Same sex adoption

[dont_know_what_2_say]

what do you think?? should same sex couples be able to adopt children or not?

I just wanted to get people's opinions because i'm doing a project on that.

[xtina]

i think they should. it is better for a child to live in a welcome home than being an orphan. People say that they will be looked differently at school blah blah but i dont think they care, because of the way the child would be brought up. Soooooo I'm for it!

[AwdreeHpburn]

In my opinion children already grow up in such a variety of situations. I don't think same sex parents has anything to do with anything. It won't make the child gay.

 

Oh....wait tho - it may teach the child tolerance and expose them to diversity so I don't know....

 

Yes. I think they should, unless the couple is abusive. Then no, they shouldn't.

[Day_Walker]

Yes I believe that same sex couples should be able to adopt. Two loving parents is portrayed to be the most ideal situation for a child to grow up in.

[xtina]

Yes I believe that same sex couples should be able to adopt. Two loving parents is portrayed to be the most ideal situation for a child to grow up in.

 

expecially when they are gay because for some odd reason they seem so much nicer.

[Tigris]

I think they should too!

 

It's better for a child to live in an atmosphere of calm and stability than to be put in an orphanage or into long term care. They get better opportunities and learn to develop their interpersonal skills. They also learn to feel loved.

[RayKay]

I believe that they definitely should be able to....my brother is gay & I know him and his partner will make wonderful parents (they are looking at surrogacy or adoption). I really hope, and want them to have a family....those children will be very loved by them, and the entire family.

 

I think there are so many children in this world without family, I do not understand why it can be considred wrong to allow them to be adopted in a loving family (even if the parents are both the same sex!) yet it's okay to let them jump from foster home to foster home or be deemed "unadoptable" or miss out on a stable environment.

 

Gay parents are no more or less likely to be abusive, or bad parents then straight couples. At least with adoption there is a screening process as to whom is given a child or not! Nor are you any more likely to "be" gay. My parents, grandparents and all other siblings are straight...my brother is not. It's not something you "choose" to be. I know plenty of gay children born to straight parents, and straight children born to a gay father/mother (which came out later) and brought up with a father or mother and their partner.

[BellaDonna]

I believe that same sex couples should be able to adopt.

 

Most gay individuals have been raised by straight parents- and it did not turn them straight- so I think when people state that being raised by gay parents will turn a child gay- it is totally unfounded. Not to mention- if the child did "turn out" gay- so what!

 

I think a child will do best in a loving home. Loving homes can consist of same sex parents. And if they are adopting, they obviously really WANT a child. There are plenty of unhappy homes where children are not wanted- and that's where the real problems are.

 

 

BellaDonna

[tyler711]

I can't fathom ever being raised by gay parents. I disagree. I do like the idea of crack babies and teen pregnancies getting a decent home and a better shot at life, though. That's something for me to ponder. Maybe I'm to traditional, but one thing I look forward to in life is hopefully having a son. Teaching him to hunt, fish, work on cars, work hard, play catch, be his soccer coach, like my father was to me. Is it fair to put a little boy that wants to climb trees and shoot BB guns with gay parents that would rather take him shopping or out for a pedicure?

[xtina]

I can't fathom ever being raised by gay parents. I disagree. I do like the idea of crack babies and teen pregnancies getting a decent home and a better shot at life, though. That's something for me to ponder. Maybe I'm to traditional, but one thing I look forward to in life is hopefully having a son. Teaching him to hunt, fish, work on cars, work hard, play catch, be his soccer coach, like my father was to me. Is it fair to put a little boy that wants to climb trees and shoot BB guns with gay parents that would rather take him shopping or out for a pedicure?

 

woooooow! Don't generalise there, ok? Someone to be gay is not the same thing as someone gay you see in television. a homosexual is not always a woman inside a man's body - and also be aware that there are woman who like soccer, and who like hunting and all. My uncle is not all girly like. I would have NEVER guessed he was gay if he didn't tell me. He works out and works in a pub just like any man but he is in fact gay and has a partner.

 

I think gay parents are aware that their son is not gay, so why would they make the kid gay? I think they would do EVERYTHING they can to make them as "normal" as possible.

[RayKay]

I can't fathom ever being raised by gay parents. I disagree. I do like the idea of crack babies and teen pregnancies getting a decent home and a better shot at life, though. That's something for me to ponder. Maybe I'm to traditional, but one thing I look forward to in life is hopefully having a son. Teaching him to hunt, fish, work on cars, work hard, play catch, be his soccer coach, like my father was to me. Is it fair to put a little boy that wants to climb trees and shoot BB guns with gay parents that would rather take him shopping or out for a pedicure?

 

Now if that isn't a huge stereotyping/generalization if I ever saw one.

 

Do you honestly think that gay men are not "into" cars, dirtbikes, camping, playing catch with their kids, being their kid's coach, and fishing? Because if that is the case, I think you would be alarmed at the fact that there are plenty of gay men whom indeed are, and you would never "guess" as being gay and are just as "masculine" as Joe Six Pack. There are men I know whom came out that no one even thought as being gay before they did because they were so "traditionally masculine".

 

Sorry, but that was absolutely ridiculous....being gay is not automatically being like you see on Q*eer Eye for The Straight Guy or Will & Grace.

 

 

[xtina]

Now if that isn't a huge stereotyping/generalization if I ever saw one.

 

Do you honestly think that gay men are not "into" cars, dirtbikes, camping, playing catch with their kids, being their kid's coach, and fishing? Because if that is the case, I think you would be alarmed at the fact that there are plenty of gay men whom indeed are, and you would never "guess" as being gay.

 

Sorry, but that was absolutely ridiculous.

 

 

 

 

haha and to go with that. Some are even more manly than any other guy (sorry i had to say that)

[dont_know_what_2_say]

what do you think about kids being teased at school because of that? what would you say to people who argue, that children who are being adopted by same sex parents, are bound to be teased and ridiculed by their schoolmates?

[BellaDonna]

First of all- I can think of plenty of straight men who do not take their sons fishing, hunting, racing, etc. I can think of plenty deadbeat dads. Being heterosexual or homosexual is not going to determine your hobbies. What do activities in your bedroom have to do with going fishing? Don't buy into the feminine stereotypes of gay men that you see on TV....TV does not portray a reality of gay or straight people-

 

what do you think about kids being teased at school because of that? what would you say to people who argue, that children who are being adopted by same sex parents, are bound to be teased and ridiculed by their schoolmates?

 

What child does not get teased? If there is a bully, he/she will find a reason to pick on a child, no matter what. I had straight parents and I was bullied relentlessly in elementary school. I do think gay parents may need to be quite sensitive to the issue of bullying, and ways it can be combated and dealt with via the school administrators. But if there's some obnoxious brat of a child that bullies other children in the class- it's going to happen whether those kids parents are gay or straight.

 

BellaDonna

[RayKay]

Exactly. My parents were straight, did not stop me from being bullied...if a kid is a bully they will tease you for anything and everything.

 

I think you would be surprised at how children are very tolerant...unless they are taught NOT to be. I actually know a couple kids raised in households with two fathers or two mothers.....and they were never teased for that even if the others kids knew about it.

 

Perhaps instead of worrying about whether a children without a home would be bullied for being adopted by loving parents whom happen to be gay, we should worry more about teaching tolerance and acceptance to children at a young age.

[dont_know_what_2_say]

thank you for your replies, I didn't know what to answer when someone asked me about children being bullied at school because of it, but you guys gave me a nice way to answer it

I'm having a persuasion speech about it, in two weeks, and I am to debate the subject with a girl that is against same sex adoption.

if anyone else has any other opinions on the subject, it would be really appreciated

[tyler711]

What child does not get teased? If there is a bully, he/she will find a reason to pick on a child, no matter what

 

Sounds like a dodgy answer. The kid with gay parents is a lot more likely to receive teasing than the fat kid or the smart kid with glasses. Suppose there is a normal kid, ashamed of his gay parents, and he is alienated. He doesn't want to play sports, go to parent/teacher meetings, etc. because he is ashamed of someone finding out. Now suppose that there are kids in this school hellbent on tormenting him because of this. They are instantly the prime target. I'm not speculating, this happens all the time. In high school, there was a gay guy, he was nice enough, but he was bullied relentlessly. Another student with gay parents, same thing. A teacher was gay, no one was comfortable around them. Maybe I live in a part of the country that's slow to change, but a child with gay parents will not be bullied, he will be tormented. I'm not xenophobic or homophobic, I really don't care about other people's lifestyles, just giving you a different perspective for your debate. I would suggest posting this on a different type of forum to get a more well-rounded report. No one answer is right. Most of the topics and replies on a love website are bound to be pretty liberal. Good luck.

[xtina]

Orphans would also be tormented/bulied at school because they have no parents. They would be sad to see other children with lovable parents, and I trully believe that they would be more than happy to live in a home with loving people.

 

And I think she is trying to get other people's prespective for her project

[RayKay]

It's not a dodgy answer. Kids whom are bullies will bully children no matter what. I was bullied because I had red hair...what kind of ridiculous reason is that?

 

You however dodged my question...why don't we aim to teach more tolerance and acceptance rather then depriving children of loving families?

 

I have yet to meet someone with gay parents whom is ashamed of their parents..they are tolerant and accepting, they are THEIR parents. That is what they KNOW. They have nothing to be ashamed of for that, only if they are taught it is..that's where tolerance comes in. I appreciate your experience may be different, but it's not the rule. I went to high school with several students whom were openly gay, and they were not tormented or bullied for it. But that has nothing to do with a child being adopted by gay parents anyway, so I am not even sure why you introduced it. Having gay parents does not make a child gay. And what of those children whom are born into a "straight family" where one parent later comes out (and it happens)....should they be "rescued" from that family? Is the love they receive from their parents suddenly any less enriching and nurturing? No.

 

P.S. My brother is gay. He did get teased. He then also stood up for himself as he is proud of whom he is and turned it back on the person bullying him. That was the end of it. Bullies are more insecure about themselves then anything, I think most children whom are bullied learn this themselves in life.

[BellaDonna]

Suppose there is a normal kid, ashamed of his gay parents, and he is alienated. He doesn't want to play sports, go to parent/teacher meetings, etc. because he is ashamed of someone finding out

 

If a child was raised with gay parents from a young age- it is totally "normal" to him. He would not have anything to be ashamed of. To the child it would be nothing to "find out". It's just every day reality for that child. Children don't form stereotypes and insecurities unless society makes them feel that way.

 

Yes, there are ignorant people that may be more likely to bully someone with gay parents. There will also be bullies that make fun of kids with special needs/disabilities in their schools, and make fun anyone else that doesn't fit in.

 

That's why I believe that if there is someone with a bully mentality- they will FIND a reason to act low and to pick on people, whether it's because of their gay parents, their glasses, what they brought for lunch, etc. They want to degrade other people to make themselves feel better, so they will find someone to degrade.

 

The solution to prevent bullying is not to restrict same sex adoptions, in fear that the adopted kids will be bullied. That's the passive way of preventing bullying. The active way is to not allow bullying to be tolerated in schools- for any reason.

 

I'm not xenophobic or homophobic

 

You may be a little uncomfortable with gay people though because in the quote above, you referred to the "NORMAL kid who is ashamed of his GAY parents" You made a contrast there between normal and gay..... I'm not saying it was on purpose...but it was there.

 

 

BellaDonna

[dont_know_what_2_say]

I agree with you guys, it wouldn't be fair for children, not to have loving parents just because of people worrying about them being bullied at school (which shouldnt happen at all),

thank you all for ur inputs, it really helped me a lot

[MI_Shell]

I have to say that from personal experience as a child that this was a horrendous experience for too many reasons that I could name. It was horrible and I do not carry a prejudice against gays, I have some lovely gay friends but as a child my experience of gay parenting was awful and I don't think you can ever replace having a male and female parent (bearing in mind that they are decent parents).

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I'm for it if the parents-to-be are willing to be supportive of their kid financially, emotionally and also willing to prepare him/her for the inevitable questions they will face as they grow up..