Eye Contact vs. EYE CONTACT

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

just make sure you don't start pouring all those stories to her the first time you talk to her, which you will do very soon, won't you?

What gave you that idea?

[Markers]

well I simply hope you will talk to her soon. That's what I meant. What I said about ranting about these "ironic twists" was more of a joke, but make sure you won't talk to her about that even if everything seemed to go well.. sometimes really shy guys, when their dreams seem to come true, start getting a bit theatrical

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

well I simply hope you will talk to her soon. That's what I meant. What I said about ranting about these "ironic twists" was more of a joke, but make sure you won't talk to her about that even if everything seemed to go well.. sometimes really shy guys, when their dreams seem to come true, start getting a bit theatrical

So I should leave my crown and cape at home, huh?

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

I knew I could do it! I knew it flowed deep with in me! There it was, the opportunity was right there for my taking ,and on Valentine's day of all days...

 

...and I blew it. BIG TIME!

 

I saw her today. I actually didn't expect to see her, I would've thought she was going on a heavy Valentine's date or something. Anyway, there was a woman standing between us and my crush asked her a question. Then that woman asked me something for the two of them. Here was my opportunity. I had a funny line that popped in my head, but I panicked and gave a straight answer. I even looked in my crush's direction, but I just couldn't look into her eyes. I am a little mad about my luck because if I had arrived 5 minutes later, my crush would've asked me the question and I am sure that would've done me a world a good. At least I would've talked to her. Opportunities like that rarely come, and I screwed up.

 

Chicken.

 

Coward.

 

Loser.

 

This list goes on and on.

[tomservo]

Don't beat yourself up man. You'll get another chance. Just don't screw IT up as well.

 

I blew it tonight myself. (okay, that sounds kind of dirty) I've been trying to talk to this cute girl at the B&N coffee shop for the past few days. It's been tough cause I'm stupidly shy. The only good thing is I saw her there Friday and Saturday night and now on Valentine's Day. To me that says she probably doesn't have a boyfriend. Maybe. But I know that the longer I wait, the more likely someone else will come along.

 

The point is, don't hesitate any longer. I know what your thought process is here. You've already pretty much decided that she'll reject you and then you'll be humiliated. But remember this: "If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place." I found that somewhere and it's my new mantra. Go for it dude!

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Hey thank you and good luck to you. Thank you all! Guess this goes to show that we need to take advantage of the opportunity at hand since it may be our last.

 

Believe it or not, I am not afraid of rejection. I expect it. If she says no, I won't be hurt one bit. I don't seem to be her type anyway, so no harm no foul. My only problem is making her feel uncomfortable around me in the future. That's why I just want to talk to her and get to know her and get a feel of what she's like and what she likes. From the impressions I get, she may not be my type anyway. This is just a story of a guy finding a girl attractive on the outside and trying to get out of his shell to see if her inside matches her outside. Honestly, if I asked her out for a cup of coffee after this sentence and she said no, that I'm not her type or she has a boyfriend, I'll live. It won't even hurt because the mystery is solved. Why I feel that way about her I don't know. I am just getting a vibe that I';ve never gotten before, if I can shake off the fact that it is remotely possible that beauty could be interested in this beast...:silly:

[EndlessPain]

I've been in your situation a few times, and "the breaking the ice" part is the most difficult. Especially if you let the eye contact last for too long (one particular instance with myself lasted nearly 7 months)..So the more you wait the harder it gets. Believe me, its not worth waiting months hoping there "is something" between the two of you- when in all honestly you hardly even know her. If you feel an attraction you have to initialize conversation. Plus, it also shows you have confidence...which as far as I know that's one thing women like.

 

Next time you see her just tell yourself..."screw it, what do i have to lose"

and go right up to her and say "hey how are you?"

or maybe "ive seen you around here a lot, how are you doing"

think about something to ask her after this...

and don't make it a yes or no question...and don't spit out things...

OF all things look her in the eyes when you talk to her...and don't back down

 

 

 

 

Goodluck man

[Markers]

yeah I actually did the same on v-day, I was holding a door open for her, she said thanks, I just turned away and left. When I glanced back I think she blushed as she knew I had noticed her (since I did hold the door open for her) but didn't react to her saying thanks at all (other than just walking to other direction with my friend. Yeah right, what did she figure out of that...... Well, that's that, I'll see her tomorrow and I'll fix it then.. you do the same! What I'm trying to do might get screwed big time by the way, but I figured that hey, what's the problem. I'm kinda getting used to it anyway

[cristalgold]

I say you take Nike's advice and just do it. Go up to her and talk to her. The hardest part is mustering up the guts to take the first few steps, after that it's not so bad. Look at it like this: you could be one of the many guys that she never even glances at. There's nothing wrong with starting small talk by asking if you two attended the same high school.

 

Kyoshiro, you never know if you're her type until you try. Who knows, she may not be your type. Also, there's more to a man than just looks. Confidence can get you a long way. It's really sexy. Something you definitely want to have. I wish you the best!

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

I had my chance, but I couldn't do it. I did not get a good vibe from her. I felt that I am way out of my league. There we were, alone for about a minute, but she had her back turned to me the entire time. All I could do was say "excuse me, yada yada yada." but I had no conversation starter and I didn't get the feeling she would care anyway. If she did turn to face me, I was all ready with a smile and a hello, but she kept her back turned to me the whole time. Oh well, moving on...

[KristyK]

Don't give up! I know exactly how you feel...believe me! You gave me some good advice the other day...and I think you shoud go for it. So what if she's not interested, at the very least you could make a new friend. As a shy girl, I think I would feel pretty uncomfortable with a guy coming up to me and just asking me to go for coffee or something...I would much rather it start by saying "Hi" a few times, introductions, conversation and then maybe coffee. Small steps...but you have nothing to lose. I'm struggling with the same situation, so its easy for me to sit and tell you what I would want, cuz thats what I want the guy I'm interested in to do....the eye contact, the hello's...it's hard, but you can do it!

[orangecounty]

I couldn't agree more with Kristy. I would like any guy coming up to me out of the blue and asking me out. But it would be completely different if over time i got to know him, it wouldn't be such a surprise.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Thank you, but I have officially thrown in the towel.

 

That would be better for me to just a hello everyday, a brief friendly conversation here and there, hoping I can make her laugh and then seeing where things go. But after what happened today, I am not going to do anything. I slowly started to show my interest, a little more eye contact, a little smile, all that was met with nothing. Ok. I was all ready to simply smile and say, "Hi". But when she saw me, it's almost as if she was avoiding me. There was that vibe again that halted me in my tracks. Not shyness, because I was ready to throw caution in the wind and say "Hello." It's more like I farted in the wind because the stench of failure is reminiscent of that.

 

Am I surprised? No. I am having a hard time believing unattractive guys can just walk up to a girl and ask her out if they only had one chance to talk to her. I have a hard time believing unattractive guys would get the time of day, regardless of confidence. There has to be an attraction for her to be interested. Sometimes I wonder if she's reading this, and that's why she avoided me. "So hey, if you're reading this, don't worry, I won't be a burden to you anymore. Sorry that this ugly person has bothered you. I wish I was presented with a more flatterig image to peak your interest, but alas I am hideous. Sorry to have shown interest. You need not worry. I will bow out gracefully."

[Kevin T]

I am having a hard time believing unattractive guys can just walk up to a girl and ask her out if they only had one chance to talk to her. I have a hard time believing unattractive guys would get the time of day, regardless of confidence. There has to be an attraction for her to be interested. Sometimes I wonder if she's reading this, and that's why she avoided me.

 

I totally agree that there has to be an attraction there in order for anyone to be interested (guys, girls, whatever). But the thing is, women tend to find confidence attractive. This applies to the way one carries oneself, looks, acts, etc. Confidence just seems to make someone seem more attractive to women. I don't know why, but it does...

[Lily04]

Kyoshi... no offense but this thread is 4 pages long, almost 40 replies now... if you still haven't got the nerve to say "hi" yet and smile (a single, 2 letter word) then move on. There's plenty of girls out there. And confidence starts with you... we can tell you to gain it ad infinitum but if you don't want to change no one can help you. I've started to realize that myself as well, and I know it's hard but only YOU can start the conversation with her and it doesn't take much confidence to approach a person...

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Has it been that long? Well anyway thanks guy, I am moving on. It's not that I can't say hi to her, she is the first girl I was ready to approach without a total meltdown. I was ready and waiting, but was totally bummed out by her reaction before I made a move. It's the invisible force field she gave me that made me think that the eye contact was in my mind. Ho hum.

 

I am now taking Contenstant #2, wherever she may be...

[SuperBoy]

No, don't give up that easily! I know exactly what you're talking about -- it's called "mixed signals." People do strange things when they're attracted to someone else. Sometimes they're confident enough to flirt, other times they're too nervous to do anything but pretend they don't notice you.

 

Don't let invisible vibes or forcefields keep you from at least talking with her. She may have no idea that she's making you feel that way. I challenge you to just throw caution to the wind, walk right up to her, and say hello, the next time you see her. Until you two talk, everything's just in your head.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

No, don't give up that easily! I know exactly what you're talking about -- it's called "mixed signals." People do strange things when they're attracted to someone else. Sometimes they're confident enough to flirt, other times they're too nervous to do anything but pretend they don't notice you.

 

Don't let invisible vibes or forcefields keep you from at least talking with her. She may have no idea that she's making you feel that way. I challenge you to just throw caution to the wind, walk right up to her, and say hello, the next time you see her. Until you two talk, everything's just in your head.

 

Until you two talk, everything's just in your head.

Wow, that sentence gives me something to think about. It is hard to shake the vibe but you are right, thus far I have no verbal or visible proof. Thanks.

[ladeedah]

Kyoshi _DO SOMETHING DAMNIT!!!! She is maybe getting annoyed that you haven't done anythinh yet and yet and never will and she is starting to back away..been there and done that!!! NO REGRETS ,MAN!!!!

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

How funny is it that when I made the promise to myself to say something to her, she disappears. From February 27 (which was my birthday and I was expecting a glorious day and a new beginning, what a jip) until two weeks ago, I didn't see her. I no longer take the bus since I have a new job on the other side of the universe. The biggest reason why I didn't talk to her over time was because of the time, we saw each other everyday for so long but I never spoke a word to her, so it became rather awkward. "Why would I break the ice now after all this time?", I thought she would think. I am regretting it every day, at least twice a day.

 

So kids, what have we learned today? If you see someone you like, on the bus, in the school cafeteria, at a party, in the bookstore, don't waste time. Days will go by and before you know it, your last chance is staring you in the face and it breezes by you before you realize what the hell happened. If you hesitate, you'll and up with nothing, which is what I have. Absolutely nothing. ](*,)