Lying about virginity?

[ShaKe__]

My new boyfriend is very experienced in sex(he's been with 9 girls) and when he asked me about my past,I lied that I'm not a virgin.I'm not sure why I did that,but having an experienced boyfriend makes me feel uncomfortable with this subject.Anyway,I don't even plan on having sex with him,he's not a great boyfriend and I don't think we're compatible in any way to get serious.But one of his friends(who knows the whole city probably) asked one of my ex-es about me and my ex told him all the things we've done together like showering and stuff(bastard) but that I'm a virgin.I don't get it why my ex would do something so stupid and what I should do about my situation?

[arwen]

Well, your ex told the truth which in your situation is not so convenient. Why he would share this kind of information is strange, but I'd understand that he didn't see why he should be lying about it. I don't think it crossed his mind that you would have told someone you are NOT a virgin while you are. Why are you even with a guy if you already know he will never be serious-relationship material?

 

Ilse

[Siriana]

Well if you don't want to sleep with that guy, don't.

About your stupid ex: just ignore the fact that he discoverd something that should remain private because he is stupid

If asked about it by your new bf than he's stupid to because he didn't trust you but decided to check things up somewhere else. Just ask who told you that? I told you the truth, so it was not nice to check on me.

Oh, it looks like you are the only one smart in all this! Don't even bother about all that.

[Süsser Tod]

My new boyfriend is very experienced in sex(he's been with 9 girls) and when he asked me about my past,I lied that I'm not a virgin.I'm not sure why I did that,but having an experienced boyfriend makes me feel uncomfortable with this subject.Anyway,I don't even plan on having sex with him,he's not a great boyfriend and I don't think we're compatible in any way to get serious.But one of his friends(who knows the whole city probably) asked one of my ex-es about me and my ex told him all the things we've done together like showering and stuff(bastard) but that I'm a virgin.I don't get it why my ex would do something so stupid and what I should do about my situation?

 

 

Why are you even worried about this? Do you need to be with someone so badly that even when you know it isn't meant to be, and that it won't work, you still want to remain in that relationship?

 

I don't think you should be even questioning yourself about what you said, I think you should really think about why you are in that relationship.

[southerngirl]

Don't ever be ashamed to be a virgin. I admire you that you would wait. If he is not serious relationship material, my advice is that you dont waste anymore time on him. Before you know it you could fall in love once he 'grows on you' and then your problems become way more complex.

 

Also, your ex could be jealous that you have moved on and feels the need to pump his ego by telling about you. Drop them both. If your not ready to have sex, dont do it.

[Mrocza]

I agree with southrngirl, don't be ashamed you are a virgin. Most people find it an admirable thing

 

I don't know why you told the guy you weren't, but sometimes things just slip out in conversation that aren't intended. I think you should come clean if it bothers you so much... Just tell the guy,

 

"Listen about the other day, I didn't want to correct you that I wasn't a virgin because I think my sexual experience is just that, mine. Sharing that kind of information with someone just seems wrong - it's not that casual to me. Anyway, I should have been honest and just told you it's none of your business, I apologize."

 

That way he knows the truth, knows it's something you don't openly discuss and knows that you have certain values he should respect.

 

If you don't want to date the guy in the long run, I'd come clean anyway. Less stress on your part if he makes a move to make you feel uncomfortable.

 

As for your ex, he did tell the truth. Why your current bf's friends are asking about your sexual expeirence is beyond me - it seems very childish. But hey, teenagers. How did you find out about it anyway? Maybe you can bring it up to your boyfriend that you find it lame and kind of unsettling that his friends are asking your ex's what you did with them.

 

Your ex should have known better to respect your privacy but he didn't. I would let it go and not let it get to you. I mean, atleast he told the truth and not some fabricated story, or said you weren't a virgin, which I think would be way worse.

[yeawutever]

First, if you weren't confortable with sex, you should have told him the truth, that you're a vigin. That most important question would be he's a bad b/f, then why are you even in a relation with him?

[mrrisotto]

I lied my first time about being a virgin as well. Don't sweat it - it's a touchy subject (god knows how uncomfortable I was the first time!) which a lot of people understand, but if your boyfriend has that big of a problem with you being a virgin, then he's not right for you anyways. It's a private matter, and in my opinion, your ex had NO right to pass that kind of information around so willingly. I agree with what Mrocza said - why is he asking other people (and not you directly) about your past sexual experiences?!?!