Talking to people you like alot

[langford]

Why is it that you can speak comfortably for hours with people you have zero interest in and they end up declaring everlasting love for you?

 

But when you try and have a conversation with someone you like alot you are unable to speak and that person ends up thinking you're stupid.

[Cooperstown]

Because you don't feel comfortable enough to just be yourself around them.

[annie24]

Because you're nervous and you really care about what they think.

 

Maybe the next time you run into your love interest, try to pretend you are talking to someone you're not interested in. Maybe that will calm your nerves.

[Mr. Jones]

Because you don't feel comfortable enough to just be yourself around them.

couldn't have been said better

[cristalgold]

I agree with Cooperstown 100%.

[renaissancewoman101]

Because you dont want to sound like a dork in front of them and you dont want them to know that you like them. Then pick and choose the words you want to say, all the time wondering in the back of your mind if you sound like a dork, and pretty soon you sound like a dork because you are so worried about NOT sounding stupid or dorkish that you dont realize that you ARE sounding that way.

[a2000]

This is what happens to me!

 

Anyone got any tips?

 

I can't pretend I don't like them because I do. I get really really nervous. It's so silly. It doesn't help that I am shy too

[renaissancewoman101]

I would love it if someone could offer tips because when I have an interest in someone and I talk to that person, I usually end up sounding dorkish or stupid. Then when I am around someone I am comfortable with or someone I dont really care for, then I sound self-assured, comfortable, and I dont care.

 

I hate that.

[ducky]

Because you're nervous and you really care about what they think.

 

LOL. I'm told this happens to ladies all the time, but never to men.

 

For men, it's usually cos they don't feel comfortable enough to be themselves in front of ladies they like.

[prozzack]

i cant do it wather i tense up and stutter and make a fool of my self all while she thinks im an idiot and i wanna shut the hell up so i dont make a bigger fool of my self but it doesnt stop happening AHHHHHHH the horror is coming back

[ShySoul]

You tense up out of fear. You are afraid to do something wrong, and that fear ends up making you do something wrong.

 

Perhaps the person we should take a closer look at is the one we feel comfortable enough talking with for hours. I firmly believe that when it is right, you just know and are completely comfortable. From experience, that girl that I tensed up around wasn't right. The girl I was able to talk with for hours but orginally had no interest in.... she was right.

[flame]

It has happened also with me.. I don`t know. Maybe that`s because when you talk you`re also thinking about -how do I look right now, how will he react on what I just said..?

[monsieur]

I'm the same, I have no problem talking with other guys or girls that I am absolutely not attracted to, but if I am attracted to a girl I am completely socially inept, my mind goes blank, I can't keep a normal conversation going, for sure can't be entertaining and funny at all. The hotter the girl the worse my problem. My fear causes my subconscious mind to want me to get away, so it results in me avoiding even being around girls that I am attracted to.

 

Sometimes it is worse and sometimes it is better, but overall it is a big problem that is limiting my life experience and chances of ending up with a quality partner.

[Kevin T]

But the nice thing about fear is, it can be overcome.

[easyguy]

You could be the most confident person on Earth and still be uncomfortable talking to someone you like face to face, especially if they don't know you like him/her. It's not fear, it's human nature. What's important is that you show your strengths, not your weaknesses. Laugh off your mistakes. Everyone is shy around people they don't know well, but seek those who don't give a $#&* that they're uncomfortable with the situation.

[JonathanJonathan]

If you say something unintentionally dorky, a comment like "ok that came out way more awkward than I meant it" will keep things light... as long as you're not being constantly self-deprecating (which can get annoying), it's fine to laugh a little at yourself.

 

Check and mate. Always keep your conversation light and friendly. Usually I tend to trip up on the pronunciation of words because of my nervousness so I just make a joke out of it by muttering gibberish or saying something cheesy like "Oh yeah, that's Polynesian for 'I like talking to you.'" Joking around in conversations can work wonders to help yourself relax and treat her like a friend and help her ease up as well.

[Omni-I]

yup i agree with all of ya. here is a tip, if you got myopia remove your glasses lol works wonders with me. Plus i think women can see better my eyes and how sexy i actually am! lol If i am in front of a very attractive woman, i dont see her well enough to be distracted to by her looks and by myself lol and if she unsually ugly, i cant see her enough to be totally grossed out lol. But my mopia in minor, so their is a limit. so the less you see the better it is! lol

 

and that is no joke, i have a coworker that i am really attracted to and ive experience talking to her both with glasses and no glasses. With glasses i could barely keep my composure. With no glasses, i was in total control of the situation. My mistake is that the 3rd time i met her, i had my glasses on....man i should have removed it. oh well thats for next time!