stark future for the single male posters in this forum?

[Gilgamesh]

I just don't see the difficulty in getting a woman, I mean I posted stats on the low women to male ratio in my area, and yet I see women eying me once in a while, and at work I know at least two girls that would go out with me if I asked. so its not that hard.

 

Women like men with confidence, so just work the numbers, try and break the ice with 10 girls a day, eventually your gonna get some dates, its the numbers.

 

why do you think that some avg looking guys can get a new girl every week if they wanted to, and yet others go years without? its attitude and personality.

[Shinobie]

Well iono i was kind of thinkin i was gonna have it bad off.And then suddnely i got this new found confidence and started walking more confidently or whatever and looking at some girls.And when i was acting happier with myself i noticed some girls looking at me.And im thinking hey maybe if i act and feel more confident girls are more attracted to me.LIke all u guys were saying.LIke this one girl today at work i made eye contact with her like 3 times.And she was even apllying for a job cause i hope she gets it.And iono i think i saw her checking me out and i was like "what the heck girls will even do that with me?"She was even quite attractive too.So i say listen to the people who say be more confident and it actually seems like girls do like you more.Just from what ive learned so ill give it a shot.Maybe we just all have to find the girls that are interested in us and spot them out by being confident or something iono.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Kyoshiro,

 

Is that avatar picture you or not? I'm not very good at telling if people are using their own pictures or the pictures of someone they admire.

 

If that is you, I will then type something else that I'm sure will make you happy later on.

lol, I am not even close to looking like that guy, but since the internet is anonymous I picked him as my current symbol. Turn to ABC at 9:00 on Wednesdays and you'll see him, his name is Ian Somerhalder. Sorry to disappoint.

[Shinobie]

Kyoshiro,

 

Is that avatar picture you or not? I'm not very good at telling if people are using their own pictures or the pictures of someone they admire.

 

If that is you, I will then type something else that I'm sure will make you happy later on.

lol, I am not even close to looking like that guy, but since the internet is anonymous I picked him as my current symbol. Turn to ABC at 9:00 on Wednesdays and you'll see him, his name is Ian Somerhalder. Sorry to disappoint.

 

Dont think those ways kyo man.You are a great person no matter the way u look.U dont have to look as good as that guy to feel special.Be in tune with yourself and try to feel as happy with yourself as you can.I know in your situation its really hard man i dont know what its like.i read your posts man and your a great person by what I take in thats what i get from it.

[jevonj77]

This is what I have got to say...For all you guys that have found the time to do research on why you can't and won't find a girl and such; For all you guys that have found time to investigate the different dimensions that were placed before you were born as to why you won't find a girl...

 

What is wrong with you?! If you can put all that time into all that info...what this is showing is that you have the stinking time to figure out WHY you are not getting a girl. Stop sitting on your butts and saying I am a good person why am I not getting a girl and activly study women and learn what they like and work on changing accordingly. After that you have to be persistent and your standards can't be so stinkin high that only God could meet them.

 

I don't see anyone not getting a girl...maybe it is not your dream girl...but wow...you will get one...That is not to mean...that one day you are going to be walking and this girl is going to jump out of the sky and be like...Wow...there he is. You don't want to do the work...Well great, neither do they, because there are plenty of guys that are and getting the job done.

 

Girls like men who are smart, cool, loyal, have a little spark to them, have confidence and are smooth in conversation and such...besides the many other things...

 

For all you guys that have the time to do research as to why you can't get a girl; For all you guys that are tired of people not being what you call honest with you...Be freakin honest with yourself!!...so you have a terrible attitude with women...Change it!!...find out what the right one is...You dress funny, Fix it!!.. You don't talk and clam up...well work on it!!

You have low self confidence...change your thinking!! You are afraid of looking stupid asking a girl out...Make a fool out of yourself!! (This way you know that this is the worst that you could possibly do.)

 

You must investigate your target market...this is the particular girl that you would want to be with and know why...based on this you should begin to act accordingly...don't loose your personality, but I don't know one guy that hasn't done extra things with himself in order to have a girl like him...maybe it wasn't done for a specif one, but it was done in general...but later worked toward another girl...

 

Wake up men!! This is not a game for everyone...you have to have style...that's why some doctors don't have girls...a girl wants personality...If you think that all you are going to do is speak about facts with her, well it will work for a little, and then she will be like, this is like being with my classmates...what's the difference..

 

Some of you guys don't see that you may intimidate some people by the way that you are...Stop looking at everything how you see it and try to see how a woman would see it!! Wake up and do the work...or else you are just asking for it...

 

But the cliche's come about because they have a bit of reality to them...if not they would have been gone already....

 

I grew up in a strict Christian household so dating was not allowed until college...wow did that set me back...I started dating for real when I was 22...not to include when I was in elementary school...

 

I already knew what kind of girl I was after way before...and I am with a wonderful one right now...

 

Stop looking in the same back yard!!...there are generally more women than men in this planet period.

 

If you fail, it is because you fail to do your homework and because you lack passion...

[volution]

The trouble is, if you're shy, and as the years go on, you have little or no experience with women, things are going to get much worse.

Because the women, as they grow older, will tend to expect more out of a man in their 30s, then say their 20s, and thereforeeee, if you have no experience in the first place, your chances diminish away very quickly...

[corvidae]

I totally agree. Some of us really are 'doomed', concerning relationships anyway. Women! You want men to be confident, and charming, and this and that, and there doesn't seem to be any room for the guy in the corner that thinks 'Hey, I like myself, but I know I have faults'. Ha! It's just like in the wild with the Alpha males, stalking around like they think they're God's Gift, taking up all the females, we've just modified the setting to make it look civilised. Put us on any open plain in animal skins and nothing's changed in 4 million years. Here's a message for all the guys: some of us just aren't ever going to find someone. Learn to live with and be happy, or learn to live with being miserable. In all my life I haven't yet learned anything better than that! But then I'm still young.

[Caldus]

I'm going to sound like a know-it-all like I always do, but I just need to say this...

 

some of us just aren't ever going to find someone.

 

That's ridiculous. Just chill. Maybe some of you (and many on these forums who are in a relationship) need to learn how to enjoy the non-relationship side of life more. I hate to sound mean, but I think it could really help some of you. Hey, I used to be pretty bad about all of this. I'll say that. But I can say with confidence that I am quite content with my life. While I've had some 'experiences' with girls, it doesn't mean that my life is automatically complete or any better than someone who has barely even touched a girl or even talked to one. No way. So let it go for now and ... (read the next quote) ...

 

Learn to live with and be happy...

 

Don't you want to be happy anyway? Individuals tend to maximize their happiness given their situation anyway. Right? Work with ya got so far and stop comparing yourself to other people or researching statistics. Here comes a lame, cliche saying, but here we go: ya live once (well maybe we're reincarnated but still), and you'll see later on that this is all just silly and that dating or finding a date isn't as bad as some of you make it. I think I have seen that, but hey maybe it's just temporary for me right now.

 

...or learn to live with being miserable. In all my life I haven't yet learned anything better than that!

 

Why why why?

[dlplight99999]

Yes, it is important to find happiness with what you have. No need to feel depressed or angry. As far as it seems natural for a person to meet someone, the world is never 100% in anything and our situations are not any different.

 

A typical woman is bound to encounter countless suitors. She has beauty, power, and, especially today, financial independence. Why must she cower down and satisfy an inferior guy when she has more eligible options to choose from? I don't know what really defines 'attractiveness' but certainly intelligence and money don't count in this day and age. The modern women has more career options,financial independence, and ego than ever before. Ironically, kindness and a good heart aren't enough either.

 

Live your life's journey and be proud of it, as it has been a difficult one. Some of you might feel you haven't succeed enough but you've come far nonetheless. Hope may not be guaranteed in this lifetime but many feel that the human 'consciousness' is forever living ( can you just imagine yourself otherwise? ), and thus your next 'life' will offer you a second chance to make up for your longings. But until then, live your life to the fullest, as it will be quick and it'll be pity to live thru this difficult journey with so little dignity.

[Caldus]

Nice post.

 

inferior guy when she has more eligible options to choose from? I don't know what really defines 'attractiveness' but certainly intelligence and money don't count in this day and age. The modern women has more career options,financial independence, and ego than ever before. Ironically, kindness and a good heart aren't enough either.

 

Sometimes they simply look for a challenge of some sort, you know? Like they want to try to get what they think they can't really have. Because, like anyone, they wouldn't want to settle with what they can easily get. Right? Maybe you can still be the same person but maybe not give yourself to her (wow that made no sense) so easily. I'm not saying to play games, but maybe just make yourself extra desirable in some way. Maybe you're good at flirting but don't know it. Or good at keeping her 'on the edge' (OK makes no sense again but oh well). Maybe intelligence will do the job you never know. Just don't lose sight of who you are though.

[Alabama]

It took me a long time to realize something...you shouldn't let someone else be responsible for your own happiness. For the longest time I thought I needed someone to complete my life. What a bunch of bullsh!t that was. I needed me to complete my life. Be happy with what you have. Because if you try to do something that isn't you, than what good was it trying? If you aren't happy with your life, than do something! I've seen a lot of posters complain because thier nice. Is that it? Or is it that apparently all woman like jerks. Such generilazations or complaints won't solve the problem. that they don't get someone, or apparently as you get older it gets harder. If you haven't had any success now, than you won't later. Again, BS. There is no way to determine if you'll find love. So why worry about it? If you just be yourself, sometimes it will find you. But not always. Many people have gone their whole lives not finding love. Does that mean that they wasted thier life? Not at all. The point of life is to enjoy it. So do it already!

[corvidae]

I think we agree Caldus...and Alabama. You have to learn to be happy with the here and now because, as they say, the grass is always greener. BUT, I still don't think it's honest to tell someone that they WILL find someone one day. Maybe they will, but then again maybe they won't. SO the best advice to give these people is to learn to be as happy with their lives as they can be given that they MAY not ever find someone.

[Caldus]

I think we agree Caldus...and Alabama. You have to learn to be happy with the here and now because, as they say, the grass is always greener. BUT, I still don't think it's honest to tell someone that they WILL find someone one day. Maybe they will, but then again maybe they won't. SO the best advice to give these people is to learn to be as happy with their lives as they can be given that they MAY not ever find someone.

 

If you agree, then why did you make this comment earlier?:

 

...or learn to live with being miserable. In all my life I haven't yet learned anything better than that!

 

(I'm just wondering.)

[dlplight99999]

I don't know about you guys but nearly anyone is good enough for me. I don't care what ethnicity or what kind of a disease the person has. I wouldn't mind even if the person is a ditchdigger.

 

I have lower standards than probably all the posters in this forum and yet I'm encountering the same difficulties.

 

I'm not afraid to share with you my personal problems. I admit that I don't have self-esteem and I have a below-average appearance. I'm not bright or talented in any way ( except maybe in microbiology and pathology but there are many others better than me in that too), but I am a hard-worker and I devote loyalty to all of my friends. I do not lie or cheat.

 

Although I did mention some good individual qualities, I am adamant that they do not compensate for the lack of my attractiveness. My weaknesses are nearly inborn; I cannot help the way they are.

 

Is there anything I can do? Or is this post a waste of time because, although no one knows what will ever happen, I am on my way to becoming doomed?

[Caldus]

I'm not afraid to share with you my personal problems. I admit that I don't have self-esteem and I have a below-average appearance. I'm not bright or talented in any way ( except maybe in microbiology and pathology but there are many others better than me in that too), but I am a hard-worker and I devote loyalty to all of my friends. I do not lie or cheat.

 

So what? If you think you look unattractive, maybe you could start working out to increase confidence in yourself some. Those last few traits are awesome traits that some men can just never seem to grasp. So it's good that you got those. It's a great trait to admit your faults as well. Although, attraction and unattraction are to some extent subjective.

 

Although I did mention some good individual qualities, I am adamant that they do not compensate for the lack of my attractiveness. My weaknesses are nearly inborn; I cannot help the way they are.

 

Then work on your other traits. Work out or work on your social skills some more, and so on. You don't have to be super bright in some field in order to get women. You're simply letting your so-called weaknesses prevent you from letting your strengths shine. You are, to some extent, simply creating the problem for yourself. You need to work on undoing that.

 

Is there anything I can do? Or is this post a waste of time because, although no one knows what will ever happen, I am on my way to becoming doomed?

 

Work on your self-esteem first. It could take quite some time. Maybe get into a new routine that involves exercising, becoming more knowledge in the field(s) you love, or hanging out with friends and networking with other people more, etc. I think a change in routine could help.

[SkyFire]

Dude, where did you get that?

 

We are all HUMAN BEINGS. We ALL GENETICALLY have the skills we need to mate.

 

I used to be shy and insecure as hell. Now, I have no problems with girls. I can walk up and start a conversation with any girl, regardless who they are.

 

It is all in your head. You draw a line between what's real and what yout hink is real:

 

Reality: Rejection by a girl is a completely meaningless thing, since girls are human like us and will most likely not kill us for approaching them.

 

Your reality: Approaching a girl is like doing rodeo

 

People who are shy, need to work on it. Just like with everything. I used to suck at math, but ive sat down, STUDIED 3 hours a day, and now math is no challenge at all for me.

 

It's all in your mindset.

[jevonj77]

You know what bugs me...is that there are so many guys out there that are so smart in other things but increadibly stupid at the same time. I am sorry for being angry but this really angers me.

 

It is as simple as eating or doing anything.

 

The reason that someone is not good at something is because they do not practice at it and they do not learn from their mistakes.

 

Finding a girl is not rocket science.

 

This is an assignment for those that want to start it. You may have seen many guys do this before. Go out to like a mall or something, and start speaking to random women. You could ask them silly things like what time it is, or do you work here( this one requires a reason) and or things like that. If you need to, write a few of them down as to what you are going to say. Your purpose is to only to speak to them if not only for a few seconds...that's all. You are not trying to get their phone number or anything else.

 

What is this supposed to do?Well for one, it will take the stigma away from your mind as to how difficult it is to talk to women and how hard it is.

The number one key for those of you that are just starting off is to not worry about being seen as a fool. The people that you are speaking to you most likely will never see again so you don't have to worry about that. The other thing is that you want to ask questions that any person would ask. You are not trying to be romantic or funny, just normal questions. If you have spoken to guys about certain subjects, well then you already have some experience.

 

How do you work on your self-esteem? By simply doing and putting yourself in situations that you will have to improve it. Also a positive mental attitude, and not this defeatist attitude that you now have, will let you start making mistakes. Then once you have noticed that you have made your first few mistakes...you know that you are on to a good start.

 

A mistake could be like asking a girl a question and the way that you say it just makes her look at you as if you are a creep. Well you will now how good you are doing based on the responses that you get.

 

Remember, a women is not primarily interested in the looks of a guy. This may be a start, but a woman does not look for the same things that you do...being a guy. Get it? If you are a creep, she will not be interested. You have to get in the door first though, in order to let her see the other qualities that you have.

 

Well that is enough for now...tell me what you think.

[corvidae]

Well Mr. Caldus, I think the problem here is one of a misunderstanding that I can hopefully resolve now! What I meant was that if you have a given circumstance (eg. no girl, no money, no legs etc...) that may or may not change, then you have to learn to live with it and be happy under said circumstance, otherwise you will be unhappy for as long as your circumstances don't change and you will, thereforeeee, be miserable. So THEN you would need to learn to live while be miserable, but this is ONLY if you can't learn to be happy with what you have! I am a strong advocate of of trying to be happy with what you've got and not to be forever wondering 'what if?', but this is a hard state of mind to achieve so many people have to deal with a little sadness and longing in their lives. How they incorporate that into the structure of their lives such that it has minimal effect on things like their career and social life is a matter of adaptation. Thus far in my life this is the best advice I could give anyone who was unhappy under a given circumstance that might or might not be permanent and/or unchangable through any action I am aware of.

 

 

 

If you agree, then why did you make this comment earlier?:

 

...or learn to live with being miserable. In all my life I haven't yet learned anything better than that!

 

(I'm just wondering.)

[corvidae]

Yes, very interesting and for the most part I agree with what you say. The trouble is that while this advice seems excellent on first inspection, and would work well for many, it does base a few itself on a few assumptions and generalisations. It is implicated in your advice that the men having problems on this forum have a general inability to converse with or relate to women. This may be, but is not necessarily, so. I for one once lived with four girls in a shared house once, I have many female friends and would have no problem talking to a strange girl about any subject you care to mention, nor would I have trouble asking someone (female) the time/directions/advice etc... I am actually very good at making friends with women, and in many ways am actually more comfortable with them than with other men.

 

Secondly your advice assumes a certain willingness on the part of the man to behave in a certain way. Once again speaking for myself, I would like to have success with women but am not prepared to ever look a fool. For anyone. Ever. I would literally rather be single forever, which I suppose is my choice, but only because of the context of the social framework I was born into which I didn't choose.

 

Anyway, in short, I think you give sage advice, BUT I think things are more complex that simply overcoming shyness and learning to talk to women. Like I said plenty of men can talk to women just fine, but it doesn't help. Also, there is the question of what you are prepared to do and how much you are prepared to alter your existing personality.

 

I will be fascinated to hear what you think of all that.

 

 

 

Well that is enough for now...tell me what you think.

[jevonj77]

I am glad to see that you have answered...this shows two things...besides many others...that you have now at least more clearly looked at what positive attributes you have in relation to dealing with women, and that you have seen that you are also a part of holding yourself back...as you mentioned something of it being your choice not to act certian ways.

 

You are right, I did make many assumptions. The basic reason for this is because I did not and do not have time to ask every one of you guys just exactly what are your strenghts and weak points. So I just started from the very basic.

 

I mentioned being a fool. Now one must understand that you are not to act a fool...but should not be afraid to look like a fool to some people. Some people never open their mouths and say the right things because they are afraid that they will look like a fool. No matter what you say, someone will always disagree or think that maybe it could have been said better.

 

 

Now of course, just talking to women alone will not get you one. But this is a start.

 

You must now decide, that since you know that you can not please every male, let alone every female, what kind of women do you like and what qualities would you like in them or her.

 

Write it down. List it. I think she needs to be caring, beautiful, long hair, a certian color and so on and so forth.

 

This is a start. Actually, this is one of the first things that one should be doing, even before they go out talking...but both can be done symultaniously...as one might help you get more of an idea for the other.

 

Once you have decided what she is and is like. You must then begin to brainstorm on what kind of things this woman would like. Now do not look at this from your perspective but from hers.

 

She may like a person who knows himself and is sure of himself. So this would mean that you are not going to completely change your attitude inorder to be compatible to her.

 

But it is a simple as saying, if you wanted to play baseball or football...you would make certian adjustments.

 

Why, because you have the goal and you basically know how football players are and or how baseball players are.

 

Look for those of you that might be thinking...I can't change my personality, that's the way I have always been...God told me to stay like this. Well I have some news for you...you can change and it is not the end of the world. Everyone, no matter where they were born are the results of genetics and their environment that they are in now, and have been in. What this means is that there is only a small part that you can't change now and that is genetics. You can't change your skin color, height, and certian things like that. However, you can change your environment or if not so( like many people probably can't just move where they want to) you can change what you allow your brain to learn and thereby creating new and positive habits towards a certian end.

 

Some people may say that this is not right. I don't know about all that. But what I do know is that everyone was conditioned at some point in their lives and some still are being conditioned by things that they had absolutely no control over. This does not mean that now since you are old enough to monitor how you develop, you can't activly change yourself in the way that you would like. It is simply self conditioning as opposed to environmental and uncontrolable conditioning. Do not let that which you had nothing to do with, control the rest of your life.

 

 

Now when you picture this girl, what kind of things makes her really like a guy.

 

Maybe the type of girl that you like, is the one that has decided that she will never ask a guy out and will wait for this guy to ask her out. Maybe this is how she was raised.

 

This takes a little bit of thinking and research.

 

You can list them or just think of it.

 

For instance, I know a few girls that like me...why, every time I see them I say hello and I talk to them and am just a nice guy around them and such. When I come by they light up. Great...but they most likely would never ask me out just because they don't think that a girl should do that. Or maybe it is because it would be too akward. Also I would not ask them out because they are not my type. I already know what I am looking for and plus I already have a girlfriend.

 

Ok...once you have determined this picture of the kind of girl that you are looking for...know a couple of things. One, she most likely does not and will never exist, and two, you will have to change your standards a little when the real thing is in front of you.( you see, this is why some guys when they show up and it is the first time that a girl has seen them, she already thinks she likes him. Why, because he fit her already predetermined mind set of what she likes)

 

One of the things that once you have determined what kind of girl you like and such...is to find one that is close to this. For you, I believe that there are many girls in your university that might fit this description. Now one of the things you can do is ask one of them to study with you or something. This is when you will rely on your experience of speaking to women and such.

 

 

YOU MUST ASK( Just think those words in your head). Your intention is to be with this girl as much during positive events that you both can share. Being that you will always be with her, or sometimes will be with her, when these positive experiences are occurring, it will make it easier for her to find you attractive.

 

 

Tell me what you think...of course there is much more to the puzzle and I still have much more to add to what I have already said and will say.

[Caldus]

This was incredible advice and I highly recommend it. It does not mean you need to go act like a fool. Think of it as an exercise for yourself to help with your problems with women. I did so many of these types of exercises throughout the summer. I did the mall thing, then actually having a longer conversation with some girls, and so on. Now when I am not even doing these exercises, I find myself just talking to girls more often without even really thinking about it. I also feel much more confident around girls now. If any of you guys are still suffering from extreme shyness, do this.

[dlplight99999]

I don't understand how such an advice is relevant. Most of us are not shy to the extent where we can't talk to women. In fact, from my experience, I found myself in situations where I had no one but women to ask questions to. And how did these turn out? They were more like question and answer sessions with no emotional substance whatsoever. You wouldn't look like a fool when hanging out in the mall to ask 'questions' to women but it surely is a waste of time because you never really had a real question to being with and you'll probably never see them again.

 

Hence, we're back at the drawing board we started with. And that is -- is there something you can really do if you are unattractive?

 

Again, I can't speak for everyone. But there are people like me who look somewhat ugly, has no charm/talents, and doesn't have a great personality.

 

Like I said earlier, I am honest and hard-working. I know I am reliable when it comes to responsibility and I never pay bills past due dates. Unless if you are living in the 19th century, women will certainly find such traits 'desirable' but they will never compensate for shortcomings in attractiveness. With traits like mine, you aren't worth anymore than an attractive jerk.

 

I admit that I really am not good enough for anyone ( there must be a reason to why things occur, right? ) and I'd be more than happy to get nearly anyone. I don't care how much of good liar she is and I wouldn't care if she had like a thousand boyfriends before.

 

I feel it'll be extremely beneficial if people can post advices on how to get *any* person. The reality is that losers can't be choosers. We would be really selfish if we're to end up not being happy with whomever we meet because some us like me have never had anyone throughout life and aren't close to being good enough.

[Caldus]

I don't care how much of good liar she is and I wouldn't care if she had like a thousand boyfriends before.

 

Uh oh. #-o

 

I feel it'll be extremely beneficial if people can post advices on how to get *any* person. The reality is that losers can't be choosers.

 

So by your logic, any 'non-loser' gets to choose? I don't think that's true.

 

A lot of people in relationships cheat or are in it for ulterior motives. Just because you don't have someone or never have had someone means you are a loser. And you only claim that you have a bad personality. I think that by coming on this website and asking for help is someone with character. They admit to their faults. Even better, they ask how they can overcome or deal with those faults. Most people wouldn't even admit that it's a problem they have. So I'm not sure how you can make such claims as being a loser and so forth.

 

We would be really selfish if we're to end up not being happy with whomever we meet because some us like me have never had anyone throughout life and aren't close to being good enough.

 

Well, it's hard to control your emotions. If you're with someone and you're just not 'feeling it', then you have every right to talk it out with your partner or leave the relationship. It's not being selfish. It's being honest with yourself. And how does one measure how 'good' they are for someone else? I am really confused by that one.

[jevonj77]

This is to dlplight99999...

 

First...you know those glasses that you are wearing right now...yeah, uhm the glasses that make you see everything pertaining to you getting a girl as immpossible...uhm yeah...those glasses, take them off for a few seconds and put on mine. Ok?

 

Look, if you read what I said more carefully, you would see that it was A beggining. This excercise was not meant to get you a girl. Do you get it? This excercise was a stepping stone to get someone who is too afraid to speak to women to start doing so. Tell me, when you are at home studying...are you taking the test at that time? Ok, here is another one, when you are at baseball practice( not saying that you are but in general) are you at the baseball game racking up points and such? Ok, here is another one, when you study at a university, do not you go somewhere different and apply what you have learned?

 

Before you can ask a girl out, you must not be afraid to speak to her. As a matter of fact, I think that this excercise could still help you out. First of all, if you were in situations were you had no one else but girls to talk to, then speaking to them was way too easy. Your mind set is still not changed. You have to find yourself out there speaking to complete strangers that when you see them you think they are attractive and all you do is go up to them and ask them for the time and so forth. This is a little different than being with students, let's say, during class at a class project, as a group, and you have to talk to girls. Why, because they already expect you to talk to them then and so do you. You work well in this situation, but not the others. Also, I am making assumptions right now...I don't know your whole life story...

 

My second point is that you are right. A loser can not be a chooser. So if you are coming here thinking that you are a looser...well then you are damn right and I won't convince you otherwise. But I bet if I started calling you a loser instead of dlplight99999 you would get really offended. Why is that? I bet you that you know the damn answer to that question.

 

My third point is for you to read what I wrote in response to corvidae. As you would have seen, I already understood that I made some assumptions. After you have read that... tell me what you think...

 

 

 

Lastly, it is true...no guy can get any girl...just some. But I bet you a lot that the guy that has had many girls before is thinking in his egotistical head..." I can get any girl". If you don't think like a winner...no one else is going to think for you. Only you can start by changing your stinkin thinkin. You are only looking for the one that you can get and not "any" and or "every" girl.

 

Tell me what you think...and remember...the mind set is that...I can get any girl...don't think it...just think it.

[corvidae]

Yes, I understand that some generalisation is necessary, but I do feel your advice would only help with that subset of males that have trouble interacting with women through shyness or awkwardness. I actually think those people are the easiest to help, if that is truly all that is holding them back. Some of us, however, are lumbered with more complex and less easily pinned down problems. I can't even describe why I can't get a girl. I mean, I think I know on a certain level, but then it still does not feel like a satisfactory explanation. I am at a loss to explain why I have never met anyone that has been 'in to me'. Like I said, I actually make friends with women easily, and have had numerous friendship-based relationships. Perhaps I can summarise my problem by saying that no-one I have ever been attracted to has been attracted back. Which I think is odd.