does it matter that he was a virgin?

[sugarmomma]

Okay, I have a very complicated relationship. I have been dating a really wonderful man for a little over a year. I am 28, he is 27. He is American born but his parents are from India. Even though my boyfriend is very handsome , smart , and seriously funny, he is also very shy. So needless to say he has never really been a ladies man. I am in fact his first girlfriend as well as his first lover.

 

He spent a majority of his prime dating years, lusting over his very attractive female best friend, who apparently lead him on. He is also very picky. When he and I met , neither us of thought our relationship would turn serious. But we have an intense connection which has turned into a very deep and sincere love.

 

First, we had to overcome his family. They are intent on him marrying an Indian girl and have tried everything they can to break us up. But we stuck it out and I think they are SLOWLY starting to accept things.

 

Now the problem is with his family out of the way, things are staring to turn serious. I am staring to entertain the idea of one day marrying him and I know he thinks about us getting married as well. but I can't help to think that since he never dated nor slept with anyone else , to eventually marry him or even become more serious is a huge mistake. I have fears that he will always wonder what he is missing out on. He assures me that he doesn't worry about what he is missing out on and loves me completely.

 

To make matter worse I sometimes wonder how attracted he is to me . It seems that he is very attracted to strippers and Victoria secrets type models. Although think i am very pretty (not to sound conceited) , I am seriously not a model type. I am 5'3" and 140lbs. In the beginning of our relationship he told me he wasn't as attracted to me as he had been to other girls in the past. Now he says that he just said that as an excuse to slow things down, bcause he was scared in the beginning and that he thinks I am beautiful from head to toe. I was 20lbs heavier when we first started dating and even though I have lost some weight and he assures me how attracted he is to me now, I can't stop feeling insecure. Normally I am extremely secure and confident in my relationships. But with all of these circumstances I find myself allowing all these insecurities to get in the way of our relationship.

 

I am head over heels in love with my boyfriend. He is very thoughtful and affectionate. He obviously loves me a lot to stand up to his family for me and he has made a lot of scarifies in general to keep our relationship going. He makes me happier than I've ever dreamed it was possible to be. I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else but to be honest I just feel as though fate is against us.

 

Do you think I am wasting my time here?

[annie24]

No - you're not wasting your time!!! It sounds like he's a great guy who really loves you. I think you should work on your self-esteem. I'm sure that you're a great girl too - very smart and hard working and disciplined! (You lost 20 pounds afterall, that's not a small feat). If he says that he doesn't feel like he's "missing out" then believe him.

 

Good luck!

[Beec]

Well, maybe he changed his mind about how much he was attracted to you, because of how you made him feel.

 

When you find someone who makes you feel the right way, you over look some things, like some physical appearance preferences.

 

And I don't think it will matter that he is nto experienced. If he really wanted the experiences, why wouldn't he be out there getting them?

[bleeder]

I do agree with the rest. Try not to read too much into things, for what truly matters in the end is your self-confidence. Never stop believing in yourself even if the world wants to base their opinions on physical appearances.

 

His family will see you as you are in time, do be patient. As long as your conviction in the relationship is strong, there isn't much you can worry about. You are pretty and you have a seemingly nice man. Enjoy the ride while you can!

[boredguy]

hey,

being someone with indian parents, like ur bf, i can understand the pressures u and ur bf have to go thru. being brown is hard...lol "somebodiez gnna get a hurt real bad" (russell peters).

but seriously. all relationships go thru their tough times, and it looks like yours has been thru a couple of tough onez already. but keep in mind that which does not break u, only makes u stronger. it sound pretty damn cliche at the moment, but its very true. Look at it this way, when tough situations come along in the future, your relationship will be strong enough to hold tight through all those adversities...

and as for indian parents....theyre just blowhards...theyll get over stuff in a while..lol...

p.s. go watch russell peters

[Rabican]

If he loves you, he wont give a care in the world if you are the only girl in the world who is interested in him, or if he has 100000000 other bedtime options or conquests.

 

I was all set to marry my first gf/ love etc. (i was a virgin too) and then things went sour (more or less cheating by her... although she wont say that it was).

 

But the bottom line is that I loved her... still do actually... we may get back together. But i was all set to marry her, and could have cared less that i hadnt been with anyone else in the bed.

[ratherbesailing]

Sugarmomma -

 

We're guys, we all admire the women in the Victoria's Secret catalog. That doesn't mean we don't love and adore our girlfriends who aren't models. If he didn't admire them then you might have something to worry about.