Should I break up with her? Please HELP!

[safeplay]

This is what happened: I meet this girl in a bar it was perfect there was only 5 people and we started talking... She was 21 I was 27 now she's 22 and I am 28. Anyway, we started dating and everything was great, the best time of my life and she felt the same. We moved in after 2 month. However, from day one these were always something that was not making any sense. Her story's, events... sometimes were questionable. She shouldn't let me see her apartment for 2 month and she always had an excuse why not. I would find things that just didn't make sense at all and she would come up with an answer that didn't make sense to me. (I'm one of those people who will question things when they don't make sense). So after 6 month dating and not thinking much of it all, we started telling each other "I love you" and I loved her more then anything in this world I would do anything... and she said the same... So shortly after that time like 2 weeks she told me that she was pregnant, but she was too young to have it... we both agreed. Here its all comes: she tells me that it may take a few weeks for her to take a pill and to have the non-surgical procedure... I didn't believe that either... anyway on night she tells me that she is going to be working late and she may get off around 11:30 pm, she didn't come home that night, I called her work the next morning and asked what time did she get off they said 9:00 pm, I was so pissed... I busted her because she told me she got sick and stayed at the motel next to her work; I find that hard to believe... The next week she told that she was invited to their employee party but I couldn't come cause it was employees only... when she comes home at 2:00 am she tells me that it wasn't an employees party at all she mixed up the dates and I could have came but she left her cell in the call and couldn't call me or get my calls 5 of them in 4 hours. Two days later I spot a hickey on her neck which she didn't know about her self. She was shocked to see it n the mirror and she tells me that I did it, I don't remember doing that, there is 10% I could have but I don't think I did. We haven't been the same since that. Also, 3 month into to our relation ship she came home around 4:30 am after work and told me that she got a flat on the highway and her cell phone died and she had to walk to next exit to get fix a flat and then drove home. I didn't believe that either. And these were a few more incidents like that. The funny thing is she does a lot of things for me... cleaning when she is home laundry... cook... she got me $400 worth of presents for my birthday and I did the same for her, it seems that she would do anything for me... Help!!!! What should I do? HELP!!!!

[Day_Walker]

if you suspect her a cheating then leave her. At the very least you dont trust her and simply because of that you shouldnt be in a relationship with a person you cannot trust.

[Cadence308]

Sounds like you know she is lying to you and to me it sounds like she's lying to you. Lying and cheating (if that's what she's doing) and she can't be honest about it, have no place in a good, healthy relationship. Not even if she helps with the housework and the laundry and buys you presents. It sounds like she was possibly living with a boyfriend when you first met and that is why she wouldn't let you see her apartment. Staying out late, not calling, not being where she says that she will be, having a hickey, etc. all sound like she's fooling around. It also sounds like she's a habitual liar. Do you want to be married to a habitual liar?

 

If not, you should break things off with her. She is causing you so much stress and you can't even trust her.

[Alpha J]

I am sorry to say this, but you may have to break up with her. Some of her comments make her seem like a habitual lier. She may need time to mature into someone who can tell the truth and in a relationship, that trust NEEDS to be there. If you suspect she is cheating (and from some of the stuff you have told us, I think she may be, but question her) then it may be time for you both to take some time off. She may be comfortable with you as "that one to fall back on" but she obviously isnt giving you the respect to be honest about what she is doing.

[friscodj]

Welcome to ENA safeplay!

 

Man, it sure sounds like this woman is either a habitual liar and/or is seeing one or more people on the side. The thing is, you don't really know someone after 2 months either. She could be a call girl for all you know...

 

So what I would do is sack up and have a confrontation. Present all your evidence and tell her you just want to know what's really going on!

 

At any rate, I'd be prepared to move out, disappear, and put this woman behind you if the talk doesn't prove positive or if she avoids it. The thing is, people like this rarely change their ways and could you stand this torture any longer?

[eyeswideopen]

She's a liar dude. I'm sorry. Cooking, cleaning, and buying you things are not reasons to stay in a relationship. They're great, but not what makes or breaks it. Here's another question.. did she ask you for the money for the procedure?

[kellbell]

Hi there,

 

I have always believed is when a person has a reason for everything or an explaination for everything, something is wrong. It sounds like your girlfriend has a reason for EVERYTHING but does a horrible job covering her tracks. If you have every reason not to trust her and truly feel she is cheating, I would leave her. Chances are, you are not going to get the truth from her if you asked for it.

 

As far as her doing things for you like she has is hardly enough, doing laundry and buying expensive gifts? She may be doing those things out of guilt. Furthermore, you need a girlfriend, not a mother.

 

Take care and good luck.

[JJRadical]

Mr.Obvious says dump her...

[safeplay]

No she dint ask for money. she never asks me for money. I thing this is only thing she is honest about.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Confront her. Give her an opportunity to come clean.

 

Give her all of that, that you just gave us. Tell her you know she's not being honest with you and that you want the truth now!

 

If she insists on covering, making excuses and lying, you've got to make a choice.

 

I understand how you feel about her and the history you share, but you should NOT accept that from anyone. Respect yourself and that will give her a reason to respect you.

[Daddy Bear]

a chronic liar--which is what i'm guessing she is, and a really bad one--is not likely to change overnight without a HUGE reason. that's why i would tell her that without a certain level of trust a relationship is stagnant and dysfunctional and you don't want that. if she doesn't fix her problems of lying and, more importantly, the apparent cheating, i would flush her and find someone more honest.

 

dude, don't let this drag on for 20 years.

[Hope75]

You mention alot of nice things that she does for you in the end of your post, but to me not one of those things makes up for the lack of trust that seems to be obvious in your relationship.

 

She is pretty young, and there is a chance that is a factor in her inconsistant stories. Perhaps she is not ready to settle down and is beginning to realize that. However, this is not an excuse to treat you poorly.

 

You have the right to be treated with kindness, honesty and respect. It is my opinion that if you do not have trust in a relationship, there is no relationship.

 

Can you honestly say that you are happy in this relationship right now?

[friscodj]

Some people are just crazy and she might very well be one of them...

[Momene]

It's not inevitable that she's cheating but it's 100% that she's not truthful. It may be some sort of "control" issue but whatever it is it isn't healthy.

 

Time for an ultimatum.

[Guarana Galrok]

Don't leave her. If you absolutely cannot take it anymore, then at least offer her the choice of the truth or losing you-that way it is fair to her and you are not just leaving her without giving her any sign or chance to reconcile.