Does he want to move in together or what??

[piegirl]

He did not say that he wanted to live with me and not my children. He said that he could deal with it if things did not work out between us if it was just me. He said that he does not want to do that to to my children though. That they have been disappointed enough and that they do not need that further disappointment in their lives.

 

Just a little background on my children. I divorced their father when they were 18 months olds. They will 8 years old on July 1. In the time since the divorce my childrens father has seen them a max of 15 times. He has never paid child support and any attempt to enforce child support has him moving to another state or quitting his job etc. etc. My children believe that a family consists of a mother and children they do not remember it ever being any different. I have 2 very well behaved and very intelligent little girls they are the youngest in the 2nd grade and are taking advanced classes.

 

For Valentines day both of my daughter's were to make Valentines for their mother and father in Girl Scouts. Since they do not really have a father they chose to make a Valentine for me and one for my BF. In Cassi's she wrote to me and my BF (in both of our valentines) that she hopes that we get married. My other daughter Allie said that she hopes that I make my BF happy and in his she wrote that she hopes I make him happy.

 

My BF has a great relathionship with my children. My BF and I have very good communication. As far as marriage goes it is not something that means a huge deal to me. It did not stop my ex from having a GF and getting her pregnant it did stop me from throwing him out as soon as I found out. It is a piece of paper that costs a fortune but it does not help hold a relationship together. I do not need the paper to tell me that I have a devoted and loving BF. He is honest with me to a fault and probably says things without thinking them through alot. I tend to be more closed mouth and think things through way to much. I could not ask for a more honest person than he is.

[Scout]

Piegirl, I too think your boyfriend sounds like a genuinely caring guy. And I also commend you on holding your family together with little, if any, help from your ex. I too come from a home where it was just my sister and mom. Dad left, and didn't support us. It pretty much sucked, but we got through it.

 

Maybe because of my personal sadness as a child, I do hold a higher premium on marriage. However, I have never been a mom who was walked out on by her husband, and there's a certain part of your experience that I can't entirely relate to. I will say that you're right, marriage to a jerk is worse than living with a great guy.

 

But - I do think marriage is supposed to be more than what your first husband brought to the table. Don't let one bad apple spoil your perception of marriage. It really is more than a piece of paper. It's a declaration, a tangible representation of a commitment to stick together forever, not just until things become a hassle.

 

I think your kids certainly value marriage, even if their dad walked out on them - thus, the valentine to your boyfriend expressing hope he marries you. If only we could all retain the optimism of a child.

[OceanEyes]

and even $1,000 seems like a lot of money for us when it comes to that! If my wedding was to cost that much, I sure would not be able to go back to school this year..I'd need to start saving..no thanks, too many other things I would rather spend it on then cake and flowers!

 

LOL ... meet man's DREAM WOMAN everyone! This put a smile on my face because of how funny it is, and also because of how much I agree with you. If I ever get married, it's probably going to be with some friends around at a resort somewhere in Hawaii or the Caribbean. At least if I'm going to blow a couple of grand, there damn well better be all-inclusive booze for at least a week.

 

Pie: You sound like you're in pretty good shape. Your man sounds like a decent, caring human being. He's obviously scared, as it's not just your life that he's affecting, but your girls as well. I think that in time, this will work itself out nicely and that you'll be very happy together.

 

8 months isn't that long. Give it another year and I think you'll be getting everything you want. Good luck to you!

[piegirl]

Just thought I fill in from the last post I made about this.

 

I am moving in with him. He asked me to this weekend. Said that he wanted me there all the time anyway and that he could not sleep without me anymore. So then once the school year ends me and the kids are moving in. That will the kids to start a new school fresh at the beginning of a school year.

 

We have gotten to where we are spending every night together anyway so why not go that step. I think it is a wise choice and ready to make the move.

[annie24]

Cool! I hope everything works out for you!!!!!

[kellbell]

Yay!!! That is awesome news. Keep us updated on things are going.