DRB Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 I got this in an email from a friend the other day. Its a quote of unknown origins but I swear it was written for me. Just to hear someone put it so well...........it made me smile. "Being Twenty-something - they call it the "Quarter-life Crisis. It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realising that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realising that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognise is that they are realising that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job ... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realise that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realise that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot don't seem as fun. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realise is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Pass this to your twenty-something friends... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion... "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." It's really amazing when two Strangers become the best of friends, but it is really sad when the best of friends become two strangers." Link to comment
Gilgamesh Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 I liked that alot, lots of truth there. Link to comment
darkblue Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 There definitely is a lot of truth there. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 I've seen that before. A friend e-mailed it to me too. I definitly think there's a lot of truth in it. I think it's a time of immense questioning. But there are also many positives to being in your twenties. -BellaDonna Best Years of Life are 20s and 30s - Poll by Deborah Condon Almost two in every three people view the 20s and 30s as the best years of a person's life. We asked our 26,500 plus registered online users, in general, what they believed were the best years of life? Of those who voted, 64% selected their 20s and 30s, while 16% said their 40s and 50s. In all, 9% of people voted for their adolescent years, while the pre-teen years received 7% of votes. The lowest number of votes went to the 'retirement years', with just 4% of voters believing that these are the most enjoyable years of life Link to comment
volution Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 This is yet another pathetic attempt by authors, therapists and others to further drive a wedge between people by segregating them by physical age. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 I doubt that was the point of it. It is not encouraging segregation form other age groups, it's simply stating some common trends that people may feel when they're in their 20's. It's also not stating that EVERYONE has to agree. But surely there's got to be a difference in experience between someone who is 20, and someone who is 90. Differences do not imply segregation. In fact those differences are what make relationships between other people something GREAT. For example, I love to spend time with my great grandmother because I think she can teach me a lot about life. Spending time with my niece and nephew ages 7 and 12 also teaches me a lot. There is no need for segregation of ages. This is yet another pathetic attempt by authors, therapists and others to further drive a wedge between people by segregating them by physical age. I don't want to be mean, but I could just as easily say: That was a pathetic attempt by someone to drive a wedge into a pleasant post by trying to turn it into something negative. Come on, volution, SMILE! 8) It's not good to be so negative, at any age. BellaDonna Link to comment
Fif Angel Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 A very insightful post. Turning 20 was definitely something of a milestone for me-becoming a young adult woman as opposed to just being a `teenager`. When we`re young it`s so easy to use age as an excuse for everything `oh Im still a child,` or `typical teenager`. Once you`re 20, you no longer have that excuse any more-you have to become an adult and accept responsibilty for your choices and situations in life. I have been thinking a lot recently about where I want to go in life, particularly in terms of career. I am going back to university after a disastrous first attempt. I am also finding my attitudes and ideals changing greatly-in terms of what I look for in a friend and what I want from life. It`s funny, 21 is supposed to be one of the big landmarks, becoming of age etc but I personally think that turning 20 is a lot more significant. Link to comment
rionmccloud Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 I see this and I think. That's life. There's a stage like that in life every so often, and what you do is reevaluate things. Find new goals, if you need to, and work towards them. Nothing is solid. YOU can change anything you want about your life, so is it really that bad? No. I'm 25. It sucks sometimes, and yeah I hate my job, but I also stay at my job. That's a choice I make. Besides, I know very few peopl that LIKE working. It's not called playtime for a reason. All you can do is one of two things. I tell this to all my friends: Either do something about it, or STFU. That's really all you can do. This has become my mantra. Not trying to be rude, but it's the ultimate truth of it. 'Nuff said Link to comment
volution Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 I'm sorry, but all this babble of 'mid-life crisises', and now preposterously-named and coined 'quarter-life crisises', is just to sell books, to keep analysts and therapists in business, and to fuel cheap chat shows and problem columns in magazines and newspapers. Just as drugs firms and quack doctors invent new conditions to help keep them in business and sell new drugs, the corporate world tries to segregate people into niches so that they can viciously market stereotypical products and services to individuals according to their age, race and gender. If you search 'quarterlife' on Amazon, you will find all the books to be written within the last couple of years. Surprise? People are INDIVIDUALS. The fact is, people at ANY AGE, of ANY RACE, RELIGION, GENDER, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, DISABILITY and every other physical 'condition' could feel any or all of these things that the article has talked about. Perhaps some of you might take this article to be some kind of 'fun' or 'humorous' treatise. But are you mature enough to realise or accept the bigger picture, how people are conned into thinking they have to conform to some kind of behaviour or have some petty allegiance to a stereotype, just to be accepted in the world? Or worse still, they have some kind of malaise or illness because they are of a certain physical condition, because they are of a certain age???? I will not and can not lighten up on trojan articles like this - someone has to stand up against hypocrisy and discrimination. I can but there are so many problems in the world today, that most of the time I have to be serious, because I want to point out the problems... And articles like this are one of them... Link to comment
shes2smart Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 All you can do is one of two things. I tell this to all my friends: Either do something about it, or STFU. That's really all you can do. This has become my mantra. Not trying to be rude, but it's the ultimate truth of it. As a matter of fact, yes, that really is the basic choice in life. All the rest is details. Link to comment
DragonGirl724 Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 interesting. i know my 20s are the best years of my life so far. so much i have experienced & so much more i have yet to experience. its exciting to have your whole life ahead of you. youre 20s is really the first peek down the long road that is your life. and if you dont like what you see set for yourself then yea youre going to be morbid & depressed during your youthful 20s, but if you grab life by the B***s & run with it, then I dont see how bad it can possibly be. -DG724 Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 Here's a morbid truth for everybody in their early and mid twenties. You probably haven't achieved your gratness hapiness yet, but even more unlike,y you haven't felt your worst pain yet either. Link to comment
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