If you truely love something, set it free.....

[Simon_se20]

....if it's meant to be, it will come back to you.

 

Well, okay, so how do I keep myself from losing my mind in the meantime???

 

*****

 

I know and have known many wonderful, beautiful, thoughtful women..... but have never persued romantic relationships with them even if they asked me out. Why? Well, because I never felt that "click" with them. So I always kept waiting.

 

It finally happened.... the click came, and she felt the same way! I was actually happy for a moment....

 

I'm no stranger to feeling abandoned, but she always told me "Share with me what you feel. I don't judge, and I'll always be here!" and I believed her.

 

Well, to make a long story short, we went through some tention, and she said some hurtful things out of anger. When I reminded her of what she said, she first tried to ignore it as if she never said it, but then exploded in anger and depression...

 

I really wanted to be there for her and help her through it.... she had told me so much about the things that bother her. We knew each others issues, and I knew that we could get through it together. But she was too angry, and wouldn't trust me anymore...

 

In my trying to be there for her, she got impatient and annoyed, and just said "Goodbye! I need space."... I guess I can be a bit overbearing emotionally... It hurt so much, but I managed to give her a week.

 

When I finally called her and talked to her, it seemed that all that week did was give her time to close off all her emotions for me. She was still angry, and that feeling really seemed to fester inside her...

 

She told me that she was busy, and really didn't have time for friends at this moment... I just reciently learned that it was untrue, and that the only friend that she didn't have time for anymore was me.

 

I feel so hurt, angry, and sad... she lied to me about being busy, and she abandoned me like she said she wouldn't. I WANT to believe that this is just an angry stressful reaction, that she really still is that wonderful human being that I met so long ago.

 

I let her know that I'm waiting for her..... but in the meanwhile, this sadness is overwhelming... I tried love her and help her like she always told me she wanted help... but I failed... I wasn't good enough for her...

 

They say "If you truly love something, set it free. If it's meant to be, it will come back to you"... but what about in the meantime? She'll grow apathetic towards me... my fear of abandment grows, and how can I trust anyone again, let alone her?

 

I have helped so many friends and family threw their problems, and even romantic issues.... and yet now, I can't help myself, and nether can anyone else....

 

Now more then ever, I feel so alone

 

Well, I suppose that is the basics of it.... I'd like to hear any and all opinions you may have... I hope I can at least learn something from this depressing experience.

 

Have a happy 4th of July everyone.

 

- Simon

[Cuu]

In the mean time I think you should just let all your emotions out. break down if you have to. to me, i think it's unhealthy to suppress all your emotions. but the people here said going out with your friends will help you forget about her and past time.

 

I'm waiting for my ex to come back also. if you hang in there, so will i.

[Wildncrazzy4u172]

I know how you feel.. About a month ago my boyfriend left me for another girl and the whole year we were together he always tried to assurre me he would never leave me, and that he was so called "different" than other guys. It was really hard for me to trust him and put aside my pride and independence, but after awhile I didnt have much of a choice because he would always yell at me and tell me how I needed to trust him and bla bla bla.. I guess what I'm trying to say is if you love the girl give her the space she needs. I know that when my ex boyfriend was going through a lot he told me he needed space and he didn't talk to me for about a month or so, but let me tell you.. thats the best thing I couldve done was give him time. I know that I want my boyfriend back more than anything, and its been a month, and I admit I sit in my bed everyday and pray that he'd realize he can't live without me anymore, but things happen for a reason, and if you really want her back than you have to be willing to put up with her anger and how she treats you. You have to forgive her for her lying and bitterness. What i have been doing was doing everything imaginable to keep me busy because I know if I'm alone not doing anything than I'll start to think about him and then everything I feel inside will begin to surface. Just trust in your heart that what shes going through will pass and that maybe eventually yall can work through things and everything will be okay. Be prepared for the worse and hope for the best..

 

If you need anything else.. email me

email removed

 

~Jennifer

[bzborow1]

You made the same fatal mistake many of us have in our lives, you stopped worrying about you.

 

You mentioned she started getting depression? Well chances are she had it before you and will continue to have it long after you. I dated a girl with depression and it was really tough. You spend all your energy helping her get better...then she realizes you can't make her better, she's got to get better for herself.

 

This is the point when she begins to think only of herself. "You're no longer useful to me cause i'm still like this"....then they increasingly become selfishly fixated on their own problems...most of them i've found will then say something like, "i need space"...."i need to find myself", etc. And it's all true. You can't be in a relationship with someone if you're that mentally screwed up...it's not fair to her or you. When you meet someone who is not that way you'll realize how little you've actually lost in all this. In fact, you've already lost the baggage she brought with her onto you.

 

Remember all things happen for a reason. There is going to be someone else out there better for you. In the future, remember that you are there to be WITH someone, not to babysit all their emotional problems.

 

Good luck...

[Simon_se20]

I want to thank you all for replying to me... it does make me feel a bit better.

 

To Cuu, I kinda have been "letting it out" alot. It got to the point where I had to stop going to work for fear of breaking down in the middle of something. I almost did the last days I was there... even got sick in the bathroom.

 

Sometimes I do try to go out with friends, but my mood has gone really down. The smallest things remind me of my grief. My friends have even meationed to me that they "don't want to hang out with someone who's going to be a downer"...

 

I will try to hang in there, though. I hope you do to.

 

To Wildncrazy, I am trying so hard to give her that space, but the fear of what might happen while I'm not there is paralizing to me.

 

I know the good person that is inside her. I know she doesn't normally treat people this way. And I know that if she would give me the chance, I would forgive her for everything... I WANT to forgive her, if she would only speak to me and let me be her friend.

 

However, I do have this sinking feeling in my heart in the worst way....

 

To "Bzborow1", I understand what you are saying...

 

Yes, she did have these problems before she met me. She did a great job of hiding, ignoring, and avoiding them, too. She was very strong, though, and was able to take care of business all the time.

 

Right now, I feel like the baggage she brought to me was *nothing* compared to the baggage I feel right now without her...

 

Helping her out was greatly helping myself out! I was so strong when I was around her. I felt better, worked harder, and looked physically better. It made me feel so good to think that I was helping her out, and she would even tell me that my help was wonderful...

 

You give very sound advice. Thank you so much, and I hope that you are doing well in your romantic relationships and in your life.

 

Thank you all, and take care of yourselves.

[doblersdream]

Hi Simon

 

I totally understand what you're going through. There isn't really anything that's going to make you feel better right now. You're just gonna have to ride out the storm. It will get easier.

 

If you have the time, have a read through my story. You might find we share some common ground. I'd be happy to chat on msn if you need some moral support.

[Simon_se20]

To doblersdream,

 

Thanks very much for the support. I appreciate it. I will try to ride out the storm as best as I possibly can.

 

If anyone wished to contact me, please send me an e-mail at email removed

 

Thanks again, everyone!