estrella28 Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Finally a woman who doesn't have a list with dozens of points... Hey I only have seven. Link to comment
hers Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Finally a woman who doesn't have a list with dozens of points... yeah, maybe i overdid it? ha Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 You know what? I don't really have a list, so to speak. The most important thing to me is HONESTY. I just want a "stand up" kinda guy...one who is MOST of all HONEST. Someone who will never hurt my soul. Someone who I connect with on both an emotional and physical level. Someone who I NEVER have to worry whether or not they are going to come home to me or not. Someone who I NEVER have to worry whether they have been with another woman or not. Someone who has my back. Because I'll always have theirs. Link to comment
brahman Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Big butt Skinny body Decent boobs, (not ginormous) My height maybe shorter (not taller) {looks around} "oh, you were looking for something else" I just want to love her and she love me, I have no idea what she will look like or talk like or act like. Really to define it like that is the start to a great failure. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted March 5, 2008 Author Share Posted March 5, 2008 You know what? I don't really have a list, so to speak. The most important thing to me is HONESTY. I just want a "stand up" kinda guy...one who is MOST of all HONEST. Someone who will never hurt my soul. Someone who I connect with on both an emotional and physical level. Someone who I NEVER have to worry whether or not they are going to come home to me or not. Someone who I NEVER have to worry whether they have been with another woman or not. Someone who has my back. Because I'll always have theirs. I hear that! That's my dream, too. Link to comment
estrella28 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 But brahman, sometimes two people can love each other and it still won't work out. For instance, if I desperately love a guy, and he desperately loves me, but he's a compulsively-lying carnivore who detests kids, well, there's just no way it could work. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 LOL i had a list: MUST Love my dogs Similar IQ Must make me laugh I want to make him laugh Honesty Appropriate level of ambition oh and yea He must love me! LOL Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 what constitutes a similar IQ? the number rating? Link to comment
brahman Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 But brahman, sometimes two people can love each other and it still won't work out. For instance, if I desperately love a guy, and he desperately loves me, but he's a compulsively-lying carnivore who detests kids, well, there's just no way it could work. I do see your point, but only allowing yourself to go out with people who meet a rigid criteria of what you think they should be a partner will definitely hold you back. I'm not saying that you should say next to any wanna be hitler that asks you out, but just because they don't have a great since of humor, or perhaps aren't tall and strong mean that they get a no as well. Certain issues like kids and religion should be of the same concerns for the both of, but not everything must match. I mean are we really starting to believe tat opposites don't attract? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 I do see your point, but only allowing yourself to go out with people who meet a rigid criteria of what you think they should be a partner will definitely hold you back. I'm not saying that you should say next to any wanna be hitler that asks you out, but just because they don't have a great since of humor, or perhaps aren't tall and strong mean that they get a no as well. Certain issues like kids and religion should be of the same concerns for the both of, but not everything must match. I mean are we really starting to believe tat opposites don't attract? there are certain things i can tolerate. if she is attractive, works out, smart, funny, but is a bit insecure, i can deal with that. but if she is a liar, peace out. you can't trade that in. and i think it's great to have a list of preferences. it shows character in yourself that you know what you want. i know it's a ford pinto, might be a fantastic car, but who wants to drive one? maybe someone does, but not me. it's just not my type. Link to comment
kenshinkitten Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 He needs to be funny and make me laugh. Smart-some level of intelligence is key. Goofy-I'm weird I need someone to be able to keep up with me. Cute-I need to be able to look at him and feel giddy and want to kiss kiss him. Not too fit-Ugh muscles gross, give me a gamer boy anyday. Taller than me...and not skinner then me, I'll feel fat... I'm sure there is more but based on this my bf is perfect. Link to comment
Maya_A Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Brahman wrote: I just want to love her and she love me, I have no idea what she will look like or talk like or act like. Really to define it like that is the start to a great failure. ^^^ I think to over list can make things difficult, yes. To separate on that list, the "would be nice if" from the most important non negotiables is important. The whole list concept is a tool that is used often in manifestation & relationships. Just IMHO I think to have no list at all is going too far the other way... Again, no harm in listing all desirable qualities (I think we are more likely to attract that way rather than with no list) but impt. is to separate the "must be" or "must haves" from simply the "would be nice if".... The list non negotiables should be a lot smaller. Link to comment
brahman Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 You know that is more what I meant. know what must be there, but don't turn your back to someone just because you think they have to be this perfect icon/trophy that meets your every need. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 LOL i had a list: MUST Love my dogs Similar IQ Must make me laugh I want to make him laugh Honesty Appropriate level of ambition oh and yea He must love me! LOL My only requirement in a man is that he have a very low IQ. Link to comment
estrella28 Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Haha what miss firecracker?? Link to comment
estrella28 Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Mine is pretty short: 1. madly in love with me 2. extremely attractive 3. honest 4. ambitious 5. wants a family 6. emotionally mature 7. fun to spend time with Yup...that pretty much covers it. BTW I just realized the ex that I've been pining over obsessively only has qualities 4 and 7. He was fairly attractive but a lot of things bothered me about him (he's short, has a unibrow, has lots of blackheads, and weird teeth). He said he wanted a family at one point but then changed that halfway through. So he doesn't meet 2 or 5. He never loved me, so he doesn't meet 1. He lied to me about his feelings throughout our entire relationship, so he doesn't meet 3. He has low self-esteem and self-efficacy and is extremely passive aggressive, so he doesn't meet 6. All in all, probably for the best that we're not together anymore, I'd say! Link to comment
onewithbooks Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Finally a woman who doesn't have a list with dozens of points... Thank you for the compliment. I am sure there are more, but those are the main dealbreakers. If one of those are missing there is a good chance I wouldnt go on a date with him. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 what constitutes a similar IQ? the number rating? No....similar intelligence. I can tell in one night out of conversing if someone is going to be able to stimulate me intellectually. I'm not worried about a number, i just like to talk about a lot of different things and am looking for a guy who is on par with that. We don't even have to know about the same TYPES of things but to me it is more interesting to be with a guy who is intellectually my equal. And i am not saying i am this big intellectual myself...i am jsut saying i want someone who is on par with me. If i ahd a 100 pt IQ or a 150 pt IQ i'd feel the same... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 No....similar intelligence. I can tell in one night out of conversing if someone is going to be able to stimulate me intellectually. I'm not worried about a number, i just like to talk about a lot of different things and am looking for a guy who is on par with that. We don't even have to know about the same TYPES of things but to me it is more interesting to be with a guy who is intellectually my equal. And i am not saying i am this big intellectual myself...i am jsut saying i want someone who is on par with me. If i ahd a 100 pt IQ or a 150 pt IQ i'd feel the same... ohhhhhh K. so basically someone interesting enough to keep your attention; which has nothing to do with the same level of intelligence. Link to comment
estrella28 Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 ghost, intelligence has a lot to do with someone being interesting. People of a lower intelligence level are not likely to have made the connections between events that move a story from dull to interesting/surprising, and they are also not likely to have the meta-awareness necessary for deeper emotional or personal conversations. If I feel like I can't fully express myself to someone because they're not intelligent enough to understand most of the things I say, then that would obviously be unacceptable for someone you're hoping to live your life with. Likewise, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who was light years ahead of me in intelligence, because it would make me feel weak, confused, and bad about myself. I think the best situation is to find someone equally as intelligent as you are, but with different experiences, so that you both have a lot to teach each other, but both of you are also able to learn. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 I agree. Somebody also mentioned about IQ...but not everyone knows their IQ except perhaps people who have this great need to get into Mensa! Also, having a high IQ doesn't necessarily make you intelligent...it just means you are able to pass those IQ tests. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 some people that aren't what is considered intelligent are very interesting. i think it's poor to associate the two. because someone isn't book smart or doesn't know everything that you do isn't interesting? come on, seriously. Link to comment
brahman Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 I agree with ghost69 here, there so many types of smart that to put a freagin number on it is retarded. Like if someone is a genus(Number) but does have the capacity to run a Burger King, does that make them stupid? Or if the GM of an old navy store that makes 65K a year can't pass college level math classes so they can get there bachelors and move up in the company make them stupid? It is all relative. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted March 8, 2008 Author Share Posted March 8, 2008 My only requirement in a man is that he have a very low IQ. Haha. Ok, ok, that has been on my "unofficial, off the record" list. It's a part that's been revised. I want him to be smart. Smarts are relative; I just want to be able to feel engaged by his mind. A big non-negotiable for me: Kindness and generosity. Nothing better than a man with a big heart. Link to comment
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