Loneliness or Heartbreak - You choose

[crvers]

Not too sure which category this would fall under but I have a question to everyone on this site:

 

If you had a choice which feeling would you rather have:

 

1) Be Lonely - meaning your fine with the way your life is but are missing that significant other to share it with.

 

OR

 

2) Be heartbroken - meaning you've enjoy a certain amount of time with someone fulfilling that portion of you life, and then being crushed when they left or u did something.

 

If you had to weigh the options, which would you rather have it? To live a comfortable life with what u have, or go through a year or 2 of being happy with someone only to spend the next 4-12 months after trying to stop that pain inside your chest.

 

I am not saying I feel this way, I am just curious how others feel on my take and how they would choose.

[VerySadToday]

I'd vote for heartbreak, even though it hurts beyond belief.

 

You can read my story at

 

I started dating at age 15. I dated hundreds of guys but never felt anything for any of them. It was not until age 38 that I was ever in love. Even though I am now trying to recover from a broken heart, the 2 years that we were together were the only happy years of my life.

 

I wouldn't trade those happy times for anything.

[renaissancewoman101]

Right now, at this point in time, I would rather be lonely than date someone and get my heart broken. From what I have seen from posters on here and from life itself, most relationships end and they end painfully, at least for one party. Having gone through a breakup last year, I dont want to go through that pain anytime soon. It hurts like hell and messes up one's life for a long time. I rather have more friends than have a SO right now. Pain, whether it be emotional or physical, is not fun.

 

I am not saying that I dont ever want a relationship, just not right now, esp since I just moved to a new city and am vulnerable and still am not settled in yet.

 

I dont understand how people can date, get into relationships, go through breakups and then go through that whole cycle again and again. Heartbreak is so hard to get over and so hard on your emotions.

[jman311]

It's kind of hard to answer this question without a bias when you happen to currently be completely heartbroken. I would do anything to have this pain go away right now, I would even take back the whole relationship.

 

Today is her birthday, that doesn't help. Another day struggling with NC.

[crvers]

I hear you jman311. It'll be alright. Eventually clarity will come. I have recently been going through this. There are moments that I think that the whole relationship wasn't worth it because I lost my best friend of 4 years over it.

 

But, these times define who we really are and what we are made of. If life were without pain, then there would be no struggle. Happiness without sadness. In the end everyone would never enjoy the smell of the flowers in summer because it would always just be there. U'll be alright, (preaching) time always helps. read my post Change in the Getting Back Together forum...some people put some nice posts in there that helped me a bit.

[Scotcha]

I have been both lonely and heartbroken and I would choose lonely by a landslide.

[Dako]

Being lonely is the winner by a landslide. At least you can function and enjoy life when you're lonely. Heartbreak is just waiting for pain to end.

When you're lonely you have yourself. With heartbreak, you're not even good company for yourself.

Best to avoid the whole love thing.

[jman311]

Being alone at least you are in the driver's seat ... when you are heartbroken you feel like you have no control over anything whatsoever and there is constant struggle.

 

crvers, I read your other thread "Change". Loved it!! Thanks

[trident]

Lonely. It doesn't necessarily make you super happy, but at least it's on your terms.

[jman311]

I dont understand how people can date, get into relationships, go through breakups and then go through that whole cycle again and again. Heartbreak is so hard to get over and so hard on your emotions.

 

I think on one hand it gets easier as you go, as you learn coping mechanisms and that eventually you will heal (as you've been there before).

 

On the other hand (aka how I'm feeling now) you can also learn to love more and be better at relationships through those experiences, so it can become more difficult to get over cause you can "fall harder" for someone and feel like you put a lot more effort into a relationship - to have it still fail.

[ryan1987]

i am currently feeling the devastation of heartbreak, i could only suspect how bad it would be before, but now i can legitimitly say it is the hardest part of my life, and these are tough times to endure and be optimistc, u can check my story here

 

i know there is a famous saying it is better to have love and lost than to never have loved atall, but i disagree, i think that heartbreak seriously can damage a persons health for life, and inflict huge stress which could lead to sucide or anything, i love my ex with all of my heart and wish i could be with her every day, thats what type of connection your left with, now i cant continue my life because i will always be glued to her in some way, i wish i had no connections because emotional stress and heartbreak could not connect WITH ME

[coooolsome]

I would say heartbreak. Even though I am still healing from my heartbreak, and would rather not go through it again, I have learned so much from it. I have become so much stronger and better than I ever could be from just being lonely.

 

Plus, the experiences you will have with that other person make it so much better to have. I miss my ex tremendously even after 8 months but I realized I never ever want to lose my memories of her and of our time together, not even to help fix my broken heart.

[Beyondthesea]

Being lonely. There's something you can do about it. Heartbreak there is nothing.

[Lunabelle]

Being lonely. There's something you can do about it. Heartbreak there is nothing.

 

Yep. This is exactly what I was going to offer as well.