Communication

[Jypers]

For the past 5 months I have been in a great relationship. We really seem to like each other, we get along great. I can't believe I met him. The one 'problem' in this relationship is that in between the times we actually see each other (about once a week) there is no communication. He doesn't answer his phone, doesn't reply to text messages and rarely answers his e-mail.

I have let him know that for me that is a problem, I would like to communicate more, share the good and bad of the day, say good night before going to sleep, those kinds of things. Is this such a weird thing? Have you had such a situation? Is there a way to resolve this, get him to communicate more?

[btbt]

This does seem odd -- on the one extreme, there's the "he's just not that into you advice," and on the other there are explanations like, he's not a phone person, he gets really busy, wants to take it slow etc.

 

Talk to him about it. Whatever his situation, if he's interested in making this relationship work, then he should respond to your needs. It's a matter of pacing and meeting common ground, but after 5 months it seems like this kind of conversation is in order.

[caasiopia68]

if he was that interested in you he would go out of his way to make sure he talks to you...

[walkingwithaghost]

It sounds like you are not his girlfriend. Have you met his friends? Not only is the lack of communication a BAD sign. If you told him you're not happy with the situation and he hasn't changed that is an indicator he doesn't value what you want. You can not be in a great relationship and see each other once a week. This sounds very fishy to me...

[Jypers]

the funny thing is, I have met some of his friends, and his parents

 

thanks for you advice so far.

[DN]

What was his answer when you told him you want more communication?

[xmrth]

My boyfriend of almost 6 years can be the same way, but he wasn't like that at all at 5 months. In any case, my boyfriend says that he can't believe he talked to me for as long as he did because he developed a HATE for the phone. I can get in touch with him, sometimes not so easily, but I don't always hear from him during the weekdays at all, and only see him during the weekends. That is because he works and goes to school all week and usually goes to bed afterwards. But what is the reason for no contact through the whole week-- are you two busy? It's tough that you can't at least get in touch with him. If you haven't talked to him about it yet, then you should now, and say exactly how you feel about not hearing from him. Does he know you at least call? Maybe you shouldn't call at all and he'll notice that he has 0 missed calls on his phone?

[RayKay]

What did he say when you communicated with him that you liked to have contact in between the times you saw him?

 

Honestly, I could be totally off base here, but to me, at 5 months, this sounds more like a case of he is not seeing you/the relationship the same way you do. Early on it is normal to have some "hard to get" going on as you both try to establish boundaries and the relationship, but 5 months in a once-a-week date and no calls in between or emails seems rather..odd. You sound like a regular "date" rather than "woman he wants to share his life with". I know there are people who are not phone people, or email people...but even then when they care about someone and want a relationship, somehow they overcome their aversions and ensure they remain part of their love interests daily life, and they are involved in theirs.

 

If you have talked to him, and he brushes you off without much reason, I would be concerned about the disregard for your needs too..

 

Has he introduced you to others as his girlfriend?

 

Does he make future plans with you, or when he talks of the future mention you?

 

Does he ask about your day/life/interests regularly? Does he seem interested in you?

 

Does he make you feel desired - mentally, emotionally, as well as physically?

 

Does he make you feel ALIVE..not just when you are with him, but in between too?

 

What is your GUT feeling about it?