I need to find myself. Advice would be so greatly appreciated.

[ILLuz1oN]

Hey everyone.

 

Basically, it's Christmas today and I've promised myself (Like I have for the last 3 years) that 06 is my year. I come from a very unsupporting family that believe I will be fulfillin my purpose in life only if I get married, have kids, you know..all of the ''normal'' stuff. I have a mum, a sister, and a nephew, no other family. Being honest, none of them have lived, having gotten married young, had children young. I feel like I don't know who I am or I what I need to be. I'm only 19, but I feel like I need to travel. I need to see the world. I need to meet people, to find out what I'm capable of. I'm scared..I don't know how to do it. Any time i tell anyone i know what i want to do they say ''You'll never do that''..and it really makes me feel like I'm capable of nothing.

 

I'm learning to drive, should be driving in a couple of months, have a crappy job, no real friends, and all i want to do is travel. Has anyone travelled? How did you do it? I see people on the TV that just go..literally just go and I'm envious..I need to be free..I'm trapped in my own skin..I'm trying to find myself, my religion, and again all my family are is negative..please..any advice, this post is kinda unclear but any input is appreciated

 

Thanx in advance and merry christmas

[Danny H]

I would say to you go for it.

I have travelled to many places around the world, for work or pleasure and you always meet great people.

The world is full of people who can think " Out of the box" and that -"settle, get married young and have kids" mentality seems very -small minded- escape from it, if it doesn't feel right to you.

 

If you come from the first world ( which I assume you do being on a computer)You are capable of travelling with complete ease.

The first trip you go on you'll meet so many others like yourself you'll feel as one with the world, and not an outsider in a small town.

 

If you are in the Usa consider Costa rica as a good trip

If in Europe- the greek islands is always a nice first trip away

Or less taxing- Barcelona is a good laugh.

Then move onto the India/Indonesia type challenge

 

There is a whole world out there and the more you see, the more you can decide what you want for your life.

 

Don't let the bas#ards grind you down

 

Good Luck

Dan

[ILLuz1oN]

Thankyou Danny. I agree. 29 is a nice age to have children I've personally always thought early 30s would be good.

 

So how did you travel, are you rich? Did you save? Or did you just up and leave and worry about it when you got there? I know it sounds silly but I don't know what the first step is, when I know it I can think about taking it. Thanks again, and Merry Christmas.

[mysterious one]

hello and merry christmas

i haven't traveled other than family things but that's another unfun story. (is unfun even a word?) anyways as for the people who say that you can't or wont just use that to prove them wrong. my family's pretty much the same ( i got a sister and a mom who as exactly alike and a dad who's nothign like them) my mom and sister are always negative to me and i have to live with them. i'm more like my dad. anyways i don't have any advice about how to go about the traveling but it shounds like that's just what you need. it's great that your learning to drive that way if you have the feeling that you need to go someplace you can just go.

anyways i just felt like ranmbling to someone sorry if what i said was useless

good luck and have fun

[ariyadhana]

Hi there,

 

I'm a bit older than you, and went through the same thing when I was younger. First, no one in my family believed I would go to university. No one before me had gone to university, and out of several generations of our family I was only the second to graduate high school. I did go to university for a year, but I was lost and didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, so I decided to look into travelling. My family told me I couldn't do it, it would be a waste of money, etc, etc. You just have to develop a thick skin and believe in yourself. I went to New Zealand on my own when I was 19 years old. It was difficult, I was nervous, I had never been overseas or even on a plane before. But I was so determined and I just did it.

 

Where do you live right now? And where do you want to go?

 

There are programs for young adults that allow them to get work overseas in certain countries that their home countries have made agreements with. This can be a good way to go if you want to travel for more than a couple of weeks, and really get to experience a place. I got one of these work visa's when I went to New Zealand and it was great. You don't have to be rich to travel overseas, but you will probably have to save at least a couple thousand dollars. Anyways let me know where you are from and I will get back to you with more detailed information. Also, feel free to ask me any questions you have.

[ILLuz1oN]

Ariyadhana, Thankyou for that it was inspiring. I've never been on a plane either before. I've wondered about working visas before but didn't know if you needed all types of qualifications or whatever. I'm only high school educated.

 

So can I ask how you got the working visa? How long was the process? Where did you stay, how much did you save up beforehand? Did you have fun?

 

I'm willing to work hard and save but my job pays so badly, it just seems like it would take forever to save a sufficient amount.

 

But yes, any help you have would be soooo appreciated. I'm from the UK, I just want to go anywhere different, my family are so uncultured I need to free myself (Aggghhh the frustration). America would be great, Australia, I mean, literally, Anywhere..I just need to get away, but america would be the ideal I guess I've always wanted to see the States. Thankyou once again for your response, Merry Christmas.

[ariyadhana]

Here is the UK organization that can help you plan your trip abroad. It has info on all the countries you can work in. It has a lot of info and could probably answer a lot of questions you have:

 

link removed

 

I got my work visa by going through the equivalent organization to bunac that we have here in Canada. It took about 5 weeks to get my work visa from the time I applied for it.

 

You don't need any qualifications as these are working visas designed specifically for young people who want to have a working holiday. Some of the programs do require you to have been a student in the last year in order to get a work visa. The Work America program does, as well as Work South Africa. However many other programs like Work Canada, Work Australia, and Work New Zealand, do not require student status.

 

I saved up about $7,000 Canadian before I went. My flight was around $2,000, so I went over with about $5,000. This was enough to allow me to not have to work for a couple months after I arrived. There are minimum amounts that each country requires you to prove you have in your bank account before they will grant you a work visa, so that they know you can afford to support yourself when you first arrive in the country. I would recommend working hard and saving as much as possible before you leave, as once you get there you will not want to start working right away, as you will be in a new place and will want to explore. I know this may suck and it may mean it takes longer before you leave, but it is really the best thing to do. Also, your currency is worth more than the currency of any country you will be travelling to, so it is better to make as much money as you can before you leave home. Don't expect to make a lot of money at the jobs you will get overseas, most of them are casual, often seasonal, employment.

 

When I went to New Zealand I stayed mostly in hostels. Hostels are places where travellers stay that can have anywhere from 4-12 people to a room depending on the hostel, and have communal bathrooms and kitchens. Some of them have bars or restaurants attached to them as well. Staying in hostels allows you to save money on accomadations and also meet other people who are travelling on a tight budget.

 

My first job was at an apple orchard, picking apples 10 hours a day. It was tough work but met lots of cool people and had fun nights at the hostel which was filled with mostly apple pickers. Then I worked at a cafe in a small town, which was cleaner work and a bit better pay. When I got this job I moved out of the hostel and into an apartment with some people which is a good option if you are going to be staying in one place for a long time. After that I worked at a resort on an island about 100km off the coast of Auckland. The pay was almost nothing but my room and board was covered, and it was a beautiful island to relax on.

[Terry Andrew]

The best thing to do is go on a do it yourself journey. You don't have to Einstein to plan all the details just find somewhere nice, a nice geusthouse, someone with you and you'll be done. I went on several trips namely greece, Sweeden and Australia. But the best of them was a whole week in Sicily where, me and a group of youngsters organised a trip there. Personally I was very much involved in bookings and preperations and as you expect being only 15 back then I must been quite an experience. I suggest you try to plan a holiday! I am always longing that someday I'll go solo maybe when I'm 18 when I am no longer under the resposibility of my parents. And just remember you don't have to go to those "high" class areas or flashy places to enjoy yourself. A holiday or vacation is in a sense a discovery i.e. to either discover oneself or new places

[Blue Skittles]

I didn't travel because i hate travelling, but my sister is your age and has already gone to mexico and nova scotia - way on the other side of the country. Basically the way she does it is she works and saves up money and then just ups and leaves. her last trip she decided she was going and one week later she went. The first trip she went she booked a trip and made payments on it - it was something liek $100 a month for 6 months, so she had to plan it that much in advance. The second trip she just took her student loan money and went. I would start by talking to travel agencies and seeing what kind of options are available to you and what is in your price range. Then figure out how you can save that money. You said you are working a crappy job right now so maybe get a second job and save all the money from that second job to go directly towards travel expenses. You have to work hard for awhile but in the end the travel will be worth it. If you really want it you can make it happen, trust me! Have u ever thought about getting a work visa in another country? A friendof mine did that she went to England and worked there for a year. Theres lots of options so just do some research and save some money

[Shadows Light]

Have you ever thought about joining an organization like the PEACE CORPS. It would give you an opportunity to go to a foreign country, learn, grow... and find yourself while serving others.

[pashmak]

you know, I've found going away to college has been the best experience of my life. it gave me a chance to experience things I'd never experience living with my family at home. I have no idea if you go to college, if you plan to go in the future, etc, but if you're not in college now, consider studying somewhere away from home.

 

sorry, I have no tips on traveling because I'm still a poor college kid barely affording classes and books. but it's something I definitely want to do after I graduate and work for a year maybe to save up some money.