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Depressed but weird countinued


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ok last night was REALLY weird..... i was watching TV i think i was watching Roseanne, and i got really depressed and so i went in the kitchen to get some food. wasnt hungry but i wanted food. but nothing sounded good so i just like stared into space. why am i turning to food now? and if i wanted to eat why didnt anything 'sound' good? i dont get it...

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ok 1- i HATE shopping with my mother... she shops like... uhh she actully cares about religion.. meaning that if she can see ANYTHING i cant have it. they dont make anything like that. so i ended up getting pissed off and telling her that its no big deal and i wanted to leave. and 2- i hate being tiny!! im 14 and i cant wear my own age-groups clothes!!! grr i need to gain weight... (wow thats weird.... i wanted to loose weight now i wanna gain...) anyway just had to tell someone

 

one last thing... i know yall arent shrinks but do you think i could possibly be bipolar?

 

i found this online

Signs and symptoms of the manic phase (Bipolar I):

  • euphoria, feeling "high"
  • agitation, edginess, irritability, restlessness *
  • racing thoughts, talkativeness
  • increased energy, sleeplessness
  • inflated self-esteem; grandiosity; poor judgment *
  • reckless spending sprees or other activities with high potential for painful consequences *****
  • delusions or hallucinations
  • drug or alcohol use *
  • increased sexual drive
  • aggressive behavior *
  • inability to concentrate well *

Hypomania (Bipolar II) refers to an episode with less extreme symptoms than full-blown mania.

Although bipolar disorder can be diagnosed from just a manic episode, most persons with this disorder also experience the other extreme, depression.

Signs and symptoms of the depressive state:

  • abnormally low mood *
  • sadness and hopelessness *
  • excessive feelings of guilt and worthlessness *
  • difficulty concentrating or making decisions *
  • changes in appetite or weight (increase or decrease) *
  • fatigue; changes in sleep patterns (increase or decrease) *
  • loss of self-esteem *
  • diminished interest in daily activities *
  • withdrawal from others
  • drug or alcohol use *
  • suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts. *

 

i put an '*' by MY symptoms just thought i would run it by yall before i start jumping to conclusions -b/c i tend to do that a lot

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just thought i would let yall know i am single... yet again. is this an on going cycle that will never end? i was acused of ignoring him and contradicting him? hell i dont even know what the hell that means... but whatever im going to make a late new years resolution i aint datin nobody else until im freaking married.

 

 

heres the convo its SOOO nice

 

mopep2004 (3:08:50 PM): did i piss u off?

Nero Amatuarus (3:09:24 PM): Yeah, I'm dumping you because any time I talk to you, you either ignore me, or contradict me not stop.

Nero Amatuarus (3:09:36 PM): non *

mopep2004 (3:09:42 PM): k

Nero Amatuarus (3:10:36 PM): Ok, just letting you know.

mopep2004 (3:11:02 PM): well thanks for letting me know

Nero Amatuarus (3:11:17 PM): Alright then, you can leave me alone now.

 

haha my ever so awesome 'k'

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hey i have a REALLY REALLY long question.... actully the question isnt long but the "set-up" for the question is so here ya go

 

ok so along time ago like before i ever started coming here my brother(the one away at college) and i talked on aim. it started out like usual just catching up and then he said he would be coming home soon and i got excited(he didnt come and i cried), he asked me if i was going to join CAP(long story) and i said i want to but i dont want to do it alone:

 

my bro: are you going to join CAP?

me: i want to but i dont want to do it by myself

bro: it will be fun i did it by myself and look where it got me it is worth it (hes in the army corp)

me: ya but...

bro: but what?

me: if i have some1 that looks up to me.... like i look up to you and i get to where ur at i will make ther person that looks up to me feel the way i do

he goes on to say how it would be better for my life and it will make me stronger. and later in the convo i say "when i takl to you all i do is wish u where back in CAP when i was the mascot and when u lived at home and stuff though i know u though i was an annoying lil twirp i still loved you..... and sometimes i have like flashbacks... like you remember that time when we where in CAP and the cadets where testing and i had homework n u brought it in on a pillow?

 

he told me he remembered and those were good times but life moves on i told him i felt like i was loosing him and he said im not loosing him....

 

but i still feel like im loosing him what do i do? i think this is my longest post yet

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Keep messaging with him. As people get older relationships with siblings change but that doesn't mean you lose them. I am still great friends with my sister even though we live 3,500 miles apart and haven't seen each other for three years. We talk on the phone every week.

 

What is CAP?

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No problem.

 

There is another way of maintaining contact. It's a little old-fashioned but I can remember doing it quite a lot when I was younger. It's called 'writing a letter'. Basically, you write down on a piece of paper (or you can print it out on your computer if you don't own a pen) the same sort of stuff you would message to him, then you put it in a 'envelope' (still available at selected stationery supply stores) address the envelope to your brother, seal it; put a 'stamp' on it and send it in the 'mail'.

 

OK, I'm teasing - but most people like getting a letter. Try it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

the coach washes our uniforms on fridays n on mondays we get them outta this HUGE pile of everyones clothes and you only have 5 mins to do that and get dressed and i was sick so i didnt have to do nething so i thought i didnt have to dress out.... but one of the coaches said i do n i said ok but i cant find my shorts n she said just put the shirt on n go out there

 

so i did and when i handed my coach the note and he said where are your shorts and i CALMLY said i couldnt find them and before i could say anything else he yelled what the hell do you mean you cant find them?! you have been here for a week go find the _______ shorts! and then he tried to make me do 50 push ups but i refused b/c i had a note saying i need to sit out and it was from my doctor

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