is he still in love with her?

[Cami]

I've been dating this guy for a while and he's like the perfect bf, except for one thing: his ex. On the one hand she doesnt bother me because me and my bf are good together, we're happy, but on the other hand there is a little tiny part of my thats worried, scared..that I'm falling for a guy that can never be mine because he's hers. They r still good friends, she calls him and I guess they meet up. My friend and his housemate has said I dont have anything to worry about because since we've been dating she hasnt been around much, but what if I do. He still has her photo pinned to his mirror.... I dont know what to do, I could end it and avoid getting hurt, but by doing so I could miss out a a good thing because I could be worrying for no reason. He could be over her, just not completely let her go and will once he's with me longer. Please help.

[annie24]

I think you should talk to your bf about this issue. It's a bit too much contact with the ex, I understand what you mean... I would feel uncomfortable also....

 

Why are they still such good friends?

[metro_girl]

I guess they meet up.

 

You want to know if they do meet up. I found myself in a situation I never wanted or anticipated as an "ex". This man stopped seeing me and started seeing this other woman. i don't think he was cheating on me with her. He continued to see me, meet me places, call me, email, etc. He was out of town a lot for work, so he wasn't seeing much of her either. I wasn't clear about anything. I wanted to get back with him. We now work in the same building together and see eachother every day. The ex is a problem if there's no closure, even if your guy is still angry with her. I couldn't believe how "my" guy was acting. He was with me intimately a month before proposing marriage to her, when she thought they were exclusive. I thought they were broken up, but really, I didn't think much about her because as far as I was concerned, he was with me first. He logistically thought that it made more sense to marry her, but he still wanted to be with me. I'm the one who had to put a stop to it.

 

If your boyfriend was never sexually intimate with his ex, then I wouldn't be as concerned. Once they've had sex, sometimes that's a difficult bond to break for one or the other. He's hanging out with some chick who has seen him naked.

[ravenfox]

u should just atleast ask about the photo!

tell him its bothering you or give him one of you and him to replace it with.

its ok for you to not want to see that everytime ur over- if he insists on keeping it he can - in a album - not on display.

[Andy223]

okay... there are 2 ways you can play this. When i mean "play" i dont mean play games, dont ever play games with people they backfire.

 

What im saying is you have 2 choices.

 

You can either

 

1. (discuss this with him and tell him that you feel badly about the situation with him and his ex)

 

2. (Remain at ease with the situation... do not mention it to him, unless he mentions it to you)

 

Now i can tell you, choice 2 will get you much further than choice 1 and let me explain to you why this is...

 

if you seem at ease with the whole "EX" situation, your boyfriend will be supprised. He is expecting you to get curious, he is expecting you to comment on it and be uncomfortable. He may not be doing it delliberatly, but he knows your jellous.

 

You must keep a lid on the information that could be damaging to your relationship. Take a few seconds to run through the event in your head. (You walk into his room, see her photo... then you get upset and franticly ask if there is anything between him and his EX. He then says "there is nothing wrong... stop bothering me" he leaves the room), (you get more upset and the situation gets worse!)

 

If you are mysterious about this, you will be more in control of the situation and he will be drawn to you. Try not to chase and compete for his attention (that is what he wants you to do)! Seem as though you are content with your life (still meet up with him and talk to him of course) but dont mention the "EX" subject in a negative way. This is important

 

If you let yourself become jellous and competitive over his EX, he will get fed up. A mysteriously attractive person would let him do whatever he wants and doesn't worry about it; communicating a calm strong confidence which is extremely rare!

 

here is a tip: - He has her photo pinned to the mirror... instead of saying "why have you got her photo in your room!" instead say "she looks really nice, i like her hair!" The human brain does something strange here in how it reacts, but he wont be expecting that comment! it will have a positive effect!

 

manage to keep a lid on information that could be damaging to your relationship. I cant stress this enough

 

This may sound like the opposite to what you want to do, its hard to hide your emotions about it, cos you feel strongly for him, but it is a much better option than getting annoyed....