Who says the "L" word first in relation, the guy or girl?

[yeawutever]

Like in one of my other post say, never been in a relation yet, so I know nothing about how's it like being in a relation and yes I'm looking, still no luck. Now I know that guys tend to make the first move in kissing and coming up to talk to you, but who says the "L" word first and admits he/she is their soulmate, the guy or the girl."

[Jjasonn28]

Well, in my experience, the second I knew I was in love, I wanted to share it with EVERYBODY! I dont think there is a rule as to who SHOULD say it first. If you feel it, let it be known!

[Stinkweed]

Ailec, I'm in your same boat here. I'm gonna turn 18 in a month, and I still haven't been in a relationship either. And I've been kinda thinking about this too. And I think that if I ever get into a relationship, I'm gonna do whatever I can to not be the first one to say it. Because if the other party doesn't feel the same about me... well, let's just say I'm sick and tired of being "the friend", "the nice one", and all that crap while the others don't really reciprocate. It feels degrading and I just feel fooled... like they don't really deserve it if they are not capable of feeling the same for you.

 

And I figure people lie so much about their feelings all the time that my "plan" is not foolproof anyway, so I might as well end up not saying "I love you too" at all, unless they prove it with actions and not just words. Especially in highschool... I hope that it's not the same throught the whole lifetime...

[redandblack]

In my last relationship, my ex told me she loved me first. At the time, I just wasn't ready for it. I was still guarding myself and my heart. I ended up loving her anyway, but you can guess what happened a year later! (sardonistic joke)

 

But really, don't put limits on your love. If you feel that you are ready to tell someone that you love them, by all means do so. As long as they demonstrate care and empathy, I believe it's okay. However, don't fall 'head over heels' for them if they aren't really into you. Also, make sure you both have the same things in mind for a relationship. For me my only goal is: "to be happy". Other people have laundry lists of what they are looking for and that's fine too.

[woah_jaxsta]

I don't believe that there is a certian gender who admits to this first. In my exprience (haha - very limited) I say it when i feel it and mean it. However since i am with a girl - there is no male to say it first. I told her when i felt it - but she told me first.

[metallicachica247]

pppssssssshhhhhh! it doest matter who says it. whoever feels it and accepts it first says it.

[Nkaleidoscopic]

I don't remember.

 

Just comes natrually I guess.

 

IMO, When you really need to say it you don't feel embarrassed and arent worried at all about what it might come accross as, you just really need to say it.

[acuraman]

Anyone in the relationship can say it first because it doesnt really matter. The only thing that matters is when someone says it, they must mean it and not say it to just say the "L" word.

[RayKay]

Like in one of my other post say, never been in a relation yet, so I know nothing about how's it like being in a relation and yes I'm looking, still no luck. Now I know that guys tend to make the first move in kissing and coming up to talk to you, but who says the "L" word first and admits he/she is their soulmate, the guy or the girl."

 

Whom says the L word varies from couple to couple. I recommend for either though they ensure they DO feel it, and also know enough of their partner to know how they will react to it. In my relationships whomever has said it first, the other person had a good idea the other person felt the same way.

 

As for the soulmate thing - well everyone has different ideas on soulmates. Sometimes people thing someone is the one, and they turn out not to be. It can also add a lot of pressure...what if you tell someone they are your soulmate but they do not feel you are theirs? Would they still be yours?

 

My boyfriend and I prefer to say that we just feel we are meant to be together...and are the right one for each other. But we have also had a few relationship experiences to know that what we have in each other is different and more unique then what we have had before.

[DN]

Well when i told my gf i loved her for the first time she goes..

 

"what? are you sure? why do you think so?"

 

now if that aint a burn and a half, turn off, or a slap in the face...haha...tell me...what is?

 

has she said it back to you yet?

 

Sounds to me as if she wanted reassurance that you really meant it.

[JuStAgIrL31806]

I think that the guy should say it first because the "L" word seems to scare guys off more quickly than it scares the girls. Even if the girl knows she loves the guy, I think she should wait for him to say it...and as acuraman said, only say it if you mean it!

[OceanEyes]

I said "I love you" first in my relationship. Come to think of it, I've said it first in every serious relationship I've been in. It's usually something that has come out by accident, or so naturally that I didn't even think about it first.

 

So I guess I'm going to have to say that it really doesn't matter who says it first. It would obviously be horrific if one of them said, "I can't reciprocate that", but it hasn't happened yet. I wouldn't have said it in the first place if I wasn't sure that the vibe was there on his end, too.

 

Questions to ask yourself before you drop the "L Word"

 

(This is just MY general opinion - obviously every couple is different .)

 

* Does it feel like this person loves me, too?

 

* Do we have a strong mental/ emotional connection?

 

* Does this person treat me with respect, consideration, and honesty?

 

* Do we have heartfelt conversations and confide in each other?

 

* Can I depend on and trust this person?

 

Answering "no" to any of those questions should be a red flag, in my opinion. A person who truly loves you will usually not leave much room for doubt. Oh yeah, and it's usually not a good idea to say "I love you" until you've been dating long enough to know the person's last name.

[nicksonc20]

In my last relationship I said it first. All the other ones before that were not very serious.

 

Although I met a girl a couple weeks ago and she's already saying she loves me all the time. We aren't even dating.