My girl just died, I really miss her, could use some advice.

[Larry06]

my girl died recently and i really miss her but I know i should move on. for some reason every new female i meet things end really really bad. I'm wondering if maybe i'm causing it or if its just ending bad. hmmm, i wonder. also i wanted to honor my last girlfriend by making her face the first on my new website. Click on Blog and you can read my last goodbye to her. I'm having people show support by adding their picture to the site and it also helps you get hits to your homepage. if you wanna add a pic click on faq and it'll explain everything. for those who care she was shot. Thanks for the support and please tell everyone you know about this site so i can get the word out about it. Anyway, any advice would be much appreciated. i've been wondering if maybe i should just wait till my mind is fully over her before i come accross a really good girl and mess it up.

[yeawutever]

Sorry to hear that!!!!!!!!!! I'm sure she met a lot to you and wasn't fair she had to die so early at such a young age. Best wishes to her and may she rest in peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[becallamjr]

How did she die?

[Dako]

You might not be able to give a new girl the attention she needs if you're hurting. It might take some time before it's really possible to date someone new without your grief surfacing to derail your feelings.

[ak35082]

wow man! after reading your post it sort of made me realize that things can always be worse for people even though they think it couldn't be. i agree with dako...i don't how long ago it was she died but my guess is that you haven't given yourself enough time to heal.my ex didn't die but whenever we split i met all kinds of girls and treated them pretty crappy as far as using them goes.and then 3 years later i got over things and i haven't felt better and am able to move on.if i was in your shoes i would just give it as much time as possible...get busy doing things and don't even worry about dating for awhile.i know your never gonna forget her but one of these days you will be able to let go enough to move on and give someone a real chance with you.hope this helps.

[Daddy Bear]

i'm truly sorry to hear about that. so young and beautiful...

 

many people who have lost a significant other find it necessary to allow themselves whatever they feel is an appropriate period of mourning (usually around 6-12 months) before considering moving on. it sounds as though you may find such an idea helpful to yourself.

[coollady1957]

I am sorry for your loss. How old was your girlfriend when she died? Also what is your age?. You said that she was shot, was it an accident or how did it happen?

 

I can truly sympathize with you. My husband died Dec 2003, quite suddenly. It was a full 6 months before I even decided to even attempt to meet some one, even casually or as a friend.

 

I had one serious relationship that ended in disaster after that, but it had nothing to do with my not being over my husbands death. That my friend ,is a whole other story on the break up.

 

Give your self plenty of time. Every one is different in the grief process.

 

It does get easier to deal with , in time. However, there are always times when the pain resurfaces on special days or occasions. We can always hold a special place in our hearts for our loved ones that have passed away, but we do eventually learn that life must go on.

[RayKay]

Hey Larry,

 

When I was 22, my boyfriend of five years died quite unexpectedly and tragically after a short illness just two weeks before his 26th birthday. It was very scary, very traumatic and it changed my life.

 

All I can say is it will take time to heal, and now is the time to turn to friends and family in your life for support. Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve...you will do it as it feels right to you on your own time.

 

Grief counselling can be very beneficial - there is both support groups out there available, as well as individual sessions.

 

Don't rush into anything - it's a natural reaction to replace the loss, but just...take the time. Honour her in your own way - it's okay to keep some memories. And in time, things DO get better, and you heal - you never forget though.

 

I can honestly say the experience had me grow in ways I may never have otherwise, it's not an experience I wish anyone else to go through, but it is one that has made me who I am. My priorities changed, my outlook has changed, and I have a lot more love and compassion.

 

I had some relationships that ended badly after it, but it was not due to my ex's death. I have since found myself in a wonderful relationship which is truly enriching and loving. Things do get better.

[Lunabelle]

An experienced Grief Counselor can really help you. It's of limited duration -- usually you know when you are done with it -- and it can really help you understand your feelings.

[robowarrior]

I can only hope that your post wasn't purely made up and designed to attract people to your website, and quite honestly i think that is a very disturbing factor that it should gain popularity over the dead body of your girlfriend. Not that i want to be offensive, but i've had happen it to me where my ex-gf lied over the death over parents just to get my attention. But for the sake of the argument lets say your post is real.

 

I personally think that you shouldn't worry about the fact that everyone who you come into contact with has a bad experience, pure coinsidence if you ask me. You see , its useless to worry about the things in life that you don't have under your control, you can only pray to the lord about those. You should only be busy with those things that you can change in your life.

 

With that said, i always say the following. Imagine you had died, would you like to see your lost loved ones crying and grieving for many years to come? Of course not , you would want them to live their life to the fullest and be happy. So instead of dying for your lost loved once, start LIVING for them.

[Larry06]

Hey, to answer some of the questions.

 

I put her pic on that site for the same reason you have one at a funeral. its just done in remembrance, and this is how i choose to remember her. If someone took it offensive that i wanted people to see her and read how i felt my apologies to that person. I meant no harm from it.

 

She died because she was shot. her brother actually shot her and when they caught hiim he said his reason was because he didnt wanna see her sad anymore of their mother passing. he also said he was happy he did it cuz she wasnt in pain any more. but I dont think thats what he told police becuz he's out on bail. I dont think we'll be seeing him again though.

 

Thanks to everyone for the words. and i have found work to be helpful. Since losing her i've kinda thrown myself into my work with project after project including the website i made for her and several others and then I run an agency and im a real estate investor so I'm pretty much drained at the end of the day and it sux cuz i just moved into a new house that was sposed to be for both of us now i gotta live in it alone. I hate that feeling. mite have to move again cuz the house is a bit bigger than what i need by myself. she liked to cook so it has two kitchens, also a movie theater and a exercize room and as i said way more space than i could ever need. But I guess this is just life. cant do nutn but take it and move foreward.

[yeawutever]

Well her brother ruin both her and his life. She was so young and now he's gonna spend the rest of his life lock up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How sad to hear that, hopefully she can finally rest in peace. Sorry this is short, can't think of any more words now!!!!!!!!!!!!!