He is going to leave I know it

[seally]

Seroiusly I don't know what to do. My boyfriend and I have been going through a rocky patch the last 4 weeks to the point where this weekend it was kinda make or break for us. He came up to see me (I'm in uni) and it seemed to be great but now he is being very very cold and distant. I think he'll break up with me. I don't know what to do. The trouble is its all my fault, I suggested breaking up after this weekend, I said I couldn't cope with the fighting, I said I was feeling less for him etc It was alll true but when i actually saw him and reliased what i might lose i reliased i was stupid. I have never felt this way about a person and i don't know what to do to win him back. I'm just so scared.

[musicguy]

what do you guys fight a lot about?

[magikal]

Well just telling him how you feel, tell him that your sorry and that he's everything that you've ever wanted and you just forgot how lucky you were.

[DN]

Tell him you are sorry that you reacted that way and that you don't want to lose him but you do want a relationship without the fighting. Ask him to work with you to get things on track so that you are both happy.

 

It is of no use to stop the break up if you don't solve the problems that nearly caused it.

[seally]

what do you guys fight a lot about?

 

Mainly him. The fact he hasn't got a decent career that he's in debt and mainly the fact that the few times I do see him he falls asleep (he works nights)

[DN]

Mainly him. The fact he hasn't got a decent career that he's in debt and mainly the fact that the few times I do see him he falls asleep (he works nights)

 

Hmmm, be careful that you don't appear to be overly concerned about his financial status. It is ok to be concerned for him and his well-being but it looks bad if it appears you are judging him for it in regards to his suitability as a boyfriend.

[musicguy]

my friend's husband works nights n she works during the day and they mke it work out. As for the finances, we all have debt.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

I am so sorry you have been having a hard lately. (((hugs))) Maybe instead of nagging him about his life and some of his shortcomings at the moment, offer to help him and support him. No one likes to be constantly reminded about what he/she has done wrong and their deficits. People thrive on support and encouragement. He probably acting cold and distant because he feels he is not getting the support he needs from you.

 

Talk to him again about your fears and that you said a few things you did not mean really stress you want to work things out. And offer to let him tell you what on his mind as well and come up with a solution. Every relationship hits a rocky patch but understanding and communication are two components that nuture a bad patch. I wish you all the best and take care. Keep us posted on how things turned out and how you are doing.

[xblondyx]

Just talk it through. Say you don't want to lose him but things need to change.

[seally]

No for a year I have been nursing £5000 debt and we are only 20 for god's sake. We can't go out, do stuff etc. I'm sick of it, sick of everything. We just fought again cos he said he'd talk to me online and slept throught it. I haven't spoken to him except for 1 min (literally) on a pay phone! I hate him soo much. I'm so down and he know it but it won't spare me half an hour before work, I HATE HIM ](*,)

[Pixiemeat]

I know what you mean about the uni debt, we're all in it.

 

As for the relationship, if it's making you this unhappy and you feel this unimportant to him (I have had moments of this with my boyfriend, and it really is terrible feeling that they don't take you or the relationship seriously), then I would suggest breaking up. You should be happy.

[mandaryn]

Although his financial life isn't great, he may have potential, don't count him out, it's easy to fall behind when your still young. Tell him you love him, and that you were wrong about the break-up idea. Tell him what you told us. If he's the right guy, he's probably missin' you real bad too.

[Polypeptide]

I'm going through the same thing. With the endless fightings I think taking a break is the only way to improve. The fightings will damage the relationship until no love is left. I hope to take a break when there's still some love.

 

But I don't have the courage to say it. I am afraid the moment we take a break I'll realize it's a mistake. But I'll be devastated if I can't get him back.

[seally]

But I don't have the courage to say it. I am afraid the moment we take a break I'll realize it's a mistake. But I'll be devastated if I can't get him back.

 

I feel the same. I don't want to lose him completely just him to get his life in gear. Over the last few days he has shown improvement but we can only wait and see what happens in future.

[Polypeptide]

I feel the same. I don't want to lose him completely just him to get his life in gear. Over the last few days he has shown improvement but we can only wait and see what happens in future.

 

Good for you. My bf has shown improvements little by little. Me too I can only wait and see what happens in the future.

 

Just by letting him know I'm considering break up if everything stays the same and I'm unhappy. We are trying to put effort in improvement.

 

Good luck. Keep me update on ur situation