Why doesn't anybody like me?

[shoong]

hi,

 

I'll give you a bot of background, I'm 29 yrs old from the UK.

 

At this point in my life my group of buddies are all getting engaged, married etc. They all have stable relationships or are successful with women.

 

I'm not. All my life up until this point I've tried to be the best person I can. I try to be cheerful, considerate & friendly. I've no physical defects & try to treat others as I would have them treat me. Two friends of mine are biggoted, selfish & have no quibbles about treating women badly, hurting their feelings, having affairs with much glee & not calling them back again. Yet the women are all over them.

 

I don't understand. Why is it that no-one finds any good qualities in me yet those who treat women poorly have constant female attention? First of all I put this down to age, but I'm 29 now & the women of a similar age still seem attracted to these guys.

 

I have failed. Part of me says that I should have been more like my flippant friends. Treat women like dirt & they come a flocking. Even when they tell each other that the blokes a no good so & so, they will still actively pursue them.

 

Why have I wasted my teen years & 20's trying to be a decent man when that's obviously not what women are after? Why am I alone? I don't come accross as desperate & I just try to be myself. So why doesn't anybody like me?

 

It would seem that women are attracted to what you have rather than what you can give. I've heard it time & time again, 'just be yourself & it will happen for you'. Absolute rubbish.

 

I've tried to treat women as equals through out my adult life. But that's not what they want is it? Have I come accross as soft because I've done this?

 

There's the also the other problem: if you're into your 30's & single you are quickly forgotten about by your hooked up friends as a singleton doesn't fit in with parties etc. And, there seems to be an attitude around if that you have not sorted something concrete by then, you are some kind of weirdo.

 

If a young lad was to ask me on how he thinks the best way to treat women is I think I'd have to say:

 

Lie, cheat, be inconsiderate & make sure you don't answer their calls. Don't attempt to come accross as a nice guy whatsoever: they'll just see you as soft & not a man.

 

Why am I alone?

 

shoong

[rose2summer]

Shoong,

You are distressed, but I think you need to think about how you are feeling. Women do not wnat a man to lie, cheat, etc, I surely don't! You may want to ask yourself, do you truly love yourself, because if you love yourself, have no exposed holes/wounds, then a women will be attracted to your self-confidence and love you too. You should love out of abundance and not to receive in return. I think your worries are deeper than you believe. I think it's a self-worth issue at hand. Why do you choose to date women who desire these "bad" guys? Why not choose a "nice" girl to date instead?

[chai714]

How are other aspects of your life besides women? How about friendships and family relationships? Are those all in check too? Also, do you have other sources of happiness such as hobbies, playing sports, working out, going to school, etc?

[ShroomzGod]

You have to treat women as equals but, you also need to show them that you are your own person. Give them the sense that you can be a strong dominate force in their life. Women want to around a exciting, fun person your friends seems to communicate that they are like this. I'd say watch how your friend act around women and take some leasons. You are a stand up guy but that doesn't necessarily mean that is what attracts women. You may have to be a little sarcastic and tease em a bit to get them attracted, then, when they see you're a stand up guy you'll have em for a long time. Good luck my man.

[Juha]

Shoong, unfortunately there are too many women jsut like you talked about...

 

They have low self esteem and are accustomed to being treated that way...

 

The amount of nice good girls is very small and trying to find them is difficult as into your 30's they are taken for the most part...

 

I understand the part about being single and all your friends not including you in their plans because you are single. They include you when it is the guys but anytime there is a dinner or party and the "couples" are invited you are forgotten...

 

DOn't let it get you down, jsut start hanging out with some single friends and don't accept anyone or anything you don't want as a gf. A fwb is not a bad thing either....

[Luke Skywalker]

Check the SEARCH features or scroll down threads in DATING sections.

 

Check out these cool sites....

 

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For starters you need to develop your game, and/or develop a game plan.

 

When you are good, you may 'out-alpha' your other jerky friends if they are competiting with you.

 

One of the propontnet of AMOG (dealing with alpha male other guys), can be found in this link here:

 

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Click on any link from Tyler Durden with AMOG on it. You can torpedo your competition.

 

Anyway, use your jerky friends as wing-men, but if they dont play along, then AMOG them and torpedo your competition.

[blemished]

I'm a nice girl and I can't find that nice guy!!! (Well, when/if I try dating again.) So you're not alone....

[wlfpack81]

Deleted by user

[Dating Coach]

Read this...

 

 

 

...does any of that sound like you? Be honest with yourself because this is the root of most of the problems guys have in dating. I once was this exact person as well.

 

In fact, this comment by you:

 

 

 

shows that this is likely the problem you have. Read the link in my sig and see if that helps open your eyes some.