over after 5 years/I need good advice!

[juls28]

I just broke up with my BF of 5 years. he kept saying he wanted to see what it was like to see other people, so I cut him loose, cause I'd rather not let the resentment build up....

he still calls me several times a week and says he's lonely and depressed and sad. he says " I love you" whenever he callsbut still doesn't want to get back together.

I won't see him, and I won't call him....but I just need some advice on how to get through the day

[mysteriousGIRL]

Men make stupid deicisions sometimes. They think the grass is greener on the other side but really it's not. You did the right thing for cutting him lose. Just keep your cool. YOu are playing your cards right. I wish i could of kept my cool, but i didn't. Just remember, the least attention u give to him the more he wants it!!

[Bethany]

. He's only telling you that stuff because he thinks he can 'have it all' but deep down he doesn't want any of it! He is using you to ween himself off you, sounds like he can't completely let go so make him decide what he wants by himself.... Don't be available. Don't pick up the phone. Don't be there for him.

He has hurt you or doesnt he understand that? Make him understand that YOU need to move on in YOUR life too. He wanted out so make sure he stays out. Go out and get yourself a new BF and have some fun with someone who WANTS to be with you.

[freeindeed]

How do you get through the day? Give yourself the chance to see if your grass could be greener, too. Try something that you've always wanted to try but was either to embarrassed, too shy, or just didn't have the time to do. When I was going through a break up, I took up drums, and it was so much fun and such a great distraction.

 

Learn to make yourself #1 in your life again.

[Day_Walker]

I think you begin the process of healing from the break up. Take some time for yourself, go out, have fun and enjoy your new lifestyle.

[lunatic]

Men make stupid deicisions sometimes. They think the grass is greener on the other side but really it's not.

 

 

See generalizations like this one will get all of us in trouble. First off I take offense to this statement because not only do men do this but, you ladies do too. I get very annoyed by the ignorance of some of the comments people post here sometimes. Listen we are all here because we are not having the best time dealing with the ex's now and in the past. Not all men think the grass is greener on the other side.

 

Now that is out of my system...Ahhh I feel better. lol

 

On a serious note, it sounds like he realized what his life would be like without you by his side. Now he may not have thought this all the way thru or he is listening to someone else that is feeding him the grass is greener line. I think he may have noticed that with out you in his life he is no longer complete. Maybe he justs misses you very much.

 

The best thing to do is to continue NC and do as much as you can to keep yourself busy. Go out with your girlfriends, volunteer your time at a charity or something you like doing. Just get out there because the first few days will be the toughest for you anyway. Give yourself some time to heal and think about what you want from life. Find you again!

 

If you are having such a hard time dealing with the breakup then write down all the positive things being with him gives you then write down all the negative things. Then when you are feeling down or weak get that list and go over it. If you need to talk anytime feel free to PM me.

 

Hubman

[darkblue]

First off: Thank you for saying; what we were all thinking Hub.

 

Now - The best thing to do to keep your mind off of a fresh ex - is to keep busy.

 

Pack all of his stuff up and if he doesn't ask for it back - put it out of sight for a good while - they'll only taunt you later down the line.

 

Realise that this was not a mistake on your behalf - he wanted to see other people, and maybe after the comparison and experience; he'll come back (if you'll take him then). Maybe he won't.

 

But either way, you're going to heal now - because you don't know if he'll ever come back.

 

Stay Strong.