xtina
Members-
Posts
196 -
Joined
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Articles
Videos
Blogs
Store
Everything posted by xtina
-
Im sorry to hear that lovereality.. thanks for sharing
-
I'm not seeking for advice. But i really miss my mother.
-
have no idea - google it or something
-
thanks for the comments guys.
-
in real life? i really respect her. she is a very caring, happy, funny and adventerous person. Very easy to talk to, and always tries her best to make everyone elses life better (not concentrating much on herself). And I can really relate myself to her.
-
haha yeah.. just thought someone could give a second opinion
-
I usually have very vivid dreams which interpret stuff about how im feeling, or stuff that may happen and should look consider about. This night i had a very weird, simple and interesting dream. I woke up in my bedroom, and looked at it; it was all white, unused, the walls were has a bit of mold, dusty, some furnitures gone and it's mark on the wall (due to dust), but other furniture remained. The room was also a bit bigger. Here, there was this very caring person i met recently. I was questioning her why my room was like this out of the blues (me being all confused). What she did was simply go around and ask what happened, and she managed to get my furniture back. Out of the blues, my heart started beating hard and fast, like trying to get out of my body, and i was freaked out, and was on my knees with my hand on my chest. She helped me get through it. Other random things happened in this dream, but this episode was what really incraved my mind. I started thinking about what it could mean, and came to the conclusion that the room represents my messy life, where stuff are missing, like parental love and care. She came into my life, and will in the future help me get through hard times and get this love and care back. It looks so straight forward, but i wonder what you guys think about this. How would you interpret it?
-
I do smoke joints occasionally - but i dont think thats the source of the problem, because i dont smoke much. The paranoia did emerge gradually... the older i get the more awareness i have about myself and whats around me.
-
ok, so maybe your not the skinniest girl in the neibourhood, but man not eating makes you unhealthy, makes you get a low self-esteem, it just makes like worst, because the only thing you will end up thinking about it food. Also, the faster you lose weight, the faster you will gain it. Dear, please think about this. Don't starve yourself. Eat healthy stuff - it will make you feel better. I know its hard in the beggining, but once you start it's much easier, you'll feel better about yourself, and no more cutting! Ive been in both those situations by the way, and i know its hard and not fun.
-
My mind is killing me. I'm a danger to myself and its getting me crazy! I'm becoming paranoid - always hear someone behind me when there is no one. I also try to get into people's head and try to find out how they think, how they are, what they would think, etc, etc, etc, and this had made even more paranoid - if i do this what will they think, what if i do that? Then i cant stay at home, im not confortable with guys, and im always paranoid about where they are looking at, and i always think they are seeing me naked or something - like being abused in they mind. I take showers every single day, sometimes 2 a day, sometimes even 3 times because i feel so disgusted! Then there is also the fact that i analyse too much! people tell me stuff, my mind starts going somewhere else.. i always ahead... like a teacher dictating me something, i start thinking about what it could mean, and forming all these random theories, and then i have to concentrate in writing it, but i simply cant because im not really listening... This type of stuff is getting me nuts! I can't live like this... always paranoid, always thinking ahead, not being able to concentrate, not being able to live at home with my father... i feel so alone, and there is nothing i can do about it.. i tried to not think like that, but it has come to a stage that my mind is in such a mess i dunno what to do with it, how to think, whats moral, whats right, whats wrong. I just want to end my life! i hate thinking like this... and i know i will regret if i try/do it. But i dont know what else to do. Whats wrong with me?! why cant i simply be a normal human being?! im so scared.
-
Dont cut! dont start again! dont even think about it! and woman - eat. make yourself healthier, and make your parents and boyfriend happy... youll end up happy and you wont be thinking about cutting.
-
I would... no problem! but then i would try and get her out of the closet while dating and making her more confortable
-
yeah you do sound angry... Thanks for the comment and all.. but what?! Among the many things you said, the weirdest one was the last one - there is nothing wrong with wanting to have sex with every girl you see - where did you get that from?
-
yeah sad and stupid - can't help it, and he doesn't diserve it. My father is like the oposite of my mother - she used to shout at me and hurt me and all, and my father was always there to protect me. However, my step-father did in fact hurt my mom, and i hated being alone with him, because i was so scared. Everything disgusts me about my dad; the way he eats, talks, walks and breaths.. its very unfair and i feel so guilty. Over the years i have tried to not care about these little things, but i can't do it anymore. so what im trying to say is that because of my past with my step-father and other guys who have abused me, and because i was always independent, did everything alone basically - i grew up fast and all - i see my father as any other 50 year old single man who wants a chick. And this thought, this feeling, makes me digust him - but i partly know that he is not like that...
-
No I'm not adopted - just to be clear, because the title can be misleading. This is more of a ranking thread. But the issue is this; parents are divorced, and lived alone with my father since I was 6. We used to have a great relationship, until I started to be depressed, self-injured and was suicidal. But that phase is over, and now I'm completely fine. Fine? Well, I have to admit my paranoias and phobias has increased. Phobias of closed places for example. But the case here is that I have phobia with men generaly - not every single men, and it's not sucha big phobia, but it's more that I'm not confortable with men in my room, or walking near me, touching me, hugging me... you name it. My father is already in his 50's, and each day he digusts me even more. Normal? I don't think so. I have no one to really rank about this, because my friends don't have the same kind of past that I had with guys/men. Anyone has felt this? Ah, I wish there was something I could do to change these feelings. But I just can't help it... at least I'm going to go to another country (uni) in around a year - which is good! Any comments or advices to control these feelings?
-
Ok, first of all you shouldn't be going to websites and see what disorder you have. It's very psycological, because when you read the symptoms you start having them and stuff. So you better only ask your psychologist about that and not the internet. How did you get depressed by the way?
- 2 replies
-
- education
- depression
-
(and 4 more)
Tagged with:
-
I need some help/advice!!!
xtina replied to NewOne's topic in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
If things have got to this extenct, I have to agree with annie. This is a very delicate situation. If things go further then she might get fired, and you could get hurt. Are you sure she feels the same? -
It is very hard to stop people from cutting because its an adiction and they have to want it themselves. Talking to their parents/school could make things worst (it did to me). You have to sit them down and talk seriously about it. Ask her to see a counceler who could help - it doesnt mean they are mad! Its good to have someone to talk to. Give her all your support! Never stop "being there" for her, because feeling alone is horrible and she can feel like its her fault you know? Try to convince her to do sports and stuff to release stress anger and stuff. Well I'm talking from personal experience. Good luck
-
I hope she is good, even if she is in another world. I didn't know her that well, but my thoughts are towards her close friends and family. My sympathy. Man, death always makes people wake up, and realise life is short...
-
I don't understand whats wrong with me... (again). I keep having these awful huge mood swings. Sometimes I'm really positive and love being around people and all. Nowadays, probably because of stress, I've been really irritable and scared. I've been losing my patience so fast with all my close friends, making them all feel bad. I know they are talking about my behaviour these days.. I know it because I know how gossiping people they are. I feel they are losing pacience with my mood swings and I'm scared to push everyone away from me... expecially when I'm moving away from them. At home as well. My father keep trying to talk to me and start a conversation, but in the end he starts making a fool of himself because I don't answer or look at his face, or laugh at his jokes. I've been having awful headackes these days, feel frustrated because I can't concentrate properly, and being so dramatic about everything. I have so much anger in me and I don't know why. I feel like I'm going to burst and now that I'm at home, just feel like sleeping or crying. But then I can't because of the amount of homework I have. I don't know what to do. I'm so scared to be left alone in the end because people lose patience with me as I keep snapping things at them, or not sayin anything at all, because everything that comes out of my mouth seems to be wrong. Bah. I feel so tired about this. It would be helpful to see a psicologist just to talk... but they are pretty expensive, and if I went to the school one.. people would talk. And I have already too much past experiences on SI and stuff for people to talk about.. It continues even if it was 3 years ago and that for me now is past. But my class "mates" looove to talk about this because it's such a big "thing"... still, even if I changed so much since then.
-
My Girlfriend Passed Away...It Hurts too Much to cry...
xtina replied to chris67's topic in Grief Loss and Bereavement
She sounds like an angel =) Sounds like she loved you a lot as well, and I bet she is looking after you right now. She will always remain in your heart, and she will always be there for you when you need her. I'm sure of it. Cry if you need, it makes anyone feel better. She will be by your side caring for you. She may not be present physically but she is there. I'm sorry for this loss. I also suffered the loss of a loved one exacly a week ago and I know it's very hard. Sometimes it's good to take long walks a long the beach or the woods - away from civilization. Though sometimes is also good to go to the middle of the city and watch people, get your mind busy with their actions and all. Don't stay at home all the time, cause you can feel even more numb. Take care, many here are thinking about you and if you need anything just message me. -
sumguy - thanks for the advice. I shall do that. rose - you made me cry again (in a good girly emotional way). thanks =)
- 5 replies
-
- grandparent
- mother
-
(and 2 more)
Tagged with:
-
I used to feel the same way. It is an awful feeling I know, but you have to trust me with all your heart that this feeling will pass. Don't let this feeling get over you, fight it, because you are alive. Life is too precious to be feeling like this. I'm telling all of this and I don't even know what happened. =/ Hope things get better.
-
My grandfather passed away yesterday. At least he wont suffer anymore. I've cryed so much yesterday that today I woke up with very small eyes. What creeps me out, is that before yesterday I had a little blackout and I had this vision that my grandfather passed away and then I called a friend to meet up with me. The next day he dies. The funeral is on Wednesday in Madeira. I'm going after a lot of fighting and crying. My father told me that he couldn't afford the flight there, and so i started treating him in a disrespectful way, because I wanted to see my grandfather for the last time and be with my family and all. Then my mom calls me and starts making me feel guilty for not going. It was the worst night I had. I had horrible thoughts going through my mind, like SI, and stuff. But no, I controlled myself. Finally I got a reservation, but I seriously hurt my father's feelings, which is not good at all because he does NOT deserve it. And I will probably hurt my mother's feelings because I don't want to stay with her (live with her) during these three days because she will make me feel worst than what I already am. So in other words, I feel like a very, very... very bad person.
- 5 replies
-
- grandparent
- mother
-
(and 2 more)
Tagged with: