He's so happy we are "friends" wtf?????

[sibling295]

Okay i really need advice ! Short story 17 month relationship he broke up with me because he felt pressured. He explained to me that i in No way pressured him for marriage and kids (i didnt) It was all something he created in his mind. (it is) He tells everyone (mutual friends) that he still loves me but we want different futures. So i beg and plead but eventually a week later i say okay thank you i can meet someone else. Well then he starts callin"I still love you , want to be friends" I say okay we are friends. Well, of course, everything now is great. We are back to sleeping together and now he says lets take this day by day , but i am a little taken a back. I do love him and yes i want to marry him and maybe one day have a child. My question is does this faking being great friends ever work? I say faking because i am. Plus i am alittle upset he went around and told everyone we were broken up. I told him this and he apologized but i cant help but be embaressed. I am focusing on my own life and happiness now but still at night feel down that he was so willing to walk. Not to mention had i not gone along with this friendship we wouldnt even be together today. does this make sense? Sorry just wondering if anyone has had this expierence and it led to rekindled love. Thanks in advance.

[melrich]

Long term, faking anything does not work.

 

I am a bit confused by your post. It sounds like you are back together, seeing each other, sleeping together...but you are drawing a distinction somehow? It is not like your relationship was before the break?

[Reilly2856]

You are simply in a relationship of "friends with benefits". You pretend that you don't want to marriage nor children, instead, going along with what he wants...do I have the right idea of what your saying?

 

If so, then the answer is pretty obvious. I will advise that you start thinking about what you want. Being with someone who wants something completely different from your own expectations will not last long. Since you know that this relationship (due to the differences between your expectations) has no future, why pursue it? By hanging on, you are investing more and in the end, it will only result in more heartache.

[danylion]

I have just gone through a similar process. My ex finished our relationship (which I was really loving and I had no idea it would end). He said that we wanted different things, I was at an age where i would start wanting marriage and children (even though i don't....but I might and there is NOTHING wrong with that). So he decided that was that!

 

Like you he still wants the friend thing, he moves out but wants contact but not commitment. I think that is wrong, and immature......cake and eat it spring to mind.

 

Basically you deserve to be with someone who wants a future with you and doesn't ask you to compromise all the time, especially children!

 

You might end up resenting him later years on. Don't be fake be honest, you want to marry him one day. Don't live in hope of this because you deserve better, so much better.

 

If it feels wrong and you're having doubt then it probably is.

 

Sorry if this depresses you but good luck and you are stronger than you think at least the next relationship you have you will know exactly what you want. That is round the corner and you are sharper than ever! Go forward.

[sibling295]

thank you all for your responses! I will take it all into consideration...