ILLuz1oN

Ariyadhana, Thankyou for that it was inspiring. I've never been on a plane either before. I've wondered about working visas before but didn't know if you needed all types of qualifications or whatever. I'm only high school educated. So can I ask how you got the working visa? How long was the process? Where did you stay, how much did you save up beforehand? Did you have fun? I'm willing to work hard and save but my job pays so badly, it just seems like it would take forever to save a sufficient amount. But yes, any help you have would be soooo appreciated. I'm from the UK, I just want to go anywhere different, my family are so uncultured I need to free myself (Aggghhh the frustration). America would be great, Australia, I mean, literally, Anywhere..I just need to get away, but america would be the ideal I guess I've always wanted to see the States. Thankyou once again for your response, Merry Christmas.

Thankyou Danny. I agree. 29 is a nice age to have children I've personally always thought early 30s would be good. So how did you travel, are you rich? Did you save? Or did you just up and leave and worry about it when you got there? I know it sounds silly but I don't know what the first step is, when I know it I can think about taking it. Thanks again, and Merry Christmas.

Hey everyone. Basically, it's Christmas today and I've promised myself (Like I have for the last 3 years) that 06 is my year. I come from a very unsupporting family that believe I will be fulfillin my purpose in life only if I get married, have kids, you know..all of the ''normal'' stuff. I have a mum, a sister, and a nephew, no other family. Being honest, none of them have lived, having gotten married young, had children young. I feel like I don't know who I am or I what I need to be. I'm only 19, but I feel like I need to travel. I need to see the world. I need to meet people, to find out what I'm capable of. I'm scared..I don't know how to do it. Any time i tell anyone i know what i want to do they say ''You'll never do that''..and it really makes me feel like I'm capable of nothing. I'm learning to drive, should be driving in a couple of months, have a crappy job, no real friends, and all i want to do is travel. Has anyone travelled? How did you do it? I see people on the TV that just go..literally just go and I'm envious..I need to be free..I'm trapped in my own skin..I'm trying to find myself, my religion, and again all my family are is negative..please..any advice, this post is kinda unclear but any input is appreciated Thanx in advance and merry christmas

Thankyou both of you.

I'm just interested to see everybody's opinions on this. Do you think it's a physical, emotional, or a mental difference? Or all three?

You gotta be joking. That last 2 lines isn't yours; It's from Big L's 98 freestyle.

Dear T Music was my whole life, and rap was my passion, Gave me mindstates and feelings you could never imagine, Cut myself off from the world, HipHop was my guard, But it was only when I met you that life stopped being hard, You make every thing easy, though I had doubts at the start, Slowly, You pulled all the demons outta my heart, I act careless I don't mean to and I'm not easy to see through, Actin' like I don't want you when baby I NEED you, My mother never hugged me, that's why I'm afraid of affection, And I grew to love my insecurities because they were protection, Met so much evil as a kid you wouldn't believe what they did to me, All my rage was released through creativity, ''My heart's the only good in me, won't let nobody take it''.. Made that promise to myself and you made me break it, Saw men walk all over mum, vowed that wouldn't happen to me, But I'm in awe of how you face life so passionately, You're the exception of the rule, my strength yet my weakness, Silenced by your aura you just leave me speechless, Tried with all I have to not care, but i wouldn't change you for s**t, Now if I die tomorrow at least I know that angels exist, You're every thing i wanna be you've left my life enlighteneed, The sky's the limit, and because of you my skies have heightened, Now I'm at a level where I can no longer hide my feelings, Never knew what it meant to be content, but you define the meaning, And I'm so glad my plan not to care about you fell through, Wanna tell the world how I feel but first I gotta tell you, Can't believe I'm about to say this so hard yet easy, For once I don't care if I sound needy, you freed me, And this is the part where I swallow hard, and take a deep breath, And tell you the girl that doesn't care actually loves you to death.. Please let me know what you think. Thanx

brahman; 14 IS too young to go on the Pill. My friend first went on it at 18, tried 3 different types, and they made her feel sick, made her periods irregular, she took about 5 pregnancy tests at different times because she didn't know whether she was coming or going. This isn't the type of thing a 14 year old should be thinking about. Though he stated she can't go on it, I personally think it's because she's too embarrassed about going to the doctor thinking she's too young, if this is the case how is she ready to have sex? I think you're also forgettin the fact that if you two have sex it's illegal. She's still a kid barely in her teens. I suggest you give it time and see what develops. But, you probably won't listen to me. So in any case, make sure you use a condom, and preferably pull out. I completely agree with Ilse. Having sex comes with the responsibility of having to deal with the repercussions if they occur, there's always a risk. Maybe fully understanding this risk and taking that risk comes with age, but hey, just my opinion. Good luck anyway.

Awww...just saw the replies on this. Thankyou very much

No, I've never had this problem before. But he is my first sexual partner and this is the first time I've taken the pill. It was fine for the first few months we had no problems at all then it all went downhill. I think I may ask to change my pill..though I read a story online about a woman that tried 4 different ones but always had the same problem. I don't want to come off the pill and use condoms all the time. But yes I'll consider changing pills. Thankyou.

Yes, I'm very dry with that too.

Hey everyone..I posted about a month ago saying I was extremely dry during sex..and a few people said it could be because I'm on the pill..which I am now certain it is after reading up on it. I'm extremely turned on yet can't get wet at all..my man does everything right..it's frustrating to say the least for both me and my boyfriend..we've been together a year and I'm extrmely comfortable around him..yet this makes me feel like less of a woman..I don't wanna come off the pill, Its the best birth control..sex can never be spontaneous because someone needs to reach for the KY..we have lots of sensual foreplay yet I stay dry..though I feel very aroused..please, any suggestions would be great..we had no problem in the first few months but now it's awful and it gets me down. Please help. -Charmaine

Thankyou Hope75. I'm sure that's something me and my man can enjoy Thanx again everyone, very much so appreciated.

Thanx a lot to the guy above i just read that whole page and it put my mind at rest, i dont think it's anything to worry about, perserverance! Thankyou again.

Yes I'm on the pill. It can do that? i didn't know that.

Hey everyone, Me and my man have been havin sex for..about 8 months. And I can say truthfully I'm comfortable with him now. He said he loved me last night for the first time (Yay). But the problem is, I can't get wet during sex. Its just completely dry. He is my first sexual partner but I never used to have a problem for the first 4 or 5 months, but thats the way it always is lately. He hasn't said anything, I usually just slip some KY down there myself. But like I said I feel comfortable, and I'm EXTREMELY turned on during foreplay, to the point of my legs shaking uncontrollably. It almost makes me feel like less of a woman, its gettin me down. Any suggestions or people who've had the same problem would be appreciated. Thanx.

Just wondering if anybody can relate to this. Chorus not done yet. For the first few years of my life, you were my world and my idol, But most of all you were my mum and you were proud of the title.. When the bullies talked crap you were the one I could cry to.. Only thing I wanted to be when I was grown was like you.. It became clear over the years that life with Dad was tough.. I used to hear you cry at night I knew you'd had enough.. And I fully appreciate that it was hard as his wife.. But some of the stuff that I saw ma, it's scarred me for life.. I remember once I saw him pull a chunk out your hair.. And to stop him going for me, you pushed him down the stairs.. And he was so drunk he passed out, and blood poured from his head.. I hated Dad but I was scared because I thought he was dead.. But he survived..and even now I'm so haunted by that day.. And I wonder if you could've changed it, would it've turned out that way? But you got rid of him soon after, because your divorce came through.. And after that day.. I never saw the same you.. Now once your marriage finally became a thing of the past.. You got rid of his last name and threw your ring in the trash.. Dad never made you feel like a woman, or wanted or needed.. So you searched for a man to repair the damage that he did.. Then we started to see less of you.. you'd leave for days.. Vulnerabilities on show, men saw an easy lay.. I was only 10 when you left and started goin crazy.. And left your 14 year old daughter alone to raise me.. We were evicted 8 times.. straight threw out the house.. No money to our name and no food in our mouths.. I was depressed so young.. I'd feel worse every day.. Because I was needin you more but you were driftin further away.. And I was searchin for the love that I lost in you.. You had another baby, but that kid cost you two.. Now I'm 18, and still can't forget the stuff that you did.. Coz when Dad went out your life.. so did your love for ya kids.. So ya remarried now, with a couple more babies.. And Imma strong person, prolly coz the struggle you gave me.. For a long time, I didn't believe in good, just evil.. And coz of my own damn mother I just can't trust people.. Ma, I loved you so much, you were who I idolized.. And I see the guilt behind your eyes that you try to hide.. See you gave me life, but it came with strain.. U gave me a shot in the world.. but you gave me pain.. And none of it seems worth it when I weigh it up.. Who'll want me if my own mother never gave a f***.. Now we've got no love.. and we've got no ties.. But I got your laugh, your hair.. and I got your eyes.. But I pray I won't get your qualities as a mother.. If I have a daughter..words can't describe how much I will love her.. With the bit of good i have in me.. Because I have evil too.. But then it's clear why that is.. coz half of me, is you..

I like thr mysterious guy. Looks aren't important though I do judge a guy off of his clothes. You can usually tell a lot about someone through their clothes, Music interests and such. But yes, a mysterious guy with a good dress sense would have me lookin twice!