His ex keeps calling my cell...

[BornToResist]

My boyfriend and I just broke up. We still keep in constant contact because I am pregnant with his kid and I'm keeping it.

 

During our relationship we had issues with his ex girlfriend. I broke up with him over that before, and I KNEW she wanted him back. I don't know what happened between them, and at this point, I really don't care. Everyone says that he's just friends with her and he will never have another relationship with her, but it still made me uncomfortable because I knew her intentions weren't honorable. He saw her this weekend and he told her that we're having a child together. Apparently she wasn't so happy with this news (duh!).

 

I had lent my cell phone to him for a couple weeks a looooooooong time ago. I knew he spoke to her on this phone. Right after I got it back I had been getting messages from her to him. Nothing big or juicy, just "hey I just wanted help with my computer," or "well I just wanted to see what's up, I'm going on vacation," blah blah blah. I told him this bugged me and then there were no more messages. However, now since she has found out about our situation, the calls started again. This is about 4-5 months after I took back the phone. I told him last time I saw him to make them stop, and he seemed very annoyed that she was calling and thought she was trying to start problems. He said he would tell her to quit it. But I just checked my messages and there was a new one from her.

 

Here's my question...

Do I call her myself? I realllly want to because I know that she hates me and she's just doing this to start problems. She KNOWS he doesn't use this phone. I would just be nice but put my foot down and just tell her he cannot be reached at this number and I would appreciate it if the calls stopped. I would be standing up to her, letting her know I'm not going to take her BS, and I would be standing up to him, because if he won't do it, I will.

 

Do I leave it for him to handle? I have told him time and time again to make it stop, but to no avail. I don't know if he's just not saying anything because he doesn't want to start problems with her or what, but he's probed to me that he cannot get this done for whatever reasons. I have told him 10+ times, I think that's enough.

 

Or do I leave it alone and just delete the messages? This way she will have absolutely NO EFFECT. I will stop telling him about the messages and just delete them immediately, since she really is nobody to me. I think it's sad that I can cause so much emotion to someone I've never met, and it would be kind of cool to relay the message that she is nothing and cannot get under my skin.

 

What do you think?

[Balbina]

It's your phone. While you may be a bit out of line demanding your boyfriend to drop any contact with her and he doesn't have to comply, you don't have to hear about it either.

 

It's your phone and especially if the messages aren't intended to you, let her know. If she wants to get a hold of him, she will. Don't torture yourself by trying not to be harsh - its your phone, let her know to stop calling because he's not there.

[CluelessGuy321]

Get a MALE FRIEND to call back on that phone to inform her that it is his phone and to stop leaving messages for ur boy on it. Have that Male Friend sound big and aggressive.

[kellbell]

"Or do I leave it alone and just delete the messages? "

 

Bingo! You are pregnant, stress in not good for you or your baby. Why put yourself and your baby through stress due to stupid high school games his ex is pulling. Be the adult, IGNORE them.

 

Better yet, perhaps changing your cell phone number.

[arwen]

Change your number? Otherwise I do like Cluelessguys option lol. Just don't get stressed out by this too much. She has no role in your life. It's about you, the baby and keeping the best contact possible given the circumstances with the baby's father.

 

Ilse

[BornToResist]

I kind of knew I should just delete them and leave the situation alone. But this girl has tried so hard to get me upset. She came by my apartment knowing my bf at that time wasn't home and left a note for him in our door, she has tried everything, calling constantly at 2am, etc. He told her before that she needed to stop, but then he kind of allowed her to continue. That's one of the many reasons we're not together. But now we are apart and she's still trying to get me going, and you know, it worked. It's hard because I always stand up for myself and will confront other girls, but I know it's not right for this situation...

 

I just feel like she's walking all over me.

[arwen]

Don't LET her. You are going to be the proud mother of a gorgeous little one, and sofar you have kept things as civil as possible with the ex. You have every reason to see yourself as a strong woman, don't let her take anything away from you, ignore her. What she does is downright pathetic.

 

Ilse

[highonyou]

how about handing the phone into the police? It looks like harassment to me and the authorities should sort it!

 

But i like the plan with an angry male mate yelling at her to leave you alone best.

[dontwantthis]

Ignore it. Dont tell your ex anything about phone calls or texts. She knows she is upsetting you and making you frustrated because your ex is telling her. She is getting satisfaction from the comments she gets asking her to stop. Ignore it all. The less satisfaction she gets, the more bored she will probably become and will hopefully stop.

[bebecole]

3 words.

 

Change

Your

Number

[BornToResist]

Ignore it. Dont tell your ex anything about phone calls or texts. She knows she is upsetting you and making you frustrated because your ex is telling her. She is getting satisfaction from the comments she gets asking her to stop. Ignore it all. The less satisfaction she gets, the more bored she will probably become and will hopefully stop.

 

It just makes me mad because she'll say something like "Oh I wanted to know if you could do this for me on so-and-so a day" and then when that day rolls around, I know what he's going to be doing. He hasn't been honest with me before, so I would bust him every time. Then he would say "oh I didn't know she wanted me to do this, I saw her at the store and she asked me and I did it on the spot, no big deal" but I KNOW he's lying. But anyways, we aren't together anymore so I can't do that. It's just going to bug me when he calls and says what he did and I know he's still keeping crap from me.

 

Why the need to lie, people?

 

So...answer...change my number. Don't play games and get caught up in their B.S...

[BornToResist]

OKAY so here's what I did. I don't know why I asked for advice, I just ended up going my own stupid way anyhow.

 

My greeting didn't used to say my name, so I changed it to say "this is MY phone, can't get to it, blah blah blah." And I wasn't going to tell my ex about the phone calls. But I did anyways. He called to tell me he was moving some stuff for one of his guy friends, and I told him I got another message from his ex, asking for his help to move some stuff for her. I told him that she really didn't matter to me and I changed my greeting so maybe she'll get the point, but he got SO MAD. He told me he was sick of her crap and she's just doing it to get me upset. He said that he tried to be cool with her and have a friendship, but she's being a stupid b$#%* about it and I shouldn't have to deal with that. I assured him I really didn't care and I don't want her to think that she can bug me, but he said "Oh no, this is going to STOP." I wouldn't want to be her right now. FINALLY he's standing up for me!!!

 

Maybe a new and improved ex boyfriend? Let's hope.

 

So thanks for the advice and I probably should have listened.

[Hope75]

Do I leave it for him to handle? I have told him time and time again to make it stop, but to no avail. I don't know if he's just not saying anything because he doesn't want to start problems with her or what, but he's probed to me that he cannot get this done for whatever reasons. I have told him 10+ times, I think that's enough.

 

You guys are broken up, you changed your message. Now, if she calls back just delete the messages. You guys are broken up at this point anyway so what they do is really their business. The only problem for you is that it is your phone. So don't let it get to you and delete the messages. If he doesn't get the messages and return her calls, pretty soon she'll get the hint that she's calling the wrong #.