my rapist asked me to marry him!!

[Hope75]

Yes, absolutely you press charges.

 

He is sick and he needs to be taken off the street. Obviously he has something to hide if he OD's on pills.

 

Stick to your guns, girl. Just because he's sabotaging himself doesn't release him from the blame of raping you. If you drop the charges he will do it again.

Press those charges! Don't let anyone else be a victim to his violence!

[Jazz]

Apparently he drank bleach or something as well as the pills, i pressed charges and now i have a court date.. now im just worried about whats going to happen in the court room.. he has the possibility of recieving a few months only.

[Hope75]

Good for you Jazz.

 

Go in that courtroom, tell the truth, don't let him intimidate you and don't let his lawyer intimidate you either. Believe me, they will try.

 

You did nothing wrong. Just keep telling yourself that.

 

You will probably meet with your lawyer a time or two before you go in, and he/she will help prepare you to testify as well.

 

You can do this! Just remember how sick he is and how important it is to keep him from hurting other people.

 

He's obviously not insane is he recognized the consequences of his actions and tried to commit suicide afterwards.

 

Keep us posted, OK?

[Jazz]

ok hope75 i will, thank you.

[kenneth05]

i agree with a previous poster, you need to go to the cops about this person. he is a lunatic and extremely dangerous.

[Hope75]

i agree with a previous poster, you need to go to the cops about this person. he is a lunatic and extremely dangerous.

 

kenneth, she has gone to the police and pressed charges and they are now headed to court.

 

Let's wish her the best of luck and lots of courage, she will need it!

[armchairshrink]

Wow, Jazz, what a traumatic story. I read this whole thread, then went to your other post to read all of that one, too. I'm really sorry this is happening to you.

 

I can't say anything that hasn't already been said, but I will say this: I am impressed by your courage. You have repeatedly said how scared you were (justifiably so), and how you couldn't trust anyone to tell them -- and now look at you. Your mom's on your side, the police are working on your behalf, and you've got a court date! And all because you had the courage to tell.

 

You said in one post that you don't consider yourself a survivor; but you look like one to me. Stay strong, lady. Good luck in court!

[BellaDonna]

apparently at the hospital he told them how sorry he was and was asking if they could pass an apology to me,

 

He's "sorry" now that he is caught. But think of all the times he wasn't sorry and how he threatened you and tried to make you feel unsafe.

 

Apparently he drank bleach or something as well as the pills

 

There's no doubt that he is sick in the head- but he's also very manipulative- how convenient it is to attempt suicide once you're found out by the police and then claim "insanity". I'm glad his suicide attempt wasn't sucessful ONLY because now he can't escape the trial.

 

Do not feel bad for him for even a second.

 

Just be glad he's admitting his crime now.

 

I hope he gets the maximum sentence for his crime. But no matter what -you win- his crime has been revealed- he's admitting to it- and he will be off the streets. I would like to see him end up in prison and not a mental institution, but either way he'll still be off the streets.

 

As others has suggested, be strong in court. His lawyer may try to lead you into traps in questioning, like lawyers always try to do. Just be sure to talk to your lawyer and prep yourself. You did absolutely nothing wrong and I hope you will be able to find some justice!

 

BellaDonna

[Jazz]

hello everyone.

 

thank you soo much for your support and encouragement.

im sorry i have not posted in a while, i have news that some of you may

disagree with.he wants to settle out of coart to avoid public exposure or something likethat. but he wants to settle. and is still in recovery because of his suicide attempt he now has internal damages,to me its not about money or anything i want what you have all been saying " justice" for him to admitt what he did was wronge and he ruiend my life , my court date is on the day after tomorrow. means i have2 days to decide if i want an out of court settlement. what should i do now ?

[BellaDonna]

Hi Jazz. I've been following your story. Sorry I did not reply sooner, I was away. I think your court date has already passed. But if it were me I would have exposed him publicly and took him to court.

 

but he wants to settle. and is still in recovery because of his suicide attempt he now has internal damages

 

I think you, the victim, have much more "internal damage" than him and you would find more closure if he went to trial. If you settle out of court, he could be let back on to the streets and do this to someone else.

 

I think his "suicide attempts" are a last ditch effort to save his butt while his twisted world comes crashing down on him. He's a coward. Although the world would be a better place if people like him killed themselves, I don't think he should be given any mercy for being suicidal. First and foremost he is a rapist, his suicidal ideations are secondary and I don't feel bad for him. I think he should pay for being a rapist.

 

I hope your court date went well and you did what you felt was the right decision for you,

 

BellaDonna

[Hope75]

I would also take him to court, and not let him settle to avoid the exposure. the point of taking him ot court is to draw attention to what he did to you and help prevent him from doing it to another person.

 

He's sick, and he needs to get help, be it in a mental hospital or in jail/rehab. NO way should you let him off the hook so easily. He raped you, don't forget how that made you feel. Would you want him free to do it to another person?

 

If he didn't want to go to court he never should have forced himself on you and then threatened you to begin with. Don't feel sorry for him, he brought all of this upon himself.

[gypsy65]

I work as a rape crisis counselor. This man is a sexual predator and it sounds like he may be sadistic as well. This type of behavior is called stalking or harassment and it is illegal! I would suggest you consider your options of reporting him, and getting help. Don't erase his messages...save them as evidence...This man is dangerous. Let close family and friends know that he is doing this, seek support and do everything you can to protect yourself...I would also check the sex offenders registry in your state. I wouldn't doubt if this man has a record of sexual assualts and stalking.

[Jazz]

Hello all,

 

i know i havnt been here for a long time and i apologize but ive been in

counciling, i found out that i have the possibility of not being able to have

children, because of the major damage done to most of my tissues.

 

Regarding the trial, he got seven years but it was reduced to three,

because of some excuse of phsychological history, however in his

sentence its including thereopy and he is also having to pay a fine, he

seems to be realizing what he did wrong and he writes everyday.

 

when he leaves his time is over his going to be a registered sex offenderm he also joining " a road back to life" group which is baisically a group of sex

offenders trying to get back on track, im actually glad that he didnt just

walk away, but i feel like its not enough, im just not buying it.

 

he writes on occasion to apologize and tell me what he is doing, and the thing is i dont care, im not ready to hear or forgive him.

 

xxjazz

[BellaDonna]

Hi Jazz. I'm so glad you're doing better.

 

Take it one day at a time.

 

he writes on occasion to apologize and tell me what he is doing, and the thing is i dont care, im not ready to hear or forgive him.

 

Save these letters. Tell your mom, and contact the police. Do you have a no contact order against him? He should NOT be contacting you at all. What an idioit he is.

 

You should not have to deal with that stupidity. If I were you, I would contact the police and tell them about these letters.

 

BellaDonna

[DN]

BellaDonna is absolutely right. Society at large may or may not be glad or even convinced that he is reforming himself into a good boy. That is highly debatable.

 

But that is not your problem and he should not be allowed to do that at the expense of your feelings. I am surprised that his letters from jail are not monitored but since they are not I think you should consider filing a complaint with the police and see if they will help you to get a restraining order.

 

Do what ever it takes to get this man out of your life. Don't allow him the slightest bit of control over you. Even an apology is another form of control, in my opinion.

[Meow18]

I completely agree with BellaDonna and DN.

 

This guy is a creep. He's trying everything he can to keep you in his life. He feels like he has complete power over you and refuses to believe anything else.

 

You are now the one who has the ability to show him that you won't allow it anymore. You charged him, which showed him that you won't let him get away with what he did to you. You can now stop reading his letters and avoid any kind of contact with him. That will really show him that you won't let him have power over you.

 

Like BellaDonna said, get the police involved. This guy raped you and he is in jail for a reason. He should not be contacting you.

[Jazz]

I took in what you all said about, him writing to me still, so i reported it, an officer i spoke to said that generally he is allowed to write and that they do check what he writes, and that they found nothing offensive in these letters he said:

" he is just writing to tell you how he is doing and that he is sorry and that im overreacting"

 

thats ! i my lawyer says that reguardless of what he writes, if i find it offensive i can report it and they can bar him, but still each time i go down there i keep getting asigned to that one officer who keeps telling me that this is part of my rapists recovery, i told him that it is interffering with mine and he whispers little slurs like "i bet you wanted it.. i'd tap that" i know that is wrong and i wanted so much to slap him.

[Hope75]

Can you just not open the letters and write, "return to sender" on them and file for a restraining order so that he cannot send you anymore?

[DN]

I don't know where you live but try making a complaint to whover heads-up the Department of Corrections or whatever the same thing is where you are.

[Meow18]

Wow. There's nothing right about that at all! DN and Hope gave some good advice for that. I really hope something can happen to stop this.

[BellaDonna]

my lawyer says that reguardless of what he writes, if i find it offensive i can report it and they can bar him, but still each time i go down there i keep getting asigned to that one officer who keeps telling me that this is part of my rapists recovery, i told him that it is interffering with mine and he whispers little slurs like "i bet you wanted it.. i'd tap that" i know that is wrong and i wanted so much to slap him.

 

Report it. Get a no contact order so he can't send you ANYTHING. This might sound mean- but screw his recovery....yours is far more important. You were the victim- not him. He's the criminal- he should not be able to re-victimize you. I would like to tell him where he can stick those letters...and how high. Anyways.....

 

Also that officer who made that comment about you "wanting it" is a disgusting twisted pig who needs to be reported also. He does not deserve to have a job in law enforcement. I hope he never has to respond to a rape or a domestic assault....or work in a women's prison- I can only imagine how he'd treat women there. If not for yourself, then for the good of society: REPORT HIM too.

 

Keep talking to your lawyer to create a plan of action and report both of them.

 

How sickening. That is the LAST thing you need -you've been through so much. But you're a such strong person and I know you'll get through this too.

 

Keep your head up, and keep us informed. Don't give up!

 

 

BellaDonna

[Jazz]

hey guys. its been a long time running.

 

so much has happened since i was last here.

 

you have all helped me. in that specific problem that i had.

 

the rapist is out of my life all together.

 

i felt like a better person. as if now i could be who i really wanted to be.

 

and its all thanks to you..

 

i dont know how else i could thank you..

[EvaGina]

-fumes-

tell me where he lives and Ill knee-cap him.

 

 

dont, ever contact this man... call the police, SHOW THEM that text!!! do not delete ANY messages from him from now on... let the police deal with it.

 

I cannot begin to fathom this behaviour. He needs to be locked up.

[tylercdurden2004]

hey guys. its been a long time running.

 

so much has happened since i was last here.

 

you have all helped me. in that specific problem that i had.

 

the rapist is out of my life all together.

 

i felt like a better person. as if now i could be who i really wanted to be.

 

and its all thanks to you..

 

i dont know how else i could thank you..

 

Jazz,

 

You are a very strong person who never gives up. You did everything you could to get yourself better. I wish all the best for you.

[Gracelove]

What a freakin' psycho!!! Please report him to the police, he is obviously crazy/dangerous.

 

AND, he is an absolute liar!

And an extreme jerk!

 

Of course someone will want you. There are so many nice, sweet guys out there who will support you regardless of your being raped (I met my current boyfriend after I was raped).

 

Please report him. If the law isn't involved, then they can't intimidate him. If they don't intimidate him then he won't stop.

I'm so, so very sorry.

 

Rapists have a desire to control and hurt women, don't let him hurt you anymore (verbal attacks included).

I just read what you said about the police officer! Ask to speak to his superior. I can't believe he told you that you were over-reacting!

That's what makes rape recovery so hard, people don't always take it seriously.

What about writing a letter, or e-mail......actually, why don't you have your lawyer go with you. I think that would be best. It's best not to report these things alone. You may need a witness.

But I'm sure your lawyer could straighten everything out.

I mean, who in the world cares about a rapists' recovery?

What in the world do they have to recover from?