is being really small unattractive to guys?

[renaissancewoman101]

I wanted to put this question out to all you men out there on the forum. Is height a big thing with you when it comes to looking for women to date? I am seriously thinking about going back into the dating scene soon (after I settle down and adapt to life out here) so I can forget about my ex and learn to let go of my best friend instead of depending on him so much for support, things to do, a shoulder to cry on. I need to learn to be on my own and find someone to date. I tend to be really self-conscious about myself, esp my height. That partly has to do with my mother. My mother has never been comfortable with me being tiny as I am (I am only 4'5" tal) and her friends have made fun of me about it. Consequently, my mother has taken out her anger on me about me being tiny and making her look bad and, as a result, I am really self-conscious about my height. I am a decent looking Asian woman but on the small side.

[LostInMyThoughts]

Height isn't a big thing, but it does play a small role I think, and everyone is difference.

 

Some men love really tall women. I don't. My ex was 5'9 (I'm 5'11) and I didn't like it when we'd cuddle; her hair would be in my face

 

Since the average height for men in the US is 5'6" I'd say you're going to be okay.

[steff]

hey, well im 5'11" female, and to find a man that is nice, and taller than you... is hard as, so your lucky that nearly all men will be taller than you

[Tex1907]

Hi. I dont think your height really matters too much. One day you will meet someone who will appreciate all of your features, including your height. There are surely men out there who like shorter women better than taller ones. Hope this helps.

[serve_the_people]

Most guys are attracted to shorter girls, but few guys want a girls so short that he can't kiss her lips. Try to find a shorter guy.

[serve_the_people]

This sort of question seems to come up a lot. Maybe the moderators could create a new category called "Height Gap Relationships."

[arwen]

Haha, I will keep that in mind

 

I am a tall lady myself. I am over 6.0 feet translated to US metric system, I think. It's 1.84 meter. I am always the tallest girl, and I am taller than most men I know. Which doesn't come in quite handy... I prefer to be smaller than my guy, so it rules out a lot of guys for me. Plus, I have noticed that guys tend to be sort of intimidated by my length.

 

In fact in my younger years, I wish I was smaller. Now I am confident, but it has taken ages to come to this point. I guess the grass is greener on the other side, as usual!

 

Ilse

[LiquidCherry]

My grandma was 4'11", my aunt is 4'9", my father says he's 5'4" but I stand taller than him at barely 5'3"... NONE of them have had any problems finding relationships. Well, no more problems than anyone else.

 

Lots of guys like shorter women. And I have to say, if your mother and her friends make fun of you perhaps they are trying to make up for their own short-comings. (pun intended!)

[becallamjr]

I'm half korean and i can relate to you on the height issue. Well not exactly me , as I'm 6'1, but I'm completely attracted to smaller women. My mother is 5'3 and my dad is 6'1. I wouldn't worry about it.

[Rayana]

Im 6 ft and cant wear high heels . Even if i find a man taller than me the minute im in heels i tower over him.

[SuperDuper]

Hey there, I understand completely where you're coming from.

Try to think of it like this.

 

You meet a guy over the phone (somehow) and you talk for weeks and weeks and get completely comfortable with each other, and you tell yourself you're in love with him, just because of all the common factors between you two.

 

You then meet up, and he is unattracted by your height?

Think about how absolutley shallow this guy would be.. and how much better and higher up (no pun intended) it would put you. If someone has problems with your physical appearance, tell them to go cram it. You have no control of it, and if they want something with you.. they'll look right past that. Trust me.

 

You WILL find someone out there, and that's because he will love you for you, and will not care the slightest of how tall you are. It makes no differerence at all, and can even come in handy at times.. if you catch my drift.

 

Just stay optimistic, don't let anybody keep you down, or put you down... and I think you should tell your mom that you won't continue to be her emotional punching bag anymore, you don't deserve it.. besides, it's her genes that produced you.. your the product of her.. what can she say to that?

 

Who cares though, there's millions of people in worse conditions and they have great lives, things will turn out great. Just remain happy and confident, you just need to realize nobody on this earth deserves specialer treatment than you.. why should they? Because they're tall?

 

No way.. I hope this helps a little bit.

 

Good Luck.

[renaissancewoman101]

SuperDuper, I have had that happen, actually a few years ago. I was talking to a guy online for a while and I was into him and then we went out and met up and I could tell on his face that he was very surprised that I was as tiny as I was and it bothered him. Needless to say, the meeting was awkward and that was the one and only time we went out.

 

Reason I ask this question is, I just moved to San Diego, CA and although I grew up in CA (Los Angeles), I never dated out here because I didnt date until I went off to college in the Midwest. People out there are different. They arent as superficial and critical about things like height, weight. Although they are more critical about race and stuff like that. Here it seems like everybody is superficial, into looks, and height plays into that. As I settle in here, find a job, and start living life, I am going to eventually want to find someone to date and I worry about how people here perceive people, esp height wise.

 

Right now my priority is to make friends, but eventually I am going to want to date because that is the only way I will get over my ex and branch out on my own and do things independent of my best friend.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

i'm somewhere around 4'11 and i used to worry about the same thing.but theres a lot of men out there that enjoy having petite women, so don't worry about it.

[Kevin T]

I prefer short girls, myself.

[renaissancewoman101]

Thanks for all your votes of confidence. That is one thing I do need to work on, my confidence. Height also plays into my confidence issues, although my best friend has noticed that since I moved back to CA and down to San Diego, I have been a lot happier here and more confident about things, and this is coming from a guy that I once dated (in college) and who has been my best friend for almost 10 years.

 

I guess I have issues with my height because my mom had issues with my height growing up and she still has issues with my height right now. Although now she tends to be patronizing about my height issues. She likes to tell me not to worry about finding a guy because I am small because if I really want a guy, she will set me up with someone (arranged marriage?). I want to find a guy on my own and on my own timetable.