He got physical...

[RunToMe]

So I'm here to vent about what happened this week... to share my feelings so I dont explode from the hurt...

 

We went to a cocktail party Saturday night at a friends house. He asked me if I thought a certain guy was cute, and I replied with "Aww, is someone feeling a little insecure?". Well, it was obviously the wrong answer, because as soon as I said it, he called me an obscene name and made us leave immediately. The entire way home he yelled at me for "ever thinking ANYONE could make HIM feel insecure" and I was a bad girlfriend for even thinking that and that he deserved much better than me.

 

We pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex and he was 10 steps ahead of me the whole time. Upon getting inside, he quickly locked the door... I was left out on the porch in a cocktail dress in the freezing cold. I had no keys with me. He opened the door only to leave, and I walked in and told him to get out and not to come back. He then told ME to move out, and that he would call the police if I would not. (oh, like they're really gonna sympathize with him..) I refused. He was blocking my way out of the kitchen so I shoved past him and sat down on the couch to watch TV. He continued to yell at me to leave, and I ignored him. He then looks at me and says "I CHEATED ON YOU! I screwed her in the bed that we sleep in! We did it 3 times the night you left for Disneyworld with your parents! I fingered her in the same seat of my car that you sit in!"

 

I knew who he was talking about. It was the girl he would hang out with 6 days a week until 4am a few months back. The girl that came over to our apartment while I was on vacation...

 

I couldnt take anymore and I shot up the stairs and into my bathroom where I vomited from crying so hard. He then trailed after me and said he didnt really cheat on me, he only said it to get me to leave. Not only that, but he also told me that he hated me, that I was a * * * * and no one else would ever love me. "Look at you!" he said, "You get all dressed up and you still look like white trash". At this point I was so upset that I couldnt cry anymore. Instead, I got mean. I laid into him just as he had to me and I told him how he was going to be screwed without me. How I would be fine, I would finally be free of being scared all the time. I also told him that his exfiance obviously went back to her ex because no matter what she had with that guy, it couldnt have possibly have been as bad as what she had with him.

 

That set him off. He got this look on his face of pure hatred and said "I dont need to be mind (enter appropriate explitive here) by a little * * * * like you!" and he jabbed me in the forehead. By jabbed, I mean he took his fingers (minus the thumb) and poked me with all of his might in the forehead. He went to do it a second time, but I saw it coming and tried to block. He missed, but got me in the eye instead. I then (and this is totally out of character for me, I've NEVER hit someone) got in his face and slapped him. I braced myself, cause I knew he would retaliate. He did something I can only describe as a wrestling move, and I panicked. I flailed and sent everything in the bathroom flying. I also bit the tar out of him. He pinned me to the ground and looked me in the eyes and apologized. He then cried and told me he didnt want me to go. And that was the end of it.

 

I havent had sex with him since before that event. I have no desire to. I am depressed and all I can think about is what he said about cheating on me. And this is pissing him off. He is accusing me of sleeping around and is even telling people he works with that I am probably cheating on him since I'm not having sex with him.

 

I dont know what to do. I'm completley depressed and not myself. I dont know how I got here, but now I find myself without the strength to get out. I know what you all think, but for God's sake, it is HARD.

[ScreenagerX]

Your still there?!?!?!?!?!?

[spunkykatt]

WHAT??? You said that all you think about is him cheating on you, oh you have to stop that. Your problem is soooo much bigger, cheating is the least of your worries. You should be thinking more of him putting his hands on you in anger. What you have just posted is completely unacceptable. No man should ever hit a woman, and vise versa, but in the situation you was in I dont blame you for hitting back...the problem is, that when violence comes into a relationship its very hard for it to end. He not only verbally, mentally, and emotionally abuse you he physically did too. Please dont take that, YOU are the ONE who deserves better, not him. YOU are so much stronger than that, dont live in a life where you are afraid, because you never know if one day he may snap and hurt you really bad, or even kill you.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

leave him immediately, you don't deserve to be treated like that at all.

[spunkykatt]

Oh one more thing, you said "you know what we think" but "God its hard" well that statement alone tells me that you know its wrong too, and that your already taking a step in the right direction. You admit that his behavior is wrong. You also have posted here looking for support, which also tells me that your ready to get out of the situation, your looking for someone who can give you the push you need..I am happy to see that. If you need help there are alot of womens shelters, and domestic hotlines you can call and they can put you in contact with the right people who can help you make the leap, and leave the B*****.

[lunatic]

GET OUT NOW!!!! Dont stay there anymore go stay with friends or family. No one ever deserves to be hit or abused in anyway. As I was reading your post I saw my ex girlfriend saying the same things to me a few years back. YOU DESERVE BETTER!! Period!!

 

It is hard when you are scared because you don't know what this monster will do to you when he gets mad. Get the hell out of there and kick this loser to the curb! Please don't stay because the violence will only get worse over the years. Get out while you STILL CAN!!!

[Itsok]

You need to get out NOW. Tell your family and friends. Go to the police station and file a complaint and say you want a restraining order in place today. They will escort him out of your home. Then change the locks and be prepared for him to phone you and bother you. Everytime this happens, phone the police and report him.

 

The only way to get out of this is to make a clean cut. Don't wait anymore, you aren't doing yourself any favors. The time to act is NOW.

[Hope75]

I'm sorry to say that I agree with the others. This is a very unhealthy and dangerous relationship. Neither of you treats the other with respect and he got violent with you, which is completely inexcusable.

 

No one ever has the right to physically hurt another person like he did with you. On top of that, he sounds terribly insecure and just plain cruel. What the heck was he doing hanging out with some other girl in your apt. while you were on vacation?

 

Do you honestly think someone who loved, respected, and cared about you would ever treat you that way? I think deep down you know the answer is NO.... I wonder what's holding you back from standing up for yourself and leaving him.

 

You deserve much more than this, but until and unless you realize that for yourself and send him packing, you are not going to get it.

 

I hope you will use your good sense and boot his sorry behind out before he hurts and disrespects you again.

[yeawutever]

Nope, I don't blame u for hitting back, in fact I would have beat the heck out of any guy lying their disgusting hand on me, u were at once defending urself. Get away from this white trash, u aren't the trash, he is. Know wut he really deserves?? I dunno, but one thing he definitely doesn't deserve is you!!!

[BlueFlowerOnMyDesk]

Ulgh, he dosent deserve YOU hun! What a selfish man.

[Cyberchick]

I just read this post, it sounds like such a scary situation... I'm wondering what's happening now? Did you leave him? I really hope you did.