So stupid

[thegoodgirl04]

So nc for almost 3 weeks and he calls me to tell me he's slept with his ex 2 weeks after we broke up that caused all the problems through out our relationship, and he says he did it just to spite me. I asked if he liked her and he said maybe, but he doesn't care about her feelings but cares about mine and would never use me the way he's used her. And that she's just a "hole". I asked if he was getting back together with her and he said no way, that's why he put his profile back on link removed. Talk about a knife in the heart, I can't believe someone I cared about turned out to be such a jerk! All I can think about now is that he is hanging out with her, and being with her, and I'm alone! Then I have a dream last night that she sent me a letter detailing all the times that he cheated on me with her (don't know if this happened, it was a dream) Anyone have some advice? Much appreciated. I feel like I've been stomped all over again!

[annie24]

what a jerk. my advice is: block his calls and IMs. geeezzz... you two break up and he calls you just to announce he's had sex. And now she is just "a hole." ugggg... he sounds like a slimeball.

 

forget about him, as quickly as you can. I am sorry you got involved with such a heartless jerk.

 

NO CONTACT!!!!

[thegoodgirl04]

I know, and I am still doing NC, I just don't understand how you think you know someone and then, POOF, they change into this creepy a%#hole that makes your skin crawl. The icing on the cake is that he says he did it just to spite me, nice. It just seems kind of desperate to me.

[annie24]

well, know you know not to accept any more calls from him. who knows what other lovely things he'll tell you next time. blah.

[thegoodgirl04]

I feel stupid, but this is really affecting me, I feel back to square one some days, but on other days I just think "whoa how sad".

I have an awful confession to make, I got pregnant by this person, and I decided (with his track record) to terminate the pregnancy, and guess what he was a jerk they day I had to go through the procedure, what a shocker right! Well needless to say I feel awful about it.

[itsallgrand]

I'm so sorry. That guy sounds like such a jerk!! A complete dink!

 

I hope you're well and your recovery is coming along easily. Do you have someone to help take care of you? It's such a difficult time. You made the choice that was right for you: surround yourself with ones that understand that.

Please take care.

[thegoodgirl04]

I just don't know if I'll be ever to trust anyone again.

[thegoodgirl04]

And I wish I could stop thinking about it, I know he's a jerk and I deserve way better but how do you feel better when your self esteem is crushed?

[itsallgrand]

I know you feel horrible right now. So your mind is probably racing all over the place. That's ok; just let it do its thing, but try to not worry about it to much.

 

You have suffered two big losses right in a row. That is hard for anybody.

You may not believe this now: but with each passing day it will ease up just a wee bit more, until you finding yourself thinking about him less, and enjoying things with a bigger smile, and one day you'll be surprised to see how good you feel.

 

Be really nice to yourself and let others be nice to you too. Is there anything special that makes you feel good? You deserve it. Little things like baths, walks, spending time with friends....these things really do help.

 

lots of love

[thegoodgirl04]

I know I'll get there but right now it's awful, all I keep thinking is that they are together and the awful things he said to me. When I asked him why he would sleep with someone so fast he said our relationship had been on the rocks a long time and that he was over it.

[itsallgrand]

Well, because it may help you, I will say I have been where you are. I understand how devastating it is.

 

What helped me was to hone in practical affairs. I kept constantly busy so that I wouldn't think much at all; I was too tired. Either doing something or sleeping.

I'm not sure what is on your plate right now, but there must be something that could use your attention.

I spent a lot of time on my body. I got massages. Took a lot of baths. Bought the foods that I loved. I didn't have much of an appetite at the time, so I wasn't eating properly. I made goals. They were quite small and achievable: to go to work on time. To make sure I ate three meals with at least a glass of milk. That sort of thing.

And isolation is the worse possible thing right now. Be around other people when you can.

 

i hope that helps in some way.

[Lady Bugg]

Goodgirl, that guy is a complete toolbox. (I love that saying) lol

 

IF he contacts you again....and tells you anything like this again..just laugh

and say something like..."why should I care if she's getting my sloppy seconds"....Then yawn....then of course end the call.

 

This idiot is obviously trying to get a rise out of you..why give it to him?

[CarnelianButterfly]

he says he did it just to spite me ... but he doesn't care about her feelings but cares about mine and would never use me the way he's used her.

If he cared how you felt then he wouldn't do something that would intentionally hurt you. He's not worth your effort. If he calls again hang up on him, he's just trying to get a rise out of you and cause you more pain.

[thegoodgirl04]

Haha I like that saying too! Your totally right though, it just hurts because I would never do that to anyone, I guess someday I'll find someone who would never do that to me!

[thegoodgirl04]

I know, that's what I think too, if he did care about me he would have never even told me or did it. He's obviously selfish but why try to cause me more pain, why not just leave it alone!?

[SxcLady]

ummm hun think of it this way. Yes he has a girl. No he doesnt care about her. So why does he have her? To get to you?!?! Ignore it. Move on ... get your friends go out and pick up some hott guys! LOL. Once you find yourself a bloke you really do like, You can trust again. Your self esteem will get better over time. As you heal ... so will your self esteem! Smile there are plenty of fish in the sea!

[thegoodgirl04]

Thanks everyone, you always make me feel better!!!!

[SxcLady]

You know we love you! LOL

[thegoodgirl04]

Haha thanks, for some reason last night I started to feel better, like he was just a sorry sack more than someone who broke my heart, I have really great friends to talk to (as well as my great friends here ) who have listened to my worries, concerns, sobbing and who have all said the same thing, he's no good for you. Which is true, but I was also to blame for the demise of the relationship, but when I think of it, if he didn't start lying, I would have never acted the way I did. I just don't understand how he thought lying to me about his ex would not be a big deal to me! I have to say he did put up with a lot with me and I with him, I hope one day I can look back on the fun stuff with fondness and not be so bitter about it. I look at it now and see how pathetic and sad he is I just have to hold my head up high and keep moving. I hope I don't have many more bad days, I'm tired of wasting tears on someone crappy!

[SxcLady]

LOL good! Friends are everywhere

LOL laugh at it one day when your sitting on the lounge all snug with your one true love Thats when you will be laughing!

 

I seen your post and im thinking ... not that guy again not that guy again ... damn! LOL

[thegoodgirl04]

Ha ha yes that guy again!! He's not even that cute! lol!!!!

[blender]

Hey goodgirl, seems like even though you are still "hurting" you are definitely getting some "perspective" on this guy, good for you! And as far as thinking, "if he cared about me he would have said this or that", well his hurtful actions have nothing to do with YOU, it's about HIM... he doesn't like himself deep down inside, you can be grateful that he's "this other girl's" problem now, you have been spared... and I know that soon you will look back and think, "well, that was a valuable life lesson, thank god he's gone from my life now". Leave him in the rearview mirror and look ahead...

 

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, and for now your heart may be on your sleeve, but you are certainly gaining the knowledge and the momentum to "move on"... I wouldn't answer any more of his calls, these kind of guys always plant a 'seed of ickiness" in our minds/hearts, and you don't need to "allow" that to happen anymore, you are "powerless" over him and any women he is with, and (god bless the girl who's with him now), because "no matter where HE goes, there HE is". You have been spared, be grateful, go through the tears, start the healing with strict "no contact" you are gonna be sooooo great....

 

Give yourself credit for all you have been through and know that some great, smart, confident, trusting, kind, sexy man will love you for having the "courage, brains and heart" to respect yourself enough to "move past" this guy and back to YOURSELF.... best, Blender

[thegoodgirl04]

Thanks blender that was a wonderful post!! It's almost funny to me now, I am getting there, just moments of confusion instead of hours