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Help with OverProtective parents

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Hey i need some help. I have really messed up parents like they are demented. I'm 17 in DEC and im going for my licence next week, so far i learned that im not allowed to drive out of my town and not allowed to drive without a destination. I'm not allowed to have a job in another town, regardless if i have to find a way to pay for half of the insurance. Now, im not a druggy or jock at my school i get all A's and B's for grades. I don't do anything wrong. All the rest of my friends have their licences and ask if i wanna chill but i can't because my parents don't know them. The other kids drive around like they have all day just having fun, enjoying the road. I've had my permit for 10 months and at the last minute they made me take 30 hours of driving school even though im by the instructors point of view "way to experienced to be in this class". I wasnt planning on abusing my licence, but to use it to get a childhood as i've never been allowed to do much of anything. I try talking to them frequently about allowing me to have some slack and they agree ya know the usual sure sure sure.... and end up completely discarding the convorsation. I can't go hang out with my friends down town, and no im not in like harlem i live in a rural town in the middle of no where. I'm not allowed up past 10 o' clock and they are lazy too. They never drive me to friends houses and always have something to complain about. So now im psycologically deprived of needs that i need for my future as an adult. I got some of it only because since they don't allow me to do much of anything besides go to school, im on the internet all day and night or on my cell phone. I'm real glad i got NEXTEL's free incoming minutes other wise i would be royally f_____. Oh yeah did i mention i have to be home at 9:30pm ON THE WEEKENDS.And having a girlfriend is just peachy, so they can spy every five minutes on us and ruin it. Not even allowed to have a girl over my house, it has to be a planned activity regardless that they never drive me out of town which is about 10 minutes at the max of driving, in addition i have a walmart and ....thats it in my town. So now that i've rambled about my deprived life what most kids can't wait for, their licence, i couldnt give a flying F about it whether i pass or fail. For the way this is going i don't know why i invested all this time into trying to get it in the first place. I'm actually depressed about it. I'ts like someone is making me pay 1500 dollars to let me stay at home and continue doing nothing. when they asked why i smoked i gave them a blank stare (take a wild guess). I just need some input, help, or something here. I'm such a wimp i never got the chance to say i won't put up with it,or well i did and it ment nothing. Someone please help me. Am i supposed to wait till im 18 or something? Please help 911

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Yeah it sounds like your parents are being a little bit out of hand. But remember, your still 16. And you'll be 17. It may seem old to you, but not to them. And honestly... not to me. So don't think of yourself as deserving adult treatment. But your not exactlly 9 either. Your not out of the woods til your in college. Until then, hang in there. Respect your parents because they care about you. On the otherhand... if you gotta pull some shhhh....tuff, do it for the sake of your sanity and your rebel teenage years.


btw How could anyone blame you? I'd be smoking too.

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DOn't worry. I am sure there are a lot of young people in the situation you are in. When I got my license, my parents put massive restrictions on what I could do, even though I had been practicing for my license for over three years before I actually got it.


Don't worry...there are lotz and lotz of cute girls on the bus. Lots of them...rather than getting upset, why don't you start planning how you can pick some of them of them up.......

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Does seem very harsh, the restrictions your under, if I was under them I would be going insane. But look at it this way you are achieving very good grades. But have you ever sat down to discuss these restrictions and how they are making you feel, and say they are slowing your socil development. You cant have a healthy life unless you social health good, and you cant achieve this if your not allowed to your friends houses. Make them trust you, and let them know you will act responsibly but be sure to do nothing to violate that trust, otherwise it would be out of order on your parents and also bring back down the shakkles on you.

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dude i had this problem only 10 times worse...i turn 18 and my curfew was reduced an hour from 1 to 12...i was PISSED.


I sat them down and said you know what?....just let go, im an adult, ive been responsible my entire highschool career even when face to face with it, why stop trusting me now? and they backed off. I even got my curfew lifted rofl.

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My parents were like this as well, I couldn't go out with friends, couldn't have friends over, couldn't take the bus home from school even. When I was 16 I couldn't handle it any more, turned to the only escape I could. I started smoking weed to just have an escape, gave up on school, lost a scholarship to a university. My mom compleatly turned on me, I went to stay with my cousin and started doing more drugs and being irresponsible and it made me feel good because I knew it got her mad. But in the end it just made me depressed and I locked myself in my room for a year w/o contact with anybody and went nuts. I don't think parents get the mental trauma they inflict by being overly protective. I was to the point that my mom didn't have to worry if I were in a car accident, I was going to kill myself. I started to cut myself, became compleatly self destructive. I find it so hard to talk to my peers now, we have nothing in common. Its like yea, I did drugs and say in my room cutting myself, what did you do? oh? go to the club? hmm...


You really need to get out of the house, show them a back bone.

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Heym i totally know how you feel, my parents won't even let me like go on the internet wihtout asking, they think i'm on the food network website, LOL. My parents are pretty messed up too. THey think it is bad for me to hang out with my friends. ANd from the looks of it i won't even get my permit. I don't really know what to do, but now, i just ignore them and try not to let them ruin my life.

Good luck,


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  • 2 years later...

My parents did a lot of what your parents did. I didn’t even have a car until I was 17 ½ and the day after my mom needed to go to work so I was still catching the bus to school. None of my friends were allowed at the house and I was only allowed to go to 1 or 2 friend’s house. No boyfriends, no phone after some ridiculous time and I had to go to bed early.


As I earned my parents’ trust, they laxed on some stuff and I was able to drive my dad’s clunky van (whoopee!) to visit my girl friend and hang out. I still wasn’t allowed to go to parties until after I graduated.


However, I went to college 1000 miles away. Although I didn’t get too wild, I did catch up on my “social development”. Plus, I stayed focused enough to graduate and go on for my post-grad, plus get a decent job. I came through it all without a car wreck, baby, or drug problems.


Although it seems crazy unfair now, your parents are just concerned about you. Better that they’re a little overprotective instead of not protective enough, I say. You only have 2 years until you’re a free man, so count down the days and stay focused on preparing yourself on life after 18.

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