my husband has a prostitute addiction

[lifes2short]

Sydny

 

Your husband needs help as well. He may well be using sex workers to relieve his stress, but he needs to talk to a counsellor to find healthier ways to deal with his stress.

 

If he continues this behaviour then I would have to say he is not committed to your relationship. People do not deliberately hurt those they love. He can see what finding out has done to you and this should be enough to stop him in his tracks.

 

You deserve better. His behaviour has nothing to do with you or who you are. It is not about you at all. It is about his own selfishness and making sure he gets the best of both worlds - the wife at home tending to his needs and the excitement of having sex with complete strangers. He is not thinking about your emotional wellbeing or physical health. Apart from AIDS there are plenty of other STIs you can catch even when wearing a condom. Also, what about herpes, as in the cold sore virus, you can catch through kissing? He is abusing you emotionally, financially, psychologically and morally.

 

 

Look after yourself first. As woman we tend to be the last priority on anyones list. Make yourself a priority. Put your feelings first not his. You are worth more than this. If you want your marriage to work set boundaries around what is and what isn't acceptable in your relationship. Go to a counsellor. You need to talk to someone about this. This is not a small hiccup in your life, it is huge. I know I have been there. This has attacked your self esteem and your confidence in yourself. Of course you can be everything for him. That is what loving a person is about.

 

Telling you that going to sex workers will only make him happier and satisfied, so he can do more for you and the kids is unbelievable. How do you think your children will feel if they find out the reason for this happier Dad. And believe me they will eventually. My children worked it out. What sort of healthy relationship role modelling is that for them? Protect them from this. My children are still coming to terms with what their father has done.

 

Take care and please seek help. Please use this forum to let us know how you are getting on.

[caninelover]

I would rather not be in this club!

 

Bad behaviour? Uh....seeing prostitutes is illegal in EVERY State! I call my husband a criminal to his face. And what about the selfish money spent?

 

I'm in the process of divorce (just beginning) and I'll be damned if I'm going to split all our property 50/50 when I have contributed well over that. I'm going to make this divorce so damn stressful on him!

 

I can't eat or sleep or stop picturing him with those women! I'm threating to file a civil action against him in addition to the divorce. Using that as leverage to get the divorce settlement I want that I feel is important for ME!

 

ILLEGAL....ILLEGAL....ILLEGAL TO PAY FOR SEX!! I've had my checkups and will do another in 6 months to make sure I don't have a std.

[chocojay]

you deserve so much better than what your husband is putting you and your family through, the children also need a father and not a prostistute hunter! He's really has a problem and that problem is something that HE needs to sort by HIMSELF! YOU cannot be involved, he's got issues, you just have to look out for your health and the children, no use in having 2 HIV parents! Im SO upset for you! I wish some men could THINK b4 they do these things!!!!! Putting your health at risk like that! No, i dont think condoms help 100% and for crying out loud, these are prostitutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll pray for your sanity and strength!!! I'll even pray for HIM!!!!!

[caninelover]

I am amazed at myself for doing so well since my husband left.

 

Well, I DO have trouble sleeping and I slip up and sometimes drink a whole bottle of wine to relax and be able to get to sleep...and....I DO obsess about him.

 

What trouble me most though - Is reading at this board about women and even young mothers whose husbands are looking at porn. LISTEN... my husband did that for several years and then it ESCALATED. He then started calling for phone sex. What? Dial-a-porn? I dunno! I saw the charges on his credit card. They are 800 numbers NOT 900 numbers. So they are toll free! Why? Cuz they use a credit card after getting into the toll free number.

 

Later on....my husband got tired of watching the porn and masterbating and got tired of the phone sex. SO? His addiction went to the yellow pages! YES....his {Mod Edit} did the walking through the yellow pages under Entertainment (I believe). They have ESCORTS. He was way way drunk when he would call them and passed out by the time I got home from work. So? I thought he was too drunk to meet with them. Not so. ~ ~

 

I started looking at his bank statements and credit card detail. NOW....these outfits are smart. The charges like $349 are made out to "Western Referral Services- San Diego" or even "Comcast cable Com". whatever....we don't have Comcast! We have Dishnetwork!!! The money spent is astronomical. One DAY was $1,035!!! We have separate bank accounts and always have for 14 years. I LIKED it that way! Little did I know.

 

I'm tellin' you ladies...they LIE. They talk all lovey dovey and sincere, etc. My husband appears to be a good guy and all my friends tell me how lucky I am and that even they can tell how much he loves me. Sorry, but I don't need to be loved that way. He is an excellent con man. So so good!!

 

I kicked him out 4 weeks ago and now the attorneys will go at it together $$$$$. Today? Sunday, 3/11??? I was getting ready to go to church and the phone rang at 10:15 a.m. The gal asked for Joe. I said, "he doesn't live here anymore." She said, "oh, well he gave me this number, can you give me his new number." She could tell my hesitation....so she said, " well, will you tell him to call me? HE knows my number."

 

So, I called and left the message for him on his work cell phone. I knew he was probably passed out and couldn't answer the phone. He is a big time alcoholic and it has gotten extreeeeem since I kicked him out. I figure that last night he was so drunk that when he called his hooker, "escort" (expensive trick) that he was so drunk that when he left her a message he unintentionally left his "OLD" phone number! The {Mod Edit}!!!

 

I put up with this nice character for 19 years. Sure, I had some clues that I ignored. But, hey....he would and did anything for me! Anything I asked and took care of me thru illness. I WAS SOOOOO fooled as to his integrity and character and I am a very intelligent person. ANY one can be fooled. So true that LOVE IS BLIND.

[amsterdam]

My husband and I are living in Amsterdam for a few years. I'm pregnant and expecting our first baby in July. We have been married 2 years. He has drinking issues and has had porn issues in the past. Last night I came home and he was in bed with his pants around his knees, and when I turned on the light there was a condom on the floor. He said he went to see a prostitute in the red light district for a blow job, but that it was no big deal because he didn't ejaculate.

 

You hear these stories all the time about women who are pregnant and get cheated on -- but as they say, I never thought it would happen to me. God help me and this little baby.

[Bethany]

God help me and this little baby.

 

You don't needs God's help. All you need is to say that this is not acceptable to you and if he does it again, it's over and the strength to stand by your word.

[Kate2006]

I've been reading this thread periodically the last few months, since finding out my husbands secret. This is one of the most painful things I've ever experienced for so many reasons.

 

I have received no admission from my husband at all and that is difficult to swallow when the truth is right there infront of us both. I'm not ready to turn my life upside down with a divorce, so I just try to keep the truth out of my mind for now. Sometimes, like tonight, I just can't ignore it.

 

I haven't been married very long. The blissful wedding memories are still very fresh in my mind. I think that makes things that much worse for me. I'm not ready to toss out the dreams I've had to start a family and get on to that part of my life. It's very hard to face starting over and that I made such a bad choice for a mate.

 

I know STD's are a real concern, as I've read about many of your experiences. My husband shows no interest in sex, with me anyway. I suppose, given the situation, that it's a blessing, but the whole situation is also confusing. It's actually very hard to deal with his lack of interest in me, knowing that he goes through such efforts for sex with hookers. Can't help but feel there is something wrong with me.

 

So many of the things others have posted ring true for my as well. Like wanting to setup his favorite hookers to get busted. Confronting them myself to scare them into not seeing him again. Not that he wouldn't find a replacement, but just to make it difficult. I've researched and pieced together so much information. Enough that I even know where one of the hookers lives and what hotels she frequents.

 

At the same time all the information and my obsession with gathering it is unhealthy for me. I do my best to not do it and instead try to gather the strengh I need to get myself through this.

 

Anyway, thanks for listening. This is not something I can be disucss openly in my real life.

[amsterdam]

Hey Kate, I'm really sorry. It is just so unbelievable what men are capable of. I still can't believe he did it to me when I'm pregnant.

[SweetJade]

Wow, I went through this with my last ex. Good thing it went down before marriage was even in the picture. This is what really concerns me, I mean how many other people out there are experiencing this? It seems common for alot of men to do this which frightens me at the least. Makes me even scared to be in a relationship now.

 

My real concern is STDs and this is how it spreads. With people not being faithful and then they come home and give their spouse an unsuspected disease. With a prostitute? The thought sickens me!

[dada]

Run, as fast as you can...

[Twilight Zone]

I just found this site. I couldn't believe all of the stories. I just found out my husband is seeing prostitutes also. It has been two and a half week since I found out. I had the divorce papers drawn up but told the attorney to wait. It is such a hard thing to do. He keeps saying he has always loved me, he'll do whatever it takes not to break up after all of these years. So after reading the messages on this site, I realized it would never change. And he has been doing this for years. Did not have a clue. All the action was in the afternoon. Never was late coming home. Any how, I just called the attorney and said go ahead. We have been married for 45 years. He is 63. WHAT A SHOCK!!!!!

[Kate2006]

I'm so sorry to hear there is another person sharing my same experience. Since I found out several months ago I have become obsessed with this double life my husband has been leading. I have spent countless hours reading about it and reading things the men themselves write about this lifestye. It is truly unreal.

There is no way you could have had a clue, until you know what to look for, and you couldn't know what to look for unless you knew this sick world existed.

[Kate2006]

I'm curious to know. How did you (any/all of you) find out about your husband's prostitute activites? I feel like we could make a warning checklist for other wives.

[AloneAgain2006]

I think prostitution among married men is way more common than people realize. If you check around the newspapers and internet the sex trade is booming is some cities. Women need to look for men disappearing for a few hours without a good reason, unexplained cash withdrawals, and less requests for sex.

[Twilight Zone]

We had a new insurance carrier. If you had 3 months of meds, you only paid like for one. So I was playing with the new site. Under his name was listed twice viagra. At first I thought I had tapped into someone elses. Then I thought it was an example because Viagra kept coming up. (Not meant to be a pun.) I thought he was having an affair. Took him to a nice restaurant for dinner. Ordered and then I whispered to him eye to eye. How long have you been having an affair? He died for a few minues. Denied it. I said viagra. Never thought you needed that. I have it in back and white. Of course I gave him a copy. And then to find out they were all prostitues. All this to save him $50.00 I said, if you had paid cash, I would never had known. But I do!!!!!!

[Saravictoria]

Hi everyone. I am 2 and a half weeks from giving birth to a baby boy. When I was 7 months pregnant and 4 months after my marriage, I discovered that my husband had gone to see prostitutes and massage girls for all the duration of our relationship, including after our engagement, my pregnancy and our marriage. I am deeply hurt, but very confused being so heavily pregnant. The STD tests are clear (thank God). I will leave my final decision to a better time (after I give birth). He said that he never felt guilty as long as I didn't know and now that he has see how much I am suffering, he is seekiing therapy and does not intend to go any longer. He says that he loves me, always loved me and doesn't want to leave the marriage. We had an excellent and very active sex life, in fact we had made love the night before he went to see his last escort (so lack of sex is not an indicator). Thank you for giving me the possibility to share my experience. I will keep you all posted on future decisions.

[dada]

You should run to get tested for any STD's and then run to a lawyer, with the kids.

[dwatson]

I let my husband of 5 months go up to LA with his friend to see a concert a month ago. It was a Thursday night. We had about $1700 in our bank so Friday afternoon I noticed that the account was overdrawn by $1,800! The charges were to Western Referral Services. I also got an email from my husband (his phone was dead) saying he was tired and would be leaving around 7 p.m.

 

I ran to the bank, then went to my sisters house in tears. Could he really be getting hookers? It turns out that Western Referral Services is really VIP Escorts (San Diego, LA, and Las Vegas). He first said they were for the band they went to see, but then he said they were JUST strippers and he didn't take off any clothes. Should I believe him?

 

Also, one of my best friends from grade school had us over a few months ago and I just found out that my husband was coming on to his girlfriend (who is a stripper).

 

I kicked him out and have taken him back since. Is it worth it? Does this guy have a porn problem? Any insight would be appreciated.

 

Thanks!

[Christopher11]

I can only say what I would do... I would leave him. Not to punish him, not to cause pain, but because he has been living a lie and made you live it to. Lying to you. I think that is seriously wrong. I just don't see how you could continue after this long of a lie.

 

Maybe he can get help and get back on track one day with someone else... but I think he blew it with you, and I think you deserve to live a life with someone who is truthful and genuine with you.

[Leila11]

I just found out today that MY husband of four years has been seeing prostitutes and I googled "husband+prostitutes" and found this site. Honestly, what a godsend to read everyone else's stories. I'm not particularly judgemental but, I did gently confront him with the evidence without telling him how I found out. He still denied it but, I have tangible proof which I showed to my best friend who I have known for most of my life and she was blown away, too. Unlike some of the other women who have posted, I am not heartbroken over this because I see it as his problem and not a reflection of me. (I have a fantastic therapist whom I totally credit for helping me get to the point where I can make automatic assessments like this.) But, wow! It still takes some getting used to. There are some big decisions that need to be addressed, obviously. But, I'm just going to go slow and not make any immediate plans other than keeping myself safe and not sleeping with him.

[im_a_jerk]

Some of you may not care to hear this from a guy's perspective, but before you write me off please read my story.

 

I was caught cheating last year (about 9 months ago) because a friend and I got in a fight. We shared a lot of secrets, and they all came out, plus some exaggeration for spite.

 

When I was about 23, married with 1 kid and a wife bearing our second, some older co-workers took me to a strip club. I had been a completely faithful guy up until then. I had only been in such a place once before when I turned 18.

 

I was mad at my wife for stupid things (like her going dancing with friends). Looking back I was always a suspicious and controlling partner.

 

Anyway, this experience led to another, and another. Soon I found myself searching places like usasexguide dot info, and learning about massage parlors, escorts, and even real prostitutes.

 

I started with Massage Parlors. Eventually moving into escorts who came to my hotel and eventually I picked up several girls right off the street. This went on for about 3 years. Sometimes I would go months without thinking about it and other times I found myself leaving work in the middle of the day to visit a massage parlor or search the streets/strip clubs.

 

Somedays I felt guilt and pledged to quit. I always justified my actions by thinking of the ways my wife had "hurt" or "neglected" me. "She probably has cheated on me" I would tell myself.

 

I cheated on her for 3 years, having intercourse with over 20 women and receiving other paid sex acts in my car countless times. It took her 4 months to drag the whole truth out of me. I believe she stayed with me because we have kids. I am sure she loves me and is in denial about who I am, too.

 

I had an opportunity to "date" a girl who really liked me but I "drew the line" there. I used to joke with my friend "If you aren't paying for it it's cheating". We were pretty messed up.

 

Since the confessions I always get angry when she flies off the handle without warning. Sometimes we will be great and BOOM a hooker joke is fired off at a movie. We could just turn off the highway to a poor neighborhood and I would watch her mood change. You see, she made me take her to strip clubs, massage parlors and even point out prostitutes walking the streets I used to cruise. That may have been a mistake, but I think she thought the women were better looking than they actually were. I took her to prove her wrong.

 

After failed marriage counseling and even attempting sex addiction therapy she decided she wanted revenge. She told me she couldn't let me get away with this. She threatenned to do it behind my back so I allowed her to sleep with a guy in california I worked with. It was a night on the town and kind of half planned. WOW... that hurt.

 

I wander if I even would have stopped the cheating in the long run if I hadn't went through with the "revenge". It stopped our fighting for about 6 weeks. Soon her "triggers" as the therapist call them started coming back. We are fighting a lot these days and constantly contemplating a divorce.

 

Last week a had a weird dream where our situations were reversed. I have no idea the pain she has felt but this gave me just a peek. I dreamed she had slept with guys at massage parlors and male strip clubs. She worked and I stayed at home with the kids. I was devasted and always wandering if she was going to stop. When she would leave the house I would go nuts. Even after I woke up it bothered me all day.

 

I went to my wife and fixed one problem right away. I told her it was all my fault. It really was! These therapists that told my wife she had fallen short were obviously banking on my repeat business. I did these things because I wanted to. I could have controlled my desire and I didn't. She felt a little better since the blame was off her. But now neither of us can decide wether it is right to stay together.

 

Let me sum up our marriage by saying my wife has an awesome personality. She is also beautiful, fit and would have guys lined up at the door to take my place. I am overweight and disgusting. Her girlfriends don't know why she is with me anyway, let alone after all this betrayal. I have gained 80 pounds since we married. I don't deserve her and it would KILL me to lose her.

 

Is it really possible to heal after all this? Are there any good resources out there. Is she wasting her time with me?

 

A P.S. here to all the questions I see women asking. I know many men who pay for sex, even some who have been caught and continue to engage in this practice.

 

1.) Yes he is lying. It is unlikely he will EVER tell the whole truth.

2.) Yes he will do it again. If you caught him, he is probably just sorry to be caught.

3.) No, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He's probably no good for you though. I love my wife, after counseling and therapy I still don't know what I was thinking back then. There is still temptation now. I don't resist for my wife's sake but because of the education I received on STD's.

4.) NO! There is no way he understands how hurt you are. Don't let him convince you it was your fault in ANY way. It was his choice and until he admitts it was 100% him he is far from being sincere about quiting.

5.) If you try to stop him, it will make him want it more. I don't know why.

6.) I have ADD, and apparently "sex addiction" and ADD come hand in hand. On another note I had OCD as a child. Without medication I learned to control my behavior, and continue to do so today. ADD is no excuse. Self control is what is required and as men we have to WANT to control ourselves.

 

My question is simple. Should I get out of my wife's way and let her move on? Of course I will pay for the house/cars/bills while she goes to school and gets a career started. I never want to lose our 3 kids. Even if I have to live with my mom until there is more money. I deserve all this.

 

Is my suspicion right? Is there no hope for us?

[Leila11]

Well, here are some of my thoughts on this:

 

First, it is great that you came clean with her and told her everything. My husband is still denying everything though, interestingly, his story does change with each telling with a bit more uncovered each time. (Very tedious business, let me tell you.)

 

I am not sure what your wife would want from you in exchange for all the pain and dishonesty you gave her. Her "revenge" was a bad idea. I doubt very much that it made her feel much better. I suspect though, that what might make a difference is your friendship. Be patient with her and her anger. She should get therapy on her own. She also needs to make up her own mind about what it would take to make her happy. She might not even know at this point and could be feeling very trapped. But, she has a responsibility to take care of herself and not expect you just to read her mind. Tell her you love her and more than anything, want her to be happy. Ask if there is anything you can do to help her have that happiness. Tell her your own dreams and your own list of things that would make you happy and ask if she would be willing to help you, too. (Your sex life with each other must also be discussed and addressed as well. A sexless relationship is probably not going to work for the two of you.)

Anger must be laid aside for everyone's benefit and clarity. It's as if there is this gigantic mess in your home. You can help each other clean it up or, you can both walk away. What you can't do is stay living with all that mess (anger, dishonesty and unhealthful living) without causing serious harm to each other and your children.

There is hope but, there is also a lot of growing up to do. And there is always room for more healing in a situation like this. If you want your marriage to survive, then you must keep your heart open and keep actively seeking ways to make things better. Turn off the tv. Start excersizing. Find mental health support ie: a therapist and/or sex addicts anonymous. Focus on your children. They need you to be there for them. Be an amazing father. Listen to them, go to their games, dance classes, whatever. You also may find wisdom and support in a church or temple. You two are not the only ones this has happened to. Remember this as you work to save your marriage. But, if your wife does decide to move on, all you can do is be as supportive of her and your children as you can.

[im_a_jerk]

I appreciate your response, and you are right. I feel like now I must let her go and hope that one day she will want me back. I will need to change things in my life so that she will be interested in me again. I also have to accept that she may meet someone better in the meantime.

 

I started all this and now I have to pay. At first I wanted to take everything away from her, maybe she would realize how "lucky" she is. But I have since changed my mind, and maybe grown up a little.

 

====

 

On the flip side I will share some insight from the "devil" himself, guys like me.

 

The Lies We Tell You I could never remember the lies I told my wife. She had a MUCH better memory than I did. I only tried the truth because I thought God would honor that and help heal my marriage. Some days I regret it. I told her things she would NEVER have discovered and I know it made things worst. Even after hearing the truth she still sometimes wanders if there is more.

 

Everyone I know who has ever been caught NEVER told even a fraction of the truth. The probabiltity of getting caught is low. YOu can bet your husband has done 10 times more than what he was caught doing.

 

One thing I noticed about me that changed was my anger level. Once I told her everything I stopped getting angry when she questioned me. Sometimes she questions the same events every day and I calmly and humbly answer. She gets mad and leaves, I give her the space she needs. I also remember to apoligize sincerely whenever we talk about it. If he is still getting mad, he is still hiding stuff and probably thinking about doing it again.

 

Catching Us If you think your husband is still cheating, catching him is simple. Muster all the strength you have and BACK OFF. Act like you are healing. Be patient.

 

DON'T ever tell him you are doing this, even after more is discovered or after his confession. You will need these tools to check up on him farther down the road.

 

1.) Get a hardware USB keylogger (search Google products) on your home computer.

2.) Put a lenghty voice activated recorder in his car, you can buy them at Best Buy or even Walmart. Get one that transfers the sound files to your computer so you can occasionally dump the files off, change batteries and put it back in the car.

3.) Get a $10 Nextel phone and data plan and accutracking dot com service. Through it in his trunk and see where is going all day. It is a GPS service that shows you LIVE on your internet and cell phone where he is at. There are many other like it online.

4.) Get online access to his cell phone records.

 

Give it at least month, I gaurantee you will make new discoveries much sooner than that. My brother in law kept lying to his wife until I helped her do the things above. She was very hurt and they separated for a while, but he came back after that and confessed everything to her. At least she has the truth now.

 

 

Getting our attention The one thing that any woman can do is LEAVE the man home, maybe even with the kids. Don't come back or call for a couple days.

 

Leave a letter saying you need space and that you are safe. Let him think WHATEVER he wants. Let him be jealous. I promise you will have his attention and he will be ready to work harder on your marriage.

 

 

 

======

 

 

I know this is advise from the "devil" but after reading your stories I feel I should share whatever I can to help.

 

After reading my own advise it seems more and more obvious just leaving the marriage would be healthier. We deserver it and FAR worst.

[john jal]

Ok, I'm a bad man, i've read thru the discussion forum, and now you have genuinly gotten me feeling guilty for my sins. I started seeing escorts about a year ago now, and now see them every so often (say once a month). I've been married almost 4 years now, and I always did have a guilty feeling inside when I did it, but always pushed it aside, until now after reading thru this forum.

 

Look I don't expect your sympathy, but pls let me tell u how this all started for me.

 

We've been married almost 4 years now (and dated for 6 years previously), I had never been with another woman except my wife and vice versa. We had a great regular and mutual sexual relationship then before marriage, but the day we got married it all stopped! Perhaps she got bored of it already, I really don't know, but the sex just stopped happening. On our honeymoon we had sex twice...... On our lovely 2 month long honeymoon.......

 

Well I really do love my wife to bits, I love her more than the world, but after 1 year, 2 years, 3 years of rare sex, I think I lost it. My wife wouldn't regularly have sex with me, even after I would beg and plead even for ANY sort of sexual relief.... After enough frustration, a year ago I started. It was alot easier than I ever knew, there are websites out there that help.

 

And it doesn't help that I travel alot, so I get alot of opportunities of temptations out there.

 

Now can anyone help me? I really don't WANT to see escorts, But what should I do with the Mrs? I Mean I'm not a sex addicted maniac, but I mean once or twice a week is that unreasonable to expect? I think I could keep it in my pants if I got it once or twice a week.

 

I don't mean to sound dirty, but theres something I've come to understand about the male body, having sex once or twice a week doesn't really provide any great satisfaction.... It literally just provides relief. For a man to have sex after a pause, isn't wonderful the 1st time, because the man's already 'overloaded,' from days of inactivity and believe me, in the excitment of it, hes done in '60 seconds' (pardon the pun). The feeling a man gets really isn't wonderful, because the orgasm is really fast and so you don't get much satisfaction, just RELIEF. For men its the second go round that is great! I mean a man needs to have sex twice in a day (an hour or

morning and night between them), and the second time will be great, but hte first not.

 

Well the thing is a man needs to be at least RELIEVED of it. I mean, when you are walking around with a loaded gun, its easy to loose control, however in all honesty, if you gun isn't overloaded, then its much MUCH easier for the man to be in control of himself. Listen this is all anonymous, I'd die of embarresment to ever say this outloud, but there are times I am extremely horny and am contemplating going to an escort, but instead I 'relieve' myself, and as soon as I'm done, I have absolutely no desire to go to a service at all, and loath the idea. I mean I can relieve myself 10 times straight, but by the 11th time, I lose control and just go to an escort.

 

I mean I see ALOT of responses from people, stating that they won't have sex with their husband indefinetly, but stating that they intend to stay with their husband. I disagree with you, your not solving the problem AT all, if you want your man to stay at home, perhaps unprotected intercourse isn't the answer, but at least take it from me, relieve the man twice or thrice a week without him having to BEG for it, so he can at least keep it in his pants. Its MUCH easier that way, work WITH him not against him, and understand how a man's mind works. For you women you all think we men only think from our * * * *s (please pardon my expression), but the reality is its not that straight forward. Be completely active in his sex life, because if he isn't getting it from you, hes getting it from SOMEWHERE (keep in mind he has an active libido or else he wouldn't go the first time), so its better his sex life involves both of you.

 

Look I know alot of you will call names me with some bad words, and yes I, the evil man am 100% wrong for it, and its inexcusable what I've done, but I've thought deeply about it and come to understand what made this behavior come about in me, and hope that my practicle advice helps. I mean if you ever met me in real life, you'd probably think I'm the most decent man around, but believe me, male sexual urges is extremely powerful if left unattended for long enough, even in the best of men.

[Cimmie]

A woman is not there to 'relieve' a man. Sorry, but your post has made me feel extremely angry. If you need to be 'relieved', well that's what porn is for, and madam palm and her five daughters. At least that way you are not in danger of passing an STI on to your wife.

 

Please. You are not getting enough at home so you are 'forced' to avail of escorts? That's what they all say. It sounds to me like you have an addiction problem, period.

 

Not all men visit prostitutes, so what makes you different? You are putting your own and your wife's life in danger with your activities. Have you not read through this thread and seen the anguish it causes to the spouses of these men?

 

If there is a problem with your marriage, you need to get into counselling, sex therapy, or else you need to leave your wife so that you can screw around with a good conscience, or else find a woman whose libido is compatible with your own.