Terrible Luck?

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Do any of you get the feeling that no matter how hard you try to find someone or meet someone or even engage in a conversation with someon you find interesting, that you have terrible luck. Like something is out of your control and no matter what you do, you're not going to get any breaks?

[Beyondthesea]

Actually no. I highly believe that we are the masters of our destiny, the planner in our own private universe. We can choose to 'take over' a situation and turn it in our favor, provided the stars are aligned So I am thinking the stars weren't aligned for the last person you talked to

 

Of course there are times when akward things come about, but for the most part, we can try hard to 'fix' a sticky situation.

 

The right one will come along

[kellbell]

You know, that is tricky because I believe in luck to some extent. Like hitting the jackpot or something like that. But I think mostly because the odds were in your favor.

 

But meeting the right person...it is TIMING! I truly believe that. Someone told me that in the past and I too, scoffed at him, but it is true. I do not believe in coinicidence, I believe everything that happens in a person's life, happens for a reason...good AND bad.

[shes2smart]

But meeting the right person...it is TIMING! I truly believe that. Someone told me that in the past and I too, scoffed at him, but it is true. I do not believe in coinicidence, I believe everything that happens in a person's life, happens for a reason...good AND bad.

 

I believe it's all about timing, too.

 

There were plenty of points in the past where I thought, nay, I BELIEVED(!!!!) I was ready for a relationship, but either no relationships were forthcoming or the ones that formed were severely lacking. Looking back at my journal, I can see now that I really wasn't ready for a healthy relationship. I had plenty of my own issues to work out before I was. A relationship at those points was a dandy distraction to keep me from dealing with my own garbage, though.

 

That I wasn't really ready reflected in the relationships I did have a hand in creating during that time period. They weren't the healthy, long-lasting, solid kind of thing I really wanted. One of my exes was (and probably still is) an alcoholic...that oughta give you an idea of what I co-created before I took the time to get my own head screwed on straight.

 

When I met my husband, I wasn't actively looking....I also had been humbled enough by previous experiences that, for once, I didn't feel ready to be in a relationship. Apparently that humility was what I needed to be ready....

[BellaDonna]

Do any of you get the feeling that no matter how hard you try to find someone or meet someone or even engage in a conversation with someon you find interesting, that you have terrible luck. Like something is out of your control and no matter what you do, you're not going to get any breaks?

 

 

What you describe sounds a lot like a concept called "Locus of Control" coined by Rotter

 

link removed

 

"Someone with an external locus of control, on the other hand, sees environmental causes and situational factors as being more important than internal ones. These individuals would be more likely to see link removed rather than effort as determining whether they succeed or fail in the future, and are more likely to view themselves as the victim in any given"

 

I suppose when things don't go well- we all have the tendency now and then to attribute it to "luck" or other mysterious factors.

 

There is a personality test designed by Rotter which can tell how prone a person is to having and "internal" or "external" locus of control and how it affects the way they view the world.

 

BellaDonna

[kellbell]

Oh my Bella! I did my research on Locus of Control and even used Rotter's Scale of Locus of Control! LOL

[Dako]

I've always been depressed and a bit cynical, yet for some reason I've always felt lucky. Despite my outlook, I always have good friends, a decent life and some optimism. It has to be luck, since otherwise, I got nuthin going for me.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

I feel lucky in life but unlucky in love, and the circumstances behind some of that bad luck is beyond ridiculous.

[Kevin T]

Do any of you get the feeling that no matter how hard you try to find someone or meet someone or even engage in a conversation with someon you find interesting, that you have terrible luck. Like something is out of your control and no matter what you do, you're not going to get any breaks?

 

Umm... yes and no.

 

I honestly don't believe in "luck" per se, except if you're saying luck is simply the chances of something good happening to you.

 

I used to believe we are completely masters over our own lives, but then, why am I single??? See, there has to be more than that.

 

I don't want to blame someone else (i.e. God, etc.) but at times, I wonder. But if it isn't Him, then perhaps the blame lies with the female gender of our culture. They wouldn't approach me even if I were covered in 1000 dollar bills.

 

I honestly don't understand why women don't like me, but the fact remains, they don't. It may or may not be my looks, it may or may not be my mannerisms, it may or may not be fate. Who knows?

 

All I know is, it SUCKS.

 

As for locus of control, I used to have an internal one, but it's slowly shifting the external after some hard times. God, I hate life.

[orangecounty]

I agree, I have had a lot of bad luck with guys. BUT, when I start thinking about it, all these guys were jerks, not the types of guys I should have been going out with. So in someways you could say I've had bad luck with guys, which I have but how many people have had bad dating luck, nearly everyone! Don't let your perspective of bad luck stop you from trying twice as hard to meet people. I know it's not easy, I feel sometimes like there's a forcefield keeping me away from guys,ahaha But I know that's not really the truth.

[Proactive Paradigm]

At least you have good luck somewhere, right? Terrible luck is my forté.

[newzealand]

But meeting the right person...it is TIMING! I truly believe that. Someone told me that in the past and I too, scoffed at him, but it is true. I do not believe in coinicidence, I believe everything that happens in a person's life, happens for a reason...good AND bad.

 

I couldn't agree more. I really started thinking about this, and realizing it myself when I went on a big trip to New Zealand for several months. I noticed, that small decisions in my schedule (stay here or there a day longer or a day less) made a HUGE impact on the whole rest of my trip. Just follow this chain of events...

 

Me staying at one particular place for a few more days, ended up in me meeting someone who told me about a nice track to do that I hadn't heard about, then, because I did it, I met two really nice girls with whom I travelled for a while, and then, because I met them, I didn't do a part of the track which I ended up doing again later, with another friend that I met along the way. Then, because of this second trip, I ended up in a town for a few days where I met a wonderful girl, who I started dating, and with whom I've had a great time so far.

 

All because of one silly decision... I can't even imagine how different everything would have turned out if I hadn't decided to stay longer at that place. You see, I would not have met her probably, if I hadn't decided to stay, hadn't decided to do the track in the first place, hadn't talked to the two israeli's, etc. etc. etc...

 

All a matter of timing and decisions you make.