How come you can never have the ONE that you want?

[CamaroJoe]

Let me start by saying that I've met a lot of girls in the past two or three months. More than I have in the past couple of years...I still have a problem picking up women at bar though, but that will come lol

n e way, there's this one girl that I would pretty much give up n e thing to be with. So marraige material. But at one point I actually had her. We hung out a couple times, made out, etc.... (no sex)...but then her mom intervened and sine she's kinda young, her mom's word i guess is kind of the law.

 

Well, it seems that I can get so many girls intersted in me. To date, have sex with, hang out, or whatever, except her. Ever since the whole 'mom' thing, she blows me of all the time. I don't call her that much and she now has a 2nd job, so she is busy.

But what am i supposed to do? I don't want to appear desperate, but this is the girl I want. If I was dating anyone at anytime, no matter how hott or awesome of a person they are, i'd drop them in a heart beat for one second with this girl. In fact i just met this extremely hott girl at my college orientation class. I mean this girl is gorgeous. eyes and smile are the first things i noticed, nice body, sweet voice, etc...and if we were together and the girl i want decided she wanted me again, i'd drop this girl in a second.

 

I don't know what to do. I've learned that if you are an * * * to girls, meaning picking on them in a funny/cocky way, that they will sleep with you in a second. But I don't want that. i just want this girl. And it seems that it doesn't work for her.

i'm really in a rut and I do not know what to do. Plus, i've been out drinking, i've flirted with a bunch of girls but my mind always comes back to her. And i'm the type of person who 'moves on', and doesn't linger on one girl. But omg, this girl is so amazing to me. What do you do? have you ever heard the song 'Shameless' by Garth Brooks...that's so me with her. She's the ONLY person in the entire world that can make my heart melt just by looking at me and smiling.

 

And i feel so much like a dork writing this cuz for real, i telll everyone that they just need to move on when they are in my state, but man....i've tried. I avoided her, ignored her, etc...i've done everything but she is just so perfect for me and I don't know what to do about it. And I can't talk to my friends about it because they'd just call me a fag and tell me to stop being such a puss. And I beileve that myself, but when you meet someone that makes everything go way behond anything physical, it just can't be explained.

And i'm guessing I'm asking if there is anyway to win her back? To get her close to me again without coming off as a desperate wussy man? I know I shouldn't say this and that no one should feel this way about someone but I can't help it but i'd do ANYTHING to have her again. it's like in the movie hitch where Albert Brenamen said "I'm not desperate for anyone...but for her, yeah." ...i know, i'm pathetic when it comes to her but i don't care. She's the most peferct women there ever was...for me.

[GottaLetItBurn]

You always want what you can't have, it's that simple.

 

When you get dumped, you want the person who dumped you. Your mind knows that even if she came back it would only become the same unfulfilling relationship you had. Your heart doesn't care, it always wants what it can't have.

 

That's sad that we are this way, but that's the way the body works. Sometimes I think about this one girl, man I want her so bad. Then I think back to the times we are hanging out, and I was bored, and we were too nervous around each other. My heart just won't let her go, but I definatly know just because she was sometimes good to me, doesn't mean she is good for me.

[CamaroJoe]

I understand you completely. We do want what we can't have. But see, we were perfect when we were doing our thing. We never got bored, we had fun. I can remember I could make her smile ALL the time by doing whatever. I can still make her smile, but it seems a little different. She's still really sweet and fun but I don't know man. I just feel pathetic for feeling like this about someone, it's never happened before.

 

I mean, i've been dumped. And i think about them for months or years. But everytime i seem to accept not being with this particular girl, something seems to happen to make me attracted to her again.

[GottaLetItBurn]

Pefect or not, a lot of relationships are perfect then go wrong. That'swhy people look back and spend months trying to figure out the why. Try to find something small that you didn't like about her. Maybe she disrespected you one time, or you put up with her some behavior from her that you wouldn't with someone else. Then imagine yourself together with her and you starting to get tired of her doing these things that you once could tolerate.

 

You have to realize the way you think of her in your mind is only an image. We all put people we miss on a pedastal. So knock her off it mentally and that will help you get her out of your head. Nothing is harder to get out of your head then a person you love and care about not being around you.

[BYOB]

I guess it's right in a way; we want what we can't have.

 

But if we can't have what we want, what should we try to get, then ?

Does that theory applies to life in general or to love/relationships ?

[friscodj]

In fact i just met this extremely hott girl at my college orientation class.

 

Bro, I have one word for you: college. Just wait...just wait...

 

This chick you met at orientation is just the tip of a very exciting iceberg...

[robowarrior]

Well i used to hear ' girls are like toilets , all the good ones are taken and the rest is dirty.

[friscodj]

Well i used to hear ' girls are like toilets , all the good ones are taken and the rest is dirty.

 

Another one I've heard is that girls are like buses, another one always comes along...

 

But yeah, wait till you get to college...you'll see...

[GottaLetItBurn]

It depends what you mean by saying the "good ones" are taken. I know a few attractive girls that have messed up lives so they try to get into serious relationships to make their life seem better. They get into something they don't really want and regret it. That is dirty.

[friscodj]

It depends what you mean by saying the "good ones" are taken. I know a few attractive girls that have messed up lives so they try to get into serious relationships to make their life seem better. They get into something they don't really want and regret it. That is dirty.

 

Excellent point. Society puts so much sotck in how someone looks it's really saddening. Someone who is externally "beautiful" is not always a "good one" to be in a relationship with...and actually from my experience anyway...the hotter some chick is the more issues she has...but that's just been my experience so don't jump all over me for that statement!

 

This point really hit home when I brought my first girlfriend home to meet my family. Everyone congratulated me on "how pretty she was". Same thing with friends, seeing them out on dates and such saying the same things. In hindsight, this chick was seriously lacking in character...another story for another day there...

 

Try not to fall into his trap...

[Haven]

Wait, so.. does this girl actually not want to be with you? Or is it just her mom telling her that she can't see you? Because at the beginning, you said it was because of her mom, but at the end you're asking how to win her back.

 

Well i used to hear ' girls are like toilets , all the good ones are taken and the rest is dirty.

Ouch?

[chigal28]

On the flip side is the statement "Men are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped."

[flower99]

I understand you completely. We do want what we can't have. But see, we were perfect when we were doing our thing. We never got bored, we had fun. I can remember I could make her smile ALL the time by doing whatever. I can still make her smile, but it seems a little different. She's still really sweet and fun but I don't know man. I just feel pathetic for feeling like this about someone, it's never happened before.

 

I mean, i've been dumped. And i think about them for months or years. But everytime i seem to accept not being with this particular girl, something seems to happen to make me attracted to her again.

 

 

Have you ever asked her what her mom said that changed things so much?

Have you ever told her how you feel?