Pregnant by a married man.

[abazarni]

Just wondering..how did you meet this guy? Did he wear a wedding ring? Did he dupe you from the beginning?

 

I was having sushi with my friend from work. He was sitting next to us alone so we started talking. We exchanged business cards. At that time I didn't have anything on my mind, so I wasnt even looking to see if he had a wedding ring. The second time we met up though, he honestly stated that he was married. I liked the honesty, most men lie, he didnt.

[Batya33]

I would stop focusing on the man and focus all your energies on how you are going to provide for the best interests of the child now that you have chosen to get pregnant in this situation. Your child deserves at least that much, in my humble opinion.

[abazarni]

It's been awhile since you posted. How is everything?

 

It has been a while since I have posted. Currently I am 23 weeks pregnant, my baby is doing well. The heavy bleeding I encountered several times was due to my placenta abrupting. I am still at risk of of it detaching completely before term but everyday the chance of my babies survival is grater. The doctor at my last visit said though that my chances are good and the baby is developing very well.

Since I got pregnant my ex boyfriend that I broke up just before I had this affair has been contacting me. I was ingnoring his phone calls and emails, because I just didnt know what to tell him. Finally one evening I wrote him back telling him that I am pregnatnt. I honestly didnt await a response but he called me early next morning. I told him the entire story, he suggested for me to have an abortion and even offered to come down to town to help me with that. I told him though that I could never kill my baby. His response amazed me he said he wished that we never parted and that he will always be there for me and my children even if we just stay friends. I couldnt believe his reaction, maybe I didnt believe that there were still good men out there. My feelings for him are stronger then ever, he is a great man that I appreciated in the past but know he is even more then that. He is a true man and his love is so strong for me, that even the fact that I am carrying another mans child is not going to break it. I feel bad that I ever got myself into this affair with a married man, but now I know the only reason I did was to forget my ex boyfriend. I also wondered why I got pregnant and why all of this happened to me, but I am starting to believe that there is a reason for everything.

I have also talked to the father of my baby. He doesnt want to fight with me anymore, and said that if I prove to him that this baby is his he will give support for this child but it will be reluctantly. Words like this just blow me away, I trully do not want this man to have anything to do with my baby. All he wanted for this child was death and still does. When I told him about the complications he was happy and is hoping I will still loose this baby. I really do not know what kind of a man he is.

[Raingate]

Hows the baby? You said earlier that you were bleeding heavily and it had happened before, did your doctor find out what was wrong? I dont want to freak you out or anything but I watched a news show on this female who was being posioned by the father of her unborn child because she refused to give it up.

 

He would come over and try to talk her into giving up the child since it would ruin his life and he didnt want his wife to know and so on. It was kinda scary, she almost lost the baby. But her doctor caught something in her blood and informed her it was some kind of cleaning supplies (like windex or something) and she caught him on tape and nows hes in jail.

 

Keep us updated k

 

 

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Edit

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Ok well I was posting when she posted that *points up* so opps, lol. I guess my whole story had no point but Im not going to edit it out.

 

Im happy to hear that your ex is supportive after all thats happened good luck!

 

Lotsa Love

Rain Gate

[Batya33]

It is always possible to get pregnant unless you are abstaining and it is common knowledge that pulling out is not an effective method of bc and neither is the sponge. I hope you get past this "victim" stage soon for the good of your child. You had the choice all along not to get involved, not to stay involved, not to risk pregnancy. Don't you want your child and future child to have a role model who takes responsibility for her actions? Please focus on what is best for your child, whether you choose to terminate the pregnancy or otherwise. Right now you don't have the time to indulge yourself with romantic notions of what could have been or what could be with this man - you gave up that luxury when you chose to risk pregnancy.

[123noone]

It is always possible to get pregnant unless you are abstaining and it is common knowledge that pulling out is not an effective method of bc and neither is the sponge. I hope you get past this "victim" stage soon for the good of your child. You had the choice all along not to get involved, not to stay involved, not to risk pregnancy. Don't you want your child and future child to have a role model who takes responsibility for her actions? Please focus on what is best for your child, whether you choose to terminate the pregnancy or otherwise. Right now you don't have the time to indulge yourself with romantic notions of what could have been or what could be with this man - you gave up that luxury when you chose to risk pregnancy.

 

I have to agree... I mean, was he talking about leaving his wife for you? Did you hope he would? If not... come on......a married man?(you will never win points on this...)...you should have/COULD HAVE been more careful, unless you sort of wanted this to happen...

[Batya33]

I have to agree... I mean, was he talking about leaving his wife for you? Did you hope he would? If not... come on......a married man?(you will never win points on this...)...you should have/COULD HAVE been more careful, unless you sort of wanted this to happen...

 

My point was for her to shift focus from victimhood and pining to creating a safe "nest" for this child - my point was not to place blame or get her to admit a mistake.

[BornToResist]

I have been following your post but haven't commented.

 

I'm so happy to hear your baby is doing well! That is so exciting.

 

As for the guy, I think you are handling it well considering your circumstance. I think it's great that you wouldn't let him intimidate you and you did what you thought was right.

 

I hope everything goes well for you and I wish you a healthy and happy remainder of your pregnancy!

[Dilly]

Hey there! I am also happy that you are working things out with your ex-boyfriend. Sometimes, they can be absolutely heroic. My ex-husband has remained a good friend to me, but we are just that, friends. He is very supportive and kind and fortunately, married. I used to feel so confused by his kindness and support that I felt obligated to be more committed. Now, as friends with the boundary of marriage, I feel our relationship is more pure.

 

I would never want anything more with my ex because ... well he is married. The vow of marriage is something I will not violate, but something that only the married can soil. I've been there though. I fell for a man in the military who told me he was single. Went head over heals for him and then, learned the ugly truth. I did leave him alone, but other girls did not. He was a playboy.

 

I'm also pregnant and may face motherhood alone. I hope you know you have us here to keep you company and that we do care about you. We all want the best for you and your baby and for your lover's wife and child. Please understand that the more women that respect the sanctity of marriage, the less likely for these creeps to crawl in the darkness and scum. Try really to understand that you're helping women like yourself by refusing to participate in the destruction of marriage.

 

I hope you are not offended, but liberated with the knowledge that your refusal to participate in these illicit affairs will in minute ways help other women have secure relationships.

[law4life]

Hi, I am more than sorry for anyone who is caught in a terrible situation. It's funny how some things can bring a true persons intention to light. I have known the guy I am pregnant by for 2 years, also he failed to tell me he was married. I did not find out until I told him I was pregnant. Also, he tells me another woman is pregnant by him, I was more than beside myself, and honestly still am. I cannot cry about it, because I put myself in this situation to begin with. I am having the baby with or without him. I already have children, however, they were born in respectful situations. This is not, and that is the hardest thing to deal with. I havnt had a good nights sleep in months. I am deeply sorry for your situation, all I can say is that we all go through something at some point in our lives that we did not want to, all we can do in these situations is be strong and stay encouraged no matter what other people do. These jerks will ger theres.

[abazarni]

I have to agree... I mean, was he talking about leaving his wife for you? Did you hope he would? If not... come on......a married man?(you will never win points on this...)...you should have/COULD HAVE been more careful, unless you sort of wanted this to happen...

 

I never wanted him to leave his wife for me. What do i need to wash his socks for and iron his shirts.

 

"Be more carefull", I thought I was being careful. I thought he would be more careful also. I will never understand why he did what he did.

[abazarni]

II think it's great that you wouldn't let him intimidate you and you did what you thought was right.

 

I thank myself everyday that I didnt have the strength to go through the abortion. Everytime I feel my baby move, its like hearing him say "Thank you Mommy for not killing me"

[123noone]

I am sorry i was a bit harsh..i find myself in a similar situation (he heard the news and ran) and I was really saying those things to myself.

I just want to have some kind of relationship with him..he wont see me, just some emails. your lucky/smart.... you seem to be done with him...how did you do that?

[abazarni]

I am sorry i was a bit harsh..i find myself in a similar situation (he heard the news and ran) and I was really saying those things to myself.

I just want to have some kind of relationship with him..he wont see me, just some emails. your lucky/smart.... you seem to be done with him...how did you do that?

 

Is he being mean and blaming you for it. Did you really want it to happen? It takes brave women to want to get pregnant, pregnancy and bringing up a child is a big life changing thing I dont think I could ever have the courage to say ok I want to take on the challenge. For me in both cases it just happened and I have to deal with it. I know its not going to be easy for me, but I also know this child will bring lots of joy in my life just like my older son does.

I believe that good communication between the parents is very important. And it takes responsible people to be able to do that. Looking at other single moms that I know, it seems that none of them have a good word to say about the childrens fathers. All I hear is constant nagging about them and it doesnt seem to matter if the child is present or not. All i believe they are doing is showing their children hate. I used to also say, if it wasnt for him I wouldnt have my son that I love more then anything. And till today when we talk I always say thank you for giving me the best gift ever. He laughs.

I know with my second child it will be the same way.

To answer your question, I think I am done with him, because I have someone else that I have been more into for a longer time. Also I always kept in mind how little my first sons father means to me but how much my son means to me.

[southerngirl]

abazarni,

 

Hey there! I see your online? How are you, we want an update! How are your doctors appointments going? When Is your due date?.. Dont forget to keep us posted we are all waiting =)

[123noone]

Oh my gosh i feel so much better. the nausea is gone and I told my mom and she didn't go crazy. She is going to help out. She wants me to move back with her and when the baby is born she will help out. I think I am getting over him (I havent seen or talked to him in a few weeks) and I want a life that has no bad stuff in it. I would rather just my baby and me happy than try to pretend to make a fake family. I really feel better and thanks for sharing you.

[MessedUpInHead]

why weren't you on the pill? did he know you weren't on the pill?

[abazarni]

abazarni,

 

Hey there! I see your online? How are you, we want an update! How are your doctors appointments going? When Is your due date?.. Dont forget to keep us posted we are all waiting =)

 

I posted an updated picture of my baby. He looks so much like my first son. But I guess babies tend to look alike. I cant believe it that I will be able to hold him in my arms soon. I went through so much and he is my little reward.

[BornToResist]

Those ultrasounds are amazing...

 

Does it cost a lot of money to get those?

[Dilly]

I agree, is that a level II? Also, when is your baby due?

[avman]

Topic closed for repeated disrespectful posts.