frail

After a break-up, it's very hard to control yourself all of the time with your emotions going crazy. You did what many of us have done, including me. Your not stupid. You have realized it was a mistake. At least you know you won't take his behavior anymore and truly want to move on. You were just overcome by those pesky emotions. It's alright. I think your strong. Your telling us you feel you deserve better by saying you can't believe you called him. YOU DO DESERVE BETTER!! Your on the right track. But next time you get worked up, hide the phone from yourself… delete his speed dial… or tie up the line by calling a good friend. Maybe the one that always cracks you up! Take care J

Yeah it sounds like your parents are being a little bit out of hand. But remember, your still 16. And you'll be 17. It may seem old to you, but not to them. And honestly... not to me. So don't think of yourself as deserving adult treatment. But your not exactlly 9 either. Your not out of the woods til your in college. Until then, hang in there. Respect your parents because they care about you. On the otherhand... if you gotta pull some shhhh....tuff, do it for the sake of your sanity and your rebel teenage years. btw How could anyone blame you? I'd be smoking too.

If I were to ask you what were the top 3 things that are most important in a relationship, what would you say? I would think that loyalty would be one of them. Loyalty. Synonyms of loyalty are as fallows: reliability, dependability, devotion, and trustworthiness. Serious serious words here. I'm surprised so many people insist on blowing it off and thinking that a relationship can survive without it. You can try and work it out. But do you think you'll be able to completely drop it? We may forgive, we may think we have forgiven. We don't forget. You will be increasingly more suspicious, and more jealous. The relationship will fall apart. And what sucks is that HE will blame YOU for it because of how you'll start to react to and/or accuse him for things that really aren't a big deal, or things he didn't do. And he'd be right! Even though it's unfair because his unfaithfulness caused you to be that way. Either that or he'll do it again. If you let him walk all over you now… he will continue to. It's amazing that the people who think you know like the back of your hand, you don't really know at all. Sometimes you can't trust people. Even the ones you love. Make the right choice for you. And if you decide to stick with him, then I hope you prove me wrong. Take care. Btw. I don't believe people who say NEVER. You can't guaranty the future.

I met my boyfriend here online. I was bored one day and IMed a few people from my area who had nice profiles on yahoo. He messaged me back eventually. We talked online, then on the phone, then we went out. And it's only almost been 2 months, but things have been going wonderfully.

Pyralis, Good Luck on your road to medical treatment. I hope it helps you out alot. Someone in here, i think PADreamer, said you have to give it your 110% to get better. She's right. I Think that's what caused me to fail, i didn't try hard enough. So DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN!!! Over the summer i saw a psychologist for the first time and then eventually was put on some meds but it didn't turn out to well. I didn't like my therapist and i got every single side-effect the pill box listed, which caused me to spend many days in bed. And it kinda scared me away, but now here i am back to the way things used to be. A big ol ball of joy, sarcastically speaking. If you don't like your therapist, get a new one. If the meds don't work, try different ones. Hopefully you'll find out what works for you sooner then later. John, i'm happy to here things are much better

Hey guys. Oh yeah classes are getting on my last nerve. But only 2 more weeks or so. We'll make it and it'll feel oh so good when it's over. OH SO GOOD!!!

I was dateing a guy from work for a little over a month until he dumped me over the weekend, after a night out once again ended on a sour note. It seemed like throughout the whole, short relationship, he did nothing but missunderstand me. But i liked him none-the-less. We work together, and he began to flirt with me, and then finally he admitted he had a crush on me. Then eventually we started dateing. But i should've figured in the beginning that things wern't gonna go right when it seemed he would attack me and get on my case about things that just seemed petty. He made me laugh sometimes. And i like him alot. I just made the stupid mistake of letting myself be so weak just because i was so lonely and desperate. I only had one bf before him, a 3 year LDR. So this has been every different for me. We should've been friends first. He still wants to be friends, and so do i. But, everytime i see him my stomach turns. Whenever he comes into work i can't look him in the face. I tell myself to just let it go but i freak whenever i see him. And when i do look him in the face, he gives me a sad look. I don't know what to do.

Men to avoid... hmmmm. Men who think or act like their life has more worth then yours. \

lol ummmm... I didn't receive a warning but yeah so i'll just assume that my post was the straw that broke a camels back? I think i've might have been the last poster although i could be wrong. I don't recall using profanity or calling anyone names. But now that i think about it i have used scenerios to contradict statements, that other people may find a bit out of hand. Although i find closeing the topic to be a wee bit absurd. I'm sorry. I apoligize for my participation and i will refrain myself from posting so much if at all. My postings have been a bit of a brush-off anyways.

lonelynshy, I think you should stick with what you feel and what you really want. And not go with what "everybody" else is doing. I don't see how anyone would want to "be" with someone they don't truly love. I think i had an offer 2 weeks ago. It's actually kinda funny. The guy i had mentioned at work who i liked, well, until after i found out he was not what i expected him to be. While we were working (together with no one else around) he made a remark "i need to get laid. Oh did i say that out loud?" out of no where. I mean iw asn't even talking to him. Then he looked over at me with this look. I looked up at him and asked where the el that came from and called him tainted. Made some other comment also. That may have been one of the only times i tryed to purposely make a guy feel bad. I can't believe he said that after a week before, i expressed my feelings for him and told me he just wanted to be friends. Hanging around with the other people at work, he's seeing how many people are so... easy, and not to self-respecting i guess, talking about "it" alot. And it's getting to his head that he has to go out and "lose it" to be what? cool? an adult? i don't know. So i guess my job was to think about it get back to him and say hey wanna come over my place, my dads not home. I don't think so. I used to like the guy. Which i guess can be kinda tempting being as a lonely female i am but now i see him in a whole different light. I lost respect for him. And i definatlly don't love him so why would i "be" with him. That's not what i want. And i'm not about to do something i'm going to regret.

Welcome Warner! I'm pretty shy myself. I also go to college and i don't talk to much in class. I never volunteer to answer questions and i don't usually talk the other people there. If i'm lucky i make a few aquantences who take the time to try to talk to me. I'm too shy to say something first but i don't put up too much of a fight when someone trys to talk to me. I used to be painfully shy in high school but in college i've also decided to change. I cut my hair short which suited me alot better, and kicked the habit of wearing cloths that were 5 times to big for me and started to wear things a little more feminine instead of just band shirts and blue jeans. I'm somewhat of a tom-boy still. I also lost some weight. I want to say congradulations to you. That's a great achievement! My confidence really turned around when i started my job at school. It took a semester but after that i started to come out of my shell because i became very comfortable with everyone there. Then they discovered the crazy nut i am. And i discovered that they really really liked me when i was out of my shell. They made me realize that i am pretty cool. As for outside of work, i haven't progressed to much. Actually what works best for me is going out with the people i'm comfortable with. It's easier talking with new people when i have my friends around for some reason. I have the confidence when i'm with them so my shyness just goes away. The more friends i'm around, the better. I guess that's the only suggestion i can give givin i'm still shy for the most part. Go out with alot of your friends and meet new people while your out. You'll be feeling more comfortable i think. At work i worked up enough courage to be a little aggressive with 2 different guys in terms of asking them to hang out which i've NEVER done before and never thought i could do because i freak around guys. I guess i was just lucky to land the job i did at the time i did with the people who were there.

There was one thing that our new poster Adam said that stood out to me. He said, "I'm about ready to say forget it and go on and concentrate on work and my career". And it got me to thinking. What are we suppose to be doing at our age? I think it's working to become the person we're going to be for the rest of our lives! We should be working on our plans for the future. Preparing us for what's to come in life with knowledge and skills. Once you earn a degree, you have it forever. Unfortunately love isn't like that. You'd be lucky to find someone to spend your WHOLE life with. They're out there. But look at those divorce rates, look at all those single parents out there. I don't think you should give up hope. But you can't go out and work for love like you can for a career. Love comes at it's own time whether you like it or not. And love only comes when you are being yourself. PAdreamer is right. Stop trying different ways to get these girls. Be yourself. That's one thing you got forever. It's truly yours. Your beliefs, morals, personality, etc. Don't go and change it for a bunch of girls you don't even know. I mean if you have to change yourself for them, they're not worth it anyways. John, how would you live with yourself going to do what your saying your going to do, knowing that's not really who you are? You're just creating a whole new set of problems. Please take good care of yourself. Lonleynshy, I'm glad to hear you stood up for yourself. All that time it took to get over her so why the heck would you take her back only to most likely have to get over her again? " I fell out of love with you." and all that so sorry i hurt you take me back stuff. HA! Sometimes sorry doesn't cut it. Falling out of love is the worst excuse. Did she feel she was too good enough to admit she's a stupid idiot, a b**ch? With every break-up comes a lesson. She learned from her recent relationship that she never should've dumped the good guy and go out with an a**hole. Your lesson from her... don't stick around with those who obviously have a problem not knowing what they want. Or too blind to see what a great thing they have when they have it. They'll just end up hurting you. It's their problem if they're stupid. It DOESN'T have to be yours. Someones wishing they could give you guys a hug over here. You guys need hugs. Take care! Because Frail says so!

Have you ever in your life called someone ugly? To their face, in a note, or whatever? Probably not. Because you, like everyone else here, treat people the way you'd want to be treated. The people who go around putting down others do it to make them feel better about themselves. And that's a classic line but it's true. We've all been humiliated. But like i had said before, it's how you handle it that makes a difference. We all gotta step up and take control of how we react... eventhough it's hard to do. Outlaw, i'm glad to hear that your doing much better then what i had thought. I'm currently taking a sabbatical from my job. I've recently been humiliated and have reacted in a way only making it worse for myself. So i figure i needed some time off and get back in control. Get myself back into order, relax and enjoy the summer. I'm also open to making a few online friends. If anyone cares to chat about this subject or something else then this subject, let me know.

Yup, you've got to be happy with yourself before you get into a relationship. Because if you get into a relationship without finding a way to be happy on your own, then it puts a strain on that relationship. It's like having one person be all the reason of your happiness and existence. Everytime my former bf and i got into a disagreement, he would call me aterwards afraid i slit my wrists or something. And i could understand that it was baggage on his shoulders that any little negative thing could cause me to get really depressed. I admit that was one thing i did wrong with that relationship. It took the break-up for me to learn to be happy with myself on my own. Luckly i didn't have to blame myself for the break-up. In the end, he turned out to be the jerk.

There are too many sad faces on these guys so I've made brownies for everyone. Lovingly prepared with the ingredients inculded in the Pillsbury box. It all went to waste though when I tried to shove it in the spare phone jack in the back of my computer. Had to shell out nine-hundred bucks for a new computer. So virtual brownies would have to do. Besides… the thought of brownies alone would put a smile on anyones face. THINK BROWNIES!!! (i know... i'm a geek) You all had excellent points for my question. My own answer, well it sucks either way really in my eyes. If you never loved at all, you constantly wonder what your missing, and you feel as if your not worthy for such a wonderful thing. On the other hand, to have loved and lost, you know whats out there. You know how nice it is to love and be loved but knowing you can't have it makes you feel like a failure just the same. I mean you were sad cause you never had it. And then you have it and lose it? That sucks all the same. But I also agree with the fact that if you have loved and lost, you know more about what your looking for. Outlaw, i'd have to agree twice with Caldus when he says you must be hanging around with the wrong people because that's not cool at all. And everytime i liked a guy for his personality, it didn't matter what he looked like. In fact, everytime i would look at him he would look more and more attractive to me on the outside as well. You need to stop caling yourself ugly. Please stop. It's soundin like your worst enemy is yourself here.

They are confusing PAdreamer. But it's not normal for guys and girls to understand each other. We all know that, it's just really frustrating! Ya some girls (and guys) are just looking to go to bed with someone, where I guess the looks matter a bit but hey, that's not the type of girl your looking for so why bother and why dwell on it. It's not worth killing yourself over something you CANNOT CHANGE. People are people and people can suck. But you can't change them. You can only change how you feel and react to it. Depression comes in this situation yes, but sometimes people add on to it when they shouldn't be. I was there, being depressed... felt like if only one guy would think I was beautiful inside and out, I'd be set for life. But I was smothered with hopelessness. And I still can be that way every once in a while. But letting those feelings stick around, is no good. Whoa there, back up that girl-bashing caboose. I do take that into offense. I know what I want; it's what I once had. If I made it sound like all guys go after the bad type, I apologize. But I hear an awful lot of... ALL girls this… and MOST girls that. Truthfully… we are all not that experienced if experienced at all with the opposite sex and love. We are all fairly young. Who are we to make these sorts of comments? Don't take offense… I'm including myself. Although experiences in life give us the right to feel the way we feel. And I feel bad that you are all hurting, the way you are. Here's a question for you all. True or False? It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. I kinda know what some of you are going to say though. I'll tell you my opinion later.

I was going to try and hold back from posting tonight. I was just going to read and listen but i just can't help but be amazed on all the different veiws, opnions, and feelings guys (and girls) have on this particualr situation (having trouble finding a mate). First off guys... I've read alot about height. I don't recall ever hearing girls talk down on a guy for their height. And this is coming from a girl... whom goes out with and girl talks with girls, different kinds. I think you guys are looking in the wrong places. You guys always seem to chase after the wrong type for your type and completely ignore the girls whom are like you. Lets make a scenerio. You go to a club with your buddies. They always go off and find girls to talk to but you always have trouble, the girls you approach blow you off, or they take the time to talk to you but sound unintrested. So you sit down at the table. Looking over at the dance floor. Checking out the girls and sinking into your sorrow that you can't get a chick. Well uhhh.... how about the one over at the table over there sitting by herself. Feeling the same way you are. Do you stop and consider her, she's got time to talk to you, she's sitting there by herself with the same lonely look on her face. But you always seem to overlook them and stare at the perfectly formed female molecules dancing on the floor and wondering why ALL girls wouldn't give you the time of day. And if you do go over to that lonely girl at the table, Please consider that she may be just like you. She may feel a little awkward just like you may feel. So if she acts weird, don't just consider right away that she doesn't like you. Secondly... I've had this thing going on with a guy at work the past couple months. he asked me what i looked for in a guy. I said personality is what's important. He didn't let me get futher then that. He didn't let me say i like "old-fashined guys" who would treat me like a lady (you knwo what i mean). His remark was "Yeah right that's what you all say but it isn't true". So you all refuse to believe that there is some girls out there who aren't that shallow. Well anyways.. this same guy whom i'll refer to as A, i liked. And we went to the movies twice. As friends i guess. Wasn't really sure since i haven't had a guy friend since elementary. Spent several months trying to figure out what this guys deal was. Don't think he is all that experienced with girls. He's quite, shy, and sheltered. Not that experienced when it comes to going places and doing things. And i thought this was great, and if a relationship doesn't come out of it, at least we can be friends and i'll have a buddy to hang with. So what happens? Well a gal at work knew about me liking him. We'll refer to her as G. We went out one night to a club for a co-workers b-day party, A asked me to go with him. So we got there... and G, couldn't believe it, started dancing ALL over A on the dance floor. She wasn't intrested in him. And for geez sakes she got married a few months ago. So just cuz of that, at work he fallows her around like a puppy dog. G wants nothing to do with him, and he always asks her if he could hang out with her but she always gets herself out of letting him come along. I've talked to him after the night at the club because G and i got into a rageing fight, and i stand on my word, a true friend would never do that to another friend, what she did to me. She knew i liked him and she didn't take that into consideration when she was just looking for attention from a guy. Anyways, A had told me he didn't have feelings for me the way i had for him, but he really really wanted to be friends and asked me to call him if i wanted to hang out. I told him to call me instead. In otherwords saying... i'm not chaseing you no more. Besides if i sat there and called, even if he'd ask me too, he may turn around and think i was obsessed with him. So what happens? No calls. He hasn't attempted to further our friendship, although when i talked about going to the waterpark this weekend he seemed to be intrested in inviteing himself so he's have something to do, Darn, i guess G turned him down again huh? Well what do ya know! So he's so obsessed with hanging out with G and chaseing after something he can't have and then when it comes to me... Ah... i don't know. He's a headache. I can't even stand going to work no more and seeing his face. I think i found a nice guy... but he's just blind i guess. So you see... a VERY detailed report on being a shy lonely girl... meeting a shy lonely guy.... who picks the loud-mouthed, outgoing and social, wild and crazy, married girl. Who wants nothing to do with him but have his attention. And he gives it to her. lol. So why do you pick the ones whom aren't intrested and ignore the ones that are, and then complain about not finding a girl. Who is intrested? HELLO!!!! I'm sorry you guys.. i myself have been sheltered and not too many people whom i talk to face to face, give me a chance to talk and share what i feel and what i have to say in these cases so here you guys are, hearing me blab. If you would like to request only 3 lines posts from me, you can. I'm shocked to see guys care so much. It gives me hope actually that i have a chance on finding nice guy... like you guys. It's hard, but it's not bad to be nice.

awww don't feel bad. I'm sure you've herd it time and time again, that if they aren't going to give you a chance, then they're not worth it. Although it gets really frustrating when they don't EVER give you a chance. And yes there are girls who like the nice guys. Because there are also the "Nice girls finish last" group out there and i'm a member. I don't get many chances either. But chin up, a nice girl will come along eventually and realize how wonderful you are.

Aww man, i'm retarded. No... i'm just not as smart as i wish to be lol. You said "ever since i was 7"... i read quickly through that and thought it said he was 7. Ok well in that case... ask for a key for your room. My best-friend had to get a door knob with a key for her room because her older sister kept going through her stuff. That's CRAZY!!! ABSOLUTELY CRAZY! Tell him to get a job an buy his own street signs! lol jk

I think maybe your brother is just being a little brother. But that's still no excuse. I can't relate to you about how you feel with your stuff being stolen because i am the younger sibling. I have one brother who is 7 years older then me. I've noticed you and your brother have quite a big gap in age difference too. And i know when i was little i drove my brother up the wall. Your old enough to where you want a certain amount of privacy and him entering your room and stealing your stuff is a violation of that privacy. And that's just not cool. But he may not understand that. I remember i stole some stuff from my brother, but mostly for the sole purpose that it was HIS stuff. I didn't need it. His stuff was way cooler then mine. And plus, it was his. My brother, the guy i looked up to and whom i put on the pedistool no matter how bad he treated me sometimes. Back then i don't think i understood why he would get so upset if i stole something that didn't even matter to him all that much. Tell him how you feel. Get a parent involved. As far as your video game goes, have you asked him if he has it? Be careful not to accuse him if your not sure because if in the end it turns out he doesn't have it, you may feel a bit awful. And he may not let you live it down for a while. Good Luck.

I'm sorry to hear about your problem. Obviously you love your brother very much. Does it bother him that he is overweight? is he depressed at all or does he just not care? Is he fine with it? You should have a long talk with him about it. Being overweight can cause some long-term effects. He may be fine right now (when you were talking about the Coke consumption problem), but if keeps it up, he may not be. Try helping him with a diet. Go on a diet with him, even if you don't need one. Try helping him replace that soda with drinks that actually have nutritional value like orange juice or milk. And get him off that fast food! Last year I discovered I weighed quite a bit more then my older brother, which persuaded me to go on a diet. But it wasn't even a full-blown diet. I quit fast food and had snacks lower in calories. For example I like Oreos and I like cheeze-its. I always got cheeze-its because they were better as far as fat and calorie count goes. Even better, I got the reduced fat cheeze-its. But to deny junk food all together is a horrible thought to everyone. But try helping him cut down what he eats. I lost alot more weight then I had planned on just by doing what I did with my diet. Does your family have home cooking? If he refuses to come upstairs, bring him down some. Or prepare some stuff for him like vegetables or fruits. Claim you made it for yourself but say you thought he would like some. But like I said, going on a diet with him and being an enforcer on what he eats can help greatly. I went on the diet with my dad and he really needed it. He's doing better too. I'm sure it's a laugh to hear I'm 21 and I go to the grocery store with my dad but I go there to put back all the bad food he puts in the cart. "No cheesy puffs dad but pretzels are ok." But anyway you can give it a shot. But that pop and fast food is no good. Not only is he gaining weight, but also he's not getting the vitamins and minerals. Deficiencies in certain vitamins and minerals cause diseases. Good luck and i hope things get better.

Have you ever confronted them before? Do they know this upsets you? I have discovered that there are some people out there who truly are drama queens. Some people who will talk smack about other people behind there backs, just to cause drama. They probably know your other aunt tells you the things they say. I may be wrong about the whole drama queen thing. We've got one at work who recently dragged me into her "talking smack behind the back" deal. And i didn't even do anything. Just like you didn't even do anything. You need to do whats best for you. You need to find out if it's better for you to push them out of your life or find a way to deal with them. If they enjoy making confrontations, the thing that will get them the most is not letting it become a confrontation. They won't be able to stand that. But maybe saying something is the best way for you. Maybe you need to get this off your shoulders. All in all, you don't need it! And you don't need to be believeing them. Your doing extremely well at your age being indendent and buying your own car. You know the truth. Do whats best for you!

Of corse it's important enough to talk about. Always know that your feelings DO matter. Having an alcoholic parent is tough, i know. But i can't think of why on earth your father would single you out like that. Although i have herd of such cases and in which a parent would pick on a particular child. It's not your fault. I guess there are just some parents out there where, there's just no pleaseing them. Maybe your father has a problem with males as weird has that sounds. Does he pick on other males in the family like cousins of yours? My grandmother does that do the all males in my family like my dad, uncle, brother, and cousin. She has some sort of probelm with males... their all evil or something... and whats weird is that my grandpa was a good man. Have you tried talking to your father about how you feel? If he doesn't listen then maybe you should try working on going on in your life without having his help and approval. As hard as it sounds and will probably be, you need to watch out for yourself. You don't need your father holding you down. I wish the best for you.

My mother is a manic-depressive and an alcoholic She was never there for me when I needed her the most. She had put me through vary bad experiences. I blame her for my emotional problems. I blame her for inability to have relationships. And I can go on and on with the things she had put my brother and I through but I'll save you from that. Him and I and been trying to take care of my mother since I could remember. It's backwards. She was never there and never supported me, emotional, financially, since I was born until now. I'm lucky to have the father I have. But anyway, I remember when I was little my mother had a boyfriend who would beat her. Those days she drank all day every day. She was always sleeping on the couch. The weekends I visited her, I stayed with her by her side every minute because I knew her boyfriend didn't ever beat my mom in front of me. Back then I was taking care of my mom the only way I knew how. I tried to always be there for her but she always seemed to be depressed. Even now when she lives with my grandmother whom lets her live at the house for free and pays for her car insurance and other bills, she's always depressed. She starts drinking and disappears. My mom's car broke down months ago and my brother and I pitched in together to buy her a junker so she could get to work. She's in her 50's and she can't take care of herself and she just makes my life a living hell. She makes me depressed, and she makes me cry and exhausted. She cause conflicts between other members of the family and she had caused a problem between my brother and I. But I love her. I had lost a best-friend 2 years ago. The day my friend died I had called my mom but my grandmother said she had been missing for 3 days, which means she was on another drinking binge. I still don't forgive her for not being there for me. A couple months ago I decided to no longer talk to my mother. She cried and begged and asked me to be there for her when she tries to get sober. Well she never will. And I've always been there. Apparently I don't help things at all. So I decided to do what's best for me and to stop talking to her. My mother went on another drinking binge again and had an accident. She's in rehab now. And my brother is talking about putting her in a home and he isn't really interested in what I think because he's angry I won't talk to her. But I think about her all the time. And I still cry. And I still love her dearly. Not having her in my life isn't easy when I love her. How do I force myself to stop loving my mother? How can I make myself not care anymore? How can I rid this baggage off my shoulders because I'm trying to get on with my own life now, which is hard enough as it is? I know that's a lot to read but I always got to explain. I blab too much about my problems. I guess that all I need to ask is how to stop loving my mom. Thank you for listening