So Confused...

[theoneandonly0708]

Why must sexual orientation be such a major thing in society today? Why can't people just accept you for who you are, there are so many Gay, Lesbian & Bisexual's in society today. So what's the big deal? I'm still confused on my sexuality. Although, I wish I could just get it off of my chest, my family is so against that and so religious I am too afraid of the consequences. As of right now, I will remain "in the closet" so to speak.

 

But, beside that point...

 

Are there any Gay/Bi/Not Sure guys in high school that are hard to notice... I mean I do know a few who are open and have the obvious signs, the lisps, the women-like actions, tight clothes, strange stride, etc.

 

But, sometimes I get the feeling that their are many more than meets the eye. I myself don't consider myself revealing those signs.

 

I have a very close guy friend who I am so under the impression that he may be Gay/Bi/Not Sure of his sexual orientation. I have talked about him in the past on these forums, but I really have the feeling he could be.

 

Although, he has a girlfriend in a completely different state who he hasn't seen since the night they met back in December. Also, they met at a wedding where they danced for about three hours and never saw each other again, they remain in contact via telephone and IM.

 

Anyways, he doesn't exactly show the signs however. He is definitely a jock, however until recently he has been so obsessed with golf, it's all he wants to do. He is also very, very religious so that also sets me aside from believing that he maybe. Depending on the situation, if something even referencing to homosexuality is brought up, he seems to never want to talk about it, asking me "Why are we talking about this?". Although, one time we were talking about a Gay guy in our school and at the time I asked "Isn't he Gay?" and he replied "So what?"... I don't know, it seems like it depends on the situation.

 

He is always, always in eye contact with me. Sometimes, it's so prolonged, you would believe he would be gay. I mean just a couple weeks ago, he just sat and stared at me in my bedroom for literally a minute with no conversation. Even after a saying something he always just does this prolonged looking into my eyes thing, I tried looking for pupil dialation but it's so hard to tell. He also always tells me he loves me in one form or another. Whether it's a straight "I love you..." or something like "I heart you..." he always manages to say that at some point when we are together.

 

It's also very hard to understand why he can sometimes be so defensive when it comes to touchy-feely situations. For example, a couple weeks ago he was over, he took a pillow off the couch that I had so I grabbed him by the wrist and arm and pulled him to get him off of it, out of no "sexual" intention I was having, he asks "Why are you touching me?"... Later that day however I was sitting in the computer chair and he was leaning over me with his knee on the chair typing on IM, and his face was so close to mine and he had no problem we were literally touching... Sometimes I wish I could just attempt to kiss him and see what happens, but I'm worried of what could happen, and what would happen from there. There are so many more things I could tell you, but I think I pretty much have written enough for this post anyways...

[robowarrior]

People cannot accept what is different from them, that is reality. Because its also quite litterary shown in the bible that ' because of their sins men turned into unnatural actions and lusted onto other men' homosexuality by religion is condemned by litterary millions of people. Even religions themselves do not accept other religions, because supposedly 'their' religion is the best.

 

Reality is that God placed all these religions on this world because everyone is on a different spiritual level, and they all act as stepping stones to a higher truth, one religion never has the right to critisize another.

 

Further more it should have been disclosed that a soul in itself has no gender, one life you are woman one life you are a man, between these transgressions if you where a woman in a previous life and in a transgression state you will still have lingering feelings for men. These feelings are quite not understood by society, but God made all these differences in the world because he wanted us to love everyone and everything.

 

In practise this is like trying to mix oil and water together, it does not work rather creates an explosive situation amongst religions, and individuals who display differences wether it be amongst their skin color or gender preference makes no difference. Because the people are unaware of these intentions, they get side tracked and will condemn homosexuality or any giving thing that differs from them.

 

So on to your guy, well because all of this it puts immens pressure and stress on any given male, displaying your homosexuality is a weakness , and will make you an outcast in society even to this day. In muslim society its absolutely unacceptable and you might be killed. In catholic its considered sin, but God accepts everyone and they will believe they can still convert you. He especially if you mention that he is from a strict religious family, will find great trouble and distress if you confront him with it.

 

Its not a good idea either because if he confesses his family life will fall apart, anyway the love you have for him is holy and you should cherish it, but if he wants to move a step he should make it on his own, and shouldn't be pressurized into any of it. You keep on looking for things with him that 'might' not even be there, he might just be an ordinairy bloke who considers you as a friend. But maby your gaysexuality is effecting him, i mean you can turn and bend it how you want it probably does show with you if he gives you the strange look.

[FoxLocke]

I think you are taking steps in the right direction.

 

If you don't feel comfortable coming out to your parents then listen to your instincts. They never lead you wrong.

 

I too come from a VERY religious background. However, the love between my mother and I trumped religion when I came out. I was very fortunate in (as alot of gay men and lesbians are not), and I hope that when you do find strength to come out your parents will love you unconditionally too...

It repulses me that people use religion, of all things, as a tool for hatred and bigotry, but I digress on that issue...

 

In response to your questions, people fear and hate what they do not understand, simple as that. And, sadly, we have a revered and ancient 2,000 year old rule book that says that who we are, and our feelings, are a sin and an abomination before God. Furthermore, in our current culture Gay people are seen as the ominous "Other" that are, covertly, attempting to destroy civilization as we know it(lol).

 

This is the reason I have abandoned Christianity, as RoboWarrior says, for a "higher Truth." I still believe in a higher power, but I believe that that power loves everyone and accepts everyone. And many people feel the same way. So don't worry, the dogmatic type zealots are just a very vocal portion of a "spiritual" populous...

 

What I would like to tell you is that you don't have to be ashamed of who you are. It wasn't your choice, and the fact that you are seeking to live your life in absolute truth is a beautiful thing. I was where you are in Highschool, only I wasted so much time trying to alter and change my sexuality. Then the day came that I said, "You know what? God made me too, and he/she/it made me the way that I am. So apparently it isn't wrong or bad...just different."

 

So trust me, you will get over all of the religious admonishments. For me they just go in one ear and out the other. I have my older brothers telling me regularly that I'm going to hell. I just tell them I'm going to have a grand old time, because I'll always have a date(seeing as, according to them, all gay people are going to hell)...

 

Now, onto your dilemma with this guy...Long story short I think he maybe struggling with a same sex attraction to you, but using Christianity as a crutch to stave it off. I know. I was there.

 

My advice is to just be a friend and keep it platonic. Falling for a guy who isn't accepting of himself is not good for him and especially not you. You'll just wind up having your heart broken.

 

A few months ago I fell really hard for a "straight" guy, and we ended up making out at my house. Longstory short it didn't pan out and I had to end our friendship...

1.) He doesn't believe he's gay(even though we made out several times, and he went down on me).

2.) He started playing the religion card with me, and I decided that I don't need a friend like that.

 

Anyway, you hang in there. It will be okay. You just have to allow your friend to discover his own truth. Don't let him make you his sexual Frankenstein(i.e. allowing him to experiment with you)...

[James005]

Hey, sounds confusing, Ive also been there. Only you can decide who you truly are. You might go through some tough times say one week your almost certain you are gay another your straight. I know confusing, but work through those feelings if one week you feel like getting off to gay stuff go ahed and the next week its straight stuff, no problem. We all have different ways of getting comfortable.

I think the reason why sexuality is a bit of a hot button issue in society is because the closeness of church and government and when they combine we have society values and such. There are churches and religions that are pro gay. Try to avoid religions that get you to blow things up (lol)

As you go on in life and see different things your view on religion and what is god might change. You also stated you are religious using cristianity as a crutch in that case you have likely read the bible and gone to church surmons, well no doubt you have found some contradictions and have found questions, thats good. Perhaps try using your faith to help you in your quest, however use caution there are many religions with hidden agendoa's stating homosexuality is a sin. Parhaps you could find a gay friendly religion and go from there.

Thing to remember is that being gay and its acceptance is relativly new, black people have been around for centuries and look how long it took for them to get the equil rights they deserve, the same goes for women, as for gay people, Society is starting to change its views but its only through education and the realization that we walk amongst you, we don't all have lisps, and we aren't all interior decorators.

Take me for examply, Im in my 20's I drive a truck, I work in Emergency services, I hate pink and I have one plant, ITS DEAD.

Take that Stereo typical socitey!

[theoneandonly0708]

Thanks for the replies, I appreciate it...

 

I really do have a gut feeling he is possibly unsure of his sexuality, but based on previous conversations which involved at least a reference to homosexuality, he suddenly changes the subject.

 

For example, yesterday we were talking online. I told him about this past weekend when my family and I went out of town. There was an incident when we went out to eat and there were a couple gay waiters that thought my dad was hot and that I was cute. Of course, my dad was flipping out, I also put the impression up that it was gross as well. Our waitress had told us that before we left. Also she said they took pictures of us on their camera phones. LOL. Anyways, I told him the whole thing and he laughed and he said like "So, when are you getting a girlfriend?" or "Anyone I like right now?". Now mind you, I was telling the story in pieces and after each piece I sent he would do a simple "Hahaha..." and then ask a question again regarding on a girlfriend or a girl I like or something...

 

This may be just me, but he seems to always avoid situations like this. It's happened in the past where in person he knew he couldn't escape it and would ask "Why are we talking about this?"... He seems so sheltered where he's so afraid to confront a situation like that, yet sometimes he will joke around like saying I was his girlfriend to his friends or something of that matter...

 

I really wish I knew how to approach a simple conversation about homosexuality, even a reference to it, without him "freaking out" or more or less avoiding the conversation...

[phantomwolff85]

There isn't a way to have the conversation if he's not ready for it. If he wants to avoid things he will. I would just try and move on and not worry about it. If something comes of it let him be the one who starts it. It'll work out better for you if you let it happen that way than vice versa more than likely.

[theoneandonly0708]

Okay, it's so hard to put this whole confusion I am having with him...

 

If he is in serious denial right now, I guess that would explain why once in a while he will say something like "Seen any hot girls?", or something along those lines... But, really theres just something about him that's different and stands out that would make you think he is easily covering his own confusion with his sexuality. Due to him being religious and all, I'm really good friends with his family but I don't know. It's hard to picture us ever having a "future" at this point due to his family, religion and all... Maybe I'm losing my mind and that he's completely straight... I sure hope not...

[theoneandonly0708]

It's very strange, sometimes I think he is beginning to avoid me other times he seems enjoying having me around.

 

Now, I'm of course not going to name names here but about two years ago when I had just first met him, he dated my sister who is slightly younger than me. He was obsessed with her, telling her he would pray for them to get married someday. My sister of course got freaked out and got rid of him when he asked if he could, *Do Something Sexual*, to her. She got rid of him.

 

At that point, I wasn't AS close to him as I am now, but I was pissed at him and we didn't talk to each other for the rest of the year. Last year we hung out a couple times before winter sports started, then I was so involved in that, we ended up not really talking AGAIN.

 

This year however was a different story we were able to hang out all year long and see each other just about everyday in school...

 

But, his personality can be so strange sometimes. One minute he seems into me the next he doesn't even look in my direction. I don't know.

 

I wish that if I had a chance I would just come out to him and get it overwith but I'm not sure if I'd like the outcome.

 

I'm just so confused to a point where I think I should just get rid of him, as it's just a waste of time at this point.

[xoxevanescencexox]

link removed.hs...

I.wasnt.sure.who.I.was.until.last.year....

link removed.mom.but.she.didnt.understand.shes..

as.well.really.religious..link removed.your.close.

friends.and.your.les/bi/gay.friends..and.see.what.they.

link removed.help.you.find.yourself..

link removed.100%

stright...

link removed.actuly.a.lesbian.and.damn.proud..link removed.

parents.can.never.know.the.truth

[xoxevanescencexox]

 

Are there any Gay/Bi/Not Sure guys in high school that are hard to notice... I mean I do know a few who are open and have the obvious signs, the lisps, the women-like actions, tight clothes, strange stride, etc.

 

.

 

 

If.you.look.really.close.more.then.about.60%..of.goth.

girls.are.eather..bi/les...and.the.rest.are.strigh...

I.know.this.because.I.am.one.but.I.stoped.and.started.

lookin.punk

But.as.for.the..rest.I.really.dont.know.what.to.look.into.

a.chick...to.see...

And.most.people.are.scared.to.show.there.ture.feelin.and.

Be.like.Im.a.lesbian.and.damn.proud.you.will.hardly.never.

see.that.because.most.of.the.time.they.dont.want.there.

friends.to.treat.them.any.diffrent.

[theoneandonly0708]

Okay, I posted another topic this past week about me coming out to him. I've made my decision and decided to just go for it. However, I was never as nervous as I was in my entire life. I brought it up very, very subtly online a few days ago that I had something I wanted to tell him. You can read an excerpt of it in the other topic about "Coming Out, So Nervous...", the last post is old too but now I'm focused more on him than on me... He did ask me if I was gay, but I denied it and told him I wanted to tell him in person.

 

Fast forwarding a few days he came over and slept over even though he had to wake up for work at six in the morning. He came over and we ate at my grandmother's house for dinner and when we were talking during dinner, I don't know if it was a coincidence but he would say the same things I would be about to say. It was so weird, and we couldn't agree more with each other we were like twins almost like he knows what I'm thinking and stuff, very strange, so of course my mind is going "Oh, this is nice, we definitely are compatible...", it happened a lot throughout the day, then when we came home, we ended up watching Titanic since he's never seen it before! (Just goes to show how sheltered he is...) By the time it was over it was around 11:30ish and he wanted to get ready for bed. So, we went upstairs and he asked me if it was okay if he took his shirt off! I was like "Sure, go for it...", he has a very nice body mind you. So it was really weird we were just standing there when he did and he was looking in my eyes dead on saying absoultely nothing, I couldn't help to look at his body and I walked very close towards him but ended up walking by him, I became way too nervous. So, then he lays on my bed, and we talk about games and stuff, then he said I have to brush my teeth (since it was too late for him to go back home and pick up his stuff), so I told him he's more than welcome to use mine. Now, I'm a health freak OCD kinda person, and I usually don't want anybody including my family using my toothbrush, etc. But, I insisted that he used it, besides I have insane oral hygiene and never get tartar, plaque or cavities. So, we were both in the bathroom and he was brushing his teeth. Then, I took out stuff to wash my face, which included a cleansing cloth recommended by my dermatologist. And he asked about why I had to use them, I told him for acne, but he's like well you don't have acne, I'm like exactly because I use these. Then he asked me if he could watch me wash my face and use the clothes and stuff, I thought that was a little strange so I laughed and asked him why but he just kind of laughed it off. I led him out of the bathroom so he wouldn't. So, I do my routine, get ready for bed and I walk in and he's on my computer looking for some girl on MySpace. He's searching, ends up not finding her. And as he looks through some of them are men and some have an orientation that say Gay or Bi, and he's like thats so gross, and he asked "Don't you think me and you should shoot all the gay people?" -- Now, I was planning on telling him that I was around this time but this caught me off guard and I was thinking if he acts this way, there's no way he'd accept me. I told him, "No, I don't think so...", and he didn't say anything. Then he brought up, "What did you have to tell me?", and immediately (insanely nervous), I said "Oh, it's nothing...", he's like "Just some stupid thing?", I'm like "Yeah.". So, then he has me set the alarm for him and he goes right on the top bunk to go to bed. I was extremely upset, so I was giving him one word answers and barely talking to him. I couldn't sleep, so then I thought - I still need to tell him so maybe I'll leave him a little note if I don't catch him waking up tomorrow. I did in fact and I was awake but pretending to be asleep when he did read it but he just stuck it on my forehead, LOL. That whole morning for me at work I felt like complete crap, I didn't want to do anything. My mind was going absolutely insane worrying about what he thought and about the night before. Then when I came home for lunch, he stopped by! I guess he had returned a hat he borrowed for work. So, I was really excited. And my dad was downstairs with us, then of course he had to bring up, "I got your Post-It, you liar...", smiling. So, I gave him a look for "Not Now..." and he stopped and we talked about work and all, and he eventually left when I had to go back to work.

 

Later, I get home get online and he's online and he starts asking me again what it was, I told him I couldn't tell him but when he asked me if I was gay again, he said "As long as your not gay, there are no problems...", I think he had a hunch I was but didn't want me to actually tell him...

 

So, then after a brief argument of why I won't tell him, I talked to him later... Here's the converstation...

 

My SN is in there, I don't feel like going through and removing it, I did however remove his for his privacy.

 

 

 

HIM (10:20:15 PM): tell me

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:20:26 PM): ?

 

HIM(10:20:30 PM): tell

 

HIM(10:20:30 PM): me

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:20:42 PM): tell you waht

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:20:43 PM): what*

 

HIM(10:20:47 PM): wat you wont tell me

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:21:16 PM): i think you know

 

HIM(10:21:22 PM): i have no idea

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:21:29 PM): oh

 

HIM (10:21:36 PM): have i said it

 

HIM(10:21:39 PM): and you denied it anyway

 

HIM(10:22:13 PM): well its kind of just creepy beacause its a reason y we cant show our love

 

HIM(10:22:17 PM): which i thought was a joke

 

HIM (10:22:20 PM): then just got weird

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:22:26 PM): ?

 

HIM(10:22:32 PM): the thing you wont tell me

 

HIM(10:22:35 PM): over im

 

HIM (10:22:44 PM): over AIM

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:22:58 PM): i was joking about the whole we cant show our love we do that all the time

 

HIM(10:23:10 PM): so wat cant you tell me

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:24:09 PM): thats the problem i cant tell you anything your too idk negative i guess?

 

HIM (10:24:29 PM): im to negative??

 

HIM(10:24:37 PM): what did i do to make you say that

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:25:25 PM): its nothing.. sometimes u just say things that push me away from wanting to tell you anything

 

HIM (10:25:52 PM): like wat?!?!?

 

HIM(10:26:30 PM): ????

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:26:42 PM): just things

 

HIM (10:26:47 PM): explain

 

HIM(10:26:50 PM): in detail

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:27:14 PM): its hard to explain

 

HIM (10:27:18 PM): no its not

 

HIM (10:27:22 PM): i got time

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:27:31 PM): its not whether u have time or not

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:27:35 PM): its whether your understand or not

 

HIM (10:27:40 PM): *my nickname*

 

HIM (10:27:42 PM): ill understand

 

HIM (10:27:50 PM): smart kid

 

HIM (10:27:51 PM): member

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:28:44 PM): i dont feel comfortable enough to a point where i can tell you and not be hated

 

HIM (10:28:54 PM): did you do somthing against me?

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:29:04 PM): absolutely not

 

HIM (10:29:09 PM): or i wont understand in a sense that i wont forgive you?

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:29:16 PM): possibly

 

HIM (10:29:21 PM): just go ahead

 

HIM (10:29:24 PM): ill forgive you

 

HIM (10:29:26 PM): dont worry about it

 

HIM (10:29:49 PM): you can tell me anything

 

HIM (10:29:52 PM): we are friends

 

HIM (10:29:57 PM): dont hesitate

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:30:04 PM): ik

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:30:09 PM): im just worried

 

HIM (10:30:15 PM): just go ahead

 

HIM (10:30:17 PM): dont be afraid

 

HIM (10:30:22 PM): ill forgive you

 

HIM (10:30:33 PM): ive never not forgivin somebody

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:31:08 PM): ik

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:31:33 PM): but your the only person ive ever brought this up about, the only person, not my family, close friends, nobody else

 

HIM (10:31:48 PM): so y stop now??

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:31:56 PM): i feel i trust you, yet i feel like the outcome will be bad

 

HIM (10:32:02 PM): no it wont

 

HIM (10:32:08 PM): dont worry

 

HIM (10:32:12 PM): you got to let it out

 

HIM (10:32:15 PM): or it will eat you up

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:32:29 PM): believe me its been eating me up insanely

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:32:49 PM): and its not like i can help it

 

HIM (10:33:06 PM): you can

 

HIM (10:33:07 PM): just let it out

 

HIM (10:33:08 PM): right now

 

HIM (10:33:10 PM): 1

 

HIM (10:33:11 PM): 2

 

HIM (10:33:12 PM): 3

 

HIM (10:33:14 PM): gO!

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:33:54 PM): idk im worried i wont be able to trust you to not tell a single soul

 

HIM (10:34:09 PM): *my nickname*

 

HIM (10:34:13 PM): you dont even need to worry about that

 

HIM (10:34:15 PM): come on now

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:35:04 PM): its just that when i want to tell you this bomb of questions in my head explodes, questions of consequences if i were to tell anybody

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:35:20 PM): and its not like this was a choice for me

 

HIM (10:35:43 PM): so this was just put upon you

 

HIM (10:36:03 PM): are you in some conspiracy or somtin

 

HIM (10:36:03 PM): haha

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:36:10 PM): no

 

HIM (10:36:28 PM): so this wasnt just put on you

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:36:34 PM): it was

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:36:40 PM): or at least i think it wasz

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:36:42 PM): was*

 

HIM (10:36:47 PM): have somtin to do with the computer

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:36:55 PM): no

 

HIM (10:37:00 PM): wat does it have to do with

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:37:04 PM): me

 

HIM (10:37:08 PM): awt about you

 

HIM (10:37:11 PM): wat**

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:38:43 PM): i really overall have a pretty good life, i stay out of trouble, i absolutely hate drugs, smoking and alcohol, i always put my family and friends first, im willing to do anything for anybody in times of need, and i think i do the right thing and make the right choices

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:39:01 PM): as my grandpa always tells me "i have a good head on my shouldersr"

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:39:05 PM): shoulders*

 

HIM (10:39:14 PM): .....

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:41:18 PM): but i've always known there was something "wrong" with me as far as i can remember and i dont remember doing anything or choosing anything to be who i am, but the problem is, society is so strerotypical that they label it as "wrong" even though its something i cannot help, or change though ive wanted to its imppossible

 

HIM (10:41:54 PM): ...

 

macCarOne489 07 (10:42:24 PM): you dont understand how nerve-wrecking this is for me to tell you this

 

HIM (10:42:31 PM): if it that your gay

 

HIM (10:42:35 PM): i dont want to hear it....

 

HIM (10:42:38 PM): anything else is fine

 

HIM (10:43:06 PM): its**

 

HIM (10:43:20 PM): ....

 

HIM (10:44:20 PM): .......................

 

HIM (10:45:02 PM): *nickname*

 

HIM (10:45:32 PM): whered you go

 

HIM (10:46:18 PM): ???????????????

 

HIM (10:47:24 PM): helloooooo

 

HIM (10:49:08 PM): fine just leave

 

HIM (10:53:20 PM): ??

 

HIM (11:02:59 PM): mac

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:03:56 PM): im exhausted and very upset right now i think i might just go to bed

 

HIM (11:04:05 PM): upset?

 

HIM (11:04:06 PM): y

 

HIM (11:04:17 PM): ??

 

HIM (11:04:20 PM): did i do somtin

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:04:47 PM): you dont understand and you dont want to even try to understand

 

HIM (11:04:59 PM): well i cant try

 

HIM (11:05:01 PM): if you dotn tell me

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:06:24 PM): by the looks of this conversation i think you care more about what a person is than who a person is

 

HIM (11:06:47 PM): huh?

 

HIM (11:07:08 PM): just tell me your not gay

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:08:03 PM): why exactly do u keep asking that if im gay?

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:08:05 PM): do i act gay?

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:08:08 PM): do i look gay?

 

HIM (11:08:08 PM): no

 

HIM (11:08:12 PM): cuz

 

HIM (11:08:19 PM): you keep saying all this stuff about who you are

 

HIM (11:08:28 PM): kind of scared me for a second

 

HIM (11:08:32 PM): so tell me!!!!

 

HIM (11:08:39 PM): im very excited

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:10:22 PM): omg exactly what i just said, even if i was gay you would be scared of me? is that it? so you do look at a person of what they are rather than who they are just what i thought

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:10:28 PM): ill ttyl

 

HIM (11:11:08 PM): ok?

 

 

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Auto Response from macCarOne489 07 (11:11:08 PM): in the worst mood of my life... going straight to bed...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

HIM (11:11:13 PM): god

 

HIM (11:11:15 PM): dont pms

 

HIM (11:21:50 PM): hi mac

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:22:35 PM): what

 

HIM (11:22:42 PM): saying hi

 

HIM (11:22:46 PM): to *nickname*

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:22:58 PM): ok

 

HIM (11:23:35 PM): bad mood still

 

HIM (11:23:36 PM): my fault?

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:24:03 PM): * * * do u think

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:24:18 PM): i think its mine, i should have never had broughten this up ever in the first place

 

HIM (11:24:28 PM): k

 

HIM (11:24:35 PM): it wont be such a big deal

 

HIM (11:24:37 PM): just pray about it

 

HIM (11:24:39 PM): itll be fine

 

HIM (11:24:53 PM): you being stressed about it is you telling God that he has no idea wat he is doing

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:25:18 PM): i've prayed my whole life

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:25:32 PM): to understand : why me?

 

HIM (11:25:39 PM): tell me!

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:25:55 PM): you blew it *hisname* and i will not do such a thing

 

HIM (11:26:01 PM): i blew it

 

HIM (11:26:07 PM): well sweet

 

HIM (11:26:13 PM): i see wat you think ofme

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:26:31 PM): um right its not what i think about you

 

HIM (11:26:42 PM): well obviously it is if you wont tell me

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:26:52 PM): its because you wont let me

 

HIM (11:26:58 PM): im letting you

 

HIM (11:27:02 PM): go a freakin head

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:27:07 PM): no your not

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:27:14 PM): i know your not

 

HIM (11:27:30 PM): go ahead

 

HIM (11:27:32 PM): righ tnow

 

HIM (11:27:35 PM): im not stopping you

 

HIM (11:27:45 PM): your stopping yourself with these excuses of y not to tell me

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:28:38 PM): that maybe part of it

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:29:03 PM): but your not letting me

 

HIM (11:29:12 PM): EXCUSE^^

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:29:53 PM): i need to make excuses because your making me extremely uncomfortable everytime i try to tell you

 

HIM (11:30:02 PM): im sitting here

 

HIM (11:30:04 PM): waiting

 

HIM (11:30:16 PM): im not trying to make uncomfortable

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:30:57 PM): well some things u say make me uncomfortable

 

HIM (11:31:08 PM): k sorry

 

HIM (11:31:11 PM): at your house

 

HIM (11:31:12 PM): or online

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:31:19 PM): both

 

HIM (11:31:22 PM): really

 

HIM (11:31:25 PM): wat do i say at your house?

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:31:26 PM): mostly online

 

HIM (11:31:36 PM): wat did i say at your house?

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:32:01 PM): it was minor, but its what completely shut me down from telling you last night

 

HIM (11:32:11 PM): wat was it?!?!?!

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:32:39 PM): if i told you it would give it away

 

HIM (11:32:55 PM): no

 

HIM (11:32:59 PM): wat did i say

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:33:35 PM): you probably thought nothing of it

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:34:05 PM): but it was in question format and i disagreed

 

HIM (11:34:18 PM): during movie

 

HIM (11:34:22 PM): or just before bed

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:35:07 PM): figure it out on your own

 

HIM (11:35:19 PM): the can i take off my shirt question

 

HIM (11:35:20 PM): haha

 

HIM (11:35:21 PM): KIDDING

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:35:36 PM): well i didnt disagree to that so obviously not

 

HIM (11:35:45 PM): ummm

 

HIM (11:35:50 PM): giving me your password?

 

HIM (11:35:51 PM): haha

 

HIM (11:36:42 PM): you did disagree with that

 

HIM (11:36:43 PM): haha

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:37:00 PM): why would i make a big deal about a password

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:37:01 PM): seriously

 

HIM (11:37:09 PM): idk

 

HIM (11:37:23 PM): good question

 

HIM (11:37:30 PM): idk....you dont disagree with many things i say

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:37:46 PM): alright so i guess you didnt remember scratch that then

 

HIM (11:37:58 PM): was it about your sis?

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:38:02 PM): no

 

HIM (11:38:14 PM): k good

 

HIM (11:39:10 PM): wat were you doing in the bathroom for so long?

 

HIM (11:39:17 PM): showering

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:39:17 PM): omg

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:39:20 PM): WASHING MY FACE

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:39:24 PM): BRUSHING MY TEETH

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:39:33 PM): I HAVE TO WASH MY FACE WITH SOAP THEN THAT PAD

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:39:40 PM): THEN I HAVE TO PUT THIS STUPID MEDICINE ON

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:39:42 PM): thats what i did

 

HIM (11:39:52 PM): well i thought you were showering

 

HIM (11:39:54 PM): thats y i asked

 

HIM (11:40:19 PM): you disagreed with me going to work

 

HIM (11:40:20 PM): in morning

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:40:40 PM): that wasnt it

 

HIM (11:41:03 PM): ...i really dont feel like playing guessing game anymore

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:41:14 PM): its unfortunate that i have to

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:41:16 PM): im no trying to

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:41:22 PM): but your basically making the game for yourself

 

HIM (11:41:26 PM): well

 

HIM (11:41:29 PM): cuz you wont tell me!!!

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:42:31 PM): i know for a fact that if i told you based on how you are, you would never talk to me again, not want to have anything to do with me, and our friendship would disintegrate

 

HIM (11:42:48 PM): as long as your not gay

 

HIM (11:42:50 PM): i wotn care

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:44:08 PM): okay so apprantly you think i am?

 

HIM (11:44:23 PM): no

 

HIM (11:44:24 PM): i dont

 

HIM (11:44:29 PM): thing you are gay

 

HIM (11:44:38 PM): but tell me please

 

HIM (11:44:43 PM): im getting kind of annoyed

 

HIM (11:44:50 PM): and that takes alot for me to get annoyed

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:45:39 PM): i have a question, for the reason why you keep asking me if im gay, why would it matter to you if i was? you would actually destroy a friendship over sexual orientation? thats pretty low of you i think

 

HIM (11:45:56 PM): no

 

HIM 11:45:59 PM): mike steeves is gay

 

HIM (11:46:03 PM): im still his best friend

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:46:32 PM): that makes no sense you just said "as long as your not gay, i wont care"

 

HIM (11:46:54 PM): well....i dont want mac pauly to be gay

 

HIM (11:47:19 PM): cuz

 

HIM (11:47:22 PM): you need a gf

 

HIM (11:47:24 PM): and gf are good

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:48:11 PM): not for nothing but do you think that gay people want to be the way they are? did you not want mike steeves to be gay at one point?

 

HIM (11:48:25 PM): of course

 

HIM (11:48:31 PM): and being gay is your decision

 

HIM (11:48:53 PM): its mostly from lust and the devil is in process of destroying you....etc. etc.

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:49:03 PM): oh so basically someone can go "okay, i want to be gay today" and their gay??

 

HIM (11:49:10 PM): no

 

HIM (11:49:16 PM): they can lust at anything

 

HIM (11:49:18 PM): and its sin

 

HIM (11:49:24 PM): and the more you sin

 

HIM (11:49:30 PM): farther away from god you get

 

HIM (11:49:38 PM): and begin to destroy self

 

HIM (11:49:42 PM): pretty simple concept

 

HIM (11:49:49 PM): but the world makes many excuses for that stuff

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:49:55 PM): dont play the religion card with me

 

HIM (11:50:10 PM): its not a card mac

 

HIM (11:50:12 PM): its the truth

 

HIM (11:50:24 PM): i would hope you want to hear the truth

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:51:09 PM): i always want to hear the truth, but i am far from the idea that people decide to be gay

 

HIM (11:51:17 PM): WOAH

 

HIM (11:51:29 PM): def. a decision

 

HIM (11:51:35 PM): its sin

 

HIM (11:51:38 PM): just like stealin

 

HIM (11:51:41 PM): lying

 

HIM (11:51:43 PM): so on so forth

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:51:43 PM): um how is it a decision? explain it to me really

 

HIM (11:51:55 PM): a decision to lust after your own sex

 

HIM (11:52:00 PM): its a sin

 

HIM (11:52:04 PM): simple as that

 

HIM (11:52:49 PM): and when you sin more and more you get farther from God and allow the devil to enter your heart and if you dont repent or have Jesus in your heart in the first place then you will destroy yourself and the devil would have completed his mission

 

HIM (11:53:06 PM): dont know how else to explain

 

HIM (11:53:09 PM): its pretty simple

 

HIM (11:53:55 PM): .....i must go though

 

HIM (11:53:57 PM): bed time

 

HIM (11:53:59 PM): night mac

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:54:15 PM): bye

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:56:30 PM): i thought u were leaving

 

HIM (11:56:36 PM): i am

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Auto Response from macCarOne489 07 (11:56:36 PM): in the worst mood of my life... going straight to bed...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

HIM (11:56:38 PM): you want me to?

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:57:01 PM): i dont want you to but you said "you must go"

 

HIM (11:57:15 PM): ...I DID.....sorry....saying bye to my cuzin

 

HIM (11:57:37 PM): later dater.......say hello to family for me and tell your mother i may get my lasagna somtime tomorrow if its not gone!

 

HIM (11:57:38 PM): byeee!

 

macCarOne489 07 (11:57:49 PM): bye

 

 

 

Sorry for the length, but just so much went on, I had to put it all in... PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS, IT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH!

[theoneandonly0708]

Can anybody help me with this? It's driving me crazy, again, sorry for the length...

[D.O.R.K]

your friend here doesn't sound to bright here.. I mean you have given him so many hints and he still can't get it! I say educate him on being gay then tell him, try to get him to understand... good luck

[Lykke 32]

Well, I can easily tell, that this situation is really bothering you....

 

You are writting about a lot of those suspisious details in his behaviour, you want desperately us to say: yes, he is definitely gay. But we can´t decide that for you. If he is gay, then he is not opened about it, sending mixed signals, morover pretending being homophobic. OR he is just a straight guy, for whome being gay is acutally gross..... I think, that your story can go both directions....

 

You are stuck now, because you dont´t know whether to tell him or not. Sit down and think carefully throught, what the outcome of telling him could be and if you are ready to deal with all, what might happen.

 

You wanna come out to him. Are you ready to come out to your family and friends? If you think about the worst possibility (he is homophobic and not a good friend), he might be outing you to them.

 

Another thing to your consideration should be the friendship of you two. You must know, that telling him, that you are gay, might change your relationship. If he is a true friend, it shouldn´t, but if he is homophobic, he might distant himself from you.

 

You have a crush on him. You know, what they say: if you treasure the friendship, you should supresse your feelings and keep the friendship.... Well, I don´t believe in that. If you love someone, you want love in return.... Friendship is not enought. That´s my personal opinion and my personal experience. I´ve spent one whole year myself on that mission-friendship-impossible with no success... Unrequited love sucks anyway and it sucks even more, if you are in regular contact. Maybe the friendship is possible later, when you are totally over him, but that requires no contact for some time for sure....

 

If you are not gonna tell him now, it´s gonna be bothering you even more with time. You end up wondering and stuck in "What if....". You should tell him now. You came so far on the way to tell him anyway, so just spit it out. See, what happens, and go from there. At least it´s gonna be some development.... Now, as you say yourself, it´s driving you crazy, and it´s not gonna be any better, if you not tell him...

 

 

How old are you two? It´s only the whole speech about "devil to enter your heart and being gay is a choice and it´s a sin...." It sounds strange to me, but I guess, it´s because I come from not religious family and people around me are not homophobic at all. But anyway, it´s 21. st century.... Does anybody else think, it´s strange reply from a young guy? Or is it just me.....

 

Anyway, good luck, I hope it helps a bit.

[theoneandonly0708]

I do find that strange why he said that and I disagree with him as you could probably tell. If I could explain in greater detail how he is with me in person he can really appear to be gay sometimes. My sister and my father both think he is because the way he is in person. However, he is also homophobic at the same time, well maybe not completely since he does have another "best friend" who is gay he says. But he really is using his religion when it comes to that if you have probably noticed. I could not disagree with him more on what he said. I think he has to have an idea that I am, but doesn't want it to be true for some reason? As you might have read throughout this thread he does have girlfriend in a completely different state who he visits like once every six months. He is a very good-looking kid, I'm not sure how he is keeping that relationship going but it's not any of my business. We are both seventeen, and he goes to one of the churches that are unlike most catholic churches, they don't do communion, palm sunday, etc. He goes to church on halloween, I do the exact opposite and I am catholic. Lately, I've been fine that I think I subtly let him know that I could be gay, I don't know. At this point, I really can't waste my life and time over trying to figure out if he's gay. Although so many people think so in person...

[theoneandonly0708]

This especially bothered me...

 

HIM (11:49:16 PM): they can lust at anything

HIM (11:49:18 PM): and its sin

HIM (11:49:24 PM): and the more you sin

HIM (11:49:30 PM): farther away from god you get

HIM (11:49:38 PM): and begin to destroy self

HIM (11:49:42 PM): pretty simple concept

HIM (11:49:49 PM): but the world makes many excuses for that stuff

 

???

[berzerk]

HIM = bullcrap

[theoneandonly0708]

I haven't talked to him all weekend long, and now he has soccer try-outs this week for school so it will probably be a while until we see each other again...

[theoneandonly0708]

Okay, I've come to a conclusion where I'm not going to tell him, if he's that fragile and uses religion * * * *, I'm not going to bother, though I'm sure he'd be friends with me still, I don't care anymore. He has a girlfriend, although the signs are there maybe he's just straight and I've wasted about a year trying to figure it out with him... Anyways, here's our converstation this afternoon...

 

HIM (4:26:18 PM): hey mac

macCarOne489 07 (4:26:30 PM): hey

HIM (4:26:35 PM): is your sis home

HIM (4:26:44 PM): i just wanted to know if she needed rides from school

HIM (4:26:47 PM): from soccer i meant

macCarOne489 07 (4:26:50 PM): yeah shes home

HIM (4:26:52 PM): k

HIM (4:26:54 PM): can you ask

HIM (4:26:59 PM): so your mom doesnt have to go pick her up

macCarOne489 07 (4:27:14 PM): well my grandpa does but sure ill ask

macCarOne489 07 (4:28:17 PM): she said she doesnt care, she'll talk to my mom when she gets home

HIM (4:28:49 PM): k

HIM (4:28:51 PM): thank you mac

HIM (4:28:56 PM): i just figured it be easier

HIM (4:29:00 PM): since it like

HIM (4:29:03 PM): 10 seconds out of way

macCarOne489 07 (4:29:08 PM): yeah

HIM (4:29:24 PM): k

HIM (4:32:43 PM): so hows life

macCarOne489 07 (4:32:47 PM): pretty good

HIM (4:35:38 PM): good good

HIM (4:35:42 PM): so your not going to tell me?

macCarOne489 07 (4:36:04 PM): just let it go i dont want to anymore

HIM (4:36:18 PM): fine

HIM (4:36:25 PM): so you expect me to forget about it

HIM (4:36:34 PM): and just know that somethings wrong with you

HIM (4:41:13 PM): k

HIM (4:43:37 PM): hi

macCarOne489 07 (4:43:42 PM): hi

macCarOne489 07 (5:03:04 PM): i may not have to work tomorrow cuz my dads getting his tooth pulled haha

HIM (5:03:38 PM): sweet

macCarOne489 07 (5:03:47 PM): it sure is

HIM (5:04:44 PM): tell your dad im praying for him

macCarOne489 07 (5:04:55 PM): lol im sure he'll be fine

HIM (5:05:49 PM): k

macCarOne489 07 (5:06:24 PM): yeah

macCarOne489 07 (5:07:15 PM): i went on a cleaning frenzy yesterday in my room haha

HIM (5:07:31 PM): sweet!!

macCarOne489 07 (5:08:04 PM): everything is perfect, not a speck of dust, perfect

macCarOne489 07 (5:08:05 PM): lol

HIM (5:08:10 PM): woah

macCarOne489 07 (5:08:26 PM): well maybe theres a speck but

HIM (5:08:35 PM): haha

macCarOne489 07 (5:08:55 PM): so did you get my text messages this weekend

HIM (5:09:01 PM): i did

macCarOne489 07 (5:09:13 PM): well thats good

macCarOne489 07 (5:09:20 PM): at least i know now that i got through to you

macCarOne489 07 (5:09:42 PM): but your afraid to lose 10 cents which is kinda depressing

HIM (5:10:03 PM): yes

HIM (5:10:31 PM): it is

macCarOne489 07 (5:10:51 PM): ok we can drop the "one-word response" attitude just because i told you to drop what i wanted to tell you about

HIM (5:12:04 PM): no

HIM (5:12:09 PM): im trying to talk on fone

HIM (5:12:10 PM): and get off

HIM (5:12:14 PM): cuzi need to take shower

HIM (5:12:41 PM): BYE mac

HIM (5:12:43 PM): LOVE LOVE LOVE

macCarOne489 07 (5:12:47 PM): goodbye

[theoneandonly0708]

I had so many oppurtunites (he slept over last night) to tell him, but I just couldn't something is blocking me, I'm to worried about what might happen, for some reason when I see him in person, I get quiet and just hide it. I don't want to though, it's just all so confusing because he looks at me like he's into me, but yet he has a girlfriend in a different state, he was close to me a few times, but, I don't know. He's way too mysterious, I think I'm starting to just waste my time with him, should I even be involved with him, I need to just let this crush dissipate, as it kind of did because I wasn't too excited for him to come over yesterday. We are so alike on so many levels we like the same things, we ordered pretty much the same exact thing for dinner when we went out with my family even my sister said out loud, you too are so alike, your like lovers. He just looked at her and made a face and didn't say anything. What is blocking me from telling him! Sometimes I wish I could just kiss him because we get so close and that would end my problems with having to tell him and figure him out. I just want to get over him now, I feel like I'm wasting my life away being so into him, if he didn't have girlfriend, I would think differently, but I don't know... So confusing... I feel like I'll never meet another guy who is just like me ever again, and I'm worried that after our upcoming senior year, I won't see him again for the rest of my life, and I'd hate for that to happen. I did type out a two page letter explaining myself to him, but I feel like that's too corny, I want to do it in person, but whenever I get the oppurtunity, I don't take a chance...

[seksiidan]

err >_> hello o.o kind of my first post >_> but yeaaaa heh. when he talked about lusting and how its sinful that anything u lust for is a sin. don't straight people lust for the opposite sex as well? and you can't say oh that's different it's love because what is the difference between straight love and gay love? ionoo honestlyy i kind of think you should just tell him. you're just hurting yourself over something you shouldn't be you seem like a nice guy, if he's truly your friend then he'll understand. from the looks of it he kind of just seems to be in denial toward the idea that you might be gay because it isn't that hard to put 2 and 2 together to figure out what your hinting. he seems to really obsess over the fact that you can't be gay kind of makes me curious as to why but ehh iono. as far as all the stuff you notice about it, i'd be careful because some people do things unconsciously (is that how you spell it? >_>) and sometimes its all unintentional but you let your own feelings cloud your judgement and see it the way you hope or wish it to be. Also, what are you looking for in the outcome anyways? acceptance, or the fact that he might feel the same way? 'cause at this moment i think you should just worry about getting it out and see how things go from there. relationship is the least of your worries, you have a great friendship in your hands and you should try to keep that? iono im starting to ramble on about stuff right.. hope i helped some what xD

[theoneandonly0708]

Maybe, next time we hang out or something. But, I just have a hard time bringing stuff like this up with him, he can sometimes be very open with me, and other times be very on the defense. I'm too into him I think, and I don't want to be anymore. I mean, it's very possible he is gay or bi, if you look at my other topic which I wish I could just merge with this one, I talk about him more and all these signs on the way he acts towards me... But aside from that, I may tell him, but I just need some type of "jumpstart" for the conversation if he doesn't bring it up again... I don't know... BTW, that is my screen name in that conversation, feel free to IM me on this whole ordeal, it's much easier than typing out long things like this on forums...

[seksiidan]

yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i read your other posts as well lols. i've been in this forum for the past 2 days? O.o and finally decided to join today cause i was pulled into your story and i don't know lol x.<. and you do seem like pretty much into him i don know though. if he as of a good friend to say then im sure things will go fine. far the whole whether gay or bi thing think should stop thinking about his orientation focus more on your own in telling one step at time what mean friendship over relationship first would>

[theoneandonly0708]

Well over the past two weeks he's been over my house about 5-6 times, and he keeps revealing those signs that he maybe into me, maybe bi, maybe gay, but at the same time he can reveal signs that throw you off that he's more than likely straight.

 

For instance, I'm not going to type everything, because I can't remember everything, but...

 

There's this one song on the show, "The Hills", and it's a girl song, my sister watches that show and I've heard it before. Anyways, he came over for the day not sleeping over and we were downstairs. My sister played that song from the main show open and he started singing it, and I looked at him, and then he's said I know all the words to this song, me and my cousin were singing it in high pitch voices and everything. I'm like okay.

 

Also, one of my other friends was working for dad, which I was too, and we had him over to eat at my grandma's house and then he went home. Anyways, I was joking around talking to "HIM", saying, oh why don't you stop over like you did last time after your doctor's appointment. And he said, I will if you want me too, but I had an away message up that said "Here With Mike", Mike is the other kid that was working for us and had dinner with us. And then he says "Or you can be with Mike..." and didn't talk to me for like rest of the night. I was like wow.

 

He also managed to pull my pants down, "panzing" me or whatever when i was standing, not my boxers or anything, but I was just like whatever.

 

So, just last today he was over spending the night and left this morning. Last night he was on the phone with his girlfriend like always and stuff, and then Mike called me cell and was asking about work and stuff, it was only like a two minute conversation. Anyways, I hung up, and I said "That was my girlfriend." And HE FLIPPED OUT, he was like WHAT?!, and I was like JUST KIDDING! And he's like Thank God, you scared me for a second and he was telling his girlfriend and stuff that I pulled one on him, but his reaction was like insane. Then he says, "MY NICKNAME, DOESN'T NEED A GIRLFRIEND, HE NEEDS TO STAY SINGLE...", that made me wonder. Why would he want me to stay single?

 

He always manages to sit RIGHT next to me in the living room when there are like 3 other couches. And he always has his head tilted towards my side when we are watching movies. And of course he still does that looking me in the eyes thing.

 

His girlfriend even thought that either I or HE was gay because I guess she read the text messages I sent a long time ago that said "I love you...", because he always does them to me, but he just told me this like last night. That would mean he would have saved them I would think because anytime I texted him he was here, not in MI with his GF, if I remember correctly, I don't know.

 

I have a major crush on him and I don't know what to do. He's so perfect, yet so mysterious. A lot of people I ask think he maybe gay or at least bi.

[WhyteSkaii]

Wait, i thought he said that you should get a girlfriend. He said it's a good thing. lol either he's sending mixed messages or was joking but you should of called him on it. lol