Love the Money, or Love the Girl? - FCTex

[FCTex]

I haven't posted very much with my problems, but lately, I'm curious to see what others thing of this situation..

 

Short story- I was with a girl for 1 1/2 years. First love, First time doing most anything. Great relationship for the most part, got along. Great relationship with friends and family, on both parts.. Overall good time.. I ended up working for her father, who owns his own company.. Her family, is well off so to speak. I come from a middle upper class family, and don't really struggle for anything in life. She on the other hand, has anything and everything she wants, when she wants, and how she wants it.

 

It was nice to be able to have these nice things, the clothes, the money, the cars, the chance to go do things I normally didnt go do, but maybe a few times ever.. I also was working for her father, who, unexpectedly, gave me several promotions, and raises and has since moved me up under his wing to be a "top dog" within his growing company.. I'm only 20, and I'm currently doing very well finanicially, and future wise, set up to do good things with the company.

 

Here's the kicker.. During all this, she broke up with me, out of no where 6 months ago. My job hasn't changed, nor has her fathers out look upon me(so far?). Things havent altered at work at all since then, if anything, got better. I moved on.. I packed my stuff up and go to work on "life"... Since then I've gotten into another relationship with someone local. I'm totally in love, and way too soon I thought.. She's simply the most amazing girl I've ever met in my life, and things between her and me, and our families and friends.. It's like a movie it's so great. Not that it matters, but her family is on my par, middle-upper class. She's in school to be a nurse, and getting her masters, right now.

 

My ex, has since come back into the picture and is trying her hardest to get me back. BEGGING for me back, telling me she would marry me tomorrow if she could... I still have some feelings for her, although, very little, and hard to pull up, because I AM so in love with my new girlfriend.

 

I'm just struggling with trying to figure the easy road traveled... My future is important to me, and so is my financial situation. Am I wrong to even ponder the thought of returning to my ex, getting back into the "high" lifestyle, and possibly bettering my chance with my career, as well as, maybe being happy with her again, given the chance..

 

Or would I be stupid to leave my new girlfriend who offers me everything emotionally, physically, and spiritually, that I could never imagined finding in life. This is someone who I could honestly, deep down, see marrying, and spending my life with, even though I saw that with my ex, I don't see it much anymore at this time.. It's not about all the money, and if I stayed with my current girlfriend, I know money wouldnt be an issue, I just don't know why I think things would be "easier" down the road with my ex.

 

 

Love and Money, or True Love and Happiness..?

[Jjasonn28]

Simple.

 

You moved on. If this new girl really makes you feel all those wonderful things, then absolutely continue to grow with her.

 

Do you feel you risk losing your current job or status within the ex's fathers company if you don't go back to her?? I mean, if you are good at what you do, there should be no reason why you cant continue to grow in your career.

 

If on the other hand, you stand a chance of losing your job if you dont get back with her... then think about it.. You go back to her, keep your job, but will be at the mercy of her and her family for the rest of your life. A possibly viscious cycle of, 'you better be nice or I'll tell daddy'.

 

I dont know all the circumstances but in my eye, the answer is clear. You love the girl you are with, so nurture that love. She will understand better that working to achieve what you want, is much more satisfying than having everything handed to you. And that is a lesson that EVERYONE needs to learn at some point.

 

Good luck

[DN]

Is it not possible to stay with the new girl and still keep the job? Her father seems to be the one who decides if you stay in the company.

[coooolsome]

Well the thing is, she broke up with you. Her father knows this right. Its not your fault you didnt stick around and wait for her. Has her father said or done anything to make you think you will lose your job? Maybe you should have a talk with him about what is going on and how you feel. He really doesnt need to know but maybe this will clear things up for you.

 

I would never choose money over love as long as you can live comfortably. If the difference is being able to buy a 61 inch plasma(15,000) or a 42 in DLP (2,500) then I would pick love.

[Relationship Coach]

FCT,

 

Jobs come and go, true love can offering you what money cannot buy.

 

If you're ex's father is half the businessman you say he is then he would be foolish to let his daughter influence him to fire you. Remember, you are an asset as long as you remain professional and focus on your duties and responsibilities to the company. Insulate yourself in the event that he does fire you but how can you put a price on love? Depending on what your relationship is with your boss, sit down and talk to him man to man. Explain to him your commitment to the company in no way reflects your feelings for his daughter. You wish her well but at this point in your life a relationship with her is not conducive. Trust me even he knows daddies little girl is probably a spoiled brat. He will respect your candor and your ability to separate your personal life from your professional life.

 

You seem to have it all together for being 20, keep your humbleness as you progress in life. Good Luck.

[Bethany]

I would rather live in a mud hut with someone I loved and was happy with than live in a mansion with someone I did not. Follow your heart, not a bank statement.

[chai714]

FCTex,

 

From what it sounds like, your boss is a true businessman and knows how to separate family from business. In other words, he has been fine with you not being with his daughter for the past six months and has even promoted you. He promoted you because you're helping his company grow, not because he hopes that you'll get back with his daughter.

 

I don't think you have to pick between love and money. Right now, it seems that you have both. The only thing you need worry about right now is maintaining your current relationship with this woman who is trying to actually do something with her life. As long as you have enough money to live and your relationship is doing fine, smile.

[FCTex]

Thanks for the comments and reflections..

 

For the note, my boss is a great man. I indeed LOVE him like a father still. He treats me like a son, and while we are at work, he treats me with respect and on "his level". He has told me that no matter WHAT happens between his daughter and I, that I will continue to keep my job, and keep my promotions, regular, as long as I continue to work and grow with the company. He's told me that when I started there, during, and after the break up..

 

His daughter probably isn't sharing much of her desire to be with me to her family however.. She is very ashamed of what she's done, and I don't think she's talked it over much with her father, possibly just her mother and the like..

 

Your right in that I dont need to choose. I'm going to stay with my current relationship, it's everything I want, plus more. I just feel a little threatened by the situation, and feel as though I might have missed out on some chances later down in life..

 

As for marriage.. I'm not thinking of it right now, God no.. But I am almost 21, and in the next 1-2 years, the age group I contain myself with, and my girl will be getting out of school, and into careers.. It's only fitting, to be atleast open minded to the ideas.

 

Thanks everyone.... I just dont know if I wanna bring this all up with my girlfriend, or my boss, or niether!

[DN]

Neither would be my choice!

[lovecrazy]

Does your current girlfriend, Know you work for your ex's dad?

 

Honestly I would be honest with her! And if she is secure enough she will accept it. I know I would try and accept it!

 

And as for your ex. SHe sounds like a Paris Hilton wanna be!

 

Stay with your current girlfriend! Money doesnt always make you happy!