When the juice really isn't worth the squeeze; Move on!

[FCTex]

Maybe so.. I just can't see going back to something so tarnished at the moment when I've seen to found something so unexpectedly great...

 

Why give her another shot with me, when I'm happy the way I am now... If the time comes for her and I again, I'd love to try, right now I can't go with what she wants, when she wants. Life doesn't work that way.

As hard as it is.. I've got to just continue my path.

[Jasmine]

all the best to you.

 

only YOU knows what's best.

[FCTex]

I think I could fall in love w/ this new women. It's amazing to realize how far we as people can move on with the past.

 

Just months ago I was ready to die, ready to give up. I said I couldn't love and didn't want to love again. I didnt see myself in any other plans than the ones I had with my ex...

 

Then when she comes around, I don't want her. I do, but I can't.. It would be wrong for me to take her back and to work something out. She's kept her boyfriend. She's expressed how unhappy she is, that she thinks of me alot, and she still to this very day contacts me. Asks me to dinner, to movies, to coffee, to hang out. Mentions that she'll be working at my plant during the holiday.. Calls and invites me to church, every week. I don't reply to her text, or her calls. I want too, but I feel so wrong.

I feel like her contact is only asking for trouble with my current girlfriend.

 

All in all. I believe that what we fight for in the end, is not what we originally wanted in the beginning. What you want today, is not what you will want down the road. One day, One Month, One Year. It could all change.

 

When you finally get what you want, or can have, you don't want it. You realize that it's not worth what you've given for it.. Your gamble was not worth the pot. You flopped...

 

This is probably the hardest thing ever.. Not going back.. I still think of her sometimes.. rarely.. Only when she contacts me or if someone says something.... It's hard.. I ind myself feeling ashamed that I think of her sometimes, even when I'm som incrediably happy with this new women..

 

Live strong everyone... Do it for you.

[chaos]

Don't be too down on yourself about still thinking of her. She was extremely important to you for a long time... I still think about my gf from highschool sometimes and it's been 14 years. You're doing the right thing by cutting contact, it wouldn't be right while you're with someone else. Have you told the new girl about her? Maybe telling the new girl about the ex and what she's doing and how you feel about it will help you to feel better... getting it all out in the open so you don't feel like you're hiding something from her? Just a suggestion though... you gotta do whatever feels right.

 

Good luck with the new girl... can't say I'm not a little envious.

[FCTex]

Well, as I expected.. I'm falling more and more for this new girlfriend of mine..

 

On the other side of the spectrum? I called it again.. My ex is having a rough holiday season.....without me.

 

It's pretty much picked up on the text/calling. I had to see her at the company christmas party. Her mother wanted to catch up.. She was upset about not seeing me as much and even said something to my ex about missing me apparently.. They talk about me at the house alot from what I understood... They all miss me.

 

My ex has made leaps and bounds about understanding what she did, and has shown some extreme remorse for her actions... She's dropped her pride, and realized she hurt me, and for no reason.. Her mother and grandmother both have expressed what a terrible thing she had done, and with no reason to cause...

 

In the end.. She's now begging, not asking, but begging for me back. She cries.. She cried when she saw me at the company party.. She broke down and hugged me as I said Merry Christmas, and acted completely fine and went on my way... She texts me and calls me alot more now. While it's all great, I've told her it will cause problems in the future with my new affair... I told her to continue working on herself, and that I do, and will always love her, as my first love, but that right now, I need to see what I want, and do what I want. She had her shot at me, she had my world, my heart and my love, and it wasn't good enough then, and she needs to re-think if it'll be good enough in the future..

 

I told her I can not break my new girls heart, she's so innocent in this all. I told her I want to continue with my life as is, without her, and see where it takes me.. But that I would like to maintain a low level friendship if willing and if possible in the future, considering our backgrounds, our history, and my job interaction with her and her family for years to come.

 

Who knows where this will lead. She's unhappy with out me, and said she would marry me the next go around, and doesn't want to try again, but wants to be together and married this time, no trying, just doing.... I told her I can't right now, but I still think of it.. That I fight it... But right now, I'm wanting to be for me, and I can't see dropping good, for somethign that was once great but now tarnished. I told her I need my time, and my trials, before I could give her such a drastic answer. I can't say this has affected me because it has.

 

Rough holidays I know.. But I'm so strong for this all, and I'm really thankful for what I have, and have learned this year... 2006 shall be even better I believe.

 

Stay very very strong everyone.. We all get our chances to shine, and even in the midst of our pasts coming to grips with the bad, and the good, we must maintain ourself in the end.

 

Happy Holidays.

[perseverance_rules]

FCTex, you seem to be very well ahead of your years by the way you jsut posted that. You seem to know exactly what it takes now to move on and take risks with what is good in your life now. I passed up the chance once in my life to be with a VERY attractive and good woman, and ended up marrying the woman I later divorced, and when that was over the beautiful lady I passed up had moved on...you only get one shot sometimes. Make it your all bud. Seems like you have all the scenarios and answers on the table in front of you and a plan of action laid out. Good luck and merry christmas to you.

 

PR

[FCTex]

If you don't risk it all in love, you risk losing it all in love...

 

I think it's all a time table.. and her timing was off... again...

 

I have to stay strong, and take the road of lesser broken hearts.

[FCTex]

I've just seen alot of post lately about being hung up on ex's and wanting them back just because..

 

I thought I'd push this to the top for those who missed it!

 

Stay strong.

[nx2chaos]

Whoa, This was a great post. FcTex, you will one day meet that special person who honestly deserves you.

I sure hope it will happen to me, but I am not looking for it. It will find me.

 

It has been two months and a bit, from the time my whole life was ripped away. 8 years of the sacrifices and heartache. Goodtimes and Badtimes. I treated her like a queen, only to be tossed out like a peasant from a castle I was working so hard to build. I too went through the stages of denial, anger, suspicion, gut feelings. To find out that at the end of it all, she used me to get what she needed and now she's moving on.

 

I started NC, well the best I can do since I still have to be civil to talk to my son. I dont call her anymore, I moved out. She on the other hand calls me, asks me how I am doing. Wondering where I am. She also want to have this best friends routine. I told her I cant do that. When we talk she always comes accross as being confused, giving me glimpses of hope that we might rekindle the relationship we had. But I might be mistaken and maybe she is happy with her decision. I just could not believe that this person I loved with all my heart would do this to me, not to mention my son. When finally I had that one day, where I was so low that I could not even shake it. It hit me so hard that I said to myself, why do I keep setting myself up to be hurt. I decided I need to find myself and make myself whole again.

 

I dont know if it will ever come to the point where she will come back. I do care and love her as much as I did before. But is it really worth all the pain I am going through? I dread the day when she finds out what she really had and realizes that she just let go of the best thing in her life. Honestly I really would not know what to do or to say.

 

Well I got cut things short.

 

Thanks all for listening.

[FCTex]

It's okay to feel that way..

 

We all tell ourselves, and while we might not whole heartedly believe it now, or ever even- but that we DO NOT need them. It's true in the sense, and while each situation is different like a finger print, we all have the same thing in common... That we find the hurt, the pain, the wrong doings, and use those against our ex's for a reason to stay away..

 

I wouldnt begin to know where to start if my ex came around again. I wouldn't.. I tried once, and it just wasn't right.. Even though you want it so badly.. You do once again have to ask..

 

Is this all worth it? IS THE JUICE WORTH THE SQUEEZE?

 

Stay strong.

[blueberrypie]

Exactly what I need to hear now.

Thanks FCTex!

[rsxguy520]

FCTex, bravo on your thread.. its really inspiring and helpful to those that are currently in that limbo phase, such as myself. What you did is right, and i commend you for that. It's not easy to look back especially if you have something new, a new opportunity given to you. Well she found that the grass wasn't as green as she thought. now its your turn to find out as well. and maybe all the suffering you went through might possible make this new grass extra greener. who knows. but this has been very helpful for me to realize a lot of things. never to look back, and just look forward into life. thanks for you story, its been nothing but positive motivation for me.!after 3.5 years with the ex, i know i can find something out there thats better and won't do me wrong like my ex. i wish you nothing but the best with your new girlfriend!!!

[daletroN]

bump good post

[FCTex]

Thanks everyone.. This is an old post, but brings me back to the days when I thought life was a huge black cloud..

 

I'm still with that "new" girl. Although she's not "new", we're 1 year, 3 months into each other, and learning new things each day. Just shy of what I spent with my said ex in the posts..

 

I also learned from my ex's dad today, that she's newly single..

 

Maybe I'll be expecting a call from the old flame, in which case, I can frankly say.. I'll be sending to voicemail.

 

Stay strong and smile folks.