Scuse me, but I need to vent somewhere

[Dako]

..and this looks like a good place.

 

I've been hanging out on the breakup threads dealing with the end of my 24 year marriage, but other things on my plate are bugging me.

 

A few weeks back, My niece's 6 year old daughter (my sister's granddaughter) was abducted by a 15 year old pervert and beaten nearly to death. She was left on a busy railroad track and survived by crawling a short distance to spend the cold night under a blanket of leaves. She was found late the next day and is in hospital making a miraculous recovery. She knows the attacker and described him to police but as a minor he'll avoid paying for his crime.

The little girl's family is being moved to another state to live with my sister and other family members until their house sells. This situation is full of drama and stess for all concerned.

 

My elderly mother is being kept in the dark about the attack. Her health is too delicate and she's struggling with the flu and the loss of close friends in the assisted care facility. She asks me how I'm doing since my wife left me and I just lie like a rug. Of three kids, my role is being the strong one with no problems. Right.

 

After fixing up my mom's house to rent out, I've finally found a property manager that isn't out to steal everything. The first two prevented my mom from receiving any income for three months due to "expenses." My mom's assisted care rent is $3500 per month, so the income is vital. Now my mom wants to just sell the house. Oh well.

 

Currently, I live with a friend in a town near my job and have a small room to myself. I miss my house, my wife, my town and my dog. I've grown very fond of my friend's dog and sit outside with her after work and feed her carrots. Unfortunately she's quite old, and cried all night outside my window. After a painful night she lost the ability to walk, can't eat and is great pain. She's being put down today. I said goodbye to her this morning and cried all the way to work.

 

I have friends, hobbies, interests and good health. My life should be just peachy, unlike others with serious trouble, but I'm an ingrate.

 

My roommate goes to feed his senile and silent mother everyday, my brother is battling emphysema while his wife copes with breast cancer. There are plenty of people struggling with life's pain to shame me at my weakness.

 

I'm overdue for a visit to my shrink, a very nice fellow, but I tend to hide my feelings from him since one of his colleagues had me forcibly hospitalized for being suicidal. I'm writing an account of that passage in my life, and still hate the shrink that sent me there, even if she did keep me from hanging myself in the garage. I lack the enthusiasm for that these days. Just lazy I guess.

 

A woman sat near me at a coffee shop the other day and looked at me one too many times. I left. A day later I was reading at the same shop and a cop sat near me. I bolted for my car. Probably emotional residue from being handcuffed and strapped to gurney and being locked up by these gentlemen. It leaves a mark on a person.

 

I get two weeks off work for the holidays and will keep busy doing constructive and pleasant things, but a big part of me doesn't give a s41t. Tomorrow's the first day of the rest of my life. I plan to drink whiskey, smoke cigars, listen to Yo-Yo Ma and eat food that gives me heartburn. Should be fun.

 

Thanks for being there.

[Tigris]

I'm sorry to hear what's happened to your sister's granddaughter. The 15 year old should be locked up and the key should be thrown away!

 

I hope things improve for your family soon.

 

Look after yourself.

[SLMitchell918]

I am so sorry that things are so rough right now. That is so horrible about your sisters granddaughter. The 15 year old should be tried as an adult! Its just such a sick world.

[WildChild]

I read that Dako and I want to cry. Man, I am so,so sorry about everything that is going on in your life and it is HORRIBLE about your great niece!

 

I wish you were here because I would give you a hug whether you wanted one or not, so this is the best I can do through the puter, ((((((hugs))))))

[Beec]

Dako, you are still greiving over what has happened in your life. Keep plugging.

 

Sorry to hear about what happened to your sister's granddaughter and the rest of this stuff.

 

Enjoy the whiskey and cigars. I would. You got me to imagine myself with a glass of Red Breast and puffing on a Juan Lopez right now.

[Ms Omaniac]

I agree with wild child. my eyes watered up. im terribly sorry for the pain you must be enduring. youre not alone on this website. other people do indeed care that what youre going through is awful. try to hang in there. i know it's not going to get better anytime soon...but hopefully eventually it will. you just need to do whatever it takes to make it minute by minute if you have to.

you are in my thoughts. take care.

ivy

[darkblue]

Hey Dako,

Rough stuff. I'm sorry to hear about your niece's daughter, and hope she is OK now.

It's sickening to think that the perperator can get away with it - based on his age. Well, he won't 'get away with it', but he will not be given the punishment deserved for such a hideous crime.

 

Sorry about the dog, too - I know how attached you were to it.

My brother has recently lost his dog, and was devastated. The vet had to literally pull him off of the dog's body, after it had passed.

 

Having been in a similar situation to yourself and your mother - I know that there is nothing you can do, but make her days as stress-free as possible; in order to promote a prolonged life.

It's hard, and harsh.

I was also the strong son. Her 'rock'. However, it takes its tole on you.

 

As for the shrink - you should not lie to a doctor, but you are not really lying per se...

You are being wary due to bad past experience - and it is understandable.

Do you feel that it is helping you - seeing the shrink?

 

I wish I could be there with you. Drinking whiskey, and smoking the day away...

 

Take care - and remember my PM inbox is always open, and I'd love to hear from you.

[BellaDonna]

Wow- you do have a lot on your plate.

 

Your attitude is surprisngly good, given all of this. At least you are venting in a healthy manner.

 

All I can say is that I'm sooooo glad that little girl survived her attack, it could have ended much differently. I hope her attacker meets some kind of justice. Her refusal to give up, under the worst circumstances, is just one example of how strong the human will really is.

 

Let her will be an inspiration for you not to give up either.

 

I understand the pain you feel for the dog that was put down, and how you must miss your other dog too . I have a very special place in my heart for animals and I know they can make great companions. Is there any chance your roommate will get another dog, or maybe you can get one? I know it does not replace the ones from the past- but they bring such joy into a home.

 

I'm glad you will be getting some time off. Take care of yourself ,

 

 

BellaDonna

[cruisin]

Dako, all I can say is WOW! You've got a heck of a lot going on now. How you stay afloat is a wonder and an inspiration to me. It's nice to see someone on this site who isn't a teen or in their 20s. Kind of changes the perspective and the focus to REAL problems. Look, you vent all you want. It's good for you. And, I know about losing a furred friend and how awful that is. That dog was crying all night and probably knew she had to be leaving soon. You were there for her. She'll be looking down on you with love. Don't let people get to you too much. I always think of them as just being nearly blind, or that I remind them of someone they knew and miss. Or try to just smile back and really puzzle them. In any case, hang in there.

[Dako]

Thanks everyone.

I'm very touched by your support.

I hope some of my latest posts haven't been insensitive. I get crabby sometimes, especially with the approaching holidays.

 

Much of my time is spent alone, but you folks are a bright spot to me.

[darkblue]

I don't think you were insensitive at all. I think you are a breath of fresh air into the forums.

You provide insight, humour and blunt honesty, which is much needed.

 

You know where I am, Dako.

Take care.

[cruisin]

Dako, I second darkblue. And even if you WERE insensitive, so what??!!?? that's what venting is about and you warned everyone it was a vent. When you're hurting you can't be expected to be sensitive and all those other nice things. Strength to you brother.

[ocrob]

Dako,

 

I hope that you will use these posts to get your through the bad times. If the place that you live will allow it, I would get yourself a great dog. I wish I could have one right now. They are the best friends you could ever have. Just think, walk them once a day, pick up their poop, feed them and they are your best friend. lol I hope that made you laugh my friend. I am not trying to make light of a tough situation, but I am learning that is what I do. I don't know if this helps, but I have been thinking about my current life. It is completely unfulfilled and I am just bored. I have been thinking that I need to find something that motivates me and gets me out of bed. Do you remember the days where there was a sport or hobbie that just got you out of bed? I remember that I used to get up on a saturday at 5 am to go surfing. This is what I am talking about. Something that you just can't wait to do. I have been thinking about writing a script. Maybe you should take your life's experiences and write a fiction novel or script. Who knows, two years from now you could be getting an accademy award. You never know my friend.

[WildChild]

I don't think you were insensitive at all. I think you are a breath of fresh air into the forums.

You provide insight, humour and blunt honesty, which is much needed.

 

You know where I am, Dako.

Take care.

 

I am with darkblue on this one Dako! I have envisions of you with your whiskey snifter, cigar, etc... Your dark humor is your trademark and you are a great addition to the family here!

 

PS I meant to mention this in yesterday's post, I am soo, soo sorry about the loss of your (friends) faithful four legged pal

[Dako]

You guys are the greatest.

The little dog that used to be my avatar had a gentle exit after a good life. Not a bad deal.

 

Ocrob,

Today I'm going to buy a better sleeping bag for my weekend desert backpacking. Shivering all Saturday night gets old.

That's my church and playground until summer, when I switch to mountain triips.