a young age. Just realize that your feelings are pretty normal with having the concerns that you are having.

 

Take care girl !! Relax and take a day at a time. Try not to let your mind reel with what is going to happen in the days, weeks, months or even years to come. It will all fall in to place for you.

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I am in a stable relationship, engaged to the man of my dreams, and my parents are supporting me 100% so it's a stable family. I work 2 jobs right now but am going down to 1 next week and Ian works 2 jobs, both of which pay pretty good money and I make plenty of money. It's not like it's not going to be a stable home because it is.

 

I'm just scared and hormones are going crazy.

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OK. When are you getting married and why did you decide not to marry yet given your circumstances? For how long are your parents willing to financially support you? Will they be taking care of your son? Will you and Ian be able to finish high school/go to college?

 

Of course hormones can lead to mood swings - no doubt - but if you are not ready to be a mother I just wanted you to realize there are alternatives and I know you want to do what is best for your son.

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Honey I KNOW it's scary, but believe me, babysitting THREE kids is very challenging for anyone!! That does NOT mean you're going to fail at being a mother!

 

I watch my nieces and nephew all the time (7, 3, and 2) and I cannot handle it for very long. It's going to be challenging, yes, but it will be far different from watching 3 kids who aren't your own.

 

Keep your head up, you'll do fine.

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You will grow into it, girl. It's a learning process for EVERY parent, and you will be able to handle it, I am sure. I think it's just your hormones, you are 7 months now.

 

I am sure if I was pregnant, I'd feel the same way. It's new, you're responsible for a child, etc. But you're having one and not three!

 

hugs for you!

 

Ilse

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Hey there,

 

Watching three children can be stressful for anyone. I have no idea how my mom did it and my youngest brother had ADHD! Yikes. But she did it, she managed, because me and my brothers were HER babies. It is different when it is YOURS.

 

I watched my niece on several occasions and she wore me out and she is a very good girl. She is just very active, full of life and very inquisitive. So, even if the child IS good, he/she can be just as a exhausting.

 

You will be a great mom plus you have got all these hormones raging. I am sure many moms-to-be had the same fears you are having. I would have to say they are normal. Don't worry, you will be a fantastic mom.

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I've been reading all of your posts for a while, and let me say that I admire you for everything you've been through. I hope you're life turns out amazing, you of all people deserve that. I agree that it's just hormones doing this to you. Watching three kids all by yourself (who aren't your kids) is very hard. You are having ONE child, and it's YOUR child. It's completely different. With how mature you seem from your posts, how much you love this baby, how much you love Ian, how much you are willing to make this work...I know that it will work out for you. Come October you'll be a new proud parent, and while it will be scary at times, I know you'll be an amazing mother...and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! You and Ian are going to be able to give baby Ian a wonderful life, and I'm sure down the road, he'll realize how strong his parents are to have gone through all this at such a young age. I'm 4 years older than you and I know I wouldn't be able to handle it. I don't even know you and I'm so proud of you. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to have a wonderful life. This child will just add to the wonderfullness of it!!

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You will be fine. It is normal to doubt yourself as a first time mom, no matter what your age. But reading most of your posts about this, I feel that you will be FINE. You are going to do the best that you can and thats wonderful! I felt the same way when I was 19 and pregnant and I think Ive been doing okay, you will too =)

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OK. When are you getting married and why did you decide not to marry yet given your circumstances? For how long are your parents willing to financially support you? Will they be taking care of your son? Will you and Ian be able to finish high school/go to college?

We are waiting until I'm 18 to get married. Just because I'm pregnant ISN'T a reason for us to get married, it's because we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together. I'm graduating in June, a year early and Ian just graduated in June. He starts college in 2 weeks. I'm going to an alternative high school this year to get two years done in one and they're giving me 2 weeks off before I'm due and 6 weeks after the baby is born and I'm going to keep doing school via tutor.

 

 

 

I've been reading all of your posts for a while, and let me say that I admire you for everything you've been through. I hope you're life turns out amazing, you of all people deserve that. I agree that it's just hormones doing this to you. Watching three kids all by yourself (who aren't your kids) is very hard. You are having ONE child, and it's YOUR child. It's completely different. With how mature you seem from your posts, how much you love this baby, how much you love Ian, how much you are willing to make this work...I know that it will work out for you. Come October you'll be a new proud parent, and while it will be scary at times, I know you'll be an amazing mother...and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! You and Ian are going to be able to give baby Ian a wonderful life, and I'm sure down the road, he'll realize how strong his parents are to have gone through all this at such a young age. I'm 4 years older than you and I know I wouldn't be able to handle it. I don't even know you and I'm so proud of you. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to have a wonderful life. This child will just add to the wonderfullness of it!!

 

Thank you, that means a lot to me.

 

You will be fine. It is normal to doubt yourself as a first time mom, no matter what your age. But reading most of your posts about this, I feel that you will be FINE. You are going to do the best that you can and thats wonderful! I felt the same way when I was 19 and pregnant and I think Ive been doing okay, you will too =)

 

You seem like a GREAT mom to me. I just hope I can be the best mom I possibly can.

 

 

And thank you to everyone else who posted. I had a long conversation with my mom and it took away most of my fear even though I'm still scared but not nearly as bad as I was earlier.

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Oh, honey. I know it is tough right now, but YOU ARE GOING TO BE FINE.

 

In the life of EVERY mother there are terrible moments of self-doubt when it dawns on you what an awesome responsability that you now have no choice about handling. BUT in EVERY mother there is the capacity to love each child unconditionally, to nurture it emotionally and physically, and to provide it with the tools it needs to survive in the world.

You are already a mother, not any different than any other that has come before or any that will come after; and just like them, YOU CAN DO THIS.

 

I am not saying that there won't be moments when you want the earth to swallow you because you feel like such a bad mother, times that you accidently pinched the baby with its onesie buttons or forgot to change him for a couple hours and he has diaper rash or bopped his head on the door jamb walking around with him. But those times will pass, and they will get fewer and farther between as he grows. The hurts and the worrys will lessen with time and one day you will realize that a year has passed and your baby is gone; replaced with a toddler, and new worrys will begin.

 

All I can say is cherish every day, work every second you have to and spend the rest contemplating the miracle that God gave you. A mother is made to do this, and you will be a great mother.

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Darn hormones is right... When I was pregnant, I was 25, had been happily married to my husband for 5 years, was completely financially stable, owned a house, etc... I remember being in the shower when I was 6 and a half months pregnant and having this "ohmyGodI'mnotreadyforthiswhatamIgoingtodo" moment. I started crying, and freaked out for a little while thinking how in the world do I raise a child?

 

We all go through this, regardless of our circumstances. You will deal with this the best you can, just like we all do in any scary situation. You will have it harder than most, but that doesn't mean you can't handle it. YOU CAN!

 

You'll also have moments after your kid is born that make you think "Good LORD, shouldn't people have to take tests before they're allowed to take home children??" I did just the other day - I got home from the pediatrician and realized I hadn't buckled him in to his car seat - he was sitting on top of the buckle. Woops.

 

Quite honestly, the fact that you're thinking this makes me think that you're more ready than most people to have a child. It's those who think that raising a child is all good times and sunshine that need a reality check, stat. Like my little sister. (sheesh... whole nother story)

 

Good luck... and the hormones are a b****!

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Hey. Not much I can say that hasn't been said. Just to let you know - 1'm 27, no kids so far, and thought of being a mom scares me sometimes!

Perfectly normal. Seems to me that most women facing a major change to their life, a new addition of a baby, would have these thoughts at some point.

And, hormones, geez hormones can be a crazy thing.

 

But, you are amazing. You blow me away all the time with your strength and wisdom. I do admire you.

 

This little baby is so lucky. You are going to do just fine - you already are.

 

I bet a year ago you could never imagine yourself where you are now, being able to accomplish all that you have over such a short amount of time. But you did.

 

BTW: You look beautiful. Total smiles over your new photos.

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All I can say is cherish every day, work every second you have to and spend the rest contemplating the miracle that God gave you. A mother is made to do this, and you will be a great mother.

 

That just brought tears to my eyes. I know I can do this now but I'm still scared and I think EVERY mother-to-be is scared at first.

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*hugs* Hey lady, you'll be fine. Of all the moms-to-be I "know", you seem to be the most mature, responsible and sane one. You'll have some rough times, every mother does, but you'll make it through and become stronger. You already seem wise. Just remember that what happens is meant to and that even if it seems scary or bad at the time, something good will come from it.

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Hey well i have had read a few post you other post and really you do seem like a good person, when you want to know something yo ask because you want to be perfect and not fauil. You can give your child all the toys in the world but that in nothing besides just being there for your child and know they are loved, and if your there for your child like im sure you will be, that will be everything your child needs. You are strong, you will be just fine, and you will be the best mother i child could ever have

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Hey

 

I just wanted to say that, along with everyone here, I have been following your posts and I know you'll be a fantastic mum. You have shown such love for your son from your very first post about him, and as many people have already noted, love is the most important thing for your child, and baby Ian is so lucky to have both a mother and a father who love him very much. I wish you the best of luck! Make sure you post on here ASAP after the big day, there are so many people waiting to hear all about this little one of yours xoxo

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I don't think being pregnant is a reason to get married (particularly given the other alternatives out there) - if it were me- and it's just me - if I knew I wanted to marry the father I would marry him as soon as possible so that the baby would be born into a family with married and legally committed parents. And that would be both for the legal as well as the emotional/psychological benefits to the child. Again, that is just me and I am not telling you what to do nor judging your decisions or situation.

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yea I am 21 and when I found out i was pregnant I flipped. I cryed a lot. I was scared. And truth be told you have hard times ahead. People you thought would stick around ditch. You no longer "fit in" unless you have friends that are right where you are too and in thats case good for you. But its hard. You have to grow up so fast . But its worth is my daughter is 10 months now and is amazing. My husband and I got married and then a week later I was pregnant so its been a huge whirlwind . You have to learn about being married and being a parent and its very difficult. to know each others raising ideas. Communication will be a strong and very important thing in both of your lives and you need to communicate. My cousin is 14 with a baby. She has been through a lot and her to be husband left her for another girl she is raising her little one alone and yes its hard for her... but she loves her baby. Its in a womans genes I think to automatically love our kids. You'll do just fine... with love, maggie

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lol you'll do just fine.... heck.... I am scared too I have a 10 month old and my husband has been wanting another one for the past 3 months... and well in the middle of the night i guess was the only time i would consent and here I am jsut found out I am pregnant.... even though its my second I am teirrified. questions flying morning sickness killing i wish you luck

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Thanks everyone. I don't know why I got so upset yesterday but today I'm fine. It must be the stupid hormones getting to me. I've realized through everyone that posted on here and my mom that no one is ever ready to be a mom even if it's their 10th child. I'll never know what to expect and that's a good thing. I'll never be a perfect mother, and neither will any woman that ever walks this earth. I'm just going to try to be the best mom I can possibly be.

 

Thanks to everyone again.

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