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Proactive Paradigm

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  1. Proactive Paradigm
    As she said, bring up AS with your doctor or other health professional. It may be difficult to find someone who is well-versed in it... or it was anyway, isn't autism the new buzz word(s) in recent years? It is much better to get something like this confirmed or refuted in your early years - as an adult diagnosis can't actually do much for you; it didn't for me. You may feel relief for a short period because you know that your behaviour isn't your fault... but once that passes and you realise you're without a cure, what do you do then? Having said that if you get AS discovered in your teen years you have much more help available to you during your formative years. At your age I could relate to almost all your points above. So I'd rather nobody else go down the path I am on. Trust me, it isn't going to lead to the land of gold and candy.
  2. Proactive Paradigm
    Same answer I give to anyone who says this: If there is, mine died.
  3. Proactive Paradigm
    On the outside. Then again, I suppose it has permeated to the inside as well.
  4. Proactive Paradigm
    Knowing you're the outcast, the misanthrope, the monster you always knew you were, and everyone else thought so too - they were just too polite to say it. Well, most of them; some just did. Gotta admire their honesty...
  5. Proactive Paradigm
    I can relate to most of your dilemma (no, really, it is close to a mirror image - no offence) so you're not the only person to feel this way. You should know though that your job should allow you great scope for meeting new people - especially the girls, the more famous your group gets. It is a good advantage - use it as best you can. Anyway yeah, I hate that saying. As well as 'there's someone for everyone!' Chortle.
  6. Proactive Paradigm
    Now I remember why I just try to read ENA instead of actually posting - my observations and opinions of people who actually brag about being in gaol are branding me a classist (real word? Ehh). Which I'm not. Lurk mode back on...
  7. Proactive Paradigm
    Today, whilst on the journey to work, I had the 'joy' of listening in to a conversation between a cadre of bad side of the tracks, rough as houses teen... chavs, let us say (seriously, if you live on the border with such an area/populace, just move, it isn't any fun hearing the sirens every night). The gist of their conversation (clean version): Their criminal/juvenile records make them great, their life/fighting people is awesome and they're going home tonight to their girlfriends for activities/have many partners for activities. Maybe they're just making conversation in their own benign way but I can certainly believe it. Yeah, juvenile delinquents and thugs, abusers and violent * * * * * * * * can still go home to someone who (presumably) loves them but I still can't find anyone to. Oh sure, their missuses are probably cut of the same... cloth, who cares? They're actually living life. Been mulling this over for a while (that's what happens when you read the abuse forum) but hearing the words of these.... humans today, brought it from just online hypothesis to stupid reality. Even the real nasty people out there (I'm a monster, sure, but not on that level) can get it on and be loved. I got nothin.' Life is so cool! -_-
  8. Proactive Paradigm
    Boy I sure wish there were more out there like you. Does that help?
  9. Proactive Paradigm
    Far better to have someone by your side in a time of sorrow, than cast them away and regret it later when that support may have been your anchor. Besides, you'd feel worse alone, and you'd be hurting yourself further _and_ someone else. Worth it? Not really. Not saying any more on that without crossing lines. You do 'us' people proud, whether you know it or not. Stay the course. He could be the answer to 'life' you've been looking for. But whatever you choose, I think you'll be alright in the end. P, who was trying not to post any more, oh well
  10. Proactive Paradigm
    ...foot long dong? Sorry, that was just my first assumption. re hazey: that's the only talk I got... tragic, ain't it? re batya: I do have my own independence, but I understand what you mean. Thank you. Anyway, thanks to the latest contributors. I'll get to my health problems at some point. Coming up next, social avoidance and being generally repulsive. Compelling stuff!
  11. Proactive Paradigm
    Angel, ALS, helo, Charmed, thank you for your input. However slight it may be, you've given me a slight reprieve in my misery guts way of life. n83, thank you as well, I appreciate both side of an 'argument.' What concerns me the most is that the responses here are probably not a reflection of the big wide world, and maybe most people think like n does. It sure would explain a few things. FYI, though I know little about maintaining a household, and have issues of... irresponsibility, I do pay bills (and on time), and do whatever I can to assist my family at home. Perhaps you were generalising, but maybe not. As I said I have had problems.... but I won't make any excuses; you think I suck, no worries, let's move on. More dilemmas to come. Exciting.
  12. Proactive Paradigm
    So lately I've been considering the dating scene... but it occurs to me that there are a few things in the way of it ever working out. Or at least, I think they are. I guess that's why I'm asking; are these problems workable? Obstacle 1: Still living at the family home in my late 20s. More and more I feel I want out (there's no problems at home, besides the social stigma of my age and living at home still), but illness and finance have kept me here. I can't see it being really appealing to a potential partner. Is it something that can be overcome, or am I screwed? I hear it isn't that uncommon these days even atmy age, but still... This is but a small drop in the ocean to everything else I'm trying to get over, but this has been bugging me for a while so I'm looking for opinions, since the notion is 'home at your age = loser.' Not that I can argue that... Ta.
  13. Proactive Paradigm
    Y'know, telling someone things like 'relationships have downsides!' when they've admitted to being jealous of everyone for having them, isn't going to change his mind much. In fact, it'd be like kicking someone's broken leg; won't achieve much but sure will hurt. If he's like me (possible, I'm jealous of y'all too) he probably read it as 'relationships have downsides... but we still have 'em, and you don't.' But we shall hope he isn't as jaded as me. ;p
  14. Proactive Paradigm
    At the 3 month stage now, and I've been admitted into hospital, let out, returned, let out, and gone back and forth like the proverbial spinner (a gold coca cola one - 80's UK culture ftw). I am no closer to solving my throat woes, although the amount of medication I've been given by the pharmacy has done wonders at stabilising me... for a few days or so. Well anyways, the hospital calls me 'really ill.' That's about it really, there's some medical term for it but I forgot it. Bizarrely, I still have my job. Not getting paid for being off sick on and off and on and off but at least it's somthing, right? Nah. I never considered myself to be a health afficionado... hell I was lethargic, lazy, getting close to fatty-tude, breathless, lousy appetite, but wow, do I miss my old non-healthy health. I guess if nothin else, this ridiculous debcle has made me realise that when (or if) I recover I need to change a few things. I'm still self loathing with no self-esteem and a strong desire to never have existed, and I still have numerous mental and physical failings, and I still want a girl so bad... but recently I haven't had much time for those problems because of my immediate pain. I suppose that's one good thing, right? Probably not.
  15. Proactive Paradigm
    Hah, from what I saw of Tokyo's.... special women (you just think the schoolgirls uniform is some dork thing.... alas, no) you have nothing to worry about. Especially based on the new av. ;o Anyways, why not go with? Asia's a pretty fun adventure, and it isn't actually that expensive if you play it right. Unless you have a third wheel thought going on. If your guy loves you the mostest, surely he wouldn't mind you going with. He might even suggest it. If there's an issue with timing or college or whatever, try to work around it. Make it some life goal - I find those sometimes take your mind of stupid **** like what we deal with... if only for a few fleeting moments. Also in Japan Land (I have no other reference point) the people on the street are pretty nonplussed by Western behaviour, even of the... extreme kind. In fact, they try to help. How do I know? Er... lets just say 'cause I do... (Uh, no offence, of course... ;o)
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