jabele Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 I do a good amount of the "online dating" and I never end up liking 97% of them. However, I went on a date two days ago and I liked the guy...the feeling was definitely mutual, because he put his arm around me and gave me a small kiss goodbye. The thing is that, while I usually don't like the guys, whenever I do like them, I end up driving them away because I get so excited that I call and text message a lot...and then I never date them. I want to play it cool but I'm so tempted to text and say hi and stuff...should I just stop? Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 One or two texts or messages aren't going to hurt too much, but I think doing it over and over again will! My rule of thumb is I don't contact them anymore than they contact me. If he sends you an e-mail everyday, then send him one back everyday also. If he calls you once a week... well, maybe he's not all that interested. Anyways, try not to get too excited. you don't really know him all that well yet. Try to relax, just take it slow. A lot of men get scared off once they get the vibe you are planning the wedding and naming the children on the 3rd date over appetizers. play it cool Link to comment
lonelyfish Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 I do a good amount of the "online dating" and I never end up liking 97% of them. However, I went on a date two days ago and I liked the guy...the feeling was definitely mutual, because he put his arm around me and gave me a small kiss goodbye. The thing is that, while I usually don't like the guys, whenever I do like them, I end up driving them away because I get so excited that I call and text message a lot...and then I never date them. I want to play it cool but I'm so tempted to text and say hi and stuff...should I just stop? I agree with Annie! Try to act cool. I'm with you on the whole online dating thing. To me it's like finding a needle in a haystack. I recently had a terrible experience. I met this guy from online and we seemed to really hit it off - so much in common. Had a totally great date. However the 2nd flopped and I still have no idea why?? He must of totally lost interest with something I said or did. I have never had a a 2nd date go so bad after such a good first date. I'm fairly attractive and he was somewhat of a nerd. I think I got suckered for the player in a nerd's clothing! Don't get too excited too soon is all I can say. Have fun, but keep your guard up. Best of luck! Link to comment
Scout Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 I wait until the guy calls me after the first date before I contact him. It may be old-fashioned, and trust me, I have a pretty modern outlook on lots of relationship issues, but not this one. Guys that are interested will contact you after the first date. Link to comment
NJRon Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 Yeah, wait until the guy contacts you, but don't be afraid to contact him periodically after that. Once a day is a good way to see. Then you can get a feel and let him set the pace. I don't ever send two messages in a row without getting a response unless there has been a lot of time between them... like a couple of days. Link to comment
Scout Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 Yeah, wait until the guy contacts you, but don't be afraid to contact him periodically after that. Good clarification. I only have that "let him contact you first" thing in place in the beginning. Link to comment
jabele Posted April 28, 2006 Author Share Posted April 28, 2006 Thanks everyone! I appreciate your help. I'll try to play it cool...;-) Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 I try to remind myself (albeit, not that well always), that it takes a while to really get to know someone. Most people don't start showing their true colors for several months. I know plenty of people, also here on eNotalone, who were dating the "perfect person" who was sweet and wonderful, and then after 3 months, one day, they just totally changed! just goes to show, you don't know a person all that well after just a few dates. Link to comment
Mun Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 I try to remind myself (albeit, not that well always), that it takes a while to really get to know someone. Most people don't start showing their true colors for several months. I know plenty of people, also here on eNotalone, who were dating the "perfect person" who was sweet and wonderful, and then after 3 months, one day, they just totally changed! just goes to show, you don't know a person all that well after just a few dates. Good words from Annie, so don't get too excited yet girl ! Have fun ! Link to comment
jabele Posted April 29, 2006 Author Share Posted April 29, 2006 Yeah, apparently I shouldn't get too excited yet, because I just went to grab a quick bite with him, and he acted TOTALLY different than the last time we hung out. He seemed sort of pretentious ( and seemingly uninterested in what I had to say. He didn't make much effort and the conversation didn't flow the way it did last time. I don't understand what changed? Also, he didn't pay for me-- not that that really matters, but it also sends a message (of "friend"). I'm confused by his behavior... Ugh. Link to comment
Cadence308 Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 Yeah, that is weird that he is acting differently and that you paid for yourself. When I dated guys another way that I could tell that they were really into me was that they forced me to let them cover my bill. It was a quick bite to eat so maybe he didn't consider it a date. It's hard to say what was going on with him. He could have been stressed about exams, a job, etc.? Did he ask to see you again? Or did he say he will call you or email you again soon? Link to comment
jabele Posted April 30, 2006 Author Share Posted April 30, 2006 I literally have NO money -- so when he called me and asked if I wanted to meet up last minute for some dinner, I assumed that, like last time, it was sort of a date-type thing. If I didn't like him, I would have just told him: hey, listen, I have no money i can't go- but I was excited he called, so I quickly got ready and just went. He was acting sort of differently, and then at the end when the bill came, I saw he only put down his share. I was like: * * * *. So I put down my credit card, knowing that I had already gone over my limit. I didn't know it gets rejected though if thats the case...I figured they'd just charge you a fee. It came back, as rejected, so he had to put his card down. I felt REALLY bad, and he looked kinda annoyed- maybe? I apologized profusely and he said it was fine and it happens...I told him I'd take him out next time. He gave me a quick kiss goodbye, like last time, and wished me luck on writing my papers. I went online and sent him an email apologizing about it again...but then he wrote me back soemthing pretty nice: " no problem darling, these things happen to all of us so don't worry about it. Had a good time with you at dinner and I'll be in touch, my schedule is pretty touch and go for the next two weeks but we'll figure something out." Men are stupid. Ha! Link to comment
Cadence308 Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 Wow, how embarrassing!!!! I bet you could have just died. I have never had that happen, but it would be ranked up there with "most embarrassing moments." At least you played it well and acted ignorant about the credit card thing, acting like you had money. It's a good thing you weren't like, "I didn't bring any money." LOL It sounds like he knew that you were sincere about your apology and probably empathizes with you being so embarrassed. Some guys are just not sure about the dating thing with women these days. Some guys are old fashioned and want to pay for everything all of the time. Some guys think that every other time the girl should pay. And some guys think that it's dutch every time. Maybe he thought you would offer to buy this last time since he bought the first time. I would bring enough money next time you two go out and offer to buy his meal. It sounds like there will be another time and you are just too embarrassed to see it. Link to comment
Cadence308 Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 This is off topic, but is there a reason that your profile switched from a picture of Bush to a cupcake? Would you like to push his face in the cupcake? Link to comment
jabele Posted April 30, 2006 Author Share Posted April 30, 2006 I WOULD LOVE TO PUSH HIS FACE IN THE CUPCAKE! I just had the urge to put up the picture of that cupcake, because its from Magnolia- a renowned bakery, and its ridiculously tasty. Mmmmm. Now its just my face;-) Link to comment
Cadence308 Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 Men are stupid. Ha! That's why I'm trying to hook up with a woman! I have to admit that you have some interesting profile pics with the exception of your pic. Loved the Bush one! Anyway, sounds like this guy wants to meet up with you again soon. I would just be patient and wait for him to call or email soon. Sounds like he wants to fit you into his busy schedule. That's a good sign. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 I think your photo is beautiful! You are very pretty! Don't worry about the guy. maybe he had a bad day so he wasn't as into the date as he normally would be. Or, maybe he is kind of a self-absorbed jerk, at which point, you shouldn't want to date him anyways. No worries. see what develops. Link to comment
jabele Posted May 1, 2006 Author Share Posted May 1, 2006 I think your photo is beautiful! You are very pretty! Don't worry about the guy. maybe he had a bad day so he wasn't as into the date as he normally would be. Or, maybe he is kind of a self-absorbed jerk, at which point, you shouldn't want to date him anyways. No worries. see what develops. Thanks Annie! Thats really sweet of you to say Link to comment
Cadence308 Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 You are one hot, sexy babe! Wanna hook up, no strings attached and we don't have to go all the way! LOL Link to comment
jabele Posted May 1, 2006 Author Share Posted May 1, 2006 You are one hot, sexy babe! Wanna hook up, no strings attached and we don't have to go all the way! LOL LOL! That was awesome. Damn, I love the love on ENotElone! Link to comment
Mun Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 It sounds like maybe there were no sparks for him, that tends to happen too. Better luck next time girl and next time don't go out without some cash on you...just in case Keep looking Link to comment
Shesa Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 YES stop. If you know your behavior freaks people out... dont do it. Then, after you have him as your boyfriend, you can joke about how you wanted to text him a million times a day. Everyone gets feelings like that. It's normal. Just put the brakes on it. It's fine to let him know HOW you feel. Just you don't need to tell him it 100 times. Link to comment
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