Hi all, I am feeling a little down....

[kellbell]

Well folks,

 

This is the first time I am starting a new topic....

 

I have been feeling really bummed out lately and I guess I need a little "pick me up." Where do I start... this past August my parents informed me that they are contemplating a divorce and things have been really crazy since. They have putting me into the middle, using me as a pawn, they are both in therapy, and now have decided to separate. They have been married 35 years and everything that I thought was so firm and familiar is in question. I always knew my parents' marriage was hard because they are completely different people but I never thought it would come to THIS. I mean we, as a family, have weathered harder storms in the past. Now that ther holidays are coming, I am not at all in the mood to spread or in take part in the Christmas cheer. And my birthday is coming up in a week and a half and really have no idea what to do. I am so angy at my parents right now and at the same time feel very sad for them. I also feel incrediably guilty over the fact I am extremely angry at them both for different reasons. I mean, this cannot be easy for them either. My mom has lost like 25 pounds because she doesn't eat and my dad has lost weight too but I really worry about him because he is a diabetic. I cry a lot over my conflicted feelings towards them both.

 

Another thing I have been struggling with is that my 3.5 relationship with my boyfriend has been shakey for a while, now so more than ever. We had a huge falling out September 19th, on the verge of a break-up but decided to work things out and give everything another chance. But sometimes I feel I cannot relax or be with him and be happy because of my feelings for my parents. It has been a VERY hard year for me and my boyfriend. A lot has happened and I feel very tired.

 

I don't think I have ever felt so sad in my entire life and sometimes I wonder if things will ever be the same or even get better. It's like my whole word has turned upside down. I love coming here and helping others but now I am on the other side. Everyone here is wonderful and gives great support and advice. I just feel I need to get my feelings out I guess. Thanks all for taking the time for reading this. Take care all and be well.

[RooferGirl23]

Parents splitting can be one of the hardest things. for both them and you. They dont realize that they are putting you in the middle. They both want your love, and since they are mad at eachother they compete for it. Mine did that and it got so bad i had to get mad at them and tell them to stop. And it did.

Dont ever blame yourself for them splitting. After all these years, and you are an adult. they dont feel the need to stay together anymore. All people deserve to be happy, and now they feel they have done their job as parents and can move on. Try to be supportive if you can, and if they both agree on the split.

As for YOUR relationship, I think that since there is so much feelings and emotions going on inside of you about your family that it stresses you out and can affect your partner even if you dont see it. I feel that once the parents issue gets going, thats things will improove for you and yours.

Just keep your head up and keep smiling.. this will pass, i promise!! TIME heals all wounds. Its just the adjustment time thats tough. Tell your parents you love them and will be there and do anything, just please dont put me in the middle.

[kellbell]

Thanks RooferGirl. Your words mean a lot to me. I wil try keep up the good spirits, very hard to though at times.

[DN]

Hey, kellbell - how are things now?

[bsp_kjm]

Hey, kellbell - how are things now?

i am curious to know as well, since you had mentioned in one of my threads that youve been a bit down. hope things are ok